Commit | Line | Data |
---|---|---|
4363636d DG |
1 | =head1 NAME |
2 | ||
0e6b8110 | 3 | perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs |
4363636d DG |
4 | |
5 | =head1 DESCRIPTION | |
6 | ||
0e6b8110 | 7 | Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt |
4363636d | 8 | from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or |
0e6b8110 | 9 | release manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for |
4363636d DG |
10 | posterity. |
11 | ||
0e6b8110 DG |
12 | I<Note>: these have also been referred to as <epigrams>, but the |
13 | definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used. | |
14 | Consult your favorite dictionary for details. | |
15 | ||
16 | =head1 EPIGRAPHS | |
4363636d | 17 | |
20a372dd | 18 | =head2 v5.13.2 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote" |
d069c093 RS |
19 | |
20 | And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct | |
21 | bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail | |
22 | yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out | |
23 | with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even | |
24 | if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build | |
25 | bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in | |
26 | quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough. | |
27 | ||
4363636d DG |
28 | =head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth" |
29 | ||
4363636d DG |
30 | The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an |
31 | involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been | |
32 | when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and | |
33 | streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the | |
34 | road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot | |
35 | seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of | |
36 | smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench! | |
37 | ||
38 | "Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old | |
39 | volcano were once more to set to work." | |
40 | ||
4363636d DG |
41 | =head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
42 | ||
4363636d DG |
43 | "Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were |
44 | many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze. | |
45 | Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs— | |
46 | what we might call ice-one—is only one of several types of ice. | |
47 | Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never | |
48 | had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four | |
49 | ...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again, | |
50 | "that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine—a crystal as | |
51 | hard as this desk—with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred | |
52 | degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred- | |
53 | and-thirty degrees." | |
54 | ||
4363636d DG |
55 | =head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
56 | ||
4363636d DG |
57 | San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from |
58 | the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four | |
59 | hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals | |
60 | of the Free World." | |
61 | ||
62 | Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea | |
63 | level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a | |
64 | harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal | |
65 | exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties. | |
66 | ||
4363636d DG |
67 | =head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" |
68 | ||
4363636d DG |
69 | Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is |
70 | the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us, | |
71 | just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree, | |
72 | a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever | |
73 | it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos | |
74 | of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their | |
75 | common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not | |
76 | bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing: | |
77 | ||
78 | Around and around and around we spin, | |
79 | With feet of lead and wings of tin . . . | |
80 | ||
4363636d DG |
81 | =head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
82 | ||
4363636d DG |
83 | 'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was |
84 | not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why | |
85 | your cat grins like that?' | |
86 | ||
87 | 'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!' | |
88 | ||
89 | She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite | |
90 | jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, | |
91 | and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:-- | |
92 | ||
93 | 'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know | |
94 | that cats COULD grin.' | |
95 | ||
96 | 'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.' | |
97 | ||
4363636d DG |
98 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
99 | ||
4363636d DG |
100 | 'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words |
101 | have got altered.' | |
102 | ||
103 | 'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and | |
104 | there was silence for some minutes. | |
105 | ||
4363636d DG |
106 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
107 | ||
4363636d DG |
108 | 'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't |
109 | always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and | |
110 | rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and | |
111 | yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what | |
112 | can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that | |
113 | kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! | |
114 | ||
4363636d DG |
115 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
116 | ||
4363636d DG |
117 | At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, |
118 | called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you | |
119 | dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse | |
120 | in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt | |
121 | sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon. | |
122 | ||
123 | 'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This | |
124 | is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William | |
125 | the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted | |
126 | to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much | |
127 | accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of | |
128 | Mercia and Northumbria—"' | |
129 | ||
0e6b8110 | 130 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 131 | |
3e340399 | 132 | Z<> |
4363636d | 133 | |
3e340399 | 134 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
4363636d DG |
135 | |
136 | So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the | |
137 | hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of | |
138 | making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and | |
139 | picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran | |
140 | close by her. | |
141 | ||
142 | There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so | |
143 | VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh | |
144 | dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it | |
145 | occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time | |
146 | it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH | |
147 | OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, | |
148 | Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had | |
149 | never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to | |
150 | take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field | |
151 | after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large | |
152 | rabbit-hole under the hedge. | |
153 | ||
154 | In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how | |
155 | in the world she was to get out again. | |
156 | ||
0e6b8110 | 157 | =head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 158 | |
3e340399 | 159 | Z<> |
4363636d | 160 | |
3e340399 | 161 | =head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel" |
4363636d DG |
162 | |
163 | A little child, a limber elf, | |
164 | Singing, dancing to itself, | |
165 | A fairy thing with red round cheeks, | |
166 | That always finds, and never seeks, | |
167 | Makes such a vision to the sight | |
168 | As fills a father's eyes with light; | |
169 | And pleasures flow in so thick and fast | |
170 | Upon his heart, that he at last | |
171 | Must needs express his love's excess | |
172 | With words of unmeant bitterness. | |
173 | Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together | |
174 | Thoughts so all unlike each other; | |
175 | To mutter and mock a broken charm, | |
176 | To dally with wrong that does no harm. | |
177 | Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty | |
178 | At each wild word to feel within | |
179 | A sweet recoil of love and pity. | |
180 | And what, if in a world of sin | |
181 | (O sorrow and shame should this be true!) | |
182 | Such giddiness of heart and brain | |
183 | Comes seldom save from rage and pain, | |
184 | So talks as it's most used to do. | |
185 | ||
4363636d DG |
186 | =head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment" |
187 | ||
4363636d DG |
188 | And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went |
189 | into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you | |
190 | mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to | |
191 | question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly | |
192 | hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a | |
193 | louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man | |
194 | who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I | |
195 | worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have | |
196 | done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon. | |
197 | ||
4363636d DG |
198 | =head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" |
199 | ||
4363636d DG |
200 | "Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of |
201 | course you'd druther work—wouldn't you? Course you would!" | |
202 | ||
203 | Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?" | |
204 | ||
205 | "Why ain't that work?" | |
206 | ||
207 | Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it | |
208 | is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer." | |
209 | ||
210 | "Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?" | |
211 | ||
212 | The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't | |
213 | to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?" | |
214 | ||
215 | That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom | |
216 | swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect | |
217 | -- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben | |
218 | watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more | |
219 | absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little." | |
220 | ||
4363636d DG |
221 | |
222 | =head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward" | |
223 | ||
4363636d DG |
224 | The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here |
225 | at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the | |
226 | streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in | |
227 | the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently | |
228 | live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into | |
229 | colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch: | |
230 | as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're | |
231 | wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone | |
232 | prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood, | |
233 | however much they're into colour. | |
234 | ||
4363636d DG |
235 | =head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22" |
236 | ||
4363636d DG |
237 | Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen, |
238 | and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his | |
239 | word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious | |
240 | disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying | |
241 | everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share" | |
242 | on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain | |
243 | that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His | |
244 | glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his | |
245 | war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Mil | |
246 | presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal | |
247 | for more hazardous assignment. | |
248 | ||
4363636d DG |
249 | =head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita" |
250 | ||
4363636d DG |
251 | Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in |
252 | streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance | |
253 | trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless | |
254 | to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories | |
255 | about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun | |
256 | of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless, | |
257 | facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without | |
258 | explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of | |
259 | Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured | |
260 | people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the | |
261 | work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in | |
262 | their art. | |
263 | ||
4363636d DG |
264 | |
265 | =head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" | |
266 | ||
4363636d DG |
267 | 'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as |
268 | the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private | |
269 | Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the | |
270 | Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly | |
271 | responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under | |
272 | Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries. | |
273 | Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain | |
274 | Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two | |
275 | Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own | |
276 | Parliamentary Private Secretary.' | |
277 | ||
278 | 'Can they all type?' I joked. | |
279 | ||
280 | 'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs | |
281 | McKay types - she is your Secretary.' | |
282 | ||
283 | I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said. | |
284 | 'We could have opened an agency.' | |
285 | ||
286 | Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir | |
287 | Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely | |
288 | amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they | |
289 | all say that, do they?' I ventured. | |
290 | ||
291 | Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he | |
292 | replied. 'Not quite all.' | |
293 | ||
0e6b8110 | 294 | =head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 295 | |
3e340399 RS |
296 | Z<> |
297 | ||
0e6b8110 | 298 | =head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 299 | |
3e340399 | 300 | Z<> |
4363636d | 301 | |
3e340399 | 302 | =head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
4363636d DG |
303 | |
304 | He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that | |
305 | he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it | |
306 | out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short | |
307 | noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it | |
308 | must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same | |
309 | number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line, | |
310 | did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom. | |
311 | ||
0e6b8110 | 312 | =head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 313 | |
3e340399 RS |
314 | Z<> |
315 | ||
0e6b8110 | 316 | =head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 317 | |
3e340399 RS |
318 | Z<> |
319 | ||
0e6b8110 | 320 | =head2 v5.9.5 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 321 | |
3e340399 RS |
322 | Z<> |
323 | ||
0e6b8110 | 324 | =head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 325 | |
3e340399 RS |
326 | Z<> |
327 | ||
0e6b8110 | 328 | =head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 329 | |
3e340399 | 330 | Z<> |
4363636d | 331 | |
3e340399 | 332 | =head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V" |
4363636d DG |
333 | |
334 | This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd | |
335 | gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and | |
336 | technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less | |
337 | about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a | |
338 | bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all | |
339 | paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic | |
340 | in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to | |
341 | electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd | |
342 | picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around | |
343 | to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one | |
344 | technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was | |
345 | getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this | |
346 | sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when | |
347 | it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was | |
348 | conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop. | |
349 | ||
350 | "And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And | |
351 | that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized | |
352 | `cells' in a big `electronic brain.' " | |
353 | ||
354 | "Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But | |
355 | one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go | |
356 | flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop, | |
357 | everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to | |
358 | make you flip? | |
359 | ||
4363636d DG |
360 | =head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia" |
361 | ||
4363636d DG |
362 | Aren't you supposed to have a pony? |
363 | ||
4363636d DG |
364 | =head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest" |
365 | ||
4363636d DG |
366 | What of October, that ambiguous month |
367 | ||
4363636d DG |
368 | =head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
369 | ||
4363636d DG |
370 | Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a |
371 | proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by | |
372 | the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the | |
373 | anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise | |
374 | how damaging this would be to the European ideal? | |
375 | ||
376 | 'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.' | |
377 | ||
378 | This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression | |
379 | that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey. | |
380 | ||
381 | 'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the | |
382 | expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really | |
383 | anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make | |
384 | sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.' | |
385 | ||
386 | This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And | |
387 | basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign | |
388 | policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a | |
389 | disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against | |
390 | the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and | |
391 | Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians | |
392 | and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the | |
393 | Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.] | |
394 | ||
395 | In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no | |
396 | reason to change when it has worked so well until now. | |
397 | ||
398 | I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history. | |
399 | Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary | |
400 | for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We | |
401 | had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't | |
402 | work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA, | |
403 | the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK | |
404 | left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete | |
405 | pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French, | |
406 | the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and | |
407 | the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time. | |
408 | ||
409 | I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are | |
410 | publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir | |
411 | Humphrey, and he simply chuckled. | |
412 | ||
413 | So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we | |
414 | pushing to increase the membership? | |
415 | ||
416 | 'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The | |
417 | more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more | |
418 | futile and impotent it becomes.' | |
419 | ||
420 | This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so. | |
421 | ||
422 | Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it | |
423 | diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.' | |
424 | ||
4363636d DG |
425 | =head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
426 | ||
4363636d DG |
427 | There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do |
428 | about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the | |
429 | four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or | |
430 | anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop | |
431 | thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon. | |
432 | ||
433 | Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive | |
434 | and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate | |
435 | press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had | |
436 | obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he | |
437 | produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve | |
438 | this draft...' | |
439 | ||
440 | I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight | |
441 | hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out | |
442 | incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.' | |
443 | ||
444 | 'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred | |
445 | redundancy payments as well.' | |
446 | ||
447 | 'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest, | |
448 | it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.' | |
449 | ||
450 | 'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey. | |
451 | ||
4363636d DG |
452 | =head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister" |
453 | ||
4363636d DG |
454 | A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I |
455 | was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes, | |
456 | and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo | |
457 | jets and all. | |
458 | ||
459 | I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said. | |
460 | ||
461 | I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to | |
462 | Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it | |
463 | specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at | |
464 | the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are | |
465 | jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly | |
466 | grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines | |
467 | in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.' | |
468 | ||
469 | While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo | |
470 | taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave | |
471 | me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night | |
472 | sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a | |
473 | three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last | |
474 | plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any | |
475 | occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we | |
476 | were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim. | |
477 | ||
478 | And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We | |
479 | were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie. | |
480 | ||
481 | Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a | |
482 | name like Charlie Umtali? | |
483 | ||
484 | I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now | |
485 | know something about our official visitor. | |
486 | ||
487 | Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO | |
488 | has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the | |
489 | car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted | |
490 | to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore | |
491 | knew little of his background. | |
492 | ||
493 | I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background. | |
494 | Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top | |
495 | first. Wiped the floor with everyone. | |
496 | ||
497 | Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.' | |
498 | ||
499 | 'Why?' I enquired. | |
500 | ||
501 | 'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how | |
502 | to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I | |
503 | never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally. | |
504 | ||
505 | Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said | |
506 | that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?' | |
507 | ||
508 | In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know | |
509 | where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a | |
510 | revolving door and comes out in front.' | |
511 | ||
512 | 'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey. | |
513 | ||
514 | 'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.' | |
515 | ||
516 | 'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.' | |
517 | ||
4363636d DG |
518 | =head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green" |
519 | ||
4363636d DG |
520 | It's not that easy bein' green |
521 | Having to spend each day the color of the leaves | |
522 | When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold | |
523 | Or something much more colorful like that | |
524 | ||
525 | It's not easy bein' green | |
526 | It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things | |
527 | And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're | |
528 | Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water | |
529 | Or stars in the sky | |
530 | ||
531 | But green's the color of Spring | |
532 | And green can be cool and friendly-like | |
533 | And green can be big like an ocean | |
534 | Or important like a mountain | |
535 | Or tall like a tree | |
536 | ||
537 | When green is all there is to be | |
538 | It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why? | |
539 | Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful | |
540 | And I think it's what I want to be | |
541 | ||
4363636d DG |
542 | =head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse" |
543 | ||
4363636d DG |
544 | Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it! |
545 | ||
546 | Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone. | |
547 | ||
4363636d DG |
548 | =head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf" |
549 | ||
4363636d DG |
550 | And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the |
551 | hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the | |
552 | cat. | |
553 | ||
554 | Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught | |
555 | the wolf? What then?" | |
556 | ||
4363636d DG |
557 | =head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf" |
558 | ||
4363636d DG |
559 | And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The |
560 | bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and | |
561 | round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes. | |
562 | ||
563 | In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the | |
564 | gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and | |
565 | climbed up the high stone wall. | |
566 | ||
567 | One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking, | |
568 | stretched out over the wall. | |
569 | ||
570 | Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree. | |
571 | Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only | |
572 | take care that he doesn't catch you!". | |
573 | ||
574 | The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf | |
575 | snapped angrily at him from this side and that. | |
576 | ||
577 | How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But | |
578 | the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it. | |
579 | ||
4363636d DG |
580 | =head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner" |
581 | ||
4363636d DG |
582 | "Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was |
583 | you." | |
584 | ||
585 | "So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?" | |
586 | ||
587 | "I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree, | |
588 | and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having | |
589 | to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?" | |
590 | ||
591 | "Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh. | |
592 | ||
593 | "It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm | |
594 | planting it." | |
595 | ||
596 | "Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will | |
597 | grow up into a beehive." | |
598 | ||
599 | Piglet wasn't quite sure about this. | |
600 | ||
601 | "Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much. | |
602 | Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the | |
603 | wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother" | |
604 | ||
605 | Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering. | |
606 | ||
607 | "Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know | |
608 | how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made, | |
609 | and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it. | |
610 | ||
4363636d DG |
611 | =head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh" |
612 | ||
4363636d DG |
613 | "Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?" |
614 | ||
615 | "Hunting," said Pooh. | |
616 | ||
617 | "Hunting what?" | |
618 | ||
619 | "Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously. | |
620 | ||
621 | "Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer. | |
622 | ||
623 | "That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?" | |
624 | ||
625 | "What do you think you'll answer?" | |
626 | ||
627 | "I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh. | |
628 | "Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do | |
629 | you see there?" | |
630 | ||
631 | "Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of | |
632 | excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?" | |
633 | ||
4363636d DG |
634 | =head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew" |
635 | ||
4363636d DG |
636 | Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and |
637 | ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish | |
638 | bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes, | |
639 | waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their | |
640 | droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very | |
641 | hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English | |
642 | longbow. | |
643 | ||
644 | In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is | |
645 | often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are | |
646 | placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are | |
647 | likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees | |
648 | may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the | |
649 | Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites. | |
650 | Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage | |
651 | farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial | |
652 | grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of | |
653 | T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets. | |
654 | ||
4363636d DG |
655 | =head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech" |
656 | ||
4363636d DG |
657 | Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about |
658 | ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or | |
659 | sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in | |
660 | pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or | |
661 | shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica). | |
662 | ||
663 | The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus, | |
664 | Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New | |
665 | Caledonia and South America. | |
666 | ||
4363636d DG |
667 | =head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged) |
668 | ||
4363636d DG |
669 | The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also |
670 | often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a | |
671 | large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed | |
672 | and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid | |
673 | spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same | |
674 | year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and | |
675 | may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk. | |
676 | ||
677 | It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged | |
678 | branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many | |
679 | of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques | |
680 | that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health. | |
681 | ||
682 | Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and | |
683 | other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the | |
684 | acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small | |
685 | mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius. | |
686 | ||
687 | It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable | |
688 | heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work. | |
689 | ||
4363636d DG |
690 | =head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat" |
691 | ||
4363636d DG |
692 | I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; |
693 | The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots. | |
694 | She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat: | |
695 | She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat! | |
696 | ||
697 | But when the day's hustle and bustle is done, | |
698 | Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun. | |
699 | She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment | |
700 | To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment. | |
701 | So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts, | |
702 | A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts, | |
703 | With a purpose in life and a good deed to do-- | |
704 | And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo. | |
705 | ||
4363636d DG |
706 | So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers -- |
707 | On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears. | |
708 | ||
4363636d DG |
709 | |
710 | =head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat" | |
711 | ||
4363636d DG |
712 | Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -- |
713 | For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law. | |
714 | He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair: | |
715 | For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/! | |
716 | ||
717 | Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity, | |
718 | He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity. | |
719 | His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare, | |
720 | And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/! | |
721 | You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -- | |
722 | But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/! | |
723 | ||
4363636d DG |
724 | =head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat" |
725 | ||
4363636d DG |
726 | There's a whisper down the line at 11.39 |
727 | When the Night Mail's ready to depart, | |
728 | Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble? | |
729 | We must find him of the train can't start.' | |
730 | All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters | |
731 | They are searching high and low, | |
732 | Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble | |
733 | Then the Night Mail just can't go' | |
734 | At 11.42 then the signal's overdue | |
735 | And the passengers are frantic to a man-- | |
736 | Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear: | |
737 | He's been busy in the luggage van! | |
738 | He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes | |
739 | And the the signal goes 'All Clear!' | |
740 | And we're off at last of the northern part | |
741 | Of the Northern Hemisphere! | |
742 | ||
4363636d DG |
743 | =head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode" |
744 | ||
4363636d DG |
745 | We are the music makers, |
746 | And we are the dreamers of dreams, | |
747 | Wandering by lonely sea-breakers, | |
748 | And sitting by desolate streams; -- | |
749 | World-losers and world-forsakers, | |
750 | On whom the pale moon gleams: | |
751 | Yet we are the movers and shakers | |
752 | Of the world for ever, it seems. | |
753 | ||
4363636d DG |
754 | =head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance" |
755 | ||
4363636d DG |
756 | There may be trouble ahead, |
757 | But while there's music and moonlight, | |
758 | And love and romance, | |
759 | Let's face the music and dance. | |
760 | ||
761 | Before the fiddlers have fled, | |
762 | Before they ask us to pay the bill, | |
763 | And while we still have that chance, | |
764 | Let's face the music and dance. | |
765 | ||
766 | Soon, we'll be without the moon, | |
767 | Humming a different tune, and then, | |
768 | ||
769 | There may be teardrops to shed, | |
770 | So while there's music and moonlight, | |
771 | And love and romance, | |
772 | Let's face the music and dance. | |
773 | ||
4363636d DG |
774 | =head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India" |
775 | ||
4363636d DG |
776 | Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins! |
777 | Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor! | |
778 | Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail! | |
779 | Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough? | |
780 | Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes? | |
781 | Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough? | |
782 | ||
4363636d DG |
783 | Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only, |
784 | Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me, | |
785 | For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go, | |
786 | And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all. | |
787 | ||
788 | O my brave soul! | |
789 | O farther farther sail! | |
790 | O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God? | |
791 | O farther, farther, farther sail! | |
792 | ||
4363636d DG |
793 | =head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle/John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty" |
794 | ||
4363636d DG |
795 | It's fun to charter an accountant |
796 | And sail the wide accountan-cy, | |
797 | To find, explore the funds offshore | |
798 | And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy. | |
799 | ||
4363636d DG |
800 | =head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies" |
801 | ||
4363636d DG |
802 | They went to sea in a Sieve, they did, |
803 | In a Sieve they went to sea: | |
804 | In spite of all their friends could say, | |
805 | On a winter's morn, on a stormy day, | |
806 | In a Sieve they went to sea! | |
807 | And when the Sieve turned round and round, | |
808 | And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!" | |
809 | They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big, | |
810 | But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig! | |
811 | In a Sieve we'll go to sea!" | |
812 | ||
813 | Far and few, far and few, | |
814 | Are the lands where the Jumblies live; | |
815 | Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, | |
816 | And they went to sea in a Sieve. | |
817 | ||
4363636d DG |
818 | =head2 v5.8.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic" |
819 | ||
4363636d DG |
820 | "What happens next?" asked Twoflower. |
821 | ||
822 | Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently. | |
823 | ||
824 | "Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be | |
825 | flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple | |
826 | arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders | |
827 | and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then | |
828 | I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then | |
829 | I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl | |
830 | will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll | |
831 | liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure." | |
832 | Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the | |
833 | ceiling, whistling tunelessly. | |
834 | ||
835 | "All that?" said Twoflower. | |
836 | ||
837 | "Usually." | |
838 | ||
4363636d DG |
839 | =head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies" |
840 | ||
4363636d DG |
841 | No matter what she did with her hair it took about |
842 | three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, | |
843 | like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which, | |
844 | no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil | |
845 | overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles]. | |
846 | ||
4363636d DG |
847 | =head2 v5.6.2 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
848 | ||
4363636d DG |
849 | When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this |
850 | sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of | |
851 | a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see | |
852 | what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not | |
853 | long in this instance. | |
854 | ||
4363636d DG |
855 | =head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy" |
856 | ||
4363636d DG |
857 | "Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?" |
858 | ||
0e6b8110 | 859 | =head2 5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 860 | |
3e340399 RS |
861 | Z<> |
862 | ||
0e6b8110 | 863 | =head2 5.005_04 - no epigraph |
4363636d | 864 | |
3e340399 | 865 | Z<> |
4363636d | 866 | |
3e340399 | 867 | =head2 5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book" |
4363636d DG |
868 | |
869 | The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise | |
870 | the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they | |
871 | never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use | |
872 | them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council | |
873 | chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would | |
874 | run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster | |
875 | and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them, | |
876 | and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up | |
877 | and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake | |
878 | the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers | |
879 | fall. | |
880 | ||
4363636d DG |
881 | =head2 5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" |
882 | ||
4363636d DG |
883 | Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had |
884 | plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was | |
885 | going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what | |
886 | she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked | |
887 | at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with | |
888 | cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures | |
889 | hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she | |
890 | passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great | |
891 | disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear | |
892 | of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as | |
893 | she fell past it. | |
894 | ||
4363636d DG |
895 | =head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS |
896 | ||
0e6b8110 | 897 | This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs |
4363636d DG |
898 | on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled |
899 | L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406> | |
900 | by ysth. | |
901 | ||
902 | =cut | |
3e340399 | 903 | |
4363636d | 904 | # vim:tw=72: |