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3=head1 NAME
4
0e6b8110 5perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs
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6
7=head1 DESCRIPTION
8
0e6b8110 9Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt
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10from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or release
11manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for posterity,
12and also links to the release announcements in mailing list archives.
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14I<Note>: these have also been referred to as <epigrams>, but the
15definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used.
16Consult your favorite dictionary for details.
17
18=head1 EPIGRAPHS
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20=head2 v5.17.2 - Terry Pratchet, "The Colour of Magic"
21
22L<Announced on 2012-06-21 by TonyC|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/07/msg189828.html>
23
24‘I knew it,’ said Rincewind. ‘We're in a strong magical field.’
25
26Twoflower and Hrun looked around the little hollow where they had made
27their noonday halt. Then they looked at each other.
28
29The horses were quietly cropping the rich grass by the stream. Yellow
30butterflies skittered among the bushes. There was a smell of thyme
31and a buzzing of bees. The wild pigs on the spit sizzled gently.
32
33Hrun shrugged and went back to oiling his biceps. They gleamed.
34
35‘Looks alright to me,’ he said.
36
37‘Try tossing a coin,’ said Rincewind.
38
39‘What?’
40
41‘Go on. Toss a coin.’
42
43‘Hokay,’ said Hrun. 'If that gives you any pleasure.’ He reached into
44his pouch and withdrew a handful of loose change plundered from a
45dozen realms. With some care he selected a Zchloty leaden
46quarter-iotum and balanced it on a purple thumbnail.
47
48‘You call,’ he said. ‘Heads or—’ he inspected the obverse with
49an air of intense concentration, ‘some sort of a fish with legs.’
50
51‘When it's in the air,’ said Rincewind. Hrun grinned and flicked his thumb.
52
53The iotum rose, spinning.
54
55‘Edge,’ said Rincewind, without looking at it.
56
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57=head2 v5.17.1 - Rand Miller, "Myst: The Book of Ti'ana"
58
59L<Announced on 2012-06-20 by doy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/06/msg188354.html>
60
61On their return from Ko'ah, Aitrus had shown her the Book, patiently
62taking her through page after page, and showing her how such an Age was
63"made." She had seen at once the differences between this archaic form
64and the ordinary written speech of the D'ni, noting how it was not
65merely more elaborate but more specific: a language of precise yet
66subtle descriptive power. Yet seeing was one thing, believing another.
67Given all the evidence, her rational mind still fought against accepting
68it.
69
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70=head2 v5.17.0 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
71
f51b9d59 72L<Announced on 2012-05-26 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg187214.html>
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73
74`Welcome, comrades!' Burya opened his arms toward the soldier.
75`Yes it is true! With help from our allies of the Festival, the iron
76hand of the reactionary junta is about to be overthrown for all time!
77The new economy is being born; the marginal cost of production has
78been abolished, and from now on, if any item is produced once, it can
79be replicated infinitely. From each according to his imagination,
80to each according to his needs! Join us or better still, bring your
81fellow soldiers and workers to join us!'
82
83There was a sharp bang from the roof of the Corn Exchange, right at the
84climax of his impromptu speech; heads turned in alarm. Something had
85broken inside the spork factory and a stream of rainbow-hued plastic
86implements fountained toward the sky and clattered to the cobblestones
87on every side, like a harbinger of the postindustrial society to come.
88Workers and peasants alike stared in open-mouthed bewilderment at this
89astounding display of productivity, then bent to scrabble in the muck
90for the brightly colored sporks of revolution. A volley of shots rang
91out and Burya Rubenstein raised his hands, grinning wildly, to accept
92the salute of the soldiers from the Skull Hill garrison.
93
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94=head2 v5.16.0 - W.H. Auden - September 1, 1939
95
96L<Announced on 2012-05-20 by Ricardo
97Signes|http://www.xray.mpe.mpg.de/mailing-lists/perl5-porters/2012-05/msg00728.html>
98
99 All I have is a voice
100 To undo the folded lie,
101 The romantic lie in the brain
102 Of the sensual man-in-the-street
103 And the lie of Authority
104 Whose buildings grope the sky:
105 There is no such thing as the State
106 And no one exists alone;
107 Hunger allows no choice
108 To the citizen or the police;
109 We must love one another or die.
110
111 -- W.H. Auden, September 1, 1939
112
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113=head2 v5.15.9 - Bob Dylan - Blowin' In The Wind
114
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115L<Announced on 2012-03-20 by
116Abigail|http://nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/184824>
117
118 How many roads must a man walk down
119 Before you call him a man?
120 Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
121 Before she sleeps in the sand?
122 Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannonballs fly
123 Before they're forever banned?
124 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
125 The answer is blowin' in the wind
126
127 How many years can a mountain exist
128 Before it's washed to the sea?
129 Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
130 Before they're allowed to be free?
131 Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
132 Pretending he just doesn't see?
133 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
134 The answer is blowin' in the wind
135
136 How many times must a man look up
137 Before he can see the sky?
138 Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
139 Before he can hear people cry?
140 Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
141 That too many people have died?
142 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
143 The answer is blowin' in the wind
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144
145 -- Bob Dylan, Spring 1962
146
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147=head2 v5.15.8 - The KLF - The Manual-How To Have A Number One The Easy Way
148
149L<Announced on 2012-02-20 by Max
150Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/02/msg183919.html>
151
152 "Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
153 Doctor Who, in the Tardis
154 Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
155 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who
156 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who"
157
158Gibberish of course, but every lad in the country under a certain
159age related instinctively to what it was about. The ones slightly
160older needed a couple of pints inside them to clear away the mind
161debris left by the passing years before it made sense. As for
162girls and our chorus, we think they must have seen it as pure crap.
163A fact that must have limited to zero our chances of staying at The
164Top for more than one week.
165
166Stock, Aitkin and Waterman, however, are kings of writing chorus
167lyrics that go straight to the emotional heart of the 7" single
168buying girls in this country. Their most successful records will kick
169into the chorus with a line which encapsulates the entire emotional
170meaning of the song. This will obviously be used as the title. As
171soon as Rick Astley hit the first line of the chorus on his debut
172single it was all over - the Number One position was guaranteed:
173
174 "I'm never going to give you up"
175
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176=head2 v5.15.7 - Penelope Lively, The Voyage of QV66
177
178L<Announced on 2012-01-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams
179|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/01/msg182230.html>
180
181"Laboratories," announced Henry. "Kindly don't touch anything."
182
183He led us into a long low brick shed. Outside there was a
184notice on a piece of board, crudely printed in red paint,
185which said GRATE SIENCE DISCOVERYS DONE HERE SSSH! BRING YOUR
186OWN BUKKIT NO PINCHING ANYWUN ELSE'S EXPERRYMENTS CANTEEN OPEN
187ALL DAY CHIMPS ONLY.
188
189There were a lot of large black monkeys inside, all intently
190busy on what they were doing. Some of them were pouring stuff
191out of bottles into buckets and carefully stirring the ensuing
192mixture; others were at work with glass tubes and jars, blowing
193and measuring and mixing; others were crouched over long benches
194with tools and heaps of bits and pieces of metal, cutting and
195bending and constructing. There was a great deal of noise and
196chatter. Every now and then one of them would give a whoop of
197excitement and all the others would gather round and jump up and
198down cheering and applauding.
199
200"Chimps," said Henry. "They're awfully clever."
201
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202=head2 v5.15.6 - Ursula K. Leguin, A Wizard of Earthsea
203
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204L<Announced on 2011-12-20 by Dave
205Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/12/msg180962.html>
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206
207Ged had thought that as the prentice of a great mage he would enter at once
208into the mystery and mastery of power. He would understand the language of the
209beasts and the speech of the leaves of the forest, he thought, and sway the
210winds with his word, and learn to change himself into any shape he
211wished. Maybe he and his master would run together as stags, or fly to Re Albi
212over the mountain on the wings of eagles.
213
214But it was not so at all. They wandered, first down into the Vale and then
215gradually south and westward around the mountain, given lodging in little
216villages or spending the night out in the wilderness, like poor
217journeyman-sorcerers, or tinkers, or beggars. They entered no mysterious
218domain. Nothing happened. The mage's oaken staff that Ged had watched at first
219with eager dread was nothing but a stout staff to walk with. Three days went
220by and four days went by and still Ogion had not spoken a single charm in
221Ged's hearing, and had not taught him a single name or rune or spell.
222
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223=head2 v5.15.5 - Nikolai Gogol, The Diary of a Madman
224
225L<Announced on 2011-11-20 by Steve
226Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/11/msg179588.html>
227
228This day - is a day of the greatest solemnity! Spain has a king. He has
229been found. I am that king. Only this very day did I learn of it. I
230confess, it came to me suddenly in a flash of lightning. I don't understand
231how I could have thought and imagined that I was a titular councillor. How
232could such a wild notion enter my head? It's a good thing no one thought of
233putting me in an insane asylum. Now everything is laid open before me. Now
234I see everything as on the palm of my hand. And before, I don't understand,
235before everything around me was in some sort of fog. And all this happens, I
236think, because people imagine that the human brain is in the head. Not at
237all: it is brought by a wind from the direction of the Caspian Sea. First
238off, I announced to Mavra who I am. When she heard that the king of Spain
239was standing before her, she clasped her hands and nearly died of fright.
240The stupid woman had never seen a king of Spain before. However, I
241endeavoured to calm her down and assured her in gracious words of my
242benevolence and that I was not at all angry that she sometimes polished my
243boots poorly. They're benighted folk. It's impossible to tell them about
244lofty matters. She got frightened because she's convinced that all kings of
245Spain are like Philip II. But I explained to her that there was no
246resemblance between me and Philip II, and that I didn't have a single
247Capuchin . . . I didn't go to the office . . . To hell with it! No friends,
248you won't lure me there now; I'm not going to copy your vile papers!
249
250 -- Nikolai Gogol, The Diary of a Madman,
251 trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky
252
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253=head2 v5.15.4 - Steve Jobs
254
255L<Announced on 2011-10-20 by Florian
256Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/10/msg178412.html>
257
258A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they
259don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions
260without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of
261the human experience, the better design we will have.
262
c684cf36 263=head2 v5.14.2 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
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264
265L<Announced on 2011-09-26 by Florian
266Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177618.html>
267
268
269It's not so much that people don't value the programs after they have them--they
270do value them. But they're not the sort of thing that would ever catch on if
271they had to overcome the marketing barrier. (I don't yet know if perl will
272catch on at all--I'm worried enough about it that I specifically included an
273awk-to-perl translator just to help it catch on.) Maybe it's all just an
274inferiority complex. Or maybe I don't like to be mercenary.
275
276So I guess I'd say that the reason some software comes free is that the
277mechanism for selling it is missing, either from the work environment, or from
278the heart of the programmer.
279
280
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281=head2 v5.15.3 - Oscar Wilde, All Art is Quite Useless
282
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283L<Announced on 2011-09-20 by Stevan
284Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177427.html>
285
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286 All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath
287 the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol
288 do so at their peril.
289
290 It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
291 Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the
292 work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the
293 artist is in accord with himself.
294
295 We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as
296 he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless
297 thing is that one admires it intensely.
298
299 All art is quite useless.
300
301 -- Oscar Wilde, From the preface to The Picture of Dorian Gray
302
303
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304=head2 v5.15.2 - Rainer Maria Rilke, The Third Duina Elegy
305
306L<Announced on 2011-08-20 by Ricardo
307Signes|http://www.xray.mpe.mpg.de/mailing-lists/perl5-porters/2011-08/msg00694.html>
308
309True, it is strange to live no more on earth,
310no longer follow the folkways scarecely learned;
311not to give roses and other especially auspicious
312things the significance of a human future;
313to be no more what one was in infinitely anxious hands,
314and to put aside even one's name, like a broken plaything.
315Strange, to wish wishes no longer. Strange, to see
316all that was related fluttering so loosely in space.
317And being dead is hard, full of catching-up,
318so that finally one feels a little eternity.–
319But the living all make the mistake of too sharp discrimination.
320Often angels (it's said) don't know if they move
321among the quick or the dead. The eternal current
322hurtles all ages along with it forever
323through both realms and drowns their voices in both.
324
325 -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Duino, The First Elegy
326 trans., C. F. MacIntyre
327
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328=head2 v5.15.1 - Greg Egan, "Permutation City"
329
2ccefb8a 330L<Announced on 2011-07-20 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/07/msg175014.html>
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331
332Carter held out a hand towards the middle of the room. `See that
333fountain?' A ten-metre-wide marble wedding cake, topped with a
334winged cherub wrestling a serpent, duly appeared. Water cascaded
335down from a gushing wound in the cherub's neck. Carter said, `It's
336being computed by redundancies in the sketch of the city. I can
337extract the results, because I know exactly where to look for them --
338but nobody else would have a hope in hell of picking them out.'
339
340Peer walked up to the fountain. Even as he approached, he noticed
341that the spray was intangible; when he dipped his hand in the water
342around the base he felt nothing, and the motion he made with his
343fingers left the foaming surface unchanged. They were spying on
344the calculations, not interacting with them; the fountain was a
345closed system.
346
347Carter said, `In your case, of course, nobody will need to know
348the results. Except you -- and you'll know them because you'll
349/be/ them.'
350
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351=head2 v5.15.0 - Neil Gaiman, "The Graveyard Book"
352
353L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173748.html>
354
355 If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all
356 you will have gained.
357
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358=head2 v5.12.4 - William Schwenck Gilbert, "Trial By Jury"
359
360L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173725.html>
361
362You cannot eat breakfast all day,
363Nor is it the act of a sinner,
364When breakfast is taken away,
365To turn his attention to dinner;
366And it's not in the range of belief,
367To look upon him as a glutton,
368Who, when he is tired of beef,
369Determines to tackle the mutton.
370Ah! But this I am willing to say,
371If it will appease her sorrow,
372I'll marry this lady today,
373And I'll marry the other tomorrow!
374
c684cf36 375=head2 v5.14.1 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
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376
377L<Announced on 2011-06-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173650.html>
378
379At this point I'm no longer working for a company that makes me sign
380my life away, but by now I'm in the habit. Besides, I still harbor
381the deep-down suspicion that nobody would pay money for what I write,
382since most of it just helps you do something better that you could
383already do some other way. How much money would you personally pay
384to upgrade from readnews to rn? How much money would you pay for
385the patch program? As for warp, it's a mere game. And anything you
386can do with perl you can eventually do with an amazing and totally
387unreadable conglomeration of awk, sed, sh and C.
388
389=head2 v5.12.4-RC2 - James Russell Lowell, "Eleanor makes macaroons"
390
391L<Announced on 2011-06-15 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173609.html>
392
393Now for sugar, -- nay, our plan
394Tolerates no work of man.
395Hurry, then, ye golden bees;
396Fetch your clearest honey, please,
397Garnered on a Yorkshire moor,
398While the last larks sing and soar,
399From the heather-blossoms sweet
400Where sea-breeze and sunshine meet,
401And the Augusts mask as Junes, --
402Eleanor makes macaroons!
403
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404=head2 v5.12.4-RC1 - Ogden Nash, "The Clean Plater"
405
406L<Announced on 2011-06-08 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173352.html>
407
408Pheasant is pleasant, of course,
409And terrapin, too, is tasty,
410Lobster I freely endorse,
411In pate or patty or pasty.
412But there's nothing the matter with butter,
413And nothing the matter with jam,
414And the warmest greetings I utter
415To the ham and the yam and the clam.
416For they're food,
417All food,
418And I think very fondly of food.
419Through I'm broody at times
420When bothered by rhymes,
421I brood
422On food.
423
c684cf36 424=head2 v5.14.0 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
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425
426L<Announced on 2011-05-14 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172326.html>
427
428At the start of any project, I'm programming primarily to please
429myself. (The two chief virtues in a programmer are laziness and
430impatience.) After a while somebody looks over my shoulder and says,
431"That's neat. It'd be neater if it did such-and-so." So the thing
432gets neater. Pretty soon (a year or two) I have an rn, a warp, a patch,
433or a perl. One of these years I'll have a metaconfig.
434
435I then say to myself, "I don't want my life's work to die when this
436computer is scrapped, so I should let some other people use this. If I
437ask my company to sell this, it'll never see the light of day, and nobody
438would pay much for it anyway. If I sell it myself, I'll be in trouble with
439my company, to whom I signed my life away when I was hired. If I give it
440away, I can pretend it was worthless in the first place, so my company
441won't care. In any event, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."
442
443So a freely distributable program is born.
444
445=head2 v5.14.0-RC3 - American Airlines Gate Agent, last call
446
447L<Announced on 2011-05-11 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172282.html>
448
449This is the last call for flight 1697 with service to Chicago and
450continuing service to San Francisco. All passengers should already be
451aboard. If you aren't aboard at this time, you will be denied boarding
452and your bags will be offloaded.
453
454=head2 v5.14.0-RC2 - Greg Grandin, Fordlandia, "the Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City"
455
456L<Announced on 2011-05-04 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg171879.html>
457
458Over the course of nearly two decades, Ford would spend tens of millions
459of dollars founding not one but, after the plantation was defastated
460by leaf blight, two American towns, complete with central squares,
461sidewalks, indoor plumbing, hospitals, manicured lawns, movie theaters,
462swimming pools, golf courses, and, of course, Model Ts and As rolling
463down their paved streets.
464
465Back in America, newspapers kept up their drumbeat celebration, only
466obliquely referencing reports that things were not progressing as the
467company had hoped. But there was one note of skepticism. In late 1928,
468the Washington Post ran an editorial that read in its entirety: "Ford will
469govern a rubber plantation in Brazil larger than North Carolina. This is
470the first time he has applied quantity production methods to trouble"
471
472=head2 v5.14.0-RC1 - Bill Bryson, "In a Sunburned Country"
473
474L<Announced on 2011-04-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/04/msg171253.html>
475
476But then Australia is such a difficult country to keep track of. On
477my first visit, some years ago, I passed the time on the long flight
478reading a history of Australian politics in the twentieth century,
479wherein I encountered the startling fact that in 1967 the prime minister,
480Harold Holt, was strolling along a beach in Victoria when he plunged into
481the surf and vanished. No trace of the poor man was ever seen again.
482This seemed doubly astounding to meE<0x2014>first that Australia could
483just I<lose> a prime minister (I mean, come on) and second that news of
484this had never reached me.
485
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486=head2 v5.13.11 - Walt Whitman, L<Leaves of Grass|http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaves_of_Grass>
487
488L<Announced on 2011-02-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.xray.mpe.mpg.de/mailing-lists/perl5-porters/2011-03/msg00560.html>
489
490 When the full-grown poet came,
491 Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all its
492 shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;
493 But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unreconciled,
494 Nay he is mine alone;
495 --Then the full-grown poet stood between the two, and took each
496 by the hand;
497 And to-day and ever so stands, as blender, uniter, tightly holding hands,
498 Which he will never release until he reconciles the two,
499 And wholly and joyously blends them.
500
c7bed260 501=head2 v5.13.10 - Egill Skalla-Grímsson, L<Egils saga Skalla-Grímssonar|http://www.heimskringla.no/wiki/Egils_saga_Skalla-Gr%C3%ADmssonar>
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fbc70a9e 503L<Announced on 2011-02-20 by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/02/msg169340.html>
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505 Skalat maðr rúnar rísta,
506 nema ráða vel kunni.
507 Þat verðr mörgum manni,
508 es of myrkvan staf villisk.
509 Sák á telgðu talkni
510 tíu launstafi ristna.
511 Þat hefr lauka lindi
f1e17f6f 512 langs ofrtrega fengit.
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514=head2 v5.13.9 - John F Kennedy, L<Inaugural Address January 20, 1961|http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy%27s_Inaugural_Address>
515
516L<Announced on 2011-01-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168335.html>
517
518In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been
519granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I
520do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it. I do not believe
521that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other
522generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this
523endeavor will light our country and all who serve it. And the glow from
524that fire can truly light the world.
525
526And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
527ask what you can do for your country.
528
529My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you,
530but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
531
532Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world,
533ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which
534we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history
535the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love,
536asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's
537work must truly be our own.
538
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539=head2 v5.13.8 - Roger Williams, L<"The Fifth Gift"|http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/8/19/21304/8493>
540
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541L<Announced on 2010-12-19 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/12/msg167271.html>
542
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543The aliens called the box a "matter generator," but we'd be more inclined
544to call it a matter duplicator. By connecting switches and potentiometers
545between the copper posts it was possible to make the box mark off two
546cubic rectangular areas of volume. Make a certain contact, and these
547areas would be isolated within perfectly reflective fields. They could
548be expanded or contracted by altering resistances between other posts.
549As I worked out the user interface I built a little control panel for
550the device. It was actually a clever way for the aliens to do things;
551instead of trying to build controls we could use, they built us an
552interface we could attach to controls that made sense to us. It could
553also be automated.
554
555Once you had made the contact that established the shielded volumes,
556if you made another certain contact the contents of the first volume
557were copied to the second. The machine copied metal, plastic, steel,
558and diamond with equal ease. Copies of copies of copies of copies were
559indistinguishable from the originals at any magnification, even using
560techniques like X-ray crystallography.
561
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562=head2 v5.13.7 - Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski, 'The Matrix'
563
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564L<Announced on 2010-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/11/msg166162.html>
565
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566[Neo sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one]
567
568Neo: Whoa. Deja vu.
569
570[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
571
572Trinity: What did you just say?
573Neo: Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
574Trinity: What did you see?
575Cypher: What happened?
576Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just like it.
577Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
578Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure.
579Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
580Neo: What is it?
581Trinity: A deja vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.
582
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583=head2 v5.13.6 - Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"
584
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585L<Announced on 2010-10-20 by Tatsuhiko Miyagawa|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/10/msg165183.html>
586
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587The boy called Crow softly rests a hand on my shoulder, and with that
588he storm vanishes.
589
590"From now on -- no matter what -- you've got to be the world's toughest
591fifteen-year-old. That's the only way you're going to survive. And in order
592to do that, you've got to figure out what it means to be tough. You following
593me?"
594
595I keep my eyes closed and don't reply. I just want to sink off into sleep
596like this, his hand on my shoulder. I hear the faint flutter of wings.
597
598"You're going to be the world's toughest fifteen-year-old," Crow whispers
599as I try to fall asleep. Like he was carving the words in a deep blue tattoo
600on my heart.
601
602(Translated from Japanese by Philip Gabriel)
603
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604=head2 v5.13.5 - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, "The Room in the Dragon Volant"
605
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606L<Announced on 2010-09-19 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg164238.html>
607
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608Candle in hand I stepped in. I do not know whether the quality of
609air, long undisturbed, is peculiar; to me it has always seemed so, and
610the damp smell of the old masonry hung in this atmosphere. My candle
611faintly lighted the bare stone wall that enclosed the stair, the foot
612of which I could not see. Down I went, and a few turns brought me to
613the stone floor. Here was another door, of the simple, old, oak kind,
614deep sunk in the thickness of the wall. The large end of the key
615fitted this. The lock was stiff; I set the candle down upon the
616stair, and applied both hands; it turned with difficulty, and as it
617revolved, uttered a shriek that alarmed me for my secret.
618
619For some minutes I did not move. In a little time, however, I took
620courage, and opened the door. The night-air floating in puffed out
621the candle. There was a thicket of holly and underwood, as dense as a
622jungle, close about the door. I should have been in pitch-darkness,
623were it not that through the topmost leaves there twinkled, here and
624there, a glimmer of moonshine.
625
626Softly, lest any one should have opened his window at the sound of the
627rusty bolt, I struggled through this till I gained a view of the open
628grounds. Here I found that the brushwood spread a good way up the
629park, uniting with the wood that approached the little temple I have
806849f8 630described.
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632=head2 v5.13.4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
633
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634L<Announced on 2010-08-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163150.html>
635
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636`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice;
637`I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat
638it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
639she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
640
641 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
642 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
643 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
644 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
645
646
647`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.
648
649`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
650nonsense.'
651
652Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
653anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
654
655`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
656
657`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
658
659`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How could he turn them out
660with his nose, you know?'
661
662`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
663the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
664
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665=head2 v5.13.3 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"
666
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667L<Announced on 2010-07-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/07/msg162230.html>
668
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669Look at Crowley, doing 110 mph on the M40 heading towards
670Oxfordshire. Even the most resolutely casual observer would
671notice a number of strange things about him. The clenched teeth,
672for example, or the dull red glow coming from behind his
673sunglasses. And the car. The car was a definite hint.
674
675Crowley had started the journey in his Bentley, and he was
676dammned if he wasn't going to finish it in the Bentley as well.
677Not that even the kind of car buff who owns his own pair of
678motoring goggles would have been able to tell it was a vintage
679Bentley. Not any more. They wouldn't have been able to tell
680that it was a Bentley. They would only offer fifty-fifty that it
681had ever even been a car.
682
683There was no paint left on it, for a start. It might still have
684been black, where it wasn't a rusty, smudged reddish-brown, but
685this was a dull charcoal black. It traveled in its own ball of
686flame, like a space capsule making a particularly difficult
687re-entry.
688
689There was a thin skin of crusted, melted rubber left around the
690metal wheel rims, but seeing that the wheel rims were still
691somhow riding an inch above the road surface this didn't seem to
692make an awful lot of difference to the suspension.
693
694It should have fallen apart miles back.
695
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696=head2 v5.13.2 - Iain M Banks, "Use of Weapons"
697
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698L<Announced on 2010-06-22 by Matt S Trout|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/06/msg161112.html>
699
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700We deal in the moral equivalent of black holes, where the normal laws -
701the rules of right and wrong that people imagine apply everywhere else
702in the universe - break down; beyond those metaphysical event-horizons,
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703there exist ... special circumstances.
704
705=head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote"
d069c093 706
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707L<Announced on 2010-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160275.html>
708
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709And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct
710bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail
711yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out
712with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even
713if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build
714bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in
715quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough.
716
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717=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
718
719L<Announced on 2010-04-20 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg159275.html>
720
721The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
722involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
723when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
724streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
725road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
726seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
727smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
728
729"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
730volcano were once more to set to work."
731
732=head2 v5.12.3 - Howard W. Campbell, Jr., "Reflections on Not Participating in Current Events"
733
734L<Announced on 2011-01-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168368.html>
735
736 I saw a huge steam roller,
737 It blotted out the sun.
738 The people all lay down, lay down;
739 They did not try to run.
740 My love and I, we looked amazed
741 Upon the gory mystery.
742 'Lie down, lie down!' the people cried.
743 'The great machine is history!'
744 My love and I, we ran away,
745 The engine did not find us.
746 We ran up to a mountain top,
747 Left history far behind us.
748 Perhaps we should have stayed and died,
749 But somehow we don't think so.
750 We went to see where history'd been,
751 And my, the dead did stink so.
752
753=head2 v5.12.2 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
754
755L<Announced on 2010-09-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg163852.html>
756
757CPUs. Cayce Pollard Units. That's what Damien calls the clothing
758she wears. CPUs are either black, white, or gray, and ideally
759seem to have come into this world without human intervention.
760
761What people take for relentless minimalism is a side effect
762of too much exposure to the reactor-cores of fashion. This
763has resulted in a remorseless paring-down of what she can and
764will wear. She is, literally, allergic to fashion. She can
765only tolerate things that could have been worn, to a general
766lack of comment, during any year between 1945 and 2000. She's a
767design-free zone, a one-woman school of and whose very austerity
768periodically threatens to spawn its own cult.
769
770=head2 v5.12.2-RC1 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
771
772L<Announced on 2010-08-31 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163670.html>
773
774The front page opens, familiar as a friend's living room. A frame-grab
775from #48 serves as backdrop, dim and almost monochrome, no characters in
776view. This is one of the sequences that generate comparisons with
777Tarkovsky. She only knows Tarkovsky from stills, really, though she did
778once fall asleep during a screening of The Stalker, going under on an
779endless pan, the camera aimed straight down, in close-up, at a puddle on
780a ruined mosaic floor. But she is not one of those who think that much
781will be gained by analysis of the maker's imagined influences. The cult
782of the footage is rife with subcults, claiming every possible influence.
783Truffaut, Peckinpah -- The Peckinpah people, among the least likely, are
784still waiting for the guns to be drawn.
785
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786=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
787
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788L<Announced on 2010-05-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160109.html>
789
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790"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
791many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
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792Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs --
793what we might call ice-one -- is only one of several types of ice.
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794Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
795had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
796...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
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797"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- a crystal as
798hard as this desk -- with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
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799degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
800and-thirty degrees."
801
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802=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
803
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804L<Announced on 2010-05-13 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160066.html>
805
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806San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
807the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
808hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
809of the Free World."
810
811Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
812level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
813harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
814exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
815
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816=head2 v5.12.1-RC1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
817
818L<Announced on 2010-05-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg159971.html>
4363636d 819
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820Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
821the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
822just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
823a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
824it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
825of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
826common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
827bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
828
829 Around and around and around we spin,
830 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
831
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832=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
833
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834L<Announced on 2010-04-12 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158820.html>
835
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836'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
837not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
838your cat grins like that?'
839
840'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
841
842She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
843jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
844and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
845
846'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
847that cats COULD grin.'
848
849'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
850
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851=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
852
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853L<Announced on 2010-04-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158720.html>
854
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855'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
856have got altered.'
857
858'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
859there was silence for some minutes.
860
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861=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
862
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863L<Announced on 2010-04-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158567.html>
864
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865'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
866always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
867rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
868yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
869can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
870kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
871
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872=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
873
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874L<Announced on 2010-04-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158346.html>
875
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876At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
877called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
878dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
879in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
880sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
881
882'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
883is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
884the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
885to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
886accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
d517a16a 887Mercia and Northumbria --"'
4363636d 888
2831a86c 889=head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no announcement
4363636d 890
2831a86c 891Available on CPAN since 2010-04-01.
4363636d 892
3e340399 893=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
4363636d 894
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895L<Announced on 2010-03-29 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg158060.html>
896
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897So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
898hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
899making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
900picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
901close by her.
902
903There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
904VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
905dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
906occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
907it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
908OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
909Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
910never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
911take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
912after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
913rabbit-hole under the hedge.
914
915In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
916in the world she was to get out again.
917
0e6b8110 918=head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph
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4363636d 921
3e340399 922=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
4363636d 923
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924L<Announced on 2010-02-21 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/02/msg156957.html>
925
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926 A little child, a limber elf,
927 Singing, dancing to itself,
928 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
929 That always finds, and never seeks,
930 Makes such a vision to the sight
931 As fills a father's eyes with light;
932 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
933 Upon his heart, that he at last
934 Must needs express his love's excess
935 With words of unmeant bitterness.
936 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
937 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
938 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
939 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
940 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
941 At each wild word to feel within
942 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
943 And what, if in a world of sin
944 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
945 Such giddiness of heart and brain
946 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
947 So talks as it's most used to do.
948
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949=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
950
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951L<Announced on 2010-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/01/msg155848.html>
952
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953And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
954into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
955mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
956question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
957hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
958louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
959who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
960worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
961done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
962
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963=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
964
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965L<Announced on 2009-12-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/12/msg154838.html>
966
4363636d 967"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
d517a16a 968course you'd druther work -- wouldn't you? Course you would!"
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969
970Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
971
972"Why ain't that work?"
973
974Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
975is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
976
977"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
978
979The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
980to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
981
982That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
983swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
984-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
985watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
986absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
987
4363636d
DG
988=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
989
f0ccce9b 990L<Announced on 2009-11-20 by Léon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/11/msg153646.html>
2831a86c 991
4363636d
DG
992The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
993at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
994streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
995the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
996live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
997colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
998as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
999wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
1000prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
1001however much they're into colour.
1002
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DG
1003=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
1004
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ZA
1005L<Announced on 2009-10-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg152360.html>
1006
4363636d
DG
1007Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
1008and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
1009word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
1010disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
1011everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
1012on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
1013that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
1014glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
1015war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Mil
1016presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
1017for more hazardous assignment.
1018
4363636d
DG
1019=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
1020
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1021L<Announced on 2009-10-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg151376.html>
1022
4363636d
DG
1023Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
1024streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
1025trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
1026to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
1027about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
1028of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
1029facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
1030explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
1031Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
1032people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
1033work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
1034their art.
1035
4363636d
DG
1036=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
1037
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1038L<Announced on 2009-09-23 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150172.html>
1039
4363636d
DG
1040'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
1041the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
1042Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
1043Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
1044responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
1045Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
1046Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
1047Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
1048Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
1049Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
1050
1051'Can they all type?' I joked.
1052
1053'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
1054McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
1055
1056I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
1057'We could have opened an agency.'
1058
1059Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
1060Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
1061amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
1062all say that, do they?' I ventured.
1063
1064Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
1065replied. 'Not quite all.'
1066
0e6b8110 1067=head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph
4363636d 1068
2831a86c 1069L<Announced on 2009-08-18 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150015.html>
3e340399 1070
0e6b8110 1071=head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph
4363636d 1072
2831a86c 1073L<Announced on 2009-08-06 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg149498.html>
3e340399 1074
c7bed260 1075=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
4363636d 1076
c7bed260
Z
1077L<Announced on 2007-12-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/12/msg131636.html>
1078
1079He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
1080he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
1081out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
1082noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
1083must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
1084number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
1085did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
1086
1087=head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph
1088
1089L<Announced on 2007-11-25 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130978.html>
1090
1091=head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph
1092
1093L<Announced on 2007-11-17 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130653.html>
1094
1095=head2 v5.9.5 - no announcement
1096
1097L<Pre-announced on 2007-07-07 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/07/msg126358.html>,
1098available on CPAN with same date, but never actually announced.
1099
1100=head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph
1101
1102L<Announced on 2006-08-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/08/msg115782.html>
1103
1104=head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph
1105
1106L<Announced on 2006-01-28 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109086.html>
1107
1108=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
1109
1110L<Announced on 2005-04-01 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=20050401150702.2b4a70d5@grubert.mandrakesoft.com>
1111
1112This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
1113gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
1114technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
1115about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
1116bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
1117paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
1118in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
1119electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
1120picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
1121to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
1122technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
1123getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
1124sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
1125it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
1126conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
1127
1128"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
1129that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
1130`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
1131
1132"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
1133one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
1134flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
1135everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
1136make you flip?
1137
1138=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
1139
1140L<Announced on 2004-03-16 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/8587d77c565f2d43>
1141
1142Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
1143
1144=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
1145
1146L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/63a8c34385de82a1>
1147
1148What of October, that ambiguous month
4363636d 1149
4363636d
DG
1150=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
1151
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1152L<Announced on 2008-12-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142571.html>
1153
4363636d
DG
1154Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
1155proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
1156the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
1157anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
1158how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
1159
1160'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
1161
1162This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
1163that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
1164
1165'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
1166expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
1167anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
1168sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
1169
1170This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
1171basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
1172policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
1173disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
1174the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
1175Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
1176and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
1177Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
1178
1179In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
1180reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
1181
1182I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
1183Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
1184for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
1185had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
1186work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
1187the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
1188left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
1189pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
1190the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
1191the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
1192
1193I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
1194publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
1195Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
1196
1197So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
1198pushing to increase the membership?
1199
1200'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
1201more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
1202futile and impotent it becomes.'
1203
1204This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
1205
1206Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
1207diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
1208
4363636d
DG
1209=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
1210
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ZA
1211L<Announced on 2008-12-06 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/11/msg142422.html>
1212
4363636d
DG
1213There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
1214about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
1215four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
1216anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
1217thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
1218
1219Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
1220and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
1221press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
1222obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
1223produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
1224this draft...'
1225
1226I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
1227hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
1228incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
1229
1230'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
1231redundancy payments as well.'
1232
1233'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
1234it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
1235
1236'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
1237
4363636d
DG
1238=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
1239
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1240L<Announced on 2008-11-10 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/11/msg141515.html>
1241
4363636d
DG
1242A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
1243was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
1244and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
1245jets and all.
1246
1247I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
1248
1249I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
1250Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
1251specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
1252the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
1253jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
1254grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
1255in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
1256
1257While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
1258taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
1259me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
1260sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
1261three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
1262plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
1263occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
1264were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
1265
1266And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
1267were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
1268
1269Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
1270name like Charlie Umtali?
1271
1272I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
1273know something about our official visitor.
1274
1275Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
1276has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
1277car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
1278to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
1279knew little of his background.
1280
1281I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
1282Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
1283first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
1284
1285Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
1286
1287'Why?' I enquired.
1288
1289'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
1290to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
1291never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
1292
1293Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
1294that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
1295
1296In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
1297where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
1298revolving door and comes out in front.'
1299
1300'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
1301
1302'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
1303
1304'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
1305
4363636d
DG
1306=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
1307
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1308L<Announced on 2006-02-01 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/28caf52e41ebe723>
1309
51caa79e
DG
1310 It's not that easy bein' green
1311 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
4363636d 1312 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
51caa79e
DG
1313 Or something much more colorful like that
1314
1315 It's not easy bein' green
4363636d 1316 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
51caa79e
DG
1317 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
1318 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
1319 Or stars in the sky
1320
1321 But green's the color of Spring
1322 And green can be cool and friendly-like
1323 And green can be big like an ocean
1324 Or important like a mountain
4363636d
DG
1325 Or tall like a tree
1326
1327 When green is all there is to be
1328 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
1329 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
1330 And I think it's what I want to be
1331
4363636d
DG
1332=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
1333
2831a86c
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1334L<Announced on 2006-01-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/d231fc554af8cc51>
1335
1336Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
51caa79e 1337
2831a86c 1338Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
4363636d 1339
4363636d
DG
1340=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
1341
2831a86c
ZA
1342L<Announced on 2005-05-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/9a545704a0062f16>
1343
4363636d
DG
1344And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
1345hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
1346cat.
1347
1348Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
51caa79e 1349the wolf? What then?"
4363636d 1350
4363636d
DG
1351=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
1352
2831a86c
ZA
1353L<Announced on 2005-05-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg100711.html>
1354
4363636d
DG
1355And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
1356bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
1357round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
1358
1359In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
1360gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
1361climbed up the high stone wall.
1362
1363One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
1364stretched out over the wall.
1365
1366Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
1367Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
1368take care that he doesn't catch you!".
1369
1370The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
1371snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
1372
1373How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
51caa79e 1374the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
4363636d 1375
4363636d
DG
1376=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
1377
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ZA
1378L<Announced on 2004-11-28 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=20041128000836.GA304@Bagpuss.unfortu.net>
1379
4363636d 1380"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
51caa79e 1381you."
4363636d 1382
51caa79e 1383"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
4363636d
DG
1384
1385"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
1386and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
51caa79e 1387to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
4363636d 1388
51caa79e 1389"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
4363636d
DG
1390
1391"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
1392planting it."
1393
1394"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
51caa79e 1395grow up into a beehive."
4363636d 1396
51caa79e 1397Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
4363636d
DG
1398
1399"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
1400Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
51caa79e 1401wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
4363636d 1402
51caa79e 1403Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
4363636d
DG
1404
1405"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
1406how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
51caa79e 1407and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
4363636d 1408
4363636d
DG
1409=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
1410
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ZA
1411L<Announced on 2004-11-11 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg95786.html>
1412
4363636d
DG
1413"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
1414
1415"Hunting," said Pooh.
1416
1417"Hunting what?"
1418
1419"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
1420
1421"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
1422
1423"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
1424
1425"What do you think you'll answer?"
1426
1427"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
1428"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
1429you see there?"
1430
1431"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
1432excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
1433
4363636d
DG
1434=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
1435
2831a86c
ZA
1436L<Announced on 2004-07-19 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/68340e2e4c39222c>
1437
4363636d
DG
1438Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
1439ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
1440bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
1441waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
1442droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
1443hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
1444longbow.
1445
1446In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
1447often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
1448placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
1449likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
1450may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
1451Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
1452Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
1453farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
1454grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
51caa79e 1455T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
4363636d 1456
4363636d
DG
1457=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
1458
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1459L<Announced on 2004-07-09 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/f92175725af7a5ad>
1460
4363636d
DG
1461Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
1462ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
1463sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
1464pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
1465shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
1466
1467The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
1468Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
51caa79e 1469Caledonia and South America.
4363636d 1470
4363636d
DG
1471=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
1472
38183302 1473L<Announced on 2004-07-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/ca6ce4a7ed9f219c?pli=1>
2831a86c 1474
4363636d
DG
1475The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
1476often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
1477large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
1478and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
1479spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
1480year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
1481may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
1482
1483It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
1484branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
1485of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
1486that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
1487
1488Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
1489other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
1490acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
1491mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
1492
1493It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
51caa79e 1494heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
4363636d 1495
4363636d
DG
1496=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
1497
2831a86c
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1498L<Announced on 2004-04-22 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/c7333acf03ef4015>
1499
4363636d
DG
1500 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
1501 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
1502 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
1503 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
1504
1505 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
1506 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
1507 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
1508 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
1509 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
1510 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
1511 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
1512 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
1513
4363636d
DG
1514 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
1515 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
1516
4363636d
DG
1517
1518=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
1519
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ZA
1520L<Announced on 2004-04-16 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/84f6fdd73cc56a1b>
1521
4363636d
DG
1522 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
1523 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
1524 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
1525 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
1526
1527 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
1528 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
1529 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
1530 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
1531 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
1532 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!
1533
4363636d
DG
1534=head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
1535
2831a86c
ZA
1536L<Announced on 2004-04-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/e500353440769ebf>
1537
4363636d
DG
1538 There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
1539 When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
1540 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
1541 We must find him of the train can't start.'
1542 All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
1543 They are searching high and low,
1544 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
1545 Then the Night Mail just can't go'
1546 At 11.42 then the signal's overdue
1547 And the passengers are frantic to a man--
1548 Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear:
1549 He's been busy in the luggage van!
1550 He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
1551 And the the signal goes 'All Clear!'
1552 And we're off at last of the northern part
1553 Of the Northern Hemisphere!
1554
4363636d
DG
1555=head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode"
1556
2831a86c
ZA
1557L<Announced on 2004-01-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/968fb8d71e23af69>
1558
51caa79e
DG
1559 We are the music makers,
1560 And we are the dreamers of dreams,
1561 Wandering by lonely sea-breakers,
1562 And sitting by desolate streams; --
1563 World-losers and world-forsakers,
1564 On whom the pale moon gleams:
1565 Yet we are the movers and shakers
1566 Of the world for ever, it seems.
4363636d 1567
4363636d
DG
1568=head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance"
1569
2831a86c
ZA
1570L<Announced on 2004-01-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/5ced50bebcd11c96>
1571
4363636d
DG
1572 There may be trouble ahead,
1573 But while there's music and moonlight,
1574 And love and romance,
1575 Let's face the music and dance.
1576
1577 Before the fiddlers have fled,
1578 Before they ask us to pay the bill,
1579 And while we still have that chance,
1580 Let's face the music and dance.
1581
1582 Soon, we'll be without the moon,
1583 Humming a different tune, and then,
1584
1585 There may be teardrops to shed,
1586 So while there's music and moonlight,
1587 And love and romance,
1588 Let's face the music and dance.
1589
4363636d
DG
1590=head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"
1591
2831a86c
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1592L<Announced on 2003-11-06 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/4714574f93967673>
1593
4363636d
DG
1594 Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins!
1595 Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
1596 Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail!
1597 Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
1598 Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
1599 Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough?
1600
4363636d
DG
1601 Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
1602 Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me,
1603 For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
1604 And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
1605
1606 O my brave soul!
1607 O farther farther sail!
1608 O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God?
1609 O farther, farther, farther sail!
1610
4363636d
DG
1611=head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle/John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty"
1612
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ZA
1613L<Announced on 2003-11-03 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/7669de5804b792f6>
1614
4363636d
DG
1615 It's fun to charter an accountant
1616 And sail the wide accountan-cy,
1617 To find, explore the funds offshore
1618 And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
1619
4363636d
DG
1620=head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies"
1621
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1622L<Announced on 2003-10-28 by Nicholas Clark|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/83680ef3bbf7378d>
1623
4363636d
DG
1624 They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
1625 In a Sieve they went to sea:
1626 In spite of all their friends could say,
1627 On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
1628 In a Sieve they went to sea!
1629 And when the Sieve turned round and round,
1630 And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
1631 They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big,
1632 But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig!
1633 In a Sieve we'll go to sea!"
1634
1635 Far and few, far and few,
1636 Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
1637 Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
1638 And they went to sea in a Sieve.
1639
2831a86c
ZA
1640=head2 v5.8.1 - epigraph same as v5.7.1
1641
1642L<Announced on 2003-09-25 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82678.html>
1643
1644=head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"
1645
1646L<Announced on 2003-09-22 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82476.html>
1647
1648No matter what she did with her hair it took about
1649three minutes for it to tangle itself up again,
1650like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which,
1651no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil
1652overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
1653
1654=head2 v5.8.1-RC4 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
1655
1656L<Announced on 2003-08-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/08/msg79184.html>
1657
1658Grand Viziers were /always/ scheming megalomaniacs.
1659It was probably in the job description: "Are you a
1660devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good,
1661then you can be my most trusted minister."
1662
1663=head2 v5.8.1-RC3 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
1664
1665L<Announced on 2003-07-30 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg79048.html>
1666
1667Lord Hong had a mind like a knife, although possibly
1668a knife with a curved blade.
1669
1670=head2 v5.8.1-RC2 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
1671
1672L<Announced on 2003-07-11 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78102.html>
1673
1674Many an ancient lord's last words had been, "You can't kill
1675me because I've got magic aaargh."
1676
1677=head2 v5.8.1-RC1 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
1678
1679L<Announced on 2003-07-10 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78009.html>
1680
1681Cohen was familiar with city gates. He'd broken down a number
1682in his time, by battering ram, siege gun, and on one occasion
1683with his head.
1684
1685But the gates of Hunghung were pretty damn good gates. They
1686weren't like the gates of Ankh-Morpork, which were usually wide
1687open to attract the spending customer and whose concession to
1688defense was the sign "Thank You For Not Attacking Our City.
1689Bonum Diem." These things were big and made of metal and there
1690was a guardhouse and a squad of unhelpful men in black armor.
1691
2831a86c
ZA
1692=head2 v5.8.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
1693
1694L<Announced on 2002-07-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63720.html>
1695
1696There was the faint sound of footsteps.
1697"Chap with a whip got as far as the big sharp spikes last week,"
1698said the low priest.
1699There was a sound like the flushing of a very old dry lavatory.
1700The footsteps stopped. The High Priest smiled to himself.
1701"Right," he said. "See your two pebbles and raise you two pebbles."
1702The low priest threw down his cards. "Double Onion," he said.
1703The High Priest looked down suspiciously.
1704The low priest consulted a scrap of paper. "That's three hundred
1705thousand, nine hundred and sixty-four pebbles you owe me," he said.
1706There was the sound of footsteps. The priests exchanged glances.
1707"Haven't had one for poisoned-dart alley for quite some time,"
1708said the High Priest.
1709"Five says he makes it", said the low priest. "You're on."
1710There was a faint clatter of metal points on stone.
1711"It's a shame to take your pebbles."
1712There were footsteps again.
1713
1714=head2 v5.8.0-RC3 - no epigraph
1715
1716L<Announced on 2002-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63234.html>
1717
1718=head2 v5.8.0-RC2 - no epigraph
1719
1720L<Announced on 2002-06-21 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg62013.html>
1721
1722=head2 v5.8.0-RC1 - no epigraph
1723
1724L<Announced on 2002-06-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg60317.html>
1725
1726=head2 v5.7.3 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
1727
1728L<Announced on 2002-03-04 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/03/msg53652.html>
1729
1730Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong.
1731No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always
1732got there first, and is waiting for it.
1733
1734=head2 v5.7.2 - Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods"
1735
1736L<Announced on 2001-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/07/msg40370.html>
1737
1738His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools --
1739the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up
1740all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any
1741bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing
1742you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
1743
1744=head2 v5.7.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
1745
1746L<Announced on 2001-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33851.html>
4363636d 1747
4363636d
DG
1748"What happens next?" asked Twoflower.
1749
1750Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently.
1751
1752"Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be
1753flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple
1754arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders
1755and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then
1756I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then
1757I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl
1758will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll
1759liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure."
1760Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the
1761ceiling, whistling tunelessly.
1762
1763"All that?" said Twoflower.
1764
1765"Usually."
1766
c7bed260
Z
1767=head2 v5.7.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Moving Pictures"
1768
1769L<Announced on 2000-09-02 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/09/msg17730.html>
1770
1771The Librarian had seen many weird things in his time,
1772but that had to be the 57th strangest.
1773[footnote: he had a tidy mind]
1774
1775=head2 v5.6.2 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
1776
1777L<Announced on 2003-11-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/deb8cb9ad918716f>
1778
1779When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this
1780sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of
1781a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see
1782what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not
1783long in this instance.
1784
1785=head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
1786
1787L<Announced on 2003-11-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/e3d4acc7a8dd3ce5>
1788
1789"Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?"
1790
2831a86c 1791=head2 v5.6.1 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", Riddles in the Dark
4363636d 1792
2831a86c 1793L<Announced on 2001-04-08 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33823.html>
4363636d 1794
2831a86c
ZA
1795`What have I got in my pocket?' he said aloud. He was talking to
1796himself, but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully
1797upset.
4363636d 1798
2831a86c
ZA
1799`Not fair! not fair!' he hissed. `It isn't fair, my precious, is it,
1800to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?'
4363636d 1801
2831a86c
ZA
1802Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask
1803stuck to his question, `What have I got in my pocket?' he said
1804louder.
4363636d 1805
2831a86c
ZA
1806`S-s-s-s-s,' hissed Gollum. `It must give us three guesseses,
1807my precious, three guesseses.'
4363636d 1808
2831a86c 1809=head2 v5.6.1-foolish - no epigraph
4363636d 1810
2831a86c 1811L<Announced on 2001-08-04 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33421.html>
3e340399 1812
2831a86c 1813=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL3 - I can't find the announcement
4363636d 1814
a4b0381d
MS
1815No announcement available.
1816
2831a86c 1817=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL2 - no epigraph
4363636d 1818
2831a86c 1819L<Announced on 2001-01-31 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/01/msg29934.html>
4363636d 1820
2831a86c 1821=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL1 - no epigraph
4363636d 1822
2831a86c 1823L<Announced on 2000-12-18 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/12/msg27738.html>
4363636d 1824
2831a86c 1825=head2 v5.6.0 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", The Last Stage
a4b0381d 1826
2831a86c
ZA
1827L<Announced on 2000-03-23 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10341.html>
1828
1829 The dragon is withered,
1830 His bones are now crumbled;
1831 His armour is shivered,
1832 His splendour is humbled!
1833 Though sword shall be rusted,
1834 And throne and crown perish
1835 With strength that men trusted
1836 And wealth that they cherish,
1837 Here grass is still growing,
1838 And leaves are a yet swinging,
1839 The white water flowing,
1840 And elves are yet singing
1841 Come! Tra-la-la-lally!
1842 Come back to the valley.
1843
2831a86c
ZA
1844=head2 v5.6.0-RC3 - no epigraph
1845
1846L<Announced on 2000-03-22 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10140.html>
4363636d 1847
c7bed260
Z
1848=head2 v5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph
1849
1850L<Announced on 2009-02-16 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/02/msg144227.html>
1851
1852=head2 v5.005_04 - no epigraph
1853
1854L<Announced on 2004-03-01 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/6c240ad0b189cb47>
1855
1856=head2 v5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"
1857
1858L<Announced on 2004-02-19 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/83e5421124a7b49d>
1859
1860The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise
1861the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they
1862never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use
1863them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council
1864chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would
1865run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster
1866and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them,
1867and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up
1868and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake
1869the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers
1870fall.
1871
1872=head2 v5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
1873
1874L<Announced on 2004-02-05 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/6aaeb6ec699bd116>
1875
1876Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
1877plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
1878going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
1879she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked
1880at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
1881cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
1882hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she
1883passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
1884disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
1885of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
1886she fell past it.
1887
1888=head2 v1.0_16 - Johan Vromans, extemporarily
1889
1890L<Announced on 2003-12-18 by Richard Clamp|http://groups.google.com/group/perl.perl5.porters/msg/9281dc6194d15940>
1891
4363636d
DG
1892=head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
1893
0e6b8110 1894This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs
4363636d
DG
1895on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled
1896L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406>
1897by ysth.
1898
1899=cut
3e340399 1900
4363636d 1901# vim:tw=72: