This is a live mirror of the Perl 5 development currently hosted at https://github.com/perl/perl5
Merge branch 'release-5.23.5' into blead
[perl5.git] / Porting / epigraphs.pod
CommitLineData
f1e17f6f
AB
1=encoding utf8
2
4363636d
DG
3=head1 NAME
4
0e6b8110 5perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs
4363636d
DG
6
7=head1 DESCRIPTION
8
0e6b8110 9Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt
2831a86c
ZA
10from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or release
11manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for posterity,
12and also links to the release announcements in mailing list archives.
4363636d 13
de6a5728 14I<Note>: these have also been referred to as I<epigrams>, but the
0e6b8110
DG
15definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used.
16Consult your favorite dictionary for details.
17
18=head1 EPIGRAPHS
4363636d 19
f8f2c42b
SH
20=head2 v5.23.4 - Denis Diderot, trans. David Coward, "Jacques the Fatalist"
21
22L<Announced on 2015-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/10/msg232040.html>
23
24Well, everybody's got a dog. The prime minister is the king's dog. The
25first secretary is the prime minister's dog. A wife is a husband's dog,
26or a husband is a wife's dog. Favourite is Madame So-and-so's dog and
27Thibaut is the man on the corner's dog. When my Master tells me to talk
28when I'd prefer not to, which to be honest doesn't happen very often,
29when he tells me to shut up when I feel like talking, which I find very
30difficult, when he asks me to tell the story of my love-life and then
31keeps interrupting, what am I if not his dog? Weak men are the dogs of
32strong men.
33
0e9baca6
PM
34=head2 v5.23.3 - Oliver Wendell Holmes, "The Deacon’s Masterpiece or The Wonderful 'One-Hoss Shay': A Logical Story"
35
36L<Announced on 2015-09-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/09/msg231173.html>
37
38 Little of of all we value here
39 Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year
40 Without both feeling and looking queer.
41 In fact, there’s nothing that keeps its youth,
42 So far as I know, but a tree and truth.
43 (This is a moral that runs at large;
44 Take it. — You’re welcome. — No extra charge.)
45
6687d205
MH
46=head2 v5.23.2 - Blind Guardian, "Skalds and Shadows"
47
4442630f 48L<Announced on 2015-08-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230298.html>
6687d205
MH
49
50 Would you believe in a night like this
51 A night like this, when visions come true
52 Would you believe in a tale like this
53 A lay of bliss, praise in the old lore
54 Come to the blazing fire and
55
56 See me in the shadows
57 See me in the shadows
58 Songs I will sing
59 Of runes and rings
60 Just hand me my harp
61 This night turns into myth
62 Nothing seems real
63 You soon will feel
64 The world we live in is another skald's
65 Dream in the shadows
66 Dream in the shadows
67
68 Do you believe there is sense in it
69 Is it truth or myth?
70 They´re one in my rhymes
71 Nobody knows the meaning behind
72 The weaver's line
73 Well nobody else but the Norns can
74 See through the blazing fires of time and
75 All things will proceed as the
76 Child of the hallowed
77 Will speak to you now
78
79 See me in the shadows
80 See me in the shadows
81 Songs I will sing of tribes and kings
82 The carrion bird and the hall of the slain
83 Nothing seems real
84 You soon will feel
85 The world we live in is another skald´s
86 Dream in the shadows
87 Dream in the shadows
88
89 Do not fear for my reason
90 There's nothing to hide
91 How bitter your treason
92 How bitter the lie
93 Remember the runes and remember the light
94 All I ever want is to be at your side
95 We'll gladden the raven now I will
96 Run through the blazing fires
97 That's my choice
98 Cause things shall proceed as foreseen
99
904c4cac
MH
100=head2 v5.23.1 - Elizabeth Haydon, "The Assassin King"
101
102L<Announced on 2015-07-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/07/msg229413.html>
103
104 I was born beneath this willow,
105 Where my sire the earth did farm
106 Had the green grass as my pillow
107 The east wind as a blanket warm.
108
109 But away! away! called the wind from the west
110 And in answer I did run
111 Seeking glory and adventure
112 Promised by the rising sun.
113
114 I found love beneath this willow,
115 As true a love as life could hold,
116 Pledged my heart and swore my fealty
117 Sealed with a kiss and a band of gold.
118
119 But to arms! to arms! called the wind from the west
120 In faithful answer I did run
121 Marching forth for king and country
122 In battles 'neath the midday sun.
123
124 Oft I dreamt of that fair willow
125 As the seven seas I plied
126 And the girl who I left waiting
127 Longing to be at her side.
128
129 But about! about! called the wind from the west
130 As once again my ship did run
131 Down the coast, about the wide world
132 Flying sails in the setting sun.
133
134 Now I lie beneath the willow
135 Now at last no more to roam,
136 My bride and earth so tightly hold me
137 In their arms I'm finally home.
138
139 While away! away! calls the wind from the west
140 Beyond the grave my spirit, free
141 Will chase the sun into the morning
142 Beyond the sky, beyond the sea.
143
144=head2 v5.23.0 - Bob Dylan, Maggie's Farm
145
146L<Announced on 2015-06-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228807.html>
147
148 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
149 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
150 Well, I try my best
151 To be just like I am
152 But everybody wants you
153 To be just like them
154 They sing while you slave and I just get bored
155 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
156
02c981b8
SH
157=head2 v5.22.1-RC2 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "The Old Head" (No. 14 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
158
159L<Announced on 2015-11-15 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/11/msg232632.html>
160
161 The hoary frost has a white sheen
162 Strewn all over my hair,
163 So I thought I was an old man
164 And thought life dealt me fair.
165
166 Yet soon was thawed my old white mane,
167 And I have my black hair again.
168 How I abhor my young fair years,
169 How long to wait for death and biers?
170
171 From setting sun to morning's hue
172 Many a head turns white.
173 Who'll credit it? My hair did not
174 In all this lifelong plight!
175
ad307f47
SH
176=head2 v5.22.1-RC1 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Will-o'-the Wisp" (No. 9 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
177
178L<Announced on 2015-10-31 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/10/msg232321.html>
179
180 In the deepest rocky crevice
181 A will-o'-the wisp lured me;
182 How I could find my way from here,
183 For me it's easy memory!
184
185 For I am used to straying ways,
186 Every path to th'end a way,
187 All our joys and all our suffering,--
188 To a will-o'-the wisp it 's all play!
189
190 Through the dried-up bed of torrents
191 I quite calmly downward stroll;
192 Every stream its sea will enter,
193 Every suffering finds its goal!
194
4e3e12f8
RS
195=head2 v5.22.0 - Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
196
197L<Announced on 2015-06-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228300.html>
198
199“You are the advocate of the dead.”
200
201The old man nodded. “I am. People talk about being fair to this one and
202that one, but nobody I ever heard talks about doing right by them. We
203take everything they had, which is all right. And spit, most often, on
204their opinions, which I suppose is all right too. But we ought to
205remember now and then how much of what we have we got from them. I
206figure while I’m still here I ought to put a word in for them.”
207
82b39489
RS
208=head2 v5.22.0-RC2 - T.S. Eliot, unpublished work
209
210L<Announced on 2015-05-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228142.html>
211
212 And when thyself with silver foot shall pass
213 Among the theories scattered on the grass
214 Take up my good intentions with the rest
215
216=head2 v5.22.0-RC1 - Gene Wolfe, Citadel of the Autarch
217
218L<Announced on 2015-05-19 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228059.html>
219
220There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by
221its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity.
222
9ba8eca3
SH
223=head2 v5.21.11 - Algernon Charles Swinburne, "Dolores (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs)"
224
225L<Announced on 2015-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/04/msg227472.html>
226
227 They shall pass and their places be taken,
228 The gods and the priests that are pure.
229 They shall pass, and shalt thou not be shaken?
230 They shall perish, and shalt thou endure?
231 Death laughs, breathing close and relentless
232 In the nostrils and eyelids of lust,
233 With a pinch in his fingers of scentless
234 And delicate dust.
235
236 But the worm shall revive thee with kisses;
237 Thou shalt change and transmute as a god,
238 As the rod to a serpent that hisses,
239 As the serpent again to a rod.
240 Thy life shall not cease though thou doff it;
241 Thou shalt live until evil be slain,
242 And good shall die first, said thy prophet,
243 Our Lady of Pain.
244
c8d2be4d
SH
245=head2 v5.21.10 - Aldous Huxley, "The Devils of Loudun"
246
247L<Announced on 2015-03-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/03/msg226847.html>
248
249The fire burned on, the good fathers continued to sprinkle and intone.
250Suddenly a flock of pigeons came swooping down from the church and
251started to wheel around the roaring column of flame and smoke. The
252crowd shouted, the archers waved their halberds at the birds, Lactance
253and Tranquille splashed them on the wing with holy water. In vain. The
254pigeons were not to be driven away. Round and round they flew, diving
255through the smoke, singeing their feathers in the flames. Both parties
256claimed a miracle. For the parson's enemies the birds, quite obviously,
257were a troop of devils, come to fetch away his soul. For his friends,
258they were emblems of the Holy Ghost and living proof of his innocence.
259It never seems to have occurred to anyone that they were just pigeons,
260obeying the laws of their own, their blessedly other-than-human nature.
261
94fa4f56
S
262=head2 v5.21.9 - Emily Dickinson, "There is Another Sky"
263
c8d2be4d 264L<Announced on 2015-02-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg226002.html>
94fa4f56 265
e5f16b09
SH
266 There is another sky,
267 Ever serene and fair,
268 And there is another sunshine,
269 Though it be darkness there;
270 Never mind faded forests, Austin,
271 Never mind silent fields -
272 Here is a little forest,
273 Whose leaf is ever green;
274 Here is a brighter garden,
275 Where not a frost has been;
276 In its unfading flowers
277 I hear the bright bee hum:
278 Prithee, my brother,
279 Into my garden come!
94fa4f56 280
8917c25b
MH
281=head2 v5.21.8 - Bill Watterson, "Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection"
282
06dcbead 283L<Announced on 2015-01-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/01/msg224869.html>
8917c25b
MH
284
285Calvin: OK Hobbes, press the button and duplicate me.
286Hobbes: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
287Calvin: Brother! You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions! This is a *BRILLIANT* idea! Hit the button, will ya?
288Hobbes: I'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress... Here you go.
289[Box]: *BOINK*
290Hobbes: Scientific progress goes "BOINK"?
291Calvin?: It worked! It worked! I'm a genius!
292Cavlin??: No you're not, you liar! *I* invented this!
293
2ee7da68 294=head2 v5.21.7 - Robert Heinlein, "The Number of the Beast"
d171d861
MM
295
296L<Announced on 2014-12-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/12/msg223774.html>
297
4ed12d4a
SH
298"Zebadiah, Hilda and I salvaged and put everything into the basket.
299Hilda started to put it into our wardrobe-and it was heavy. So
300we looked. Packed as tight as when we left Oz. Six bananas-and
301everything else. Cross my heart. No, go look."
302"Hmmm- Jake, can you write equations for a picnic basket that
303refills itself? Will it go on doing so?"
304"Zeb, equations can be written to describe anything. The description
305would be simpler for a basket that replenishes itself indefinitely
306than for one that does it once and stops-I would have to describe
307the discontinuity."
d171d861 308
2ee7da68 309=head2 v5.21.6 - Jeff Noon, "Vurt"
11741df4
CBW
310
311L<Announced on 2014-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/11/msg222448.html>
312
4ed12d4a
SH
313GAME CAT
314
315EXCHANGE MECHANISMS. Sometimes we lose precious
316things. Friends and colleagues, fellow travellers in the
317Vurt, sometimes we lose them; even lovers we sometimes
318lose. And get bad things in exchange: aliens, objects,
319snakes, and sometimes even death. Things we don't want.
320This is part of the deal, part of the game deal;
321all things, in all worlds, must be kept in balance.
322Kittlings often ask, who decides on the swappings? Now then,
323some say it's all accidental; that some poor Vurt thing
324finds himself too close to a door, at too critical a time,
325just when something real is being lost. Whoosh! Swap time!
326Others say that some kind of overseer is working the
327MECHANISMS OF EXCHANGE, deciding the fate of innocents.
328The Cat can only tease at this, because of the big secrets
329involved, and because of the levels between you, the reader,
330and me, the Game Cat. Hey, listen; I've struggled to get
331where I am today; why should I give you the easy route?
332Get working, kittlings! Reach up higher. Work the Vurt.
11741df4 333
2ee7da68 334=head2 v5.21.5 - Friso Wiegersma (text), Jean Ferrat (music), Wim Sonneveld (performer), "Het Dorp"
b22c1b06
A
335
336L<Announced on 2014-10-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg221399.html>
337
338 Het Dorp
339
340 Thuis heb ik nog een ansichtkaart
341 waarop een kerk, een kar met paard,
342 een slagerij J. van der Ven.
343 Een kroeg, een juffrouw op de fiets
344 het zegt u hoogstwaarschijnlijk niets,
345 maar 't is waar ik geboren ben.
346 Dit dorp, ik weet nog hoe het was,
347 de boerenkind'ren in de klas,
348 een kar die ratelt op de keien,
349 het raadhuis met een pomp ervoor,
350 een zandweg tussen koren door,
11741df4 351 het vee, de boerderijen.
b22c1b06
A
352
353 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
354 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
355 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 356 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
b22c1b06
A
357
358 Wat leefden ze eenvoudig toen
359 in simp'le huizen tussen groen
360 met boerenbloemen en een heg.
361 Maar blijkbaar leefden ze verkeerd,
362 het dorp is gemoderniseerd
363 en nu zijn ze op de goeie weg.
364 Want ziet, hoe rijk het leven is,
365 ze zien de televisiequiz
366 en wonen in betonnen dozen,
367 met flink veel glas, dan kun je zien
368 hoe of het bankstel staat bij Mien
369 en d'r dressoir met plastic rozen.
370
371 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
372 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
373 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 374 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
b22c1b06
A
375
376 De dorpsjeugd klit wat bij elkaar
377 in minirok en beatle-haar
378 en joelt wat mee met beat-muziek.
379 Ik weet wel, het is hun goeie recht,
380 de nieuwe tijd, net wat u zegt,
381 maar het maakt me wat melancholiek.
382 Ik heb hun vaders nog gekend
383 ze kochten zoethout voor een cent
384 ik zag hun moeders touwtjespringen.
385 Dat dorp van toen, het is voorbij,
386 dit is al wat er bleef voor mij:
387 een ansicht en herinneringen.
388
389 Toen ik langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
390 de hoge bomen nog zag staan.
391 Ik was een kind, hoe kon ik weten
392 dat dat voorgoed voorbij zou gaan.
393
2ee7da68 394=head2 v5.21.4 - Edgar Allan Poe, "The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket"
28c2c58f
SH
395
396L<Announced on 2014-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220267.html>
397
4ed12d4a
SH
398To-day, being in latitude 83° 20', longitude 43° 5' W. (the sea being
399of an extraordinarily dark colour), we again saw land from the
400masthead, and, upon a closer scrutiny, found it to be one of a group
401of very large islands. The shore was precipitous, and the interior
402seemed to be well wooded, a circumstance which occasioned us great
403joy. In about four hours from our first discovering the land we came
404to anchor in ten fathoms, sandy bottom, a league from the coast, as a
405high surf, with strong ripples here and there, rendered a nearer
406approach of doubtful expediency. The two largest boats were now
407ordered out, and a party, well armed (among whome were Peters and
408myself), proceeded to look for an opening in the reef which appeared
409to encircle the island. After searching about for some time, we
410discovered an inlet, which we were entering, when we saw four large
411canoes put off from the shore, filled with men who seemed to be well
412armed. We waited for them to come up, and, as they moved with great
413rapidity, they were soon within hail. Captain Guy now held up a white
414handkerchief on the blade of an oar, when the strangers made a full
415stop, and commenced a loud jabbering all at once, intermingled with
416occasional shouts, in which we could distinguish the words Anamoo-moo!
417and Lama-Lama! They continued this for at least half an hour, during
418which we had a good opportunity of observing their appearance.
28c2c58f 419
c682aa67
SH
420=head2 v5.21.3 - Robert Service, "The Men that Don't Fit In"
421
422L<Announced on 2014-08-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218826.html>
423
424 If they just went straight they might go far,
425 They are strong and brave and true;
426 But they're always tired of the things that are,
427 And they want the strange and new.
428 They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
429 What a deep mark I would make!"
430 So they chop and change, and each fresh move
431 Is only a fresh mistake.
432
433=head2 v5.21.2 - Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Charlie Duke, Final minutes of communication of the first manned moon landing, July 20, 1969
434
435L<Announced on 2014-07-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/07/msg217937.html>
436
437 Armstrong: Okay. Here's a...Looks like a good area here.
438 Aldrin: I got the shadow out there.
439 Aldrin: 250, down at 2 1/2, 19 forward.
440 Aldrin: Altitude, velocity lights.
441 Aldrin: 3 1/2 down, 220 feet, 13 forward.
442 Aldrin: 11 forward. Coming down nicely.
443 Armstrong: Gonna be right over that crater.
444 Aldrin: 200 feet, 4 1/2 down.
445 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down.
446 Armstrong: I got a good spot [garbled].
447 Aldrin: 160 feet, 6 1/2 down.
448 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down, 9 forward. You're looking good.
449 Aldrin: 120 feet.
450 Aldrin: 100 feet, 3 1/2 down, 9 forward. Five percent. Quantity light.
451 Aldrin: Okay. 75 feet. And it's looking good. Down a half, 6 forward.
452 Duke: 60 seconds.
453 Aldrin: Light's on.
454 Aldrin: 60 feet, down 2 1/2. 2 forward. 2 forward. That's good.
455 Aldrin: 40 feet, down 2 1/2. Picking up some dust.
456 Aldrin: 30 feet, 2 1/2 down. [Garbled] shadow.
457 Aldrin: 4 forward. 4 forward. Drifting to the right a little. 20 feet,
458 down a half.
459 Duke: 30 seconds.
460 Aldrin: Drifting forward just a little bit; that's good.
461 Aldrin: Contact Light.
462 Armstrong: Shutdown.
463 Aldrin: Okay. Engine Stop.
464 Aldrin: ACA out of Detent.
465 Armstrong: Out of Detent. Auto.
466 Aldrin: Mode Control, both Auto. Descent Engine Command Override, Off.
467 Engine Arm, Off. 413 is in.
468 Duke: We copy you down, Eagle.
469 Armstrong: Engine arm is off.
470 Armstrong: Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.
471 Duke: Roger, Twan...[correcting himself] Tranquility. We copy you on
472 the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue.
473 We're breathing again. Thanks a lot.
474 Aldrin: Thank you.
475
476=head2 v5.21.1 - Robert Jordan, "The Crossroads of Twilights", Book 10 of "The Wheel of Time"
477
478L<Announced on 2014-06-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/06/msg217030.html>
479
480 We rode on the winds of the rising storm,
481 We ran to the sounds of the thunder.
482 We danced among the lightning bolts,
483 and tore the world asunder.
484
485 -- Anonymous fragment of a poem believed
486 written near the end of the previous Age,
487 known by some as the Third Age.
488 Sometimes attributed to the Dragon
489 Reborn.
490
491=head2 v5.21.0 - Friedrich von Schiller, "The Song of the Bell"
492
493L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215826.html>
494
495 Walled in fast within the earth
496 Stands the form burnt out of clay.
497 This must be the bell’s great birth!
498 Fellows, lend a hand to-day.
499 Sweat must trickle now
500 From the burning brow,
501 Till the work its master honour.
502 Blessing comes from Heaven’s Donor.
503
f483a002
SH
504=head2 v5.20.3 - Elias Lönnrot, trans. Keith Bosley, "The Kalevala", Canto 42: Stealing the Sampo
505
506L<Announced on 2015-09-12 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/09/msg230945.html>
507
508 Steady old Väinämöinen
509 uttered a word and spoke thus:
510 'No lilting on the waters
511 and no singing on the waves!
512 Song keeps you lazy
513 tales delay rowing.
514 Precious day would pass and night
515 would overtake us midway
516 on these wide waters
517 upon these vast waves.'
518
519 The wanton Lemminkäinen
520 uttered a word and spoke thus:
521 'The time will pass anyway
522 the fair day will flee
523 and the night will come panting
524 and the twilight will steal in
525 if you don't sing while you live
526 nor hum in this world.'
527
9d05662d
SH
528=head2 v5.20.3-RC2 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
529
530L<Announced on 2015-08-29 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230544.html>
531
532'I fled from Basra, sad and tearful, with no idea where I was going,
533and I was reciting these lines:
534
535 The pain of parting makes me melt away,
536 As lovers do when those they love are harsh.
537 I wonder at the patience that I showed
538 When I had lost my love, for that was wonderful.
539 Beloved, do you know that since you left,
540 I have remained confused in misery.
541
542I then heard a voice that said: "Damn you, have you no fear of
543Almighty God that you hand over a girl to an unbelieving 'ifrit?" I
544walked for a time amongst the palm-trees until I caught sight of a
545person, whom I approached. When I asked him who he was he said: "I
546am one of the jinn who were converted to Islam at the hands of 'Ali
547ibn Abi Talib, may God ennoble him." "How can I get to my wife?" I
548asked him, and he said: "Wretched fellow, you had a bird which you
549allowed to fly away and now you want to fly after it." But he
550added: "Follow this road with God's blessing all night until dawn
551and then by the shore you will see a huge cave in which there is an
552idol made of white stone. You must drink of the water that there is
553coming out of the cave and smear your face with its mud. Stay there
554and a barge will pass you as you stand opposite the statue. Various
555different creatures will emerge, heads without bodies and bodies
556without heads, and they will prostrate themselves in adoration to
557the idol rather than to Almighty God. When you see that, embark on
558the barge and cross to the other bank and walk along it until
559sunset. On a high point you will see a castle built of bricks of
560gold and silver. That is where your 'ifrit will be. I have now
561told you about this, so goodbye."
562
1c94dd53
SH
563=head2 v5.20.3-RC1 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
564
565L<Announced on 2015-08-22 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230359.html>
566
567'On the night of the wedding the ape came to sit in front of me and
568asked me what I intended to do. "Whatever you tell me," I replied,
569and he said: "Take care not to covet the girl, or I shall come back
570and burn you up and leave you as a lesson for those who can learn."
571I agreed to this and when evening came I found the world full of
572candles and torches burning in holders of gold and silver. There
573were servants and serving girls, and everyone who saw me
574congratulated me on my good fortune, as there was no girl on the
575face of the earth more beautiful than my bride.
576[...]
577'Next morning I went out to the market, and people went in and asked
578her how the night had been. "He never looked up at me," she told
579them. Then, when it was afternoon, I went to my house, where the
580ape was sitting by the door. "Tell me what you did," it said, and I
581told it: "By God, I did not learn and do not know whether this was a
582man or a girl." "That's what I want," it said.
583[...]
584'On the second night my bride was brought to me, after which the
585servants left her and went away. She fell asleep, and, while she
586was sleeping, I killed the cock, wrapped it in the cloth and put the
587four poles from the couch over it. Suddenly there was a huge crash
588like a peal of thunder and a fiery 'ifrit swooped on the girl. I
589fainted at the sight and when I recovered I heard a voice saying:
590"By the Lord of the Ka'ba, the girl has been carried off!" and there
591was a sound like the rustling of wind and bitter weeping. At this I
592shed tears, struck my head and was filled with regret when it was no
593longer of any use, for to me the whole world was worth no more than
594a bean.
595
61c85015
SH
596=head2 v5.20.2 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Magical Trevor"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/magical-trevor.html>
597
598L<Announced on 2015-02-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225777.html>
599
600 Everyone loves Magical Trevor,
601 'Cos the tricks that he does are ever so clever;
602 Look at him now, disappearin' the cow,
603 Where is the cow hidden right now?
604
605 Taking a bow, it's Magical Trevor,
606 Everybody's seen that the trick is clever;
607 Look at him there with his leathery, leathery whip!
608 It's made of magic, and with a little flip--
609
610 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back,
611 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back;
612 Back, back, back from his magical journey,
613 Yeah!
614
615 What did he see in the parallel dimension?
616 He saw beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans;
617 Oh, beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans,
618 Yeah, yeah!
619
8e0a1bb9
SH
620=head2 v5.20.2-RC1 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Scampi"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/scampi.html>
621
622L<Announced on 2015-02-01 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225273.html>
623
624 I've seen things,
625 I've seen them with my eyes;
626 I've seen things,
627 They're often in disguise.
628
629 Like carrots, handbags, cheese, toilets,
630 Russians, planets, hamsters, weddings,
631 Poets, Stalin, Kuala Lumpur!
632 Pygmies, budgies, Kuala Lumpur!
633
634 I've seen things,
635 I've seen them with my eyes;
636 I've seen things,
637 They're often in disguise.
638
639 Like carrots, handbags, cheese...
640
2ee7da68 641=head2 v5.20.1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. Diana Reed, "Così fan tutte"
c43e8743
SH
642
643L<Announced on 2014-09-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219789.html>
644
645 DORABELLA (as if waking from a daze): Where are they?
646 DON ALFONSO: They've gone.
647 FIORDILIGI: Oh, the cruel bitterness of parting!
648
649 DON ALFONSO:
650 Take heart, my dearest children.
651 Look, in the distance, your lovers are waving to you.
652
653 FIORDILIGI: Bon voyage, my darling!
654 DORABELLA: Bon voyage!
655
656 FIORDILIGI:
657 O heavens! How swiftly the ship is sailing away!
658 It is disappearing already!
659 It is no longer in sight!
660 Oh, may heaven grant it a prosperous voyage!
661
662 DORABELLA: May good luck attend it to the battlefield!
663 DON ALFONSO: And may your sweethearts and my friends be safe!
664
665 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA, DON ALFONSO:
666 May the wind be gentle,
667 may the sea be calm,
668 and may the elements
669 respond kindly
670 to our wishes.
671
2ee7da68 672=head2 v5.20.1-RC2 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
d1da2d57
SH
673
674L<Announced on 2014-09-07 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219446.html>
675
676 GUGLIELMO:
677 Oh God, I feel that this foot of mine
678 is reluctant to come before her.
679
680 FERRANDO:
681 My trembling lip
682 can utter no word.
683
684 DON ALFONSO:
685 The hero displays his manliness
686 in the most terrible moments.
687
688 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA:
689 Now that we have heard the news,
690 you have the lesser duty:
691 Take heart, and plunge your swords
692 into both our hearts.
693
694 FERRANDO, GUGLIELMO:
695 My idol, blame fate
696 that I must abandon you.
697
698 DORABELLA: Ah no, you shall not leave...
699 FIORDILIGI: No, cruel one, you shall not go...
700 DORABELLA: First I want to tear out my heart.
701 FIORDILIGI: First I want to die at your feet.
702 FERRANDO (softly to Don Alfonso): What do you say to that?
703 GUGLIELMO (softly to Don Alfonso): You realise?
704 DON ALFONSO (softly): Steady, friend, finem lauda.
705
706 ALL:
707 Thus destiny defrauds
708 the hopes of mortals.
709 Ah, among so many misfortunes,
710 who can ever love life?
711
2ee7da68 712=head2 v5.20.1-RC1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
e1ded6ad
SH
713
714L<Announced on 2014-08-25 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218975.html>
715
716 DON ALFONSO:
717 I'd like to speak, but I haven't the heart:
718 my lip stammers.
719 My voice cannot emerge,
720 but remains in my throat.
721 What will you do? What shall I do?
722 Oh what a great catastrophe!
723 There can be nothing worse.
724 I feel pity for you and for them.
725
726 FIORDILIGI: Heavens! For mercy's sake, Signor Alfonso, don't make us
727 die.
728 DON ALFONSO: My children, you must arm yourselves with constancy.
729 DORABELLA: Ye Gods! What evil has occurred? What horrible event? Is my
730 love dead, perhaps?
731 FIORDILIGI: Is mine dead?
732 DON ALFONSO: They are not dead, but they are not far from it.
733 DORABELLA: Wounded?
734 DON ALFONSO: No.
735 FIORDILIGI: Ill?
736 DON ALFONSO: Nor that.
737 FIORDILIGI: What, then?
738 DON ALFONSO: A royal command summons them to the field of battle.
739 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA: Alas, what do I hear? And they will leave?
740 DON ALFONSO: Immediately.
741 DORABELLA: And there is no way of preventing it?
742 DON ALFONSO: There is none.
743 FIORDILIGI: And not even a single farewell...
744 DON ALFONSO: The unhappy men haven't the courage to see you; but if
745 you wish it, they are ready...
746 DORABELLA: Where are they?
747 DON ALFONSO: Come in, friends.
748
7684c8f0
RS
749=head2 v5.20.0 - William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
750
751L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215815.html>
752
753 But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
754 Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
755 Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
756 When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
757 So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
758 So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
759
f17f1150
RS
760=head2 v5.20.0-RC1 - Lindsey Buckingham, "Second Hand News"
761
762L<Announced on 2014-05-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215479.html>
763
764 When times go bad
765 when times go rough
766 Won't you lay me down in tall grass
767 And let me do my stuff
768
2ee7da68 769=head2 v5.19.11 - Isidore-Lucien Ducasse [as "Comte de Lautréamont"], trans. Paul Knight, "Les Chants de Maldoror"
50bb8485
SH
770
771L<Announced on 2014-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/04/msg214580.html>
772
773O rigorous mathematics, I have not forgotten you since your wise lessons,
774sweeter than honey, filtered into my heart like a refreshing wave.
775Instinctively, from the cradle, I had longed to drink from your source, older
776than the sun, and I continue to tread the sacred sanctuary of your solemn
777temple, I, the most faithful of your devotees. There was a vagueness in my
778mind, something thick as smoke; but I managed to mount the steps which lead to
779your altar, and you drove away this dark veil, as the wind blows the
780draught-board. You replaced it with excessive coldness, consummate prudence and
781implacable logic. With the aid of your fortifying milk, my intellect developed
782rapidly and took on immense proportions amid the ravishing lucidity which you
783bestow as a gift on all those who sincerely love you. Arithmetic! Algebra!
784Geometry! Awe-inspiring trinity! Luminous triangle! He who has not known you
785is a fool!
786
2ee7da68 787=head2 v5.19.10 - John Chadwick, "The Decipherment of Linear B"
9e616318
AC
788
789L<Announced on 2014-03-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/03/msg213851.html>
071a75f5
AC
790
791The urge to discover secrets is deeply ingrained in human nature; even
792the least curious mind is roused by the promise of sharing knowledge
793withheld from others. Some are fortunate enough to find a job which
794consists in the solution of mysteries, whether it be the physicist who
795tracks down a hitherto unknown nuclear particle or the policeman who
796detects a criminal. But most of us are driven to sublimate this urge
797by the solving of artificial puzzles devised for our entertainment.
798
2ee7da68 799=head2 v5.19.9 - R. A. MacAvoy, "Tea with the Black Dragon"
132664ae
TC
800
801L<Announced on 2014-02-20 by Tony Cook|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/02/msg213047.html>
802
803Old hands. The smell of rain--the smell of Ch'an. Quiet words in
804rough Cantonese. "I am not to be your master. Your master has to be
805stronger than you are--has to tell you you are a fool and make you
806know it. And make you feel content in being a fool. How could I do
807that for you? I'm old. You are too strong for me; you are full of
808chi." The old man has paused then, huddled against the wind while
809clouds thickened above them.
810
811"I will tell you this, Long," he continued, "Before you find yourself
812you will lose your chi. Also you will leave behind you all pride of
813body, pride of mind. You will be reduced. Like me." The old man
814closed his eyes, and rain began to beat against his gray, crew-cut
815hair. He pulled his coat closer. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and
816he looked Long in the face.
817
818"You must leave China. Go across the ocean. There you will meet your
819master." He set down his teacup with a palsied hand. His voice rose,
820grew fierce.
821
822"I tell you this, most honored and impressive visitor. You are a
823fool, yes, but you will find the very thing you seek. You will find
824truth!"
825
2ee7da68 826=head2 v5.19.8 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
d897adff
RS
827
828L<Announced on 2014-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211729.html>
829
830“I used to get a big kick out of saving people’s lives. Now I wonder what the
831hell’s the point, since they all have to die anyway.”
832
833“Oh, there’s a point, all right,” Dunbar assured him.
834
835“Is there? What is the point?”
836
837“The point is to keep them from dying for as long as you can.”
838
839“Yeah, but what’s the point, since they all have to die anyway?”
840
841“The trick is not to think about that.”
842
843“Never mind the trick. What the hell’s the point?”
844
845Dunbar pondered in silence for a few moments. “Who the hell knows?”
846
2cff31c9
A
847=head2 v5.19.7 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Slaughterhouse-Five"
848
849L<Announced on 2013-12-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/12/msg210882.html>
850
e91f1fc1
SH
851And somewhere in there was springtime. The corpse mines were closed
852down. The soldiers all left to fight the Russians. In the suburbs,
853the women and children dug rifle pits. Billy and the rest of his group
854were locked up in the stable in the suburbs. And then, one morning,
855they got up to discover that the door was unlocked. World War Two in
856Europe was over.
2cff31c9 857
e91f1fc1
SH
858Billy and the rest wandered out onto the shady street. The trees were
859leafing out. There was nothing going on out there, no traffic of any
860kind. There was only one vehicle, an abandoned wagon drawn by two
861horses. The wagon was green and coffin-shaped.
2cff31c9 862
e91f1fc1 863Birds were talking.
2cff31c9 864
e91f1fc1 865One bird said to Billy Pilgrim, "Pee-tee-weet?"
2cff31c9 866
5a3c3c58
CBW
867=head2 v5.19.6 - Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Spam"
868
869L<Announced on 2013-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/11/msg210043.html>
870
4ed12d4a
SH
871 Interior: cheap cafe. All the customers are Vikings. Mr and Mrs Bun enter downwards (on wires).
872
873 Mr. Bun: Morning.
874 Waitress: Morning.
875 Mr. Bun: What have you got, then?
876 Waitress: Well there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam;
877 egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam;
878 spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam;
879 or lobster thermidor aux crevettes, with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried
880 egg on top and spam
881 Mrs. Bun: Have you got anything without spam in it?
882 Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got MUCH spam in it.
883 Mrs. Bun: I don't want ANY spam.
884 Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
885 Mrs. Bun: That's got spam in it!
886 Mr. Bun: Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
887 Mrs. Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage, without the spam.
888 Waitress: Uuuuuuggggh!
889 Mrs. Bun: What d'you mean, uugggh! I don't like spam.
890 Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
891
892 (Brief shot of a Viking ship)
893
894 Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
895 Mrs. Bun: Why not?
896 Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it?
897 Mrs. Bun: I don't like spam!
5a3c3c58 898
40e1c3e8 899=head2 v5.19.5 - Charles Baudelaire, trans. James McGowan, "The Flowers of Evil", 51. The Cat
4d764166
SH
900
901L<Announced on 2013-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/10/msg208752.html>
902
4d764166
SH
903 I
904
905 A cat is strolling through my mind
906 Acting as though he owned the place,
907 A lovely cat -- strong, charming, sweet.
908 When he meows, one scarcely hears,
909
910 So tender and discreet his tone;
911 But whether he should growl or purr
912 His voice is always rich and deep.
913 That is the secret of his charm.
914
915 This purling voice that filters down
916 Into my darkest depths of soul
917 Fulfils me like a balanced verse,
918 Delights me as a potion would.
919
920 It puts to sleep the cruellest ills
921 And keeps a rein on ecstasies --
922 Without the need for any words
923 It can pronounce the longest phrase.
924
925 Oh no, there is no bow that draws
926 Across my heart, fine instrument,
927 And makes to sing so royally
928 The strongest and the purest chord,
929
930 More than your voice, mysterious cat,
931 Exotic cat, seraphic cat,
932 In whom all is, angelically,
933 As subtle as harmonious.
934
935 II
936
937 From his soft fur, golden and brown,
938 Goes out so sweet a scent, one night
939 I might have been embalmed in it
940 By giving him one little pet.
941
942 He is my household's guardian soul;
943 He judges, he presides, inspires
944 All matters in hos royal realm;
945 Might he be fairy? or a god?
946
947 When my eyes, to this cat I love
948 Drawn as by a magnet's force,
949 Turn tamely back from that appeal,
950 And when I look within myself,
951
952 I notice with astonishment
953 The fire of his opal eyes,
954 Clear beacons glowing, living jewels,
955 Taking my measure, steadily.
956
ce520fa6
SH
957=head2 v5.19.4 - Washington Irving, "The Widow and Her Son"
958
959L<Announced on 2013-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/09/msg207969.html>
960
ce520fa6
SH
961There is something in sickness that breaks down the pride of manhood;
962that softens the heart and brings it back to the feelings of infancy.
963Who that has languished, even in advanced life, in sickness and
964despondency — who that has pined on a weary bed in the neglect and
965loneliness of a foreign land — but has thought on the mother "that
966looked on his childhood," that smoothed his pillow and administered to
967his helplessness. — Oh! there is an enduring tenderness in the love
968of a mother to her son that transcends all other affections of the
969heart. It is neither to be chilled by selfishness — nor daunted by
970danger — nor weakened by worthlessness — nor stifled by ingratitude.
971She will sacrifice every comfort to his convenience — she will
972surrender every pleasure to his enjoyment — she will glory in his fame
973and exult in his prosperity. And if misfortune overtake him he will
974be the dearer to her from misfortune — and if disgrace settle upon his
975name, she will still love and cherish him in spite of his disgrace —
976and if all the world beside cast him off, she will be all the world to
977him.
978
9a701c04
SH
979=head2 v5.19.3 - Andrew Hodges, "Alan Turing: The Enigma"
980
981L<Announced on 2013-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg206318.html>
982
9a701c04
SH
983E.M. Forster, outdoing the King's heresy with grand bravura, had
984written in 1938 that if he were faced with the choice between
985betraying his country and betraying his friends, he hoped he would
986have the courage to betray his country. He would always put the
987personal above the political. But for Alan Turing, unlike Forster, or
988Wittgenstein, or G.H. Hardy, it was more than a theoretical question.
989For him not only had the personal become the political, but the
990political was the personal. He had chosen and promised for himself in
991working for the government. The choice for him therefore was that
992between betraying one part of himself and betraying another part. And
993however much he wavered between these alternatives, there was a solid
994logic to the mind of security, one that could not be expected to take
995an interest in notions of freedom and development. He had no rights
996to such things, as he would have had to admit. He might have
997outwitted the Home Guard, but when it came to questions that mattered,
998there was no doubt that he had placed himself under military law.
999There was a war on; there was always a war on now.
1000
0b0ed28b
AP
1001=head2 v5.19.2 - Fred Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month"
1002
1003L<Announced on 2013-07-22 by Aristotle Pagaltzis|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/07/msg204905.html>
1004
c2a00619
KW
1005The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the
1006correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life,
1007showing things that never were nor could be. [...] Not all is delight,
1008however [...] One must perform perfectly. The computer resembles the
1009magic of legend in this respect, too. If one character, one pause, of
1010the incantation is not strictly in proper form, the magic doesn't work.
1011
549a11ea
DG
1012=head2 v5.19.1 - William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
1013
703078b2 1014L<Announced on 2013-06-21 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/06/msg203449.html>
549a11ea
DG
1015
1016 Over hill, over dale,
1017 Thorough bush, thorough briar,
1018 Over park, over pale,
1019 Thorough flood, thorough fire,
1020 I do wander everywhere,
1021 Swifter than the moon's sphere;
1022 And I serve the fairy queen,
1023 To dew her orbs upon the green.
1024 The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
1025 In their gold coats, spots you see;
1026 Those be rubies, fairy favours,
1027 In their freckles live our savours.
1028 I must go seek some dew-drops here,
1029 And hang a perl in every cowslip's ear.
1030 Farewell, thou lob of spirits, I'll be gone;
1031 My queen and all her elves come here anon!
1032
5f42d1f2 1033=head2 v5.19.0 - Batman, of the Joker, in "The Dark Knight Returns"
549a11ea
DG
1034
1035L<Announced on 2013-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201980.html>
1036
1037 From the beginning, I knew…
1038 …that there was nothing wrong with you…
1039 …that I can't fix…
1040 …with my hands…
1041
40e1c3e8 1042=head2 v5.18.4 - Robert W. Chambers, Cassilda's Song in "The King in Yellow," Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1
RS
1043
1044L<Announced on 2014-10-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg220770.html>
1045
1046 Along the shore the cloud waves break,
1047 The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
1048 The shadows lengthen
1049 In Carcosa.
1050
1051 Strange is the night where black stars rise,
1052 And strange moons circle through the skies
1053 But stranger still is
1054 Lost Carcosa.
1055
1056 Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
1057 Where flap the tatters of the King,
1058 Must die unheard in
1059 Dim Carcosa.
1060
1061 Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
1062 Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
1063 Shall dry and die in
1064 Lost Carcosa.
1065
8bbce0b1
RS
1066=head2 v5.18.3 - (no epigraph)
1067
1068(no epigraph)
1069
40e1c3e8 1070=head2 v5.18.3-RC2 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 1071
dd047fac 1072L<Announced on 2014-09-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220613.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
1073
1074"Ah! I see it now!" I shrieked. "You have seized the throne and the
1075empire. Woe! woe to you who are crowned with the crown of the King in
1076Yellow!"
1077
40e1c3e8 1078=head2 v5.18.3-RC1 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 1079
dd047fac 1080L<Announced on 2014-09-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220072.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
1081
1082 CAMILLA: You, sir, should unmask.
1083
1084 STRANGER: Indeed?
1085
1086 CASSILDA: Indeed it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.
1087
1088 STRANGER: I wear no mask.
1089
1090 CAMILLA: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask!
1091
6d0eb662
RS
1092=head2 v5.18.2 - Miss Manners
1093
1094L<Announced on 2014-01-06 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211224.html>
1095
1096One of the major mistakes people make is that they think manners are
1097only the expression of happy ideas. There's a whole range of behavior
1098that can be expressed in a mannerly way. That's what civilization is all
1099about – doing it in a mannerly and not an antagonistic way. One of the
1100places we went wrong was the naturalistic Rousseauean movement of the
1101Sixties in which people said, "Why can't you just say what's on your
1102mind?" In civilization there have to be some restraints. If we followed
1103every impulse, we'd be killing one another.
1104
80963870
RS
1105=head2 v5.18.1 - Chuck Moore
1106
1107L<Announced on 2013-08-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205897.html>
1108
1109The operating system is another concept that is curious. Operating
1110systems are dauntingly complex and totally unnecessary. It’s a brilliant
1111thing that Bill Gates has done in selling the world on the notion of
1112operating systems. It’s probably the greatest con game the world has
1113ever seen.
1114
1115An operating system does absolutely nothing for you. As long as you had
1116something — a subroutine called disk driver, a subroutine called some
1117kind of communication support, in the modern world, it doesn’t do
1118anything else. In fact, Windows spends a lot of time with overlays and
1119disk management all stuff like that which are irrelevant. You’ve got
1120gigabyte disks; you’ve got megabyte RAMs. The world has changed in a way
1121that renders the operating system unnecessary.
1122
1123=head2 v5.18.1-RC1 - Chuck Moore
1124
1125L<Announced on 2013-08-02 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205445.html>
1126
1127Compilers are probably the worst code ever written. They are written by
1128someone who has never written a compiler before and will never do so
1129again. The more elaborate the language, the more complex, bug-ridden,
1130and unusable is the compiler. But a simple compiler for a simple
1131language is an essential tool—if only for documentation.
1132
4e720792
RS
1133=head2 v5.18.0 - Yevgeny Zamyatin
1134
1135L<Announced on 2013-05-18 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201940.html>
1136
1137It is an error to divide people into the living and the dead: there are people
1138who are dead-alive, and people who are alive-alive. The dead-alive also write,
1139walk, speak, act. But they make no mistakes; only machines make no mistakes,
1140and they produce only dead things. The alive-alive are constantly in error, in
1141search, in questions, in torment.
1142
2ee7da68 1143=head2 v5.18.0-RC4 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
4e720792 1144
dd047fac 1145L<Announced on 2013-05-16 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201889.html>
4e720792
RS
1146
1147Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
1148
1149=head2 v5.18.0-RC3 - Tom Waits, "The Ocean Doesn't Want Me"
1150
dd047fac 1151L<Announced on 2013-05-14 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201823.html>
4e720792
RS
1152
1153 I'd love to go drowning
1154 And to stay and to stay
1155 But the ocean doesn't want me today
1156 I'll go in up to here
1157 It can't possibly hurt
1158 All they will find is my beer
1159 And my shirt
1160
1161=head2 v5.18.0-RC2 - Tom Waits, "Earth Died Screaming"
1162
1163L<Announced on 2013-05-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201723.html>
1164
1165 And the great day of wrath has come
1166 And here's mud in your big red eye
1167 The poker's in the fire
1168 And the locusts take the sky
1169 And the earth died screaming
1170 While I lay dreaming of you
1171
1172=head2 v5.18.0-RC1 - Tom Waits, "What's He Building in There?"
1173
1174L<Announced on 2013-05-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201651.html>
1175
1176 What's he building in there?
1177
1178 We have a right to know…
1179
2ee7da68 1180=head2 v5.17.11 - Nigel Tufnel in "This is Spın̈al Tap"
4e720792
RS
1181
1182L<Announced on 2013-04-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/04/msg201056.html>
1183
1184It's very special because, if you can see, the numbers all go to…
1185eleven! Look, right across the board: eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven!
1186
2ee7da68 1187=head2 v5.17.10 - Vernor Vinge, "A Fire Upon The Deep"
7707f065 1188
f3d08688 1189L<Announced on 2013-03-23 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200504.html>
7707f065
MM
1190
1191The archive informed the automation. Data structures were built, recipes
1192followed. A local network was built, faster than anything on Straum, but surely
1193safe. Nodes were added, modified by other recipes. The archive was a friendly
1194place, with hierarchies of translation keys that led them along. Straum itself
1195would be famous for this.
1196
1197Six months passed. A year.
1198
72f869fd 1199The omniscient view. Not self-aware really. Self-awareness is much over-rated.
7707f065 1200Most automation works far better as a part of a whole, and even if human-
72f869fd 1201powerful, it does not need to self-know.
7707f065 1202
2ee7da68 1203=head2 v5.17.9 - Douglas Adams, "The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy"
fed67cf1 1204
f3d08688 1205L<Announced on 2013-02-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/02/msg199115.html>
fed67cf1
CBW
1206
1207Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
1208The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a
1209recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of
1210his poem 'Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My
1211Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died
1212of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the
1213Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one
1214of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been
1215'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to
1216embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled
1217'My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine,
1218in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation,
1219leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
1220
1221The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator
1222Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England,
1223in the destruction of the planet Earth.
1224
2ee7da68 1225=head2 v5.17.8 - Iain Pears, "An Instance of the Fingerpost"
2eea07f2 1226
f3d08688 1227L<Announced on 2013-01-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/01/msg197571.html>
2eea07f2
AC
1228
1229I must here declare myself as someone who does not for a moment subscribe to
1230the general view that a willingness to perform oneself is detrimental to the
1231dignity of experimental philosophy. There is, after all, a clear distinction
1232between labour carried out for financial reward, and that done for the
1233improvement of mankind: to put it another way, Lower as a philosopher was
1234fully my equal even if he fell away when he became the practising physician.
1235I think ridiculous of certain professors of anatomy, who find it beneath
1236them to pick up the knife themselves, but merely comment while hired hands
1237do the cutting. Sylvius would never have dreamt of sitting on a dais reading
b86ac955 1238from an authority while others cut — when he taught, the knife was
2eea07f2
AC
1239in his hand and the blood spattered his coat. Boyle also did not scruple to
1240perform his own experiments and, on one occasion in my presence, even showed
1241himself willing to anatomise a rat with his very own hands. Nor was he less
1242a gentleman when he had finished. Indeed, in my opinion, his stature was all
1243the greater, for in Boyle wealth, humility and curiosity mingled, and the
1244world is richer for it.
1245
2ee7da68 1246=head2 v5.17.7 - R. Scott Bakker, "The Darkness That Comes Before"
c2a10b9c 1247
f3d08688 1248L<Announced on 2012-12-18 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/12/msg196707.html>
c2a10b9c
DR
1249
1250No thought.
4ed12d4a
SH
1251
1252The boy extinguished. Only a place.
1253
1254This place.
1255
1256Motionless, the Pragma sat facing him, the bare soles of his feet flat against each other, his dark frock scored by the shadows of deep folds, his eyes as empty as the child they watched.
1257
1258A place without breath or sound. A place of sight alone. A place without before or after . . . almost.
1259
1260For the first lances of sunlight careered over the glacier, as ponderous as great tree limbs in the wind. Shadows hardened and light gleamed across the Pragma’s ancient skull.
1261
1262The old man’s left hand forsook his right sleeve, bearing a watery knife. And like a rope in water, his arm pitched outward, fingertips trailing across the blade as the knife swung languidly into the air, the sun skating and the dark shrine plunging across its mirror back . . .
1263
1264And the place where Kellhus had once existed extended an open hand—the blond hairs like luminous filaments against tanned skin—and grasped the knife from stunned space.
1265
1266The slap of pommel against palm triggered the collapse of place into little boy. The pale stench of his body. Breath, sound, and lurching thoughts.
1267
1268I have been legion . . .
1269
1270In his periphery, he could see the spike of the sun ease from the mountain. He felt drunk with exhaustion. In the recoil of his trance, it seemed all he could hear were the twigs arching and bobbing in the wind, pulled by leaves like a million sails no bigger than his hand. Cause everywhere, but amid countless minute happenings—diffuse, useless.
1271
1272Now I understand.
c2a10b9c 1273
2ee7da68 1274=head2 v5.17.6 - Kurt Vonnegut, "The Sirens of Titan"
1443de07 1275
f3d08688 1276L<Announced on 2012-11-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195659.html>
1443de07
RS
1277
1278Beatrice, looking like a gypsy queen, smoldered at the foot of a statue
1279of a young physical student. At first glance, the laboratory-gowned
1280scientist seemed to be a perfect servant of nothing but truth. At first
1281glance, one was convinced that nothing but truth could please him as he
1282beamed at his test tube. At first glance, one thought that he was as
1283much above the beastly concerns of mankind as the harmoniums in the
1284caves of Mercury. There, at first glance, was a young man without
1285vanity, without lust — and one accepted at its face value the title Salo
1286had engraved on the statue, "Discovery of Atomic Power."
1287
6720b7ff
FR
1288=head2 v5.17.5 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
1289
f3d08688 1290L<Announced on 2012-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194349.html>
6720b7ff
FR
1291
1292Neither of them noticed the pair of polka-dotted knickers hiding
1293behind the ventilation duct overhead, listening patiently and
1294recording everything.
1295
e6a2c28f
FR
1296=head2 v5.17.4 - Roald Dahl, "Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf"
1297
f3d08688 1298L<Announced on 2012-09-19 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/09/msg192635.html>
e6a2c28f 1299
5814c912
RS
1300 The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
1301 She whips a pistol from her knickers.
1302 She aims it at the creature's head,
1303 And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
e6a2c28f 1304
5814c912
RS
1305 A few weeks later, in the wood,
1306 I came across Miss Riding Hood.
1307 But what a change! No cloak of red,
1308 No silly hood upon her head.
1309 She said, "Hello, and do please note
1310 My lovely furry wolfskin coat."
e6a2c28f 1311
4079ea87
SH
1312=head2 v5.17.3 - Kris Ta-belle, "Smoked Perl Onion Soup"
1313
1314L<Announced on 2012-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190775.html>
1315
1316Preparation:
1317
1318Cut 16 Perl Onions into quarters and put them in a grill smoker rack
1319or a perforated pan over a BBQ using hickory wood chips or Special
1320Blend Smoker Bisquettes. Smoke them for an hour and remove once they
1321look golden brown.
1322Let them cool and put them in the fridge (or freezer) until you are
1323ready to create the soup.
1324
1325Ingredients:
1326
5814c912
RS
1327 16 diced, pre-smoked, Perl Onions
1328 3 tbsp butter
1329 1/4 cup olive oil
1330 2 small garlic cloves, finely minced
1331 1 tsp salt
1332 1 tsp sugar
1333 black pepper to taste
1334 1 cup red wine
1335 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1336 6 cups of beef or vegetable stock
1337 1 cup of thick cream (milk can be used as a substitute)
4079ea87
SH
1338
1339Method:
1340
5814c912
RS
1341 Melt the butter in a pan and then add olive oil.
1342 Heat and add the onions to caramelize over a medium-high heat for up
1343 to half an hour.
1344 Add the garlic, turn down the heat and cook for a further 5 minutes.
1345 Add the salt, pepper and sugar.
1346 Now add the red wine and reduce to a jam like consistency.
1347 Add the flour, stir well and add the stock a cup at a time.
1348 Simmer for 30 minutes, add the cream and heat to almost boiling.
4079ea87
SH
1349
1350Enjoy.
1351
d7846122
TC
1352=head2 v5.17.2 - Terry Pratchet, "The Colour of Magic"
1353
3d76f962 1354L<Announced on 2012-07-21 by TonyC|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/07/msg189828.html>
d7846122
TC
1355
1356‘I knew it,’ said Rincewind. ‘We're in a strong magical field.’
1357
1358Twoflower and Hrun looked around the little hollow where they had made
1359their noonday halt. Then they looked at each other.
1360
1361The horses were quietly cropping the rich grass by the stream. Yellow
1362butterflies skittered among the bushes. There was a smell of thyme
1363and a buzzing of bees. The wild pigs on the spit sizzled gently.
1364
1365Hrun shrugged and went back to oiling his biceps. They gleamed.
1366
1367‘Looks alright to me,’ he said.
1368
1369‘Try tossing a coin,’ said Rincewind.
1370
1371‘What?’
1372
1373‘Go on. Toss a coin.’
1374
1375‘Hokay,’ said Hrun. 'If that gives you any pleasure.’ He reached into
1376his pouch and withdrew a handful of loose change plundered from a
1377dozen realms. With some care he selected a Zchloty leaden
1378quarter-iotum and balanced it on a purple thumbnail.
1379
1380‘You call,’ he said. ‘Heads or—’ he inspected the obverse with
1381an air of intense concentration, ‘some sort of a fish with legs.’
1382
1383‘When it's in the air,’ said Rincewind. Hrun grinned and flicked his thumb.
1384
1385The iotum rose, spinning.
1386
1387‘Edge,’ said Rincewind, without looking at it.
1388
322e634c
JL
1389=head2 v5.17.1 - Rand Miller, "Myst: The Book of Ti'ana"
1390
1391L<Announced on 2012-06-20 by doy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/06/msg188354.html>
1392
1393On their return from Ko'ah, Aitrus had shown her the Book, patiently
1394taking her through page after page, and showing her how such an Age was
1395"made." She had seen at once the differences between this archaic form
1396and the ordinary written speech of the D'ni, noting how it was not
1397merely more elaborate but more specific: a language of precise yet
1398subtle descriptive power. Yet seeing was one thing, believing another.
1399Given all the evidence, her rational mind still fought against accepting
1400it.
1401
dd15390c
Z
1402=head2 v5.17.0 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
1403
f51b9d59 1404L<Announced on 2012-05-26 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg187214.html>
dd15390c
Z
1405
1406`Welcome, comrades!' Burya opened his arms toward the soldier.
1407`Yes it is true! With help from our allies of the Festival, the iron
1408hand of the reactionary junta is about to be overthrown for all time!
1409The new economy is being born; the marginal cost of production has
1410been abolished, and from now on, if any item is produced once, it can
1411be replicated infinitely. From each according to his imagination,
1412to each according to his needs! Join us or better still, bring your
1413fellow soldiers and workers to join us!'
1414
1415There was a sharp bang from the roof of the Corn Exchange, right at the
1416climax of his impromptu speech; heads turned in alarm. Something had
1417broken inside the spork factory and a stream of rainbow-hued plastic
1418implements fountained toward the sky and clattered to the cobblestones
1419on every side, like a harbinger of the postindustrial society to come.
1420Workers and peasants alike stared in open-mouthed bewilderment at this
1421astounding display of productivity, then bent to scrabble in the muck
1422for the brightly colored sporks of revolution. A volley of shots rang
1423out and Burya Rubenstein raised his hands, grinning wildly, to accept
1424the salute of the soldiers from the Skull Hill garrison.
1425
c682aa67
SH
1426=head2 v5.16.3 - Devo, "Freedom of Choice"
1427
1428L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200009.html>
1429
1430 A victim of collision on the open sea
1431 Nobody ever said that life was free
1432 Sink, swim, go down with the ship
1433 But use your freedom of choice
1434
1435=head2 v5.16.2 - Stanislaw Lem, "The Cyberiad", Trurl's Machine
1436
1437L<Announced on 2012-11-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg194915.html>
1438
1439Once upon a time Trurl the constructor built an eight-story thinking
1440machine. When it was finished, he gave it a coat of white paint,
1441trimmed the edges in lavender, stepped back, squinted, then added a
1442little curlicue on the front and, where one might imagine the forehead
1443to be, a few pale orange polkadots. Extremely pleased with himself,
1444he whistled an air and, as is always done on such occasions, asked it
1445the ritual question of how much is two plus two.
1446
1447The machine stirred. Its tubes began to glow, its coils warmed up,
1448current coursed through all its circuits like a waterfall,
1449transformers hummed and throbbed, there was a clanging, and a
1450chugging, and such an ungodly racket that Trurl began to think of
1451adding a special mentation muffler. Meanwhile the machine labored on,
1452as if it had been given the most difficult problem in the Universe to
1453solve; the ground shook, the sand slid underfoot from the vibration,
1454valves popped like champagne corks, the relays nearly gave way under
1455the strain. At last, when Trurl had grown extremely impatient, the
1456machine ground to a halt and said in a voice like thunder: SEVEN!
1457
2ee7da68 1458=head2 v5.16.1 - Emerald Rose, "Never Split The Party"
a210cc89 1459
6dab83b1 1460L<Announced on 2012-08-08 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190413.html>
a210cc89
RS
1461
1462 Don't you know? You never split the party
1463 Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty
1464 The wizard in the middle, where he can shed some light
1465 And you never let that damn thief out of sight…
1466
c33412d7 1467=head2 v5.16.1-RC1 - Tom Moldvay, Foreward to the "Dungeons & Dragons Basic Rulebook"
a210cc89 1468
6dab83b1 1469L<Announced on 2012-08-03 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190264.html>
a210cc89
RS
1470
1471I was busy rescuing the captured maiden when the dragon showed up.
1472Fifty feed of scaled terror glared down at us with smoldering red eyes.
1473Tendrils of smoke drifted out from between fangs larger than daggers.
1474The dragon blocked the only exit from the cave.
1475
1476
1477
1478I unwrapped the sword which the mysterious cleric had given me. The
1479sword was golden-tinted steel. Its hilt was set with a rainbow
1480collection of precious gems. I shouted my battle cry and charged
1481
1482My charge caught the dragon by surprise. Its titanic jaws snapped shut
1483inches from my face. I swung the golden sword with both arms. The
1484swordblade bit into the dragon's neck and continued through to the other
1485side. With an earth-shaking crash, the dragon dropped dead at my feet.
1486The magic sword had saved my life and ended the reign of the
1487dragon-tyrant. The countryside was freed and I could return as a hero.
1488
2ee7da68 1489=head2 v5.16.0 - W.H. Auden, "September 1, 1939"
4c4c16b2 1490
6dab83b1 1491L<Announced on 2012-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg186903.html>
4c4c16b2 1492
a210cc89
RS
1493 All I have is a voice
1494 To undo the folded lie,
1495 The romantic lie in the brain
1496 Of the sensual man-in-the-street
1497 And the lie of Authority
1498 Whose buildings grope the sky:
1499 There is no such thing as the State
1500 And no one exists alone;
1501 Hunger allows no choice
1502 To the citizen or the police;
1503 We must love one another or die.
1504
2ee7da68 1505=head2 v5.15.9 - Bob Dylan, "Blowin' In The Wind"
54fdd2d6 1506
6dab83b1 1507L<Announced on 2012-03-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/03/msg184824.html>
a97faa3d 1508
4ed12d4a
SH
1509 How many roads must a man walk down
1510 Before you call him a man?
1511 Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
1512 Before she sleeps in the sand?
1513 Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannonballs fly
1514 Before they're forever banned?
1515 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1516 The answer is blowin' in the wind
1517
1518 How many years can a mountain exist
1519 Before it's washed to the sea?
1520 Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
1521 Before they're allowed to be free?
1522 Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
1523 Pretending he just doesn't see?
1524 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1525 The answer is blowin' in the wind
1526
1527 How many times must a man look up
1528 Before he can see the sky?
1529 Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
1530 Before he can hear people cry?
1531 Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
1532 That too many people have died?
1533 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1534 The answer is blowin' in the wind
54fdd2d6 1535
2ee7da68 1536=head2 v5.15.8 - The KLF, "The Manual-How To Have A Number One The Easy Way"
1f9d7ff5 1537
6dab83b1 1538L<Announced on 2012-02-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/02/msg183919.html>
1f9d7ff5
MM
1539
1540 "Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
1541 Doctor Who, in the Tardis
1542 Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
1543 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who
1544 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who"
1545
1546Gibberish of course, but every lad in the country under a certain
1547age related instinctively to what it was about. The ones slightly
1548older needed a couple of pints inside them to clear away the mind
1549debris left by the passing years before it made sense. As for
1550girls and our chorus, we think they must have seen it as pure crap.
1551A fact that must have limited to zero our chances of staying at The
1552Top for more than one week.
1553
1554Stock, Aitkin and Waterman, however, are kings of writing chorus
1555lyrics that go straight to the emotional heart of the 7" single
1556buying girls in this country. Their most successful records will kick
1557into the chorus with a line which encapsulates the entire emotional
1558meaning of the song. This will obviously be used as the title. As
1559soon as Rick Astley hit the first line of the chorus on his debut
1560single it was all over - the Number One position was guaranteed:
1561
1562 "I'm never going to give you up"
1563
2ee7da68 1564=head2 v5.15.7 - Penelope Lively, "The Voyage of QV66"
cf6bc744 1565
6dab83b1 1566L<Announced on 2012-01-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/01/msg182230.html>
cf6bc744
CBW
1567
1568"Laboratories," announced Henry. "Kindly don't touch anything."
1569
1570He led us into a long low brick shed. Outside there was a
1571notice on a piece of board, crudely printed in red paint,
1572which said GRATE SIENCE DISCOVERYS DONE HERE SSSH! BRING YOUR
1573OWN BUKKIT NO PINCHING ANYWUN ELSE'S EXPERRYMENTS CANTEEN OPEN
1574ALL DAY CHIMPS ONLY.
1575
1576There were a lot of large black monkeys inside, all intently
1577busy on what they were doing. Some of them were pouring stuff
1578out of bottles into buckets and carefully stirring the ensuing
1579mixture; others were at work with glass tubes and jars, blowing
1580and measuring and mixing; others were crouched over long benches
1581with tools and heaps of bits and pieces of metal, cutting and
1582bending and constructing. There was a great deal of noise and
1583chatter. Every now and then one of them would give a whoop of
1584excitement and all the others would gather round and jump up and
1585down cheering and applauding.
1586
1587"Chimps," said Henry. "They're awfully clever."
1588
2ee7da68 1589=head2 v5.15.6 - Ursula K. Leguin, "A Wizard of Earthsea"
b0d358f0 1590
6dab83b1 1591L<Announced on 2011-12-20 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/12/msg180962.html>
b0d358f0
DR
1592
1593Ged had thought that as the prentice of a great mage he would enter at once
1594into the mystery and mastery of power. He would understand the language of the
1595beasts and the speech of the leaves of the forest, he thought, and sway the
1596winds with his word, and learn to change himself into any shape he
1597wished. Maybe he and his master would run together as stags, or fly to Re Albi
1598over the mountain on the wings of eagles.
1599
1600But it was not so at all. They wandered, first down into the Vale and then
1601gradually south and westward around the mountain, given lodging in little
1602villages or spending the night out in the wilderness, like poor
1603journeyman-sorcerers, or tinkers, or beggars. They entered no mysterious
1604domain. Nothing happened. The mage's oaken staff that Ged had watched at first
1605with eager dread was nothing but a stout staff to walk with. Three days went
1606by and four days went by and still Ogion had not spoken a single charm in
1607Ged's hearing, and had not taught him a single name or rune or spell.
1608
2ee7da68 1609=head2 v5.15.5 - Nikolai Gogol, trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, "The Diary of a Madman"
d0fc7727 1610
6dab83b1 1611L<Announced on 2011-11-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/11/msg179588.html>
d0fc7727
SH
1612
1613This day - is a day of the greatest solemnity! Spain has a king. He has
1614been found. I am that king. Only this very day did I learn of it. I
1615confess, it came to me suddenly in a flash of lightning. I don't understand
1616how I could have thought and imagined that I was a titular councillor. How
1617could such a wild notion enter my head? It's a good thing no one thought of
1618putting me in an insane asylum. Now everything is laid open before me. Now
1619I see everything as on the palm of my hand. And before, I don't understand,
1620before everything around me was in some sort of fog. And all this happens, I
1621think, because people imagine that the human brain is in the head. Not at
1622all: it is brought by a wind from the direction of the Caspian Sea. First
1623off, I announced to Mavra who I am. When she heard that the king of Spain
1624was standing before her, she clasped her hands and nearly died of fright.
1625The stupid woman had never seen a king of Spain before. However, I
1626endeavoured to calm her down and assured her in gracious words of my
1627benevolence and that I was not at all angry that she sometimes polished my
1628boots poorly. They're benighted folk. It's impossible to tell them about
1629lofty matters. She got frightened because she's convinced that all kings of
1630Spain are like Philip II. But I explained to her that there was no
1631resemblance between me and Philip II, and that I didn't have a single
1632Capuchin . . . I didn't go to the office . . . To hell with it! No friends,
1633you won't lure me there now; I'm not going to copy your vile papers!
1634
1542e678
FR
1635=head2 v5.15.4 - Steve Jobs
1636
6dab83b1 1637L<Announced on 2011-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/10/msg178412.html>
1542e678
FR
1638
1639A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they
1640don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions
1641without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of
1642the human experience, the better design we will have.
1643
2ee7da68 1644=head2 v5.15.3 - Oscar Wilde, From the preface to "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
607b15aa 1645
6dab83b1 1646L<Announced on 2011-09-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177427.html>
ca420de3 1647
4ed12d4a
SH
1648All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath
1649the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol
1650do so at their peril.
607b15aa 1651
4ed12d4a
SH
1652It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
1653Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the
1654work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the
1655artist is in accord with himself.
607b15aa 1656
4ed12d4a
SH
1657We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as
1658he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless
1659thing is that one admires it intensely.
607b15aa 1660
4ed12d4a 1661All art is quite useless.
607b15aa 1662
2ee7da68 1663=head2 v5.15.2 - Rainer Maria Rilke, trans., C. F. MacIntyre, "Duino", The First Elegy
bfb65171 1664
6dab83b1 1665L<Announced on 2011-08-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/08/msg176067.html>
bfb65171 1666
5814c912
RS
1667 True, it is strange to live no more on earth,
1668 no longer follow the folkways scarecely learned;
1669 not to give roses and other especially auspicious
1670 things the significance of a human future;
1671 to be no more what one was in infinitely anxious hands,
1672 and to put aside even one's name, like a broken plaything.
1673 Strange, to wish wishes no longer. Strange, to see
1674 all that was related fluttering so loosely in space.
1675 And being dead is hard, full of catching-up,
1676 so that finally one feels a little eternity.–
1677 But the living all make the mistake of too sharp discrimination.
1678 Often angels (it's said) don't know if they move
1679 among the quick or the dead. The eternal current
1680 hurtles all ages along with it forever
1681 through both realms and drowns their voices in both.
bfb65171 1682
1889cb12
Z
1683=head2 v5.15.1 - Greg Egan, "Permutation City"
1684
2ccefb8a 1685L<Announced on 2011-07-20 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/07/msg175014.html>
1889cb12
Z
1686
1687Carter held out a hand towards the middle of the room. `See that
1688fountain?' A ten-metre-wide marble wedding cake, topped with a
1689winged cherub wrestling a serpent, duly appeared. Water cascaded
1690down from a gushing wound in the cherub's neck. Carter said, `It's
1691being computed by redundancies in the sketch of the city. I can
1692extract the results, because I know exactly where to look for them --
1693but nobody else would have a hope in hell of picking them out.'
1694
1695Peer walked up to the fountain. Even as he approached, he noticed
1696that the spray was intangible; when he dipped his hand in the water
1697around the base he felt nothing, and the motion he made with his
1698fingers left the foaming surface unchanged. They were spying on
1699the calculations, not interacting with them; the fountain was a
1700closed system.
1701
1702Carter said, `In your case, of course, nobody will need to know
1703the results. Except you -- and you'll know them because you'll
1704/be/ them.'
1705
452ead5e
DG
1706=head2 v5.15.0 - Neil Gaiman, "The Graveyard Book"
1707
1708L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173748.html>
1709
4ed12d4a 1710If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.
452ead5e 1711
c682aa67 1712=head2 v5.14.4 - Arthur C. Clarke, "The Nine Billion Names of God"
b3c5102d 1713
c682aa67 1714L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg199988.html>
b3c5102d 1715
c682aa67
SH
1716He began to sing, but gave it up after a while. This vast arena of
1717mountains, gleaming like whitely hooded ghosts on every side, did not
1718encourage such ebullience. Presently George glanced at his watch.
1719
1720'Should be there in an hour,' he called back over his shoulder to
1721Chuck. Then he added, in an afterthought: 'Wonder if the computer's
1722finished its run. It was due about now.'
1723
1724Chuck didn't reply, so George swung round in his saddle. He could just
1725see Chuck's face, a white oval turned towards the sky.
1726
1727'Look,' whispered Chuck, and George lifted his eyes to heaven. (There
1728is always a last time for everything.)
1729
1730Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.
1731
1732=head2 v5.14.3 - William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
1733
1734L<Announced on 2012-10-12 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194057.html>
1735
1736 The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all
1737 this time there was not any man died in his own person,
1738 videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed
1739 out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die
1740 before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he
1741 would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned
1742 nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good
1743 youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and
1744 being taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish
1745 coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.' But these
1746 are all lies: men have died from time to time and worms have
1747 eaten them, but not for love.
1748
1749=head2 v5.14.2 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
1750
1751L<Announced on 2011-09-26 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177618.html>
1752
1753It's not so much that people don't value the programs after they have them--they
1754do value them. But they're not the sort of thing that would ever catch on if
1755they had to overcome the marketing barrier. (I don't yet know if perl will
1756catch on at all--I'm worried enough about it that I specifically included an
1757awk-to-perl translator just to help it catch on.) Maybe it's all just an
1758inferiority complex. Or maybe I don't like to be mercenary.
1759
1760So I guess I'd say that the reason some software comes free is that the
1761mechanism for selling it is missing, either from the work environment, or from
1762the heart of the programmer.
b3c5102d 1763
c684cf36 1764=head2 v5.14.1 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
901b3fdb
LB
1765
1766L<Announced on 2011-06-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173650.html>
1767
1768At this point I'm no longer working for a company that makes me sign
1769my life away, but by now I'm in the habit. Besides, I still harbor
1770the deep-down suspicion that nobody would pay money for what I write,
1771since most of it just helps you do something better that you could
1772already do some other way. How much money would you personally pay
1773to upgrade from readnews to rn? How much money would you pay for
1774the patch program? As for warp, it's a mere game. And anything you
1775can do with perl you can eventually do with an amazing and totally
1776unreadable conglomeration of awk, sed, sh and C.
1777
c684cf36 1778=head2 v5.14.0 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
8b55b028
ZA
1779
1780L<Announced on 2011-05-14 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172326.html>
1781
1782At the start of any project, I'm programming primarily to please
1783myself. (The two chief virtues in a programmer are laziness and
1784impatience.) After a while somebody looks over my shoulder and says,
1785"That's neat. It'd be neater if it did such-and-so." So the thing
1786gets neater. Pretty soon (a year or two) I have an rn, a warp, a patch,
1787or a perl. One of these years I'll have a metaconfig.
1788
1789I then say to myself, "I don't want my life's work to die when this
1790computer is scrapped, so I should let some other people use this. If I
1791ask my company to sell this, it'll never see the light of day, and nobody
1792would pay much for it anyway. If I sell it myself, I'll be in trouble with
1793my company, to whom I signed my life away when I was hired. If I give it
1794away, I can pretend it was worthless in the first place, so my company
1795won't care. In any event, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."
1796
1797So a freely distributable program is born.
1798
1799=head2 v5.14.0-RC3 - American Airlines Gate Agent, last call
1800
1801L<Announced on 2011-05-11 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172282.html>
1802
1803This is the last call for flight 1697 with service to Chicago and
1804continuing service to San Francisco. All passengers should already be
1805aboard. If you aren't aboard at this time, you will be denied boarding
1806and your bags will be offloaded.
1807
2ee7da68 1808=head2 v5.14.0-RC2 - Greg Grandin, "Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City"
8b55b028
ZA
1809
1810L<Announced on 2011-05-04 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg171879.html>
1811
1812Over the course of nearly two decades, Ford would spend tens of millions
1813of dollars founding not one but, after the plantation was defastated
1814by leaf blight, two American towns, complete with central squares,
1815sidewalks, indoor plumbing, hospitals, manicured lawns, movie theaters,
1816swimming pools, golf courses, and, of course, Model Ts and As rolling
1817down their paved streets.
1818
1819Back in America, newspapers kept up their drumbeat celebration, only
1820obliquely referencing reports that things were not progressing as the
1821company had hoped. But there was one note of skepticism. In late 1928,
1822the Washington Post ran an editorial that read in its entirety: "Ford will
1823govern a rubber plantation in Brazil larger than North Carolina. This is
1824the first time he has applied quantity production methods to trouble"
1825
1826=head2 v5.14.0-RC1 - Bill Bryson, "In a Sunburned Country"
1827
1828L<Announced on 2011-04-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/04/msg171253.html>
1829
1830But then Australia is such a difficult country to keep track of. On
1831my first visit, some years ago, I passed the time on the long flight
1832reading a history of Australian politics in the twentieth century,
1833wherein I encountered the startling fact that in 1967 the prime minister,
1834Harold Holt, was strolling along a beach in Victoria when he plunged into
1835the surf and vanished. No trace of the poor man was ever seen again.
b86ac955 1836This seemed doubly astounding to me—first that Australia could
8b55b028
ZA
1837just I<lose> a prime minister (I mean, come on) and second that news of
1838this had never reached me.
1839
2ee7da68 1840=head2 v5.13.11 - Walt Whitman, L<"Leaves of Grass"|http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaves_of_Grass>
04496198 1841
f3d08688 1842L<Announced on 2011-03-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/03/msg170206.html>
04496198
FR
1843
1844 When the full-grown poet came,
1845 Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all its
1846 shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;
1847 But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unreconciled,
1848 Nay he is mine alone;
1849 --Then the full-grown poet stood between the two, and took each
1850 by the hand;
c2a00619
KW
1851 And to-day and ever so stands, as blender, uniter, tightly
1852 holding hands,
04496198
FR
1853 Which he will never release until he reconciles the two,
1854 And wholly and joyously blends them.
1855
2ee7da68 1856=head2 v5.13.10 - Egill Skalla-Grímsson, L<"Egils saga Skalla-Grímssonar"|http://www.heimskringla.no/wiki/Egils_saga_Skalla-Gr%C3%ADmssonar>
f1e17f6f 1857
fbc70a9e 1858L<Announced on 2011-02-20 by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/02/msg169340.html>
30688243 1859
4ed12d4a
SH
1860 Skalat maðr rúnar rísta,
1861 nema ráða vel kunni.
1862 Þat verðr mörgum manni,
1863 es of myrkvan staf villisk.
1864 Sák á telgðu talkni
1865 tíu launstafi ristna.
1866 Þat hefr lauka lindi
1867 langs ofrtrega fengit.
30688243 1868
79af17bd
AB
1869=head2 v5.13.9 - John F Kennedy, L<Inaugural Address January 20, 1961|http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy%27s_Inaugural_Address>
1870
1871L<Announced on 2011-01-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168335.html>
1872
1873In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been
1874granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I
1875do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it. I do not believe
1876that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other
1877generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this
1878endeavor will light our country and all who serve it. And the glow from
1879that fire can truly light the world.
1880
1881And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
1882ask what you can do for your country.
1883
1884My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you,
1885but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
1886
1887Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world,
1888ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which
1889we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history
1890the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love,
1891asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's
1892work must truly be our own.
1893
94521723
Z
1894=head2 v5.13.8 - Roger Williams, L<"The Fifth Gift"|http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/8/19/21304/8493>
1895
2831a86c
ZA
1896L<Announced on 2010-12-19 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/12/msg167271.html>
1897
94521723
Z
1898The aliens called the box a "matter generator," but we'd be more inclined
1899to call it a matter duplicator. By connecting switches and potentiometers
1900between the copper posts it was possible to make the box mark off two
1901cubic rectangular areas of volume. Make a certain contact, and these
1902areas would be isolated within perfectly reflective fields. They could
1903be expanded or contracted by altering resistances between other posts.
1904As I worked out the user interface I built a little control panel for
1905the device. It was actually a clever way for the aliens to do things;
1906instead of trying to build controls we could use, they built us an
1907interface we could attach to controls that made sense to us. It could
1908also be automated.
1909
1910Once you had made the contact that established the shielded volumes,
1911if you made another certain contact the contents of the first volume
1912were copied to the second. The machine copied metal, plastic, steel,
1913and diamond with equal ease. Copies of copies of copies of copies were
1914indistinguishable from the originals at any magnification, even using
1915techniques like X-ray crystallography.
1916
2ee7da68 1917=head2 v5.13.7 - Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski, "The Matrix"
6b1649d0 1918
2831a86c
ZA
1919L<Announced on 2010-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/11/msg166162.html>
1920
6b1649d0
CBW
1921[Neo sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one]
1922
5814c912 1923 Neo: Whoa. Deja vu.
6b1649d0
CBW
1924
1925[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
1926
5814c912
RS
1927 Trinity: What did you just say?
1928 Neo: Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
1929 Trinity: What did you see?
1930 Cypher: What happened?
89550e55
RS
1931 Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just
1932 like it.
5814c912
RS
1933 Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
1934 Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure.
1935 Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
1936 Neo: What is it?
89550e55
RS
1937 Trinity: A deja vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when
1938 they change something.
6b1649d0 1939
54cc2c9a
TM
1940=head2 v5.13.6 - Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"
1941
2831a86c
ZA
1942L<Announced on 2010-10-20 by Tatsuhiko Miyagawa|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/10/msg165183.html>
1943
54cc2c9a
TM
1944The boy called Crow softly rests a hand on my shoulder, and with that
1945he storm vanishes.
1946
1947"From now on -- no matter what -- you've got to be the world's toughest
1948fifteen-year-old. That's the only way you're going to survive. And in order
1949to do that, you've got to figure out what it means to be tough. You following
1950me?"
1951
1952I keep my eyes closed and don't reply. I just want to sink off into sleep
1953like this, his hand on my shoulder. I hear the faint flutter of wings.
1954
1955"You're going to be the world's toughest fifteen-year-old," Crow whispers
1956as I try to fall asleep. Like he was carving the words in a deep blue tattoo
1957on my heart.
1958
1959(Translated from Japanese by Philip Gabriel)
1960
f6c56125
SH
1961=head2 v5.13.5 - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, "The Room in the Dragon Volant"
1962
2831a86c
ZA
1963L<Announced on 2010-09-19 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg164238.html>
1964
f6c56125
SH
1965Candle in hand I stepped in. I do not know whether the quality of
1966air, long undisturbed, is peculiar; to me it has always seemed so, and
1967the damp smell of the old masonry hung in this atmosphere. My candle
1968faintly lighted the bare stone wall that enclosed the stair, the foot
1969of which I could not see. Down I went, and a few turns brought me to
1970the stone floor. Here was another door, of the simple, old, oak kind,
1971deep sunk in the thickness of the wall. The large end of the key
1972fitted this. The lock was stiff; I set the candle down upon the
1973stair, and applied both hands; it turned with difficulty, and as it
1974revolved, uttered a shriek that alarmed me for my secret.
1975
1976For some minutes I did not move. In a little time, however, I took
1977courage, and opened the door. The night-air floating in puffed out
1978the candle. There was a thicket of holly and underwood, as dense as a
1979jungle, close about the door. I should have been in pitch-darkness,
1980were it not that through the topmost leaves there twinkled, here and
1981there, a glimmer of moonshine.
1982
1983Softly, lest any one should have opened his window at the sound of the
1984rusty bolt, I struggled through this till I gained a view of the open
1985grounds. Here I found that the brushwood spread a good way up the
1986park, uniting with the wood that approached the little temple I have
806849f8 1987described.
f6c56125 1988
fdea69f9
FR
1989=head2 v5.13.4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
1990
2831a86c
ZA
1991L<Announced on 2010-08-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163150.html>
1992
fdea69f9
FR
1993`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice;
1994`I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat
1995it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
1996she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
1997
4ed12d4a
SH
1998 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
1999 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
2000 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
2001 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
fdea69f9
FR
2002
2003
2004`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.
2005
2006`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
2007nonsense.'
2008
2009Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
2010anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
2011
2012`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
2013
2014`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
2015
2016`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How could he turn them out
2017with his nose, you know?'
2018
2019`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
2020the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
2021
0feeb912
DG
2022=head2 v5.13.3 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"
2023
2831a86c
ZA
2024L<Announced on 2010-07-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/07/msg162230.html>
2025
0feeb912
DG
2026Look at Crowley, doing 110 mph on the M40 heading towards
2027Oxfordshire. Even the most resolutely casual observer would
2028notice a number of strange things about him. The clenched teeth,
2029for example, or the dull red glow coming from behind his
2030sunglasses. And the car. The car was a definite hint.
2031
2032Crowley had started the journey in his Bentley, and he was
2033dammned if he wasn't going to finish it in the Bentley as well.
2034Not that even the kind of car buff who owns his own pair of
2035motoring goggles would have been able to tell it was a vintage
2036Bentley. Not any more. They wouldn't have been able to tell
2037that it was a Bentley. They would only offer fifty-fifty that it
2038had ever even been a car.
2039
2040There was no paint left on it, for a start. It might still have
2041been black, where it wasn't a rusty, smudged reddish-brown, but
2042this was a dull charcoal black. It traveled in its own ball of
2043flame, like a space capsule making a particularly difficult
2044re-entry.
2045
2046There was a thin skin of crusted, melted rubber left around the
2047metal wheel rims, but seeing that the wheel rims were still
2048somhow riding an inch above the road surface this didn't seem to
2049make an awful lot of difference to the suspension.
2050
2051It should have fallen apart miles back.
2052
3c55f444
MT
2053=head2 v5.13.2 - Iain M Banks, "Use of Weapons"
2054
2831a86c
ZA
2055L<Announced on 2010-06-22 by Matt S Trout|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/06/msg161112.html>
2056
51caa79e
DG
2057We deal in the moral equivalent of black holes, where the normal laws -
2058the rules of right and wrong that people imagine apply everywhere else
2059in the universe - break down; beyond those metaphysical event-horizons,
3c55f444
MT
2060there exist ... special circumstances.
2061
2062=head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote"
d069c093 2063
2831a86c
ZA
2064L<Announced on 2010-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160275.html>
2065
d069c093
RS
2066And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct
2067bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail
2068yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out
2069with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even
2070if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build
2071bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in
2072quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough.
2073
c7bed260
Z
2074=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
2075
2076L<Announced on 2010-04-20 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg159275.html>
2077
2078The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
2079involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
2080when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
2081streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
2082road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
2083seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
2084smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
2085
2086"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
2087volcano were once more to set to work."
2088
c682aa67
SH
2089=head2 v5.12.5 - William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure"
2090
2091L<Announced on 2012-11-10 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195171.html>
2092
2093 Music oft hath such a charm
2094 To make bad good, and good provoke to harm.
2095
2096=head2 v5.12.4 - William Schwenck Gilbert, "Trial By Jury"
2097
2098L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173725.html>
2099
2100 You cannot eat breakfast all day,
2101 Nor is it the act of a sinner,
2102 When breakfast is taken away,
2103 To turn his attention to dinner;
2104 And it's not in the range of belief,
2105 To look upon him as a glutton,
2106 Who, when he is tired of beef,
2107 Determines to tackle the mutton.
2108 Ah! But this I am willing to say,
2109 If it will appease her sorrow,
2110 I'll marry this lady today,
2111 And I'll marry the other tomorrow!
2112
2113=head2 v5.12.4-RC2 - James Russell Lowell, "Eleanor makes macaroons"
2114
2115L<Announced on 2011-06-15 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173609.html>
2116
2117 Now for sugar, -- nay, our plan
2118 Tolerates no work of man.
2119 Hurry, then, ye golden bees;
2120 Fetch your clearest honey, please,
2121 Garnered on a Yorkshire moor,
2122 While the last larks sing and soar,
2123 From the heather-blossoms sweet
2124 Where sea-breeze and sunshine meet,
2125 And the Augusts mask as Junes, --
2126 Eleanor makes macaroons!
2127
2128=head2 v5.12.4-RC1 - Ogden Nash, "The Clean Plater"
2129
2130L<Announced on 2011-06-08 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173352.html>
2131
2132 Pheasant is pleasant, of course,
2133 And terrapin, too, is tasty,
2134 Lobster I freely endorse,
2135 In pate or patty or pasty.
2136 But there's nothing the matter with butter,
2137 And nothing the matter with jam,
2138 And the warmest greetings I utter
2139 To the ham and the yam and the clam.
2140 For they're food,
2141 All food,
2142 And I think very fondly of food.
2143 Through I'm broody at times
2144 When bothered by rhymes,
2145 I brood
2146 On food.
2147
c7bed260
Z
2148=head2 v5.12.3 - Howard W. Campbell, Jr., "Reflections on Not Participating in Current Events"
2149
2150L<Announced on 2011-01-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168368.html>
2151
2152 I saw a huge steam roller,
2153 It blotted out the sun.
2154 The people all lay down, lay down;
2155 They did not try to run.
2156 My love and I, we looked amazed
2157 Upon the gory mystery.
2158 'Lie down, lie down!' the people cried.
2159 'The great machine is history!'
2160 My love and I, we ran away,
2161 The engine did not find us.
2162 We ran up to a mountain top,
2163 Left history far behind us.
2164 Perhaps we should have stayed and died,
2165 But somehow we don't think so.
2166 We went to see where history'd been,
2167 And my, the dead did stink so.
2168
2169=head2 v5.12.2 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
2170
2171L<Announced on 2010-09-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg163852.html>
2172
2173CPUs. Cayce Pollard Units. That's what Damien calls the clothing
2174she wears. CPUs are either black, white, or gray, and ideally
2175seem to have come into this world without human intervention.
2176
2177What people take for relentless minimalism is a side effect
2178of too much exposure to the reactor-cores of fashion. This
2179has resulted in a remorseless paring-down of what she can and
2180will wear. She is, literally, allergic to fashion. She can
2181only tolerate things that could have been worn, to a general
2182lack of comment, during any year between 1945 and 2000. She's a
2183design-free zone, a one-woman school of and whose very austerity
2184periodically threatens to spawn its own cult.
2185
2186=head2 v5.12.2-RC1 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
2187
2188L<Announced on 2010-08-31 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163670.html>
2189
2190The front page opens, familiar as a friend's living room. A frame-grab
2191from #48 serves as backdrop, dim and almost monochrome, no characters in
2192view. This is one of the sequences that generate comparisons with
2193Tarkovsky. She only knows Tarkovsky from stills, really, though she did
2194once fall asleep during a screening of The Stalker, going under on an
2195endless pan, the camera aimed straight down, in close-up, at a puddle on
2196a ruined mosaic floor. But she is not one of those who think that much
2197will be gained by analysis of the maker's imagined influences. The cult
2198of the footage is rife with subcults, claiming every possible influence.
2199Truffaut, Peckinpah -- The Peckinpah people, among the least likely, are
2200still waiting for the guns to be drawn.
2201
4363636d
DG
2202=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2203
2831a86c
ZA
2204L<Announced on 2010-05-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160109.html>
2205
4363636d
DG
2206"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
2207many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
d517a16a
Z
2208Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs --
2209what we might call ice-one -- is only one of several types of ice.
4363636d
DG
2210Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
2211had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
2212...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
d517a16a
Z
2213"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- a crystal as
2214hard as this desk -- with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
4363636d
DG
2215degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
2216and-thirty degrees."
2217
4363636d
DG
2218=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2219
2831a86c
ZA
2220L<Announced on 2010-05-13 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160066.html>
2221
4363636d
DG
2222San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
2223the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
2224hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
2225of the Free World."
2226
2227Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
2228level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
2229harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
2230exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
2231
2831a86c
ZA
2232=head2 v5.12.1-RC1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2233
2234L<Announced on 2010-05-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg159971.html>
4363636d 2235
4363636d
DG
2236Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
2237the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
2238just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
2239a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
2240it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
2241of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
2242common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
2243bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
2244
4ed12d4a
SH
2245 Around and around and around we spin,
2246 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
4363636d 2247
4363636d
DG
2248=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2249
2831a86c
ZA
2250L<Announced on 2010-04-12 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158820.html>
2251
4363636d
DG
2252'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
2253not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
2254your cat grins like that?'
2255
2256'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
2257
2258She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
2259jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
2260and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
2261
2262'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
2263that cats COULD grin.'
2264
2265'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
2266
4363636d
DG
2267=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2268
2831a86c
ZA
2269L<Announced on 2010-04-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158720.html>
2270
4363636d
DG
2271'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
2272have got altered.'
2273
2274'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
2275there was silence for some minutes.
2276
4363636d
DG
2277=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2278
2831a86c
ZA
2279L<Announced on 2010-04-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158567.html>
2280
4363636d
DG
2281'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
2282always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
2283rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
2284yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
2285can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
2286kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
2287
4363636d
DG
2288=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2289
2831a86c
ZA
2290L<Announced on 2010-04-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158346.html>
2291
4363636d
DG
2292At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
2293called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
2294dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
2295in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
2296sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
2297
2298'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
2299is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
2300the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
2301to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
2302accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
d517a16a 2303Mercia and Northumbria --"'
4363636d 2304
2831a86c 2305=head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no announcement
4363636d 2306
2831a86c 2307Available on CPAN since 2010-04-01.
4363636d 2308
3e340399 2309=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
4363636d 2310
2831a86c
ZA
2311L<Announced on 2010-03-29 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg158060.html>
2312
4363636d
DG
2313So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
2314hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
2315making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
2316picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
2317close by her.
2318
2319There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
2320VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
2321dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
2322occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
2323it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
2324OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
2325Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
2326never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
2327take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
2328after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
2329rabbit-hole under the hedge.
2330
2331In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
2332in the world she was to get out again.
2333
0e6b8110 2334=head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph
4363636d 2335
2831a86c 2336L<Announced on 2020-03-21 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg157761.html>
4363636d 2337
3e340399 2338=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
4363636d 2339
2831a86c
ZA
2340L<Announced on 2010-02-21 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/02/msg156957.html>
2341
4ed12d4a
SH
2342 A little child, a limber elf,
2343 Singing, dancing to itself,
2344 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
2345 That always finds, and never seeks,
2346 Makes such a vision to the sight
2347 As fills a father's eyes with light;
2348 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
2349 Upon his heart, that he at last
2350 Must needs express his love's excess
2351 With words of unmeant bitterness.
2352 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
2353 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
2354 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
2355 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
2356 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
2357 At each wild word to feel within
2358 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
2359 And what, if in a world of sin
2360 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
2361 Such giddiness of heart and brain
2362 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
2363 So talks as it's most used to do.
4363636d 2364
4363636d
DG
2365=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
2366
2831a86c
ZA
2367L<Announced on 2010-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/01/msg155848.html>
2368
4363636d
DG
2369And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
2370into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
2371mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
2372question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
2373hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
2374louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
2375who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
2376worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
2377done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
2378
4363636d
DG
2379=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
2380
2831a86c
ZA
2381L<Announced on 2009-12-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/12/msg154838.html>
2382
4363636d 2383"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
d517a16a 2384course you'd druther work -- wouldn't you? Course you would!"
4363636d
DG
2385
2386Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
2387
2388"Why ain't that work?"
2389
2390Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
2391is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
2392
2393"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
2394
2395The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
2396to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
2397
2398That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
2399swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
2400-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
2401watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
2402absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
2403
4363636d
DG
2404=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
2405
f0ccce9b 2406L<Announced on 2009-11-20 by Léon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/11/msg153646.html>
2831a86c 2407
4363636d
DG
2408The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
2409at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
2410streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
2411the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
2412live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
2413colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
2414as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
2415wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
2416prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
2417however much they're into colour.
2418
4363636d
DG
2419=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
2420
2831a86c
ZA
2421L<Announced on 2009-10-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg152360.html>
2422
4363636d
DG
2423Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
2424and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
2425word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
2426disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
2427everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
2428on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
2429that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
2430glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
b10ee209 2431war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Milo
4363636d
DG
2432presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
2433for more hazardous assignment.
2434
4363636d
DG
2435=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
2436
2831a86c
ZA
2437L<Announced on 2009-10-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg151376.html>
2438
4363636d
DG
2439Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
2440streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
2441trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
2442to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
2443about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
2444of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
2445facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
2446explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
2447Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
2448people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
2449work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
2450their art.
2451
4363636d
DG
2452=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2453
dd047fac 2454L<Announced on 2009-08-23 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150172.html>
2831a86c 2455
4363636d
DG
2456'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
2457the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
2458Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
2459Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
2460responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
2461Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
2462Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
2463Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
2464Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
2465Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
2466
2467'Can they all type?' I joked.
2468
2469'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
2470McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
2471
2472I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
2473'We could have opened an agency.'
2474
2475Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
2476Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
2477amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
2478all say that, do they?' I ventured.
2479
2480Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
2481replied. 'Not quite all.'
2482
0e6b8110 2483=head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph
4363636d 2484
2831a86c 2485L<Announced on 2009-08-18 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150015.html>
3e340399 2486
0e6b8110 2487=head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph
4363636d 2488
2831a86c 2489L<Announced on 2009-08-06 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg149498.html>
3e340399 2490
c7bed260 2491=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
4363636d 2492
c7bed260
Z
2493L<Announced on 2007-12-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/12/msg131636.html>
2494
2495He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
2496he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
2497out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
2498noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
2499must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
2500number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
2501did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
2502
2503=head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph
2504
2505L<Announced on 2007-11-25 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130978.html>
2506
2507=head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph
2508
2509L<Announced on 2007-11-17 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130653.html>
2510
2511=head2 v5.9.5 - no announcement
2512
2513L<Pre-announced on 2007-07-07 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/07/msg126358.html>,
2514available on CPAN with same date, but never actually announced.
2515
2516=head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph
2517
2518L<Announced on 2006-08-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/08/msg115782.html>
2519
2520=head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph
2521
2522L<Announced on 2006-01-28 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109086.html>
2523
2524=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
2525
f3d08688 2526L<Announced on 2005-04-01 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/04/msg99421.html>
c7bed260
Z
2527
2528This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
2529gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
2530technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
2531about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
2532bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
2533paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
2534in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
2535electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
2536picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
2537to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
2538technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
2539getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
2540sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
2541it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
2542conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
2543
2544"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
2545that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
2546`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
2547
2548"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
2549one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
2550flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
2551everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
2552make you flip?
2553
2554=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
2555
f3d08688 2556L<Announced on 2004-03-16 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89722.html>
c7bed260
Z
2557
2558Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
2559
2560=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
2561
f3d08688 2562L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84147.html>
c7bed260
Z
2563
2564What of October, that ambiguous month
4363636d 2565
4363636d
DG
2566=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2567
2831a86c
ZA
2568L<Announced on 2008-12-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142571.html>
2569
4363636d
DG
2570Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
2571proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
2572the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
2573anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
2574how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
2575
2576'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
2577
2578This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
2579that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
2580
2581'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
2582expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
2583anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
2584sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
2585
2586This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
2587basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
2588policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
2589disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
2590the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
2591Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
2592and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
2593Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
2594
2595In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
2596reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
2597
2598I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
2599Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
2600for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
2601had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
2602work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
2603the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
2604left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
2605pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
2606the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
2607the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
2608
2609I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
2610publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
2611Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
2612
2613So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
2614pushing to increase the membership?
2615
2616'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
2617more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
2618futile and impotent it becomes.'
2619
2620This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
2621
2622Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
2623diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
2624
4363636d
DG
2625=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2626
dd047fac 2627L<Announced on 2008-12-06 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142422.html>
2831a86c 2628
4363636d
DG
2629There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
2630about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
2631four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
2632anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
2633thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
2634
2635Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
2636and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
2637press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
2638obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
2639produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
2640this draft...'
2641
2642I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
2643hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
2644incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
2645
2646'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
2647redundancy payments as well.'
2648
2649'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
2650it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
2651
2652'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
2653
4363636d
DG
2654=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2655
2831a86c
ZA
2656L<Announced on 2008-11-10 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/11/msg141515.html>
2657
4363636d
DG
2658A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
2659was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
2660and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
2661jets and all.
2662
2663I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
2664
2665I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
2666Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
2667specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
2668the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
2669jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
2670grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
2671in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
2672
2673While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
2674taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
2675me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
2676sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
2677three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
2678plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
2679occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
2680were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
2681
2682And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
2683were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
2684
2685Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
2686name like Charlie Umtali?
2687
2688I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
2689know something about our official visitor.
2690
2691Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
2692has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
2693car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
2694to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
2695knew little of his background.
2696
2697I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
2698Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
2699first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
2700
2701Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
2702
2703'Why?' I enquired.
2704
2705'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
2706to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
2707never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
2708
2709Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
2710that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
2711
2712In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
2713where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
2714revolving door and comes out in front.'
2715
2716'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
2717
2718'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
2719
2720'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
2721
4363636d
DG
2722=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
2723
f3d08688 2724L<Announced on 2006-01-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109190.html>
2831a86c 2725
4ed12d4a
SH
2726 It's not that easy bein' green
2727 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
2728 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
2729 Or something much more colorful like that
51caa79e 2730
4ed12d4a
SH
2731 It's not easy bein' green
2732 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
2733 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
2734 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
2735 Or stars in the sky
51caa79e 2736
4ed12d4a
SH
2737 But green's the color of Spring
2738 And green can be cool and friendly-like
2739 And green can be big like an ocean
2740 Or important like a mountain
2741 Or tall like a tree
4363636d 2742
4ed12d4a
SH
2743 When green is all there is to be
2744 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
2745 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
2746 And I think it's what I want to be
4363636d 2747
4363636d
DG
2748=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
2749
f3d08688 2750L<Announced on 2006-01-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg108833.html>
2831a86c 2751
4ed12d4a 2752 Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
51caa79e 2753
4ed12d4a 2754 Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
4363636d 2755
4363636d
DG
2756=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
2757
f3d08688 2758L<Announced on 2005-05-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg101088.html>
2831a86c 2759
4363636d
DG
2760And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
2761hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
2762cat.
2763
2764Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
51caa79e 2765the wolf? What then?"
4363636d 2766
4363636d
DG
2767=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
2768
2831a86c
ZA
2769L<Announced on 2005-05-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg100711.html>
2770
4363636d
DG
2771And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
2772bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
2773round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
2774
2775In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
2776gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
2777climbed up the high stone wall.
2778
2779One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
2780stretched out over the wall.
2781
2782Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
2783Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
2784take care that he doesn't catch you!".
2785
2786The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
2787snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
2788
2789How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
51caa79e 2790the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
4363636d 2791
4363636d
DG
2792=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
2793
f3d08688 2794L<Announced on 2004-11-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg96304.html>
2831a86c 2795
4363636d 2796"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
51caa79e 2797you."
4363636d 2798
51caa79e 2799"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
4363636d
DG
2800
2801"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
2802and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
51caa79e 2803to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
4363636d 2804
51caa79e 2805"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
4363636d
DG
2806
2807"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
2808planting it."
2809
2810"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
51caa79e 2811grow up into a beehive."
4363636d 2812
51caa79e 2813Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
4363636d
DG
2814
2815"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
2816Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
51caa79e 2817wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
4363636d 2818
51caa79e 2819Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
4363636d
DG
2820
2821"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
2822how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
51caa79e 2823and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
4363636d 2824
4363636d
DG
2825=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
2826
2831a86c
ZA
2827L<Announced on 2004-11-11 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg95786.html>
2828
4363636d
DG
2829"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
2830
2831"Hunting," said Pooh.
2832
2833"Hunting what?"
2834
2835"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
2836
2837"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
2838
2839"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
2840
2841"What do you think you'll answer?"
2842
2843"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
2844"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
2845you see there?"
2846
2847"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
2848excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
2849
4363636d
DG
2850=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
2851
f3d08688 2852L<Announced on 2004-07-19 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg93189.html>
2831a86c 2853
4363636d
DG
2854Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
2855ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
2856bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
2857waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
2858droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
2859hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
2860longbow.
2861
2862In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
2863often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
2864placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
2865likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
2866may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
2867Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
2868Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
2869farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
2870grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
51caa79e 2871T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
4363636d 2872
4363636d
DG
2873=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
2874
f3d08688 2875L<Announced on 2004-07-09 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92934.html>
2831a86c 2876
4363636d
DG
2877Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
2878ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
2879sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
2880pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
2881shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
2882
2883The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
2884Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
51caa79e 2885Caledonia and South America.
4363636d 2886
4363636d
DG
2887=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
2888
f3d08688 2889L<Announced on 2004-07-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92840.html>
2831a86c 2890
4363636d
DG
2891The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
2892often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
2893large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
2894and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
2895spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
2896year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
2897may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
2898
2899It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
2900branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
2901of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
2902that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
2903
2904Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
2905other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
2906acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
2907mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
2908
2909It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
51caa79e 2910heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
4363636d 2911
4363636d
DG
2912=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
2913
f3d08688 2914L<Announced on 2004-04-22 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90984.html>
2831a86c 2915
4363636d
DG
2916 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
2917 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
2918 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
2919 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
2920
2921 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
2922 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
2923 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
2924 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
2925 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
2926 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
2927 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
2928 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
2929
4363636d
DG
2930 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
2931 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
2932
4363636d
DG
2933
2934=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
2935
f3d08688 2936L<Announced on 2004-04-16 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90796.html>
2831a86c 2937
4363636d
DG
2938 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
2939 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
2940 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
2941 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
2942
2943 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
2944 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
2945 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
2946 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
2947 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
2948 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!
2949
4363636d
DG
2950=head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
2951
f3d08688 2952L<Announced on 2004-04-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90422.html>
2831a86c 2953
4363636d
DG
2954 There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
2955 When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
2956 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
2957 We must find him of the train can't start.'
2958 All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
2959 They are searching high and low,
2960 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
2961 Then the Night Mail just can't go'
2962 At 11.42 then the signal's overdue
2963 And the passengers are frantic to a man--
2964 Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear:
2965 He's been busy in the luggage van!
2966 He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
c5fb089a 2967 And the signal goes 'All Clear!'
4363636d
DG
2968 And we're off at last of the northern part
2969 Of the Northern Hemisphere!
2970
4363636d
DG
2971=head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode"
2972
f3d08688 2973L<Announced on 2004-01-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/01/msg87317.html>
2831a86c 2974
51caa79e
DG
2975 We are the music makers,
2976 And we are the dreamers of dreams,
2977 Wandering by lonely sea-breakers,
2978 And sitting by desolate streams; --
2979 World-losers and world-forsakers,
2980 On whom the pale moon gleams:
2981 Yet we are the movers and shakers
2982 Of the world for ever, it seems.
4363636d 2983
4363636d
DG
2984=head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance"
2985
f3d08688 2986L<Announced on 2004-01-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/01/msg86969.html>
2831a86c 2987
4363636d
DG
2988 There may be trouble ahead,
2989 But while there's music and moonlight,
2990 And love and romance,
2991 Let's face the music and dance.
2992
2993 Before the fiddlers have fled,
2994 Before they ask us to pay the bill,
2995 And while we still have that chance,
2996 Let's face the music and dance.
2997
2998 Soon, we'll be without the moon,
2999 Humming a different tune, and then,
3000
3001 There may be teardrops to shed,
3002 So while there's music and moonlight,
3003 And love and romance,
3004 Let's face the music and dance.
3005
4363636d
DG
3006=head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"
3007
f3d08688 3008L<Announced on 2003-11-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84822.html>
2831a86c 3009
4363636d
DG
3010 Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins!
3011 Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
3012 Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail!
3013 Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
3014 Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
3015 Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough?
3016
4363636d
DG
3017 Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
3018 Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me,
3019 For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
3020 And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
3021
3022 O my brave soul!
3023 O farther farther sail!
3024 O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God?
3025 O farther, farther, farther sail!
3026
2ee7da68 3027=head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle and John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty"
4363636d 3028
f3d08688 3029L<Announced on 2003-11-03 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84645.html>
2831a86c 3030
4363636d
DG
3031 It's fun to charter an accountant
3032 And sail the wide accountan-cy,
3033 To find, explore the funds offshore
3034 And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
3035
4363636d
DG
3036=head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies"
3037
f3d08688 3038L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84194.html>
2831a86c 3039
4363636d
DG
3040 They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
3041 In a Sieve they went to sea:
3042 In spite of all their friends could say,
3043 On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
3044 In a Sieve they went to sea!
3045 And when the Sieve turned round and round,
3046 And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
3047 They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big,
3048 But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig!
3049 In a Sieve we'll go to sea!"
3050
3051 Far and few, far and few,
3052 Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
3053 Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
3054 And they went to sea in a Sieve.
3055
2831a86c
ZA
3056=head2 v5.8.1 - epigraph same as v5.7.1
3057
3058L<Announced on 2003-09-25 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82678.html>
3059
3060=head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"
3061
3062L<Announced on 2003-09-22 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82476.html>
3063
3064No matter what she did with her hair it took about
3065three minutes for it to tangle itself up again,
3066like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which,
3067no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil
3068overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
3069
3070=head2 v5.8.1-RC4 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3071
3072L<Announced on 2003-08-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/08/msg79184.html>
3073
3074Grand Viziers were /always/ scheming megalomaniacs.
3075It was probably in the job description: "Are you a
3076devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good,
3077then you can be my most trusted minister."
3078
3079=head2 v5.8.1-RC3 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3080
3081L<Announced on 2003-07-30 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg79048.html>
3082
3083Lord Hong had a mind like a knife, although possibly
3084a knife with a curved blade.
3085
3086=head2 v5.8.1-RC2 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3087
3088L<Announced on 2003-07-11 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78102.html>
3089
3090Many an ancient lord's last words had been, "You can't kill
3091me because I've got magic aaargh."
3092
3093=head2 v5.8.1-RC1 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3094
3095L<Announced on 2003-07-10 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78009.html>
3096
3097Cohen was familiar with city gates. He'd broken down a number
3098in his time, by battering ram, siege gun, and on one occasion
3099with his head.
3100
3101But the gates of Hunghung were pretty damn good gates. They
3102weren't like the gates of Ankh-Morpork, which were usually wide
3103open to attract the spending customer and whose concession to
3104defense was the sign "Thank You For Not Attacking Our City.
3105Bonum Diem." These things were big and made of metal and there
3106was a guardhouse and a squad of unhelpful men in black armor.
3107
2831a86c
ZA
3108=head2 v5.8.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
3109
3110L<Announced on 2002-07-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63720.html>
3111
3112There was the faint sound of footsteps.
3113"Chap with a whip got as far as the big sharp spikes last week,"
3114said the low priest.
3115There was a sound like the flushing of a very old dry lavatory.
3116The footsteps stopped. The High Priest smiled to himself.
3117"Right," he said. "See your two pebbles and raise you two pebbles."
3118The low priest threw down his cards. "Double Onion," he said.
3119The High Priest looked down suspiciously.
3120The low priest consulted a scrap of paper. "That's three hundred
3121thousand, nine hundred and sixty-four pebbles you owe me," he said.
3122There was the sound of footsteps. The priests exchanged glances.
3123"Haven't had one for poisoned-dart alley for quite some time,"
3124said the High Priest.
3125"Five says he makes it", said the low priest. "You're on."
3126There was a faint clatter of metal points on stone.
3127"It's a shame to take your pebbles."
3128There were footsteps again.
3129
3130=head2 v5.8.0-RC3 - no epigraph
3131
3132L<Announced on 2002-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63234.html>
3133
3134=head2 v5.8.0-RC2 - no epigraph
3135
3136L<Announced on 2002-06-21 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg62013.html>
3137
3138=head2 v5.8.0-RC1 - no epigraph
3139
3140L<Announced on 2002-06-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg60317.html>
3141
3142=head2 v5.7.3 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
3143
3144L<Announced on 2002-03-04 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/03/msg53652.html>
3145
3146Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong.
3147No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always
3148got there first, and is waiting for it.
3149
3150=head2 v5.7.2 - Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods"
3151
3152L<Announced on 2001-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/07/msg40370.html>
3153
3154His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools --
3155the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up
3156all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any
3157bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing
3158you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
3159
3160=head2 v5.7.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
3161
dd047fac 3162L<Announced on 2001-04-09 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33851.html>
4363636d 3163
4363636d
DG
3164"What happens next?" asked Twoflower.
3165
3166Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently.
3167
3168"Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be
3169flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple
3170arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders
3171and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then
3172I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then
3173I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl
3174will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll
3175liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure."
3176Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the
3177ceiling, whistling tunelessly.
3178
3179"All that?" said Twoflower.
3180
3181"Usually."
3182
c7bed260
Z
3183=head2 v5.7.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Moving Pictures"
3184
3185L<Announced on 2000-09-02 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/09/msg17730.html>
3186
3187The Librarian had seen many weird things in his time,
3188but that had to be the 57th strangest.
3189[footnote: he had a tidy mind]
3190
2ee7da68 3191=head2 v5.6.2 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
c7bed260 3192
f3d08688 3193L<Announced on 2003-11-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg85222.html>
c7bed260
Z
3194
3195When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this
3196sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of
3197a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see
3198what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not
3199long in this instance.
3200
2ee7da68 3201=head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
c7bed260 3202
f3d08688 3203L<Announced on 2003-11-08 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84953.html>
c7bed260
Z
3204
3205"Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?"
3206
2831a86c 3207=head2 v5.6.1 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", Riddles in the Dark
4363636d 3208
2831a86c 3209L<Announced on 2001-04-08 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33823.html>
4363636d 3210
2831a86c
ZA
3211`What have I got in my pocket?' he said aloud. He was talking to
3212himself, but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully
3213upset.
4363636d 3214
2831a86c
ZA
3215`Not fair! not fair!' he hissed. `It isn't fair, my precious, is it,
3216to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?'
4363636d 3217
2831a86c
ZA
3218Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask
3219stuck to his question, `What have I got in my pocket?' he said
3220louder.
4363636d 3221
2831a86c
ZA
3222`S-s-s-s-s,' hissed Gollum. `It must give us three guesseses,
3223my precious, three guesseses.'
4363636d 3224
2831a86c 3225=head2 v5.6.1-foolish - no epigraph
4363636d 3226
dd047fac 3227L<Announced on 2001-04-01 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33421.html>
3e340399 3228
2831a86c 3229=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL3 - I can't find the announcement
4363636d 3230
a4b0381d
MS
3231No announcement available.
3232
2831a86c 3233=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL2 - no epigraph
4363636d 3234
2831a86c 3235L<Announced on 2001-01-31 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/01/msg29934.html>
4363636d 3236
2831a86c 3237=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL1 - no epigraph
4363636d 3238
2831a86c 3239L<Announced on 2000-12-18 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/12/msg27738.html>
4363636d 3240
2831a86c 3241=head2 v5.6.0 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", The Last Stage
a4b0381d 3242
2831a86c
ZA
3243L<Announced on 2000-03-23 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10341.html>
3244
4ed12d4a
SH
3245 The dragon is withered,
3246 His bones are now crumbled;
3247 His armour is shivered,
3248 His splendour is humbled!
3249 Though sword shall be rusted,
3250 And throne and crown perish
3251 With strength that men trusted
3252 And wealth that they cherish,
3253 Here grass is still growing,
3254 And leaves are a yet swinging,
3255 The white water flowing,
3256 And elves are yet singing
3257 Come! Tra-la-la-lally!
3258 Come back to the valley.
2831a86c 3259
2831a86c
ZA
3260=head2 v5.6.0-RC3 - no epigraph
3261
3262L<Announced on 2000-03-22 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10140.html>
4363636d 3263
c7bed260
Z
3264=head2 v5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph
3265
3266L<Announced on 2009-02-16 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/02/msg144227.html>
3267
3268=head2 v5.005_04 - no epigraph
3269
f3d08688 3270L<Announced on 2004-03-01 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89047.html>
c7bed260
Z
3271
3272=head2 v5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"
3273
f3d08688 3274L<Announced on 2004-02-19 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/02/msg88672.html>
c7bed260
Z
3275
3276The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise
3277the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they
3278never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use
3279them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council
3280chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would
3281run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster
3282and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them,
3283and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up
3284and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake
3285the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers
3286fall.
3287
3288=head2 v5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3289
f3d08688 3290L<Announced on 2004-02-05 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/02/msg88312.html>
c7bed260
Z
3291
3292Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
3293plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
3294going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
3295she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked
3296at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
3297cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
3298hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she
3299passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
3300disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
3301of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
3302she fell past it.
3303
3304=head2 v1.0_16 - Johan Vromans, extemporarily
3305
f3d08688
SH
3306L<Announced on 2003-12-18 by Richard Clamp|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/12/msg86423.html>
3307
3308 't was 16 years ago today
3309 Larry taught us a new game
3310 of lazyness, impatience, and hubris
3311 Happy birthday, Perl!
c7bed260 3312
4363636d
DG
3313=head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
3314
0e6b8110 3315This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs
4363636d
DG
3316on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled
3317L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406>
3318by ysth.
3319
3320=cut
3e340399 3321
4363636d 3322# vim:tw=72: