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Update epigraph, link forthcoming
[perl5.git] / Porting / epigraphs.pod
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3=head1 NAME
4
0e6b8110 5perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs
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6
7=head1 DESCRIPTION
8
0e6b8110 9Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt
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10from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or release
11manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for posterity,
12and also links to the release announcements in mailing list archives.
4363636d 13
de6a5728 14I<Note>: these have also been referred to as I<epigrams>, but the
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15definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used.
16Consult your favorite dictionary for details.
17
18=head1 EPIGRAPHS
4363636d 19
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20=head2 v5.26.0-RC2 - Richard Condon, The Manchurian Candidate
21
22 Amateur psychiatric prognosis can be fascinating when there is
23 absolutely nothing else to do.
24
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25=head2 v5.26.0-RC1 - Thomas Paine, Common Sense
26
27L<Announced on 2017-05-11 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/05/msg244337.html>
28
29 A long habit of not thinking a thing WRONG, gives it a superficial
30 appearance of being RIGHT, and raises at first a formidable outcry in
31 defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more
32 converts than reason.
33
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34=head2 v5.25.12 - Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
35
78d5fac0 36L<Announced on 2017-04-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/04/msg244146.html>
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37
38 I have told my sons that they are not under any circumstances to take
39 part in massacres, and that the news of massacres of enemies is not
40 to fill them with satisfaction or glee.
41
42 I have also told them not to work for companies which make massacre
43 machinery, and to express contempt for people who think we need
44 machinery like that.
45
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46=head2 v5.25.11 - Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow
47
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48L<Announced on 2017-03-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/03/msg243624.html>
49
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50 Subjective confidence in a judgment is not a reasoned evaluation of
51 the probability that this judgment is correct. Confidence is a
52 feeling, which reflects the coherence of the information and the
53 cognitive ease of processing it. It is wise to take admissions of
54 uncertainty seriously, but declarations of high confidence mainly
55 tell you that an individual has constructed a coherent story in his
56 mind, not necessarily that the story is true.
57
fd4b847f 58=head2 v5.25.10 - Erich Fried, 1968
59
60L<Announced on 2017-02-20 by Renee Bäcker|https://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/02/msg243173.html>
61
62 He who wants the world to remain as it is
63 doesn't want it to remain.
64
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65=head2 v5.25.9 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie-the-Pooh", 1926
66
67L<Announced on 2017-01-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/01/msg242405.html>
68
69 Pooh always liked a little something at eleven o'clock in the
70 morning, and he was very glad to see Rabbit getting out the plates
71 and mugs; and when Rabbit said, "Honey or condensed milk with
72 your bread?" he was so excited that he said, "Both," and then,
73 so as not to seem greedy, he added, "But don't bother about the
74 bread, please."
75
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76=head2 v5.25.8 - Langston Hughes, So long
77
7e3e9d6d 78L<Announced on 2016-12-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/12/msg241739.html>
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79
80 So long
81 is in the song
82 and it's in the way you're gone
83 but it's like a foreign language
84 in my mind
85 and maybe was I blind
86 I could not see
87 and would not know
88 you're gone so long
89 so long.
90
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91=head2 v5.25.7 - J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Silmarillion"
92
93L<Announced on 2016-11-20 by Chad 'Exodist' Granum|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/11/msg241120.html>
94
95 Of Beren and Lúthien
96
97 Among the tales of sorrow and of ruin that come down to us from the darkness of
98 those days there are yet some in which amid weeping there is joy and under the
99 shadow of death light that endures. And of these histories most fair still in
100 the ears of the Elves is the tale of Beren and Lúthien. Of their lives was made
101 the Lay of Leithian, Release from Bondage, which is the longest save one of the
102 songs concerning the world of old; but here is told in fewer words and without
103 song.
104
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105=head2 v5.25.6 - Alan Warner, "The Sopranos"
106
107L<Announced on 2016-10-10 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/10/msg240406.html>
108
109 I'm up on all the pop trivia, says the guy with the stud in his tongue.
110 Are you?
111 Yes. Do you know who he lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen is?
112 Let me guess, is he called Echo?
113 Good guess but no, anyway when they played Glastonbury it was so
114 muddy he had two roadies to hold up a binliner on each of his legs so
115 they wouldn't get covered in mud.
116 That's what being rich and famous is all about, having someone
117 else hold up your binliners on each leg when you're wandering across
118 a sea of shite.
119 Do you know what Sammy Davis Junior said being black and famous in
120 America meant?
121 No.
122 He said being black and famous in America meant he could be
123 refused entry to exclusive clubs and restaurants that other people
124 could only ever dream of going to. Do you know Michael Stipe likes to
125 send his remote control toy cars onto stage while his support band are
126 playing to freak them out?
127 Who's Michael Stipe?
128 You're not really a pop trivia person, are you, Kylah?
129 No, I'm not, Stephen.
130
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131=head2 v5.25.5 - Philip K. Dick, VALIS
132
133L<Announced on 2016-09-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/09/msg239887.html>
134
135 We hypostatize information into objects. Rearrangement of objects is
136 change in the content of the information; the message has changed.
137 This is a language which we have lost the ability to read. We ourselves
138 are a part of this language; changes in us are changes in the content
139 of the information. We ourselves are information-rich; information
140 enters us, is processed and is then projected outward once more, now
141 in an altered form. We are not aware that we are doing this, that in
142 fact this is all we are doing
143
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144=head2 v5.25.4 - Terry Pratchett, "Truckers"
145
146L<Announced on 2016-08-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/08/msg239191.html>
147
148 Concerning Nomes and Time
149
150 Nomes are small. On the whole, small creatures don't live for a long
151 time. But perhaps they do live fast.
152
153 Let me explain.
154
155 One of the shortest-lived creatures on the planet Earth is the adult
156 common mayfly. It lasts for one day. The longest-living things are
157 bristlecone pine trees, at 4,700 years and still counting.
158
159 This may seem tough on the mayflies. But the important thing is not
160 how long your life is, but how long it seems.
161
162 To a mayfly, a single hour may last as long as a century. Perhaps
163 old mayflies sit around complaining about how life this minute isn't a
164 patch on the good old minutes of long ago, when the world was
165 young and the sun seemed so much brighter and larvae showed you a
166 bit of respect. Whereas the trees, which are not famous to their
167 quick reactions, may just have time to notice the way the sky keeps
168 flickering before the dry rot and woodworm set in.
169
170 It's all a sort of relativity. The faster you live, the more time
171 stretches out. To a nome, a year lasts as long as ten years does to a
172 human. Remember it. Don't let it concern you. They don't. They don't
173 even know.
174
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175=head2 v5.25.3 - Edward Lear, ed. Vivien Noakes, "The Complete Nonsense and Other Verse": The Dong with a Luminous Nose
176
177L<Announced on 2016-07-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/07/msg238158.html>
178
179 When awful darkness and silence reign
180 Over the great Gromboolian plain,
181 Through the long, long wintry nights; -
182 When the angry breakers roar
183 As they beat on the rocky shore; -
184 When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
185 Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore: -
186
187 Then, through the vast and gloomy dark,
188 There moves what seems a fiery spark,
189 A lonely spark with silvery rays
190 Piercing the coal-black night, -
191 A Meteor strange and bright: -
192 Hither and thither the vision strays,
193 A single lurid light.
194
195 Slowly it wanders, - pauses, - creeps, -
196 Anon it sparkles, - flashes and leaps;
197 And ever as onward it gleaming goes
198 A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
199 And those who watch at that midnight hour
200 From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower,
201 Cry, as the wild light passes along, -
202 'The Dong! - the Dong!
203 The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
204 The Dong! the Dong!
205 The Dong with a luminous Nose!'
206
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207=head2 v5.25.2 - Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip "Waiting For The Beat To Kick In"
208
209L<Announced on 2016-06-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/06/msg237274.html>
210
211 Waiting for the beat to kick in
212 But it never does
213 Waiting for my feet to grow wings
214 That lift me above
215 All of these tiresome things
216 That we know and love
217 Waiting for the beat to kick in
218 But it never does
219
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220=head2 v5.25.1 - Eli Pariser, "The Filter Bubble"
221
5f602b3b 222L<Announced on 2016-05-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236566.html>
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223
224Imagine that you're a smart high school student on the low end of the social
225totem pole. You're alienated from adult authority, but unlike many teenagers,
226you're also alienated from the power structures of your peers -- an existence
227that can feel lonely and peripheral. Systems and equations are intuitive, but
228people aren't -- social signals are confusing and messy, difficult to interpret.
229
230Then you discover code. You may be powerless at the lunch table, but code
231gives you power over an infinitely malleable world and opens the door to a
232symbolic system that's perfectly clear and ordered. The jostling for position
233and status fades away. The nagging parental voices disappear. There's just a
234clean, white page for you to fill, an opportunity to build a better place, a
235home, from the ground up.
236
237No wonder you're a geek.
238
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239=head2 v5.25.0 - Robert Frost, "The Trial by Existence"
240
241L<Announced on 2016-05-09 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236244.html>
242
243 Even the bravest that are slain
244 Shall not dissemble their surprise
245 On waking to find valor reign,
246 Even as on earth, in paradise;
247 And where they sought without the sword
248 Wide fields of asphodel fore’er,
249 To find that the utmost reward
250 Of daring should be still to dare.
251
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252=head2 v5.24.1 - Charles Dodgson [as "Lewis Carroll"], "The Hunting of the Snark", Fit 4: The Hunting
253
254L<Announced on 2017-01-14 by Steve Hay|https://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/01/msg242259.html>
255
256 The Bellman looked uffish, and wrinkled his brow.
257 'If only you'd spoken before!
258 It's excessively awkward to mention it now,
259 With the Snark, so to speak, at the door!
260
261 'We should all of us grieve, as you well may believe,
262 If you never were met with again -
263 But surely, my man, when the voyage began,
264 You might have suggested it then?
265
266 'It's excessively awkward to mention it now -
267 As I think I've already remarked.'
268 And the man they called 'Hi!' replied, with a sigh,
269 'I informed you the day we embarked.
270
271 'You may charge me with murder - or want of sense -
272 (We are all of us weak at times):
273 But the slightest approach to a false pretence
274 Was never among my crimes!
275
276 'I said it in Hebrew - I said it in Dutch -
277 I said it in German and Greek:
278 But I wholly forgot (and it vexes me much)
279 That English is what you speak!'
280
281 ''Tis a pitiful tale,' said the Bellman, whose face
282 Had grown longer at every word:
283 'But, now that you've stated the whole of your case,
284 More debate would be simply absurd.
285
286 'The rest of my speech' (he exclaimed to his men)
287 'You shall hear when I've leisure to speak it.
288 But the Snark is at hand, let me tell you again!
289 'Tis your glorious duty to seek it!
290
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291=head2 v5.24.1-RC5 - John Milton, ed. Gordon Campbell, "Paradise Regained", Book IV
292
293L<Announced on 2017-01-02 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/01/msg242016.html>
294
295 Thus passed the night so foul, till Morning fair
296 Came forth with pilgrim steps, in amice grey;
297 Who with her radiant finger stilled the roar
298 Of thunder, chased the clouds, and laid the winds,
299 And grisly spectres, which the fiend had raised
300 To tempt the Son of God with terrors dire.
301 And now the sun with more effectual beams
302 Had cheered the face of earth, and dried the wet
303 From drooping plant, or dropping tree; the birds,
304 Who all things now behold more fresh and green,
305 After a night of storm so ruinous,
306 Cleared up their choicest notes in bush and spray,
307 To gratulate the sweet return of morn.
308
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309=head2 v5.24.1-RC4 - John Milton, ed. Gordon Campbell, "Paradise Lost", Book II
310
311L<Announced on 2016-10-12 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/10/msg240224.html>
312
313 Before the gates there sat
314 On either side a formidable shape;
315 The one seemed woman to the waste, and fair,
316 But ended foul in many a scaly fold,
317 Voluminous and vast -- a serpent armed
318 With mortal sting; about her middle round
319 A cry of hell hounds never ceasing barked
320 With wide Cerberean mouths full loud, and rung
321 A hideous peal; yet, when they list, would creep,
322 If aught disturbed their noise, into her womb,
323 And kennel there; yet there still barked and howled
324 Within unseen. Far less abhorred than these
325 Vexed Scylla, bathing in the sea that parts
326 Calabria from the hoarse Trinacrian shore;
327 Nor uglier follow the night-hag, when, called
328 In secret, riding through the air she comes,
329 Lured with the smell of infant blood, to dance
330 With Lapland witches, while the labouring moon
331 Eclipses at their charms. The other shape --
332 If shape it might be called that shape had none
333 Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb;
334 Or substance might be called that shadow seemed,
335 For each seemed either -- black it stood as night,
336 Fierce as ten Furies, terrible as hell,
337 And shook a dreadful dart: what seemed his head
338 The likeness of a kingly crown had on.
339 Satan was now at hand, and from his seat
340 The monster moving onward came as fast
341 With horrid strides; hell trembled as he strode.
342
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343=head2 v5.24.1-RC3 - Dante Alighieri, trans. Dorothy L. Sayers and Barbara Reynolds, "The Divine Comedy", Cantica III: Paradise, Canto XXIII
344
345L<Announced on 2016-08-11 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/08/msg238909.html>
346
347 A bird within the bower of her delight,
348 Quiet upon the nest with her sweet brood
349 Throughout the dark concealment of the night,
350
351 Anxious to look on them and gather food -
352 No weary task for her, for as at play
353 Blithely she toils to seek her fledglings' good -
354
355 Before the time, upon the topmost spray
356 Eager awaits the sun and on the East
357 Fixes her wakeful eye till break of day.
358
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359=head2 v5.24.1-RC2 - Dante Alighieri, trans. Dorothy L. Sayers, "The Divine Comedy", Cantica II: Purgatory, Canto X
360
361L<Announced on 2016-07-25 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/07/msg238269.html>
362
363 When we had crossed the threshold of that gate
364 Which the soul's evil loves put out of use,
365 Because they make the crooked path seem straight,
366
367 I heard its closing clang ring clamorous,
368 And had I then turned back my eyes to it
369 How could my fault have found the least excuse?
370
371 We had to climb now through a rocky slit
372 Which ran from side to side in many a swerve,
373 As runs the wave in onset and retreat.
374
375 "Now here," the master said, "we must observe
376 Some little caution, hugging now this wall,
377 Now that, upon the far side of the curve."
378
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379=head2 v5.24.1-RC1 - Dante Alighieri, trans. Dorothy L. Sayers, "The Divine Comedy", Cantica I: Hell, Canto XX
380
381L<Announced on 2016-07-17 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/07/msg238072.html>
382
383 New punishments behoves me sing in this
384 Twentieth canto of my first canticle,
385 Which tells of spirits sunk in the Abyss.
386
387 I now stood ready to observe the full
388 Extent of the new chasm thus laid bare,
389 Drenched as it was in tears most miserable.
390
391 Through the round vale I saw folk drawing near,
392 Weeping and silent, and at such slow pace
393 As Litany processions keep, up here.
394
395 And presently, when I had dropped my gaze
396 Lower than the head, I saw them strangely wried
397 'Twixt collar-bone and chin, so that the face
398
399 Of each was turned towards his own backside,
400 And backwards must they needs creep with their feet,
401 All power of looking forward being denied.
402
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403=head2 v5.24.0 - Robert Frost, "The Black Cottage"
404
405L<Announced on 2016-05-09 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236242.html>
406
407 As I sit here, and oftentimes, I wish
408 I could be monarch of a desert land
409 I could devote and dedicate forever
410 To the truths we keep coming back and back to.
411 So desert it would have to be, so walled
412 By mountain ranges half in summer snow,
413 No one would covet it or think it worth
414 The pains of conquering to force change on.
415 Scattered oases where men dwelt, but mostly
416 Sand dunes held loosely in tamarisk
417 Blown over and over themselves in idleness.
418 Sand grains should sugar in the natal dew
419 The babe born to the desert, the sand storm
420 Retard mid-waste my cowering caravans—
421
422 “There are bees in this wall.” He struck the clapboards,
423 Fierce heads looked out; small bodies pivoted.
424 We rose to go. Sunset blazed on the windows.
425
426=head2 v5.24.0-RC5 - The Mountain Goats, "No Children"
427
428L<Announced on 2016-05-04 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236198.html>
429
430 And I hope when you think of me years down the line
431 You can't find one good thing to say
432 And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
433 You'd stay the hell out of my way
434
435 I am drowning, there is no sign of land
436 You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand
437
438=head2 v5.24.0-RC4 - The Joker in "The Killing Joke"
439
440L<Announced on 2016-05-02 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236145.html>
441
442"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum…"
443
444=head2 v5.24.0-RC3 - Jesse Vincent
445
446L<Announced on 2016-04-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg236066.html>
447
448The Great Pumpkin is a Santa-Claus like figure. He does bring toys like
449Santa. But unlike Santa, who gives away toys because it's his job, he
450gives away toys because it's the right thing to do.
451
452=head2 v5.24.0-RC2 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
453
454L<Announced on 2016-04-23 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg235999.html>
455
456“How do you feel, Yossarian?”
457
458“Fine. No, I’m very frightened.”
459
460“That’s good,” said Major Danby. “It proves you’re still alive. It won’t
461be fun.”
462
463Yossarian started out. “Yes it will.”
464
465“I mean it, Yossarian. You’ll have to keep on your toes every minute of
466every day. They’ll bend heaven and earth to catch you.”
467
468“I’ll keep on my toes every minute.”
469
470“You’ll have to jump.”
471
472“I’ll jump.”
473
474“Jump!” Major Danby cried.
475
476Yossarian jumped.
477
478Nately’s [girl] was hiding just outside the door. The knife came down,
479missing him by inches, and he took off.
480
481=head2 v5.24.0-RC1 - Robert Frost, "The Census-Taker"
482
483L<Announced on 2016-04-14 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg235807.html>
484
485 Nothing was left to do that I could see
486 Unless to find that there was no one there
487 And declare to the cliffs too far for echo,
488 "The place is desert, and let whoso lurks
489 In silence, if in this he is aggrieved,
490 Break silence now or be forever silent.
491 Let him say why it should not be declared so."
492 The melancholy of having to count souls
493 Where they grow fewer and fewer every year
494 Is extreme where they shrink to none at all.
495 It must be I want life to go on living.
496
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497=head2 v5.23.9 - Tom Kitchin, "from nature to plate"
498
499L<Announced on 2016-03-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/03/msg235251.html>
500
501Spring
502
503Spring is the proper beginning of my kitchen and a season that I
504look forward to with great anticipation. By the time spring arrives
505I am desperate to welcome all the spring produce into my kitchen
506and I long to work with fresh green vegetables again. As much as I
507love root vegetables, such as celeriac and parsnips, and the heaver
508meat and game dishes, I'm ready to leave those behind with winter
509and begin a new adventure.
510
511Somehow spring always gives me a little bit of bounce in my feet
512-- I feel like I want to kick off my shoes and dance around in my
513kitchen. Not that I do, of course, but I feel lighter somehow. My
514adrenalin kicks in with spring and so does the level of excitement,
515as I think about all the produce that is about to come in.
516
517The moment spring arrives I'm eager to cook peas, broad beans, green
518asparagus and other fresh vegetables! I want to create lighter,
519brighter dishes and I can't wait to get my hands on the first greens
520and the first morels, not to mention the first wild Scottish salmon.
521Thanks to my network of trusted suppliers, I always get to first
522produce of the season delivered to my restaurant as soon as it is
523possible. I want my customers to experience and understand the
524beauty of locally grown produce and to try things the minute they
525are available so they can taste how incredibly fresh the ingredients
526are. I also want them to understand the relationship between
527seasonality and flavours. One of the most important things to
528remember is to allow the seasons to inspire your dishes and help
529you make natural matches. Wild spring herbs, such as sorrel, sweet
530cicely and wild garlic, as well as spring salad leaves and green
531lettuce served with wild salmon, wild sea trout, lamb or rabbit are
532marriages made in heaven.
533
534
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535=head2 v5.23.8 - Patrick Rothfuss, "The Wise Man's Fear (The Kingkiller's Chronicle: Day Two)"
536
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537L<Announced on 2016-02-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/02/msg234535.html>
538
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539Denna, on the other hand, had never been trained. She knew nothing
540of shortcuts. You'd think she'd be forced to wander the city, lost and
541helpless, trapped in a twisting maze of mortared stone.
542
543But instead, she simply walked throught the walls. She didn't know
544any better. Nobody had ever told her she couldn't. Because of this,
545she moved through the city like some faerie creature. She walked roads
546no one else could see, and it made her music wild and strange and
547free.
548
da44b70c 549=head2 v5.23.7 - William Gibson, "Neuromancer"
9c92e371 550
f43a4a46 551L<Announced on 2016-01-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/01/msg233856.html>
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552
553A year here and he still dreamed of cyberspace, hope fading
554nightly. All the speed he took, all the turns he'd taken and
555the corners he cut in Night City, and he'd still see the matrix
556in his dreams, bright lattices of logic unfolding across that
557colourless void...The Sprawl was a long, strange way home now
558over the Pacific, and he was no Console Man, no cyberspace
559cowboy. Just another hustler, trying to make it through. But
560the dreams came on in the Japanese night like livewire voodoo,
561and he'd cry for it, cry in his sleep, and wake alone in the
562dark, curled in his capsule in some coffin hotel, hands clawed
563into the bedslab, temper foam bunched between his fingers,
564trying to reach the console that wasn't there.
565
411a38f0
DG
566=head2 v5.23.6 - 5.23 Episode VII
567
f43a4a46
SH
568L<Announced on 2015-12-21 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233475.html>
569
411a38f0
DG
570 A long time ago in microseconds, in a galaxy not very far away...
571
572 5.23 Episode VII
573 THE FUZZ AWAKENS
574
575 It is a period of
576 unrest as separatists
577 announce their intentions
578 to fork PERL and return the
579 galaxy to speed and stability.
580
581 Chancellor Rik Hoolian struggles
582 to hold together the remains of the
583 once mighty Republic against a tide of
584 incivility and the depredations of a new
585 foe, the FUZZ RAIDERS.
586
587 Meanwhile, after 15 years of preparation and
588 high expectations, Supreme Leader Toady prepares
589 to unleash a devastating new weapon, PERL SIXDOTOH,
590 that could splinter the Republic forever and usher in
591 a new Empire of gradual typing....
592
37204b57
A
593=head2 v5.23.5 - utastro!nather (Ed Nather), "The Story of Mel", in net.jokes, May 21, 1983.
594
595L<Announced on 2015-11-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/11/msg232758.html>
596
597After Mel had left the company for greener pa$ture$, the Big Boss asked
598me to look at the code and see if I could find the test and reverse it.
599Somewhat reluctantly, I agreed to look. Tracking Mel's code was a real
600adventure.
601
602I have often felt that programming is an art form, whose real value can
603only be appreciated by another versed in the same arcane art; there are
604lovely gems and brilliant coups hidden from human view and admiration,
605sometimes forever, by the very nature of the process. You can learn a
606lot about an individual just by reading through his code, even in
607hexadecimal. Mel was, I think, an unsung genius.
608
609Perhaps my greatest shock came when I found an innocent loop that had
610no test in it. No test. None. Common sense said it had to be a closed
611loop, where the program would circle, forever, endlessly. Program
612control passed right through it, however, and safely out the other side.
613It took me two weeks to figure it out.
614
615The RPC-4000 computer had a really modern facility called an index
616register. It allowed the programmer to write a program loop that used
617an indexed instruction inside; each time through, the number in the
618index register was added to the address of that instruction, so it
619would refer to the next datum in a series. He had only to increment
620the index register each time through. Mel never used it.
621
622Instead, he would pull the instruction into a machine register, add one
623to its address, and store it back. He would then execute the modified
624instruction right from the register. The loop was written so this
625additional execution time was taken into account -- just as this
626instruction finished, the next one was right under the drum's read head,
627ready to go. But the loop had no test in it.
628
629The vital clue came when I noticed the index register bit, the bit that
630lay between the address and the operation code in the instruction word,
631was turned on -- yet Mel never used the index register, leaving it zero
632all the time. When the light went on it nearly blinded me.
633
634He had located the data he was working on near the top of memory -- the
635largest locations the instructions could address -- so, after the last
636datum was handled, incrementing the instruction address would make it
637overflow. The carry would add one to the operation code, changing it to
638the next one in the instruction set: a jump instruction. Sure enough,
639the next program instruction was in address location zero, and the
640program went happily on its way.
641
f8f2c42b
SH
642=head2 v5.23.4 - Denis Diderot, trans. David Coward, "Jacques the Fatalist"
643
644L<Announced on 2015-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/10/msg232040.html>
645
646Well, everybody's got a dog. The prime minister is the king's dog. The
647first secretary is the prime minister's dog. A wife is a husband's dog,
648or a husband is a wife's dog. Favourite is Madame So-and-so's dog and
649Thibaut is the man on the corner's dog. When my Master tells me to talk
650when I'd prefer not to, which to be honest doesn't happen very often,
651when he tells me to shut up when I feel like talking, which I find very
652difficult, when he asks me to tell the story of my love-life and then
653keeps interrupting, what am I if not his dog? Weak men are the dogs of
654strong men.
655
0e9baca6
PM
656=head2 v5.23.3 - Oliver Wendell Holmes, "The Deacon’s Masterpiece or The Wonderful 'One-Hoss Shay': A Logical Story"
657
658L<Announced on 2015-09-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/09/msg231173.html>
659
660 Little of of all we value here
661 Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year
662 Without both feeling and looking queer.
663 In fact, there’s nothing that keeps its youth,
664 So far as I know, but a tree and truth.
665 (This is a moral that runs at large;
666 Take it. — You’re welcome. — No extra charge.)
667
6687d205
MH
668=head2 v5.23.2 - Blind Guardian, "Skalds and Shadows"
669
4442630f 670L<Announced on 2015-08-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230298.html>
6687d205
MH
671
672 Would you believe in a night like this
673 A night like this, when visions come true
674 Would you believe in a tale like this
675 A lay of bliss, praise in the old lore
676 Come to the blazing fire and
677
678 See me in the shadows
679 See me in the shadows
680 Songs I will sing
681 Of runes and rings
682 Just hand me my harp
683 This night turns into myth
684 Nothing seems real
685 You soon will feel
686 The world we live in is another skald's
687 Dream in the shadows
688 Dream in the shadows
689
690 Do you believe there is sense in it
691 Is it truth or myth?
692 They´re one in my rhymes
693 Nobody knows the meaning behind
694 The weaver's line
695 Well nobody else but the Norns can
696 See through the blazing fires of time and
697 All things will proceed as the
698 Child of the hallowed
699 Will speak to you now
700
701 See me in the shadows
702 See me in the shadows
703 Songs I will sing of tribes and kings
704 The carrion bird and the hall of the slain
705 Nothing seems real
706 You soon will feel
707 The world we live in is another skald´s
708 Dream in the shadows
709 Dream in the shadows
710
711 Do not fear for my reason
712 There's nothing to hide
713 How bitter your treason
714 How bitter the lie
715 Remember the runes and remember the light
716 All I ever want is to be at your side
717 We'll gladden the raven now I will
718 Run through the blazing fires
719 That's my choice
720 Cause things shall proceed as foreseen
721
904c4cac
MH
722=head2 v5.23.1 - Elizabeth Haydon, "The Assassin King"
723
724L<Announced on 2015-07-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/07/msg229413.html>
725
726 I was born beneath this willow,
727 Where my sire the earth did farm
728 Had the green grass as my pillow
729 The east wind as a blanket warm.
730
731 But away! away! called the wind from the west
732 And in answer I did run
733 Seeking glory and adventure
734 Promised by the rising sun.
735
736 I found love beneath this willow,
737 As true a love as life could hold,
738 Pledged my heart and swore my fealty
739 Sealed with a kiss and a band of gold.
740
741 But to arms! to arms! called the wind from the west
742 In faithful answer I did run
743 Marching forth for king and country
744 In battles 'neath the midday sun.
745
746 Oft I dreamt of that fair willow
747 As the seven seas I plied
748 And the girl who I left waiting
749 Longing to be at her side.
750
751 But about! about! called the wind from the west
752 As once again my ship did run
753 Down the coast, about the wide world
754 Flying sails in the setting sun.
755
756 Now I lie beneath the willow
757 Now at last no more to roam,
758 My bride and earth so tightly hold me
759 In their arms I'm finally home.
760
761 While away! away! calls the wind from the west
762 Beyond the grave my spirit, free
763 Will chase the sun into the morning
764 Beyond the sky, beyond the sea.
765
da44b70c 766=head2 v5.23.0 - Bob Dylan, "Maggie's Farm"
904c4cac
MH
767
768L<Announced on 2015-06-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228807.html>
769
770 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
771 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
772 Well, I try my best
773 To be just like I am
774 But everybody wants you
775 To be just like them
776 They sing while you slave and I just get bored
777 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
778
a016fa10
SH
779=head2 v5.22.3 - Charles Dodgson [as "Lewis Carroll"], "Phantasmagoria", Canto 6: Discomfyture
780
781L<Announced on 2017-01-14 by Steve Hay|https://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/01/msg242258.html>
782
783 As one who strives a hill to climb,
784 Who never climbed before:
785 Who finds it, in a little time,
786 Grow every moment less sublime,
787 And votes the thing a bore:
788
789 Yet, having once begun to try,
790 Dares not desert his quest,
791 But, climbing, ever keeps his eye
792 On one small hut against the sky
793 Wherein he hopes to rest:
794
795 Who climbs till nerve and force are spent,
796 With many a puff and pant:
797 Who still, as rises the ascent,
798 In language grows more violent,
799 Although in breath more scant:
800
801 Who, climbing, gains at length the place
802 That crowns the upward track:
803 And, entering with unsteady pace,
804 Receives a buffet in the face
805 That lands him on his back:
806
807 And feels himself, like one in sleep,
808 Glide swiftly down again,
809 A helpless weight, from steep to steep,
810 Till, with a headlong giddy sweep,
811 He drops upon the plain -
812
813 So I, that had resolved to bring
814 Conviction to a ghost,
815 And found it quite a different thing
816 From any human arguing,
817 Yet dared not quit my post.
818
87bac28f
SH
819=head2 v5.22.3-RC5 - John Milton, ed. Gordon Campbell, "Paradise Regained", Book II
820
821L<Announced on 2017-01-02 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2017/01/msg242017.html>
822
823 Thus wore out night; and now the herald lark
824 Left his ground-nest, high towering to descry
825 The Morn's approach, and greet her with his song;
826 As lightly from his grassy couch up rose
827 Our Saviour, and found all was but a dream;
828 Fasting he went to sleep, and fasting waked.
829 Up to a hill anon his steps he reared,
830 From whose high top to ken the prospect round,
831 If cottage were in view, sheep-cote, or herd;
832 But cottage, herd, or sheep-cote, none he saw --
833 Only in a bottom saw a pleasant grove,
834 With chant of tuneful birds resounding loud;
835 Thither he bent his way, determined there
836 To rest at noon, and entered soon the shade,
837 High-roofed and walks beneath, and alleys brown,
838 That opened in the midst a woody scene;
839 Nature's own work it seemed (Nature taught Art),
840 And, to a superstitious eye, the haunt
841 Of wood-gods and wood-nymphs.
842
8c805412
SH
843=head2 v5.22.3-RC4 - John Milton, ed. Gordon Campbell, "Paradise Lost", Book II
844
845L<Announced on 2016-10-12 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/10/msg240223.html>
846
847 Far off from these, a slow and silent stream,
848 Lethe, the river of oblivion, rolls
849 Her watery labyrinth, whereof who drinks
850 Forthwith his former state and being forgets --
851 Forgets both joy and grief, pleasure and pain.
852 Beyond this flood a frozen continent
853 Lies dark and wild, beat with perpetual storms
854 Of Whirlwind and dire hail, which on firm land
855 Thaws not, but gathers heap, and ruin seems
856 Of ancient pile; all else deep snow and ice,
857 A gulf profound as that Serbonian bog
858 Betwixt Damiata and Mount Casius old,
859 Where armies whole have sunk: the parching air
860 Burns frore, and cold performs the effect of fire.
861 Thither, by harpy-footed Furies haled,
862 At certain revolutions all the damned
863 Are brought; and feel by turns the bitter change
864 Of fierce extremes, extremes by change more fierce,
865 From beds of raging fire to starve in ice
866 Their soft ethereal warmth, and there to pine
867 Immovable, infixed, and frozen round
868 Periods of time -- thence hurried back to fire.
869 They ferry over this Lethean sound
870 Both to and fro, their sorrow to augment,
871 And wish and struggle, as they pass, to reach
872 The tempting stream, with one small drop to lose
873 In sweet forgetfulness all pain and woe,
874 All in one moment, and so near the brink;
875 But fate withstands, and, to oppose the attempt,
876 Medusa with Gorgonian terror guards
877 The ford, and of itself the water flies
878 All taste of living wight, as once it fled
879 The lip of Tantalus.
880
80a17ed4
SH
881=head2 v5.22.3-RC3 - Dante Alighieri, trans. Dorothy L. Sayers and Barbara Reynolds, "The Divine Comedy", Cantica III: Paradise, Canto IV
882
883L<Announced on 2016-08-11 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/08/msg238908.html>
884
885 Between two dishes, equally attractive
886 And near to him, a free man, I suppose,
887 Would starve to death before his teeth got active;
888
889 So would a lamb 'twixt two fierce wolfish foes,
890 Fearing the fangs both ways, not stir a foot;
891 So would a deerhound halt between two does;
892
893 So I can't blame myself for standing mute,
894 Nor praise myself: for I must needs so do,
895 Suspended 'twixt two doubts, alike acute.
896
9648eab6
SH
897=head2 v5.22.3-RC2 - Dante Alighieri, trans. Dorothy L. Sayers, "The Divine Comedy", Cantica II: Purgatory, Canto I
898
899L<Announced on 2016-07-25 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/07/msg238270.html>
900
901 For better waters heading with the wind
902 My ship of genius now shakes out her sail
903 And leaves that ocean of despair behind;
904
905 For to the second realm I tune my tale,
906 Where human spirits purge themselves, and train
907 To leap up into joy celestial.
908
909 Now from the grave wake poetry again,
910 O sacred Muses I have served so long!
911 Now let Calliope uplift her strain
912
913 And lift my voice up on the mighty song
914 That smote the miserable Magpies nine
915 Out of all hope of pardon for their wrong!
916
3a6ace9d
SH
917=head2 v5.22.3-RC1 - Dante Alighieri, trans. Dorothy L. Sayers, "The Divine Comedy", Cantica I: Hell, Canto XII
918
919L<Announced on 2016-07-17 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/07/msg238071.html>
920
921 The place we came to, to descend the brink from,
922 Was sheer crag; and there was a Thing there - making,
923 All told, a prospect any eye would shrink from.
924
925 Like the great landslide that rushed downward, shaking
926 The bank of Adige on this side Trent,
927 (Whether through faulty shoring or the earth's quaking)
928
929 So that the rock, down from the summit rent
930 Far as the plain, lies strewn, and one might crawl
931 From top to bottom by that unsure descent,
932
933 Such was the precipice; and there we spied,
934 Topping the cleft that split the rocky wall,
935 That which was wombed in the false heifer's side,
936
937 The infamy of Crete, stretched out a-sprawl;
938 And seeing us, he gnawed himself, like one
939 Inly devoured with spite and burning gall.
940
73cf5d5a
SH
941=head2 v5.22.2 - Gaston Leroux, trans. Mireille Ribière, "The Phantom of the Opera"
942
943L<Announced on 2016-04-29 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg236120.html>
944
945A silence; and then: 'If, in just two minutes' time by my watch--and a
946splendid watch it is--you have not turned the scorpion, mademoiselle, I
947shall turn the grasshopper... and the grasshopper, remember, _leaps
948straight up into the air!_'
949The silence that ensued was terrifying, worse than any we had
950experienced before. I knew that when Erik spoke with that quiet,
951gentle, slightly weary voice, it meant that he had reached the end of
952his tether: that he was capable of the most abominable crimes or the
953most selfless devotion; that the slightest irritation might unleash a
954storm.
955Realizing that our fate was out of our hands, the Viscount fell to his
956knees and prayed. As for me, I pressed both hands to my chest, for my
957heart was pounding so fiercely that I thought it would burst. We were
958intensely aware of the excruciating dilemma Christine Daaé faced in
959those final seconds. We understood why she hesitated to turn the
960scorpion. What if the scorpion, rather than the grasshopper, were to
961set off the explosion? What if Erik was simply intent on destroying
962everything, regardless?
963At last he spoke: 'The two minutes are up,' he said in a soft, angelic
964voice. 'Goodbye, mademoiselle. Off you go, little grasshopper!'
965
bdd099cd
SH
966=head2 v5.22.2-RC1 - Gaston Leroux, trans. Mireille Ribière, "The Phantom of the Opera"
967
968L<Announced on 2016-04-10 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg235732.html>
969
970This annual ball was quite a magnificent affair. It was given some time
971before Shrovetide to celebrate the birthday of a famous illustrator
972whose pencil had immortalized, in the style of Gavarni, the extravagant
973carnival parade down La Courtille. As such, the ball was an altogether
974merrier, noisier and more Bohemian occasion than was usual for a masked
975ball. Many artists had arranged to meet there; they arrived with an
976entourage of models and pupils, who, by midnight, had become quite
977boisterous.
978Raoul climbed the grand staircase at five minutes to midnight. He did
979not linger to admire the many-coloured costumes on display all the way
980up the marble steps of one of the most luxurious settings in the world;
981nor did he allow himself to be drawn into the facetious conversation of
982masked guests. He simply ignored all the jesting remarks, and shook off
983the attentions of several all too merry couples.
984Crossing the big crush-room and escaping from the dancers' farandole
985that had encircled him awhile, he at last entered the salon mentioned by
986Christine in her letter. The small room was crammed with people either
987on their way to supper at the restaurant in the Rotunda or back from
988raising a glass of champagne.
989In the midst of the gay and lively hubbub, Raoul thought that, for their
990mysterious assignation, Christine must have preferred this crowd to some
991lonely corner.
992He leaned against a door-jamb and waited. He did not have to wait long;
993a black domino passed him and deftly touched his hand. He understood
994that it was Christine and followed her.
995'Is that you, Christine?' he murmured, barely moving his slips.
996The black domino promptly looked back and raised her finger to her lips,
997no doubt to caution him against uttering her name again. Raoul followed
998on in silence.
999
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SH
1000=head2 v5.22.1 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Courage" (No. 22 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
1001
1002L<Announced on 2015-12-13 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233318.html>
1003
1004 If the snow flies in my face,
1005 Let me shake it off me!
1006 If my heart within me speaks,
1007 I'll sing bright and gaily!
1008
1009 Will not listen what it says,
1010 Have no ears for moaning.
1011 Do not feel what it complains,--
1012 Only fools like groaning!
1013
1014 Jolly brave into the world,
1015 'Gainst all wind and weather,--
1016 If there is no God on earth,
1017 Let 's be gods down nether!
1018
73e3ba06
SH
1019=head2 v5.22.1-RC4 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "The Signpost" (No. 20 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
1020
1021L<Announced on 2015-12-08 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233215.html>
1022
1023 Why do I shun all those highways
1024 Which the other wanderer seeks?
1025 Why do I find bridged by-ways
1026 Through snow-covered deep creeks?
1027
1028 For I have no crime committed,
1029 Why I should now run from men,--
1030 What demented heart's desire
1031 Drives me to a desert glen?
1032
1033 Signposts on all highways stationed
1034 Point their signs toward the towns,
1035 Whilst I wonder 'yond moderation,
1036 Without rest, yet seeking rest!
1037
1038 One such signpost I see planted
1039 Of my question unconcerned,
1040 One road must my choice be granted,
1041 Whence no man has yet returned!
1042
a5dcdb15
SH
1043=head2 v5.22.1-RC3 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Stormy Morning" (No. 18 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
1044
1045L<Announced on 2015-12-02 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233032.html>
1046
1047 How the storm tore rents
1048 In heavens gray attired!
1049 The rags of cloud are flying
1050 Around, of combat tired.
1051
1052 And flames of fire lambent,
1053 Fly between them and part,
1054 That 's what I call a morning,
1055 A morning after my heart!
1056
1057 My heart sees in the heavens
1058 Its own picture unspoilt--
1059 It's nothing but the Winter,
1060 The Winter, cold and wild.
1061
02c981b8
SH
1062=head2 v5.22.1-RC2 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "The Old Head" (No. 14 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
1063
1064L<Announced on 2015-11-15 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/11/msg232632.html>
1065
1066 The hoary frost has a white sheen
1067 Strewn all over my hair,
1068 So I thought I was an old man
1069 And thought life dealt me fair.
1070
1071 Yet soon was thawed my old white mane,
1072 And I have my black hair again.
1073 How I abhor my young fair years,
1074 How long to wait for death and biers?
1075
1076 From setting sun to morning's hue
1077 Many a head turns white.
1078 Who'll credit it? My hair did not
1079 In all this lifelong plight!
1080
ad307f47
SH
1081=head2 v5.22.1-RC1 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Will-o'-the Wisp" (No. 9 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
1082
1083L<Announced on 2015-10-31 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/10/msg232321.html>
1084
1085 In the deepest rocky crevice
1086 A will-o'-the wisp lured me;
1087 How I could find my way from here,
1088 For me it's easy memory!
1089
1090 For I am used to straying ways,
1091 Every path to th'end a way,
1092 All our joys and all our suffering,--
1093 To a will-o'-the wisp it 's all play!
1094
1095 Through the dried-up bed of torrents
1096 I quite calmly downward stroll;
1097 Every stream its sea will enter,
1098 Every suffering finds its goal!
1099
4e3e12f8
RS
1100=head2 v5.22.0 - Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
1101
1102L<Announced on 2015-06-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228300.html>
1103
1104“You are the advocate of the dead.”
1105
1106The old man nodded. “I am. People talk about being fair to this one and
1107that one, but nobody I ever heard talks about doing right by them. We
1108take everything they had, which is all right. And spit, most often, on
1109their opinions, which I suppose is all right too. But we ought to
1110remember now and then how much of what we have we got from them. I
1111figure while I’m still here I ought to put a word in for them.”
1112
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RS
1113=head2 v5.22.0-RC2 - T.S. Eliot, unpublished work
1114
1115L<Announced on 2015-05-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228142.html>
1116
1117 And when thyself with silver foot shall pass
1118 Among the theories scattered on the grass
1119 Take up my good intentions with the rest
1120
1121=head2 v5.22.0-RC1 - Gene Wolfe, Citadel of the Autarch
1122
1123L<Announced on 2015-05-19 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228059.html>
1124
1125There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by
1126its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity.
1127
9ba8eca3
SH
1128=head2 v5.21.11 - Algernon Charles Swinburne, "Dolores (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs)"
1129
1130L<Announced on 2015-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/04/msg227472.html>
1131
1132 They shall pass and their places be taken,
1133 The gods and the priests that are pure.
1134 They shall pass, and shalt thou not be shaken?
1135 They shall perish, and shalt thou endure?
1136 Death laughs, breathing close and relentless
1137 In the nostrils and eyelids of lust,
1138 With a pinch in his fingers of scentless
1139 And delicate dust.
1140
1141 But the worm shall revive thee with kisses;
1142 Thou shalt change and transmute as a god,
1143 As the rod to a serpent that hisses,
1144 As the serpent again to a rod.
1145 Thy life shall not cease though thou doff it;
1146 Thou shalt live until evil be slain,
1147 And good shall die first, said thy prophet,
1148 Our Lady of Pain.
1149
c8d2be4d
SH
1150=head2 v5.21.10 - Aldous Huxley, "The Devils of Loudun"
1151
1152L<Announced on 2015-03-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/03/msg226847.html>
1153
1154The fire burned on, the good fathers continued to sprinkle and intone.
1155Suddenly a flock of pigeons came swooping down from the church and
1156started to wheel around the roaring column of flame and smoke. The
1157crowd shouted, the archers waved their halberds at the birds, Lactance
1158and Tranquille splashed them on the wing with holy water. In vain. The
1159pigeons were not to be driven away. Round and round they flew, diving
1160through the smoke, singeing their feathers in the flames. Both parties
1161claimed a miracle. For the parson's enemies the birds, quite obviously,
1162were a troop of devils, come to fetch away his soul. For his friends,
1163they were emblems of the Holy Ghost and living proof of his innocence.
1164It never seems to have occurred to anyone that they were just pigeons,
1165obeying the laws of their own, their blessedly other-than-human nature.
1166
94fa4f56
S
1167=head2 v5.21.9 - Emily Dickinson, "There is Another Sky"
1168
c8d2be4d 1169L<Announced on 2015-02-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg226002.html>
94fa4f56 1170
e5f16b09
SH
1171 There is another sky,
1172 Ever serene and fair,
1173 And there is another sunshine,
1174 Though it be darkness there;
1175 Never mind faded forests, Austin,
1176 Never mind silent fields -
1177 Here is a little forest,
1178 Whose leaf is ever green;
1179 Here is a brighter garden,
1180 Where not a frost has been;
1181 In its unfading flowers
1182 I hear the bright bee hum:
1183 Prithee, my brother,
1184 Into my garden come!
94fa4f56 1185
8917c25b
MH
1186=head2 v5.21.8 - Bill Watterson, "Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection"
1187
06dcbead 1188L<Announced on 2015-01-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/01/msg224869.html>
8917c25b
MH
1189
1190Calvin: OK Hobbes, press the button and duplicate me.
1191Hobbes: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
1192Calvin: Brother! You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions! This is a *BRILLIANT* idea! Hit the button, will ya?
1193Hobbes: I'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress... Here you go.
1194[Box]: *BOINK*
1195Hobbes: Scientific progress goes "BOINK"?
1196Calvin?: It worked! It worked! I'm a genius!
1197Cavlin??: No you're not, you liar! *I* invented this!
1198
2ee7da68 1199=head2 v5.21.7 - Robert Heinlein, "The Number of the Beast"
d171d861
MM
1200
1201L<Announced on 2014-12-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/12/msg223774.html>
1202
4ed12d4a
SH
1203"Zebadiah, Hilda and I salvaged and put everything into the basket.
1204Hilda started to put it into our wardrobe-and it was heavy. So
1205we looked. Packed as tight as when we left Oz. Six bananas-and
1206everything else. Cross my heart. No, go look."
1207"Hmmm- Jake, can you write equations for a picnic basket that
1208refills itself? Will it go on doing so?"
1209"Zeb, equations can be written to describe anything. The description
1210would be simpler for a basket that replenishes itself indefinitely
1211than for one that does it once and stops-I would have to describe
1212the discontinuity."
d171d861 1213
2ee7da68 1214=head2 v5.21.6 - Jeff Noon, "Vurt"
11741df4
CBW
1215
1216L<Announced on 2014-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/11/msg222448.html>
1217
4ed12d4a
SH
1218GAME CAT
1219
1220EXCHANGE MECHANISMS. Sometimes we lose precious
1221things. Friends and colleagues, fellow travellers in the
1222Vurt, sometimes we lose them; even lovers we sometimes
1223lose. And get bad things in exchange: aliens, objects,
1224snakes, and sometimes even death. Things we don't want.
1225This is part of the deal, part of the game deal;
1226all things, in all worlds, must be kept in balance.
1227Kittlings often ask, who decides on the swappings? Now then,
1228some say it's all accidental; that some poor Vurt thing
1229finds himself too close to a door, at too critical a time,
1230just when something real is being lost. Whoosh! Swap time!
1231Others say that some kind of overseer is working the
1232MECHANISMS OF EXCHANGE, deciding the fate of innocents.
1233The Cat can only tease at this, because of the big secrets
1234involved, and because of the levels between you, the reader,
1235and me, the Game Cat. Hey, listen; I've struggled to get
1236where I am today; why should I give you the easy route?
1237Get working, kittlings! Reach up higher. Work the Vurt.
11741df4 1238
2ee7da68 1239=head2 v5.21.5 - Friso Wiegersma (text), Jean Ferrat (music), Wim Sonneveld (performer), "Het Dorp"
b22c1b06
A
1240
1241L<Announced on 2014-10-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg221399.html>
1242
1243 Het Dorp
1244
1245 Thuis heb ik nog een ansichtkaart
1246 waarop een kerk, een kar met paard,
1247 een slagerij J. van der Ven.
1248 Een kroeg, een juffrouw op de fiets
1249 het zegt u hoogstwaarschijnlijk niets,
1250 maar 't is waar ik geboren ben.
1251 Dit dorp, ik weet nog hoe het was,
1252 de boerenkind'ren in de klas,
1253 een kar die ratelt op de keien,
1254 het raadhuis met een pomp ervoor,
1255 een zandweg tussen koren door,
11741df4 1256 het vee, de boerderijen.
b22c1b06
A
1257
1258 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
1259 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
1260 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 1261 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
b22c1b06
A
1262
1263 Wat leefden ze eenvoudig toen
1264 in simp'le huizen tussen groen
1265 met boerenbloemen en een heg.
1266 Maar blijkbaar leefden ze verkeerd,
1267 het dorp is gemoderniseerd
1268 en nu zijn ze op de goeie weg.
1269 Want ziet, hoe rijk het leven is,
1270 ze zien de televisiequiz
1271 en wonen in betonnen dozen,
1272 met flink veel glas, dan kun je zien
1273 hoe of het bankstel staat bij Mien
1274 en d'r dressoir met plastic rozen.
1275
1276 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
1277 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
1278 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 1279 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
b22c1b06
A
1280
1281 De dorpsjeugd klit wat bij elkaar
1282 in minirok en beatle-haar
1283 en joelt wat mee met beat-muziek.
1284 Ik weet wel, het is hun goeie recht,
1285 de nieuwe tijd, net wat u zegt,
1286 maar het maakt me wat melancholiek.
1287 Ik heb hun vaders nog gekend
1288 ze kochten zoethout voor een cent
1289 ik zag hun moeders touwtjespringen.
1290 Dat dorp van toen, het is voorbij,
1291 dit is al wat er bleef voor mij:
1292 een ansicht en herinneringen.
1293
1294 Toen ik langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
1295 de hoge bomen nog zag staan.
1296 Ik was een kind, hoe kon ik weten
1297 dat dat voorgoed voorbij zou gaan.
1298
2ee7da68 1299=head2 v5.21.4 - Edgar Allan Poe, "The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket"
28c2c58f
SH
1300
1301L<Announced on 2014-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220267.html>
1302
4ed12d4a
SH
1303To-day, being in latitude 83° 20', longitude 43° 5' W. (the sea being
1304of an extraordinarily dark colour), we again saw land from the
1305masthead, and, upon a closer scrutiny, found it to be one of a group
1306of very large islands. The shore was precipitous, and the interior
1307seemed to be well wooded, a circumstance which occasioned us great
1308joy. In about four hours from our first discovering the land we came
1309to anchor in ten fathoms, sandy bottom, a league from the coast, as a
1310high surf, with strong ripples here and there, rendered a nearer
1311approach of doubtful expediency. The two largest boats were now
1312ordered out, and a party, well armed (among whome were Peters and
1313myself), proceeded to look for an opening in the reef which appeared
1314to encircle the island. After searching about for some time, we
1315discovered an inlet, which we were entering, when we saw four large
1316canoes put off from the shore, filled with men who seemed to be well
1317armed. We waited for them to come up, and, as they moved with great
1318rapidity, they were soon within hail. Captain Guy now held up a white
1319handkerchief on the blade of an oar, when the strangers made a full
1320stop, and commenced a loud jabbering all at once, intermingled with
1321occasional shouts, in which we could distinguish the words Anamoo-moo!
1322and Lama-Lama! They continued this for at least half an hour, during
1323which we had a good opportunity of observing their appearance.
28c2c58f 1324
c682aa67
SH
1325=head2 v5.21.3 - Robert Service, "The Men that Don't Fit In"
1326
1327L<Announced on 2014-08-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218826.html>
1328
1329 If they just went straight they might go far,
1330 They are strong and brave and true;
1331 But they're always tired of the things that are,
1332 And they want the strange and new.
1333 They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
1334 What a deep mark I would make!"
1335 So they chop and change, and each fresh move
1336 Is only a fresh mistake.
1337
1338=head2 v5.21.2 - Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Charlie Duke, Final minutes of communication of the first manned moon landing, July 20, 1969
1339
1340L<Announced on 2014-07-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/07/msg217937.html>
1341
1342 Armstrong: Okay. Here's a...Looks like a good area here.
1343 Aldrin: I got the shadow out there.
1344 Aldrin: 250, down at 2 1/2, 19 forward.
1345 Aldrin: Altitude, velocity lights.
1346 Aldrin: 3 1/2 down, 220 feet, 13 forward.
1347 Aldrin: 11 forward. Coming down nicely.
1348 Armstrong: Gonna be right over that crater.
1349 Aldrin: 200 feet, 4 1/2 down.
1350 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down.
1351 Armstrong: I got a good spot [garbled].
1352 Aldrin: 160 feet, 6 1/2 down.
1353 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down, 9 forward. You're looking good.
1354 Aldrin: 120 feet.
1355 Aldrin: 100 feet, 3 1/2 down, 9 forward. Five percent. Quantity light.
1356 Aldrin: Okay. 75 feet. And it's looking good. Down a half, 6 forward.
1357 Duke: 60 seconds.
1358 Aldrin: Light's on.
1359 Aldrin: 60 feet, down 2 1/2. 2 forward. 2 forward. That's good.
1360 Aldrin: 40 feet, down 2 1/2. Picking up some dust.
1361 Aldrin: 30 feet, 2 1/2 down. [Garbled] shadow.
1362 Aldrin: 4 forward. 4 forward. Drifting to the right a little. 20 feet,
1363 down a half.
1364 Duke: 30 seconds.
1365 Aldrin: Drifting forward just a little bit; that's good.
1366 Aldrin: Contact Light.
1367 Armstrong: Shutdown.
1368 Aldrin: Okay. Engine Stop.
1369 Aldrin: ACA out of Detent.
1370 Armstrong: Out of Detent. Auto.
1371 Aldrin: Mode Control, both Auto. Descent Engine Command Override, Off.
1372 Engine Arm, Off. 413 is in.
1373 Duke: We copy you down, Eagle.
1374 Armstrong: Engine arm is off.
1375 Armstrong: Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.
1376 Duke: Roger, Twan...[correcting himself] Tranquility. We copy you on
1377 the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue.
1378 We're breathing again. Thanks a lot.
1379 Aldrin: Thank you.
1380
1381=head2 v5.21.1 - Robert Jordan, "The Crossroads of Twilights", Book 10 of "The Wheel of Time"
1382
1383L<Announced on 2014-06-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/06/msg217030.html>
1384
1385 We rode on the winds of the rising storm,
1386 We ran to the sounds of the thunder.
1387 We danced among the lightning bolts,
1388 and tore the world asunder.
1389
1390 -- Anonymous fragment of a poem believed
1391 written near the end of the previous Age,
1392 known by some as the Third Age.
1393 Sometimes attributed to the Dragon
1394 Reborn.
1395
1396=head2 v5.21.0 - Friedrich von Schiller, "The Song of the Bell"
1397
1398L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215826.html>
1399
1400 Walled in fast within the earth
1401 Stands the form burnt out of clay.
1402 This must be the bell’s great birth!
1403 Fellows, lend a hand to-day.
1404 Sweat must trickle now
1405 From the burning brow,
1406 Till the work its master honour.
1407 Blessing comes from Heaven’s Donor.
1408
f483a002
SH
1409=head2 v5.20.3 - Elias Lönnrot, trans. Keith Bosley, "The Kalevala", Canto 42: Stealing the Sampo
1410
1411L<Announced on 2015-09-12 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/09/msg230945.html>
1412
1413 Steady old Väinämöinen
1414 uttered a word and spoke thus:
1415 'No lilting on the waters
1416 and no singing on the waves!
1417 Song keeps you lazy
1418 tales delay rowing.
1419 Precious day would pass and night
1420 would overtake us midway
1421 on these wide waters
1422 upon these vast waves.'
1423
1424 The wanton Lemminkäinen
1425 uttered a word and spoke thus:
1426 'The time will pass anyway
1427 the fair day will flee
1428 and the night will come panting
1429 and the twilight will steal in
1430 if you don't sing while you live
1431 nor hum in this world.'
1432
9d05662d
SH
1433=head2 v5.20.3-RC2 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
1434
1435L<Announced on 2015-08-29 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230544.html>
1436
1437'I fled from Basra, sad and tearful, with no idea where I was going,
1438and I was reciting these lines:
1439
1440 The pain of parting makes me melt away,
1441 As lovers do when those they love are harsh.
1442 I wonder at the patience that I showed
1443 When I had lost my love, for that was wonderful.
1444 Beloved, do you know that since you left,
1445 I have remained confused in misery.
1446
1447I then heard a voice that said: "Damn you, have you no fear of
1448Almighty God that you hand over a girl to an unbelieving 'ifrit?" I
1449walked for a time amongst the palm-trees until I caught sight of a
1450person, whom I approached. When I asked him who he was he said: "I
1451am one of the jinn who were converted to Islam at the hands of 'Ali
1452ibn Abi Talib, may God ennoble him." "How can I get to my wife?" I
1453asked him, and he said: "Wretched fellow, you had a bird which you
1454allowed to fly away and now you want to fly after it." But he
1455added: "Follow this road with God's blessing all night until dawn
1456and then by the shore you will see a huge cave in which there is an
1457idol made of white stone. You must drink of the water that there is
1458coming out of the cave and smear your face with its mud. Stay there
1459and a barge will pass you as you stand opposite the statue. Various
1460different creatures will emerge, heads without bodies and bodies
1461without heads, and they will prostrate themselves in adoration to
1462the idol rather than to Almighty God. When you see that, embark on
1463the barge and cross to the other bank and walk along it until
1464sunset. On a high point you will see a castle built of bricks of
1465gold and silver. That is where your 'ifrit will be. I have now
1466told you about this, so goodbye."
1467
1c94dd53
SH
1468=head2 v5.20.3-RC1 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
1469
1470L<Announced on 2015-08-22 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230359.html>
1471
1472'On the night of the wedding the ape came to sit in front of me and
1473asked me what I intended to do. "Whatever you tell me," I replied,
1474and he said: "Take care not to covet the girl, or I shall come back
1475and burn you up and leave you as a lesson for those who can learn."
1476I agreed to this and when evening came I found the world full of
1477candles and torches burning in holders of gold and silver. There
1478were servants and serving girls, and everyone who saw me
1479congratulated me on my good fortune, as there was no girl on the
1480face of the earth more beautiful than my bride.
1481[...]
1482'Next morning I went out to the market, and people went in and asked
1483her how the night had been. "He never looked up at me," she told
1484them. Then, when it was afternoon, I went to my house, where the
1485ape was sitting by the door. "Tell me what you did," it said, and I
1486told it: "By God, I did not learn and do not know whether this was a
1487man or a girl." "That's what I want," it said.
1488[...]
1489'On the second night my bride was brought to me, after which the
1490servants left her and went away. She fell asleep, and, while she
1491was sleeping, I killed the cock, wrapped it in the cloth and put the
1492four poles from the couch over it. Suddenly there was a huge crash
1493like a peal of thunder and a fiery 'ifrit swooped on the girl. I
1494fainted at the sight and when I recovered I heard a voice saying:
1495"By the Lord of the Ka'ba, the girl has been carried off!" and there
1496was a sound like the rustling of wind and bitter weeping. At this I
1497shed tears, struck my head and was filled with regret when it was no
1498longer of any use, for to me the whole world was worth no more than
1499a bean.
1500
61c85015
SH
1501=head2 v5.20.2 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Magical Trevor"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/magical-trevor.html>
1502
1503L<Announced on 2015-02-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225777.html>
1504
1505 Everyone loves Magical Trevor,
1506 'Cos the tricks that he does are ever so clever;
1507 Look at him now, disappearin' the cow,
1508 Where is the cow hidden right now?
1509
1510 Taking a bow, it's Magical Trevor,
1511 Everybody's seen that the trick is clever;
1512 Look at him there with his leathery, leathery whip!
1513 It's made of magic, and with a little flip--
1514
1515 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back,
1516 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back;
1517 Back, back, back from his magical journey,
1518 Yeah!
1519
1520 What did he see in the parallel dimension?
1521 He saw beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans;
1522 Oh, beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans,
1523 Yeah, yeah!
1524
8e0a1bb9
SH
1525=head2 v5.20.2-RC1 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Scampi"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/scampi.html>
1526
1527L<Announced on 2015-02-01 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225273.html>
1528
1529 I've seen things,
1530 I've seen them with my eyes;
1531 I've seen things,
1532 They're often in disguise.
1533
1534 Like carrots, handbags, cheese, toilets,
1535 Russians, planets, hamsters, weddings,
1536 Poets, Stalin, Kuala Lumpur!
1537 Pygmies, budgies, Kuala Lumpur!
1538
1539 I've seen things,
1540 I've seen them with my eyes;
1541 I've seen things,
1542 They're often in disguise.
1543
1544 Like carrots, handbags, cheese...
1545
2ee7da68 1546=head2 v5.20.1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. Diana Reed, "Così fan tutte"
c43e8743
SH
1547
1548L<Announced on 2014-09-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219789.html>
1549
1550 DORABELLA (as if waking from a daze): Where are they?
1551 DON ALFONSO: They've gone.
1552 FIORDILIGI: Oh, the cruel bitterness of parting!
1553
1554 DON ALFONSO:
1555 Take heart, my dearest children.
1556 Look, in the distance, your lovers are waving to you.
1557
1558 FIORDILIGI: Bon voyage, my darling!
1559 DORABELLA: Bon voyage!
1560
1561 FIORDILIGI:
1562 O heavens! How swiftly the ship is sailing away!
1563 It is disappearing already!
1564 It is no longer in sight!
1565 Oh, may heaven grant it a prosperous voyage!
1566
1567 DORABELLA: May good luck attend it to the battlefield!
1568 DON ALFONSO: And may your sweethearts and my friends be safe!
1569
1570 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA, DON ALFONSO:
1571 May the wind be gentle,
1572 may the sea be calm,
1573 and may the elements
1574 respond kindly
1575 to our wishes.
1576
2ee7da68 1577=head2 v5.20.1-RC2 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
d1da2d57
SH
1578
1579L<Announced on 2014-09-07 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219446.html>
1580
1581 GUGLIELMO:
1582 Oh God, I feel that this foot of mine
1583 is reluctant to come before her.
1584
1585 FERRANDO:
1586 My trembling lip
1587 can utter no word.
1588
1589 DON ALFONSO:
1590 The hero displays his manliness
1591 in the most terrible moments.
1592
1593 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA:
1594 Now that we have heard the news,
1595 you have the lesser duty:
1596 Take heart, and plunge your swords
1597 into both our hearts.
1598
1599 FERRANDO, GUGLIELMO:
1600 My idol, blame fate
1601 that I must abandon you.
1602
1603 DORABELLA: Ah no, you shall not leave...
1604 FIORDILIGI: No, cruel one, you shall not go...
1605 DORABELLA: First I want to tear out my heart.
1606 FIORDILIGI: First I want to die at your feet.
1607 FERRANDO (softly to Don Alfonso): What do you say to that?
1608 GUGLIELMO (softly to Don Alfonso): You realise?
1609 DON ALFONSO (softly): Steady, friend, finem lauda.
1610
1611 ALL:
1612 Thus destiny defrauds
1613 the hopes of mortals.
1614 Ah, among so many misfortunes,
1615 who can ever love life?
1616
2ee7da68 1617=head2 v5.20.1-RC1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
e1ded6ad
SH
1618
1619L<Announced on 2014-08-25 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218975.html>
1620
1621 DON ALFONSO:
1622 I'd like to speak, but I haven't the heart:
1623 my lip stammers.
1624 My voice cannot emerge,
1625 but remains in my throat.
1626 What will you do? What shall I do?
1627 Oh what a great catastrophe!
1628 There can be nothing worse.
1629 I feel pity for you and for them.
1630
1631 FIORDILIGI: Heavens! For mercy's sake, Signor Alfonso, don't make us
1632 die.
1633 DON ALFONSO: My children, you must arm yourselves with constancy.
1634 DORABELLA: Ye Gods! What evil has occurred? What horrible event? Is my
1635 love dead, perhaps?
1636 FIORDILIGI: Is mine dead?
1637 DON ALFONSO: They are not dead, but they are not far from it.
1638 DORABELLA: Wounded?
1639 DON ALFONSO: No.
1640 FIORDILIGI: Ill?
1641 DON ALFONSO: Nor that.
1642 FIORDILIGI: What, then?
1643 DON ALFONSO: A royal command summons them to the field of battle.
1644 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA: Alas, what do I hear? And they will leave?
1645 DON ALFONSO: Immediately.
1646 DORABELLA: And there is no way of preventing it?
1647 DON ALFONSO: There is none.
1648 FIORDILIGI: And not even a single farewell...
1649 DON ALFONSO: The unhappy men haven't the courage to see you; but if
1650 you wish it, they are ready...
1651 DORABELLA: Where are they?
1652 DON ALFONSO: Come in, friends.
1653
7684c8f0
RS
1654=head2 v5.20.0 - William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
1655
1656L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215815.html>
1657
1658 But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
1659 Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
1660 Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
1661 When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
1662 So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
1663 So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
1664
f17f1150
RS
1665=head2 v5.20.0-RC1 - Lindsey Buckingham, "Second Hand News"
1666
1667L<Announced on 2014-05-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215479.html>
1668
1669 When times go bad
1670 when times go rough
1671 Won't you lay me down in tall grass
1672 And let me do my stuff
1673
2ee7da68 1674=head2 v5.19.11 - Isidore-Lucien Ducasse [as "Comte de Lautréamont"], trans. Paul Knight, "Les Chants de Maldoror"
50bb8485
SH
1675
1676L<Announced on 2014-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/04/msg214580.html>
1677
1678O rigorous mathematics, I have not forgotten you since your wise lessons,
1679sweeter than honey, filtered into my heart like a refreshing wave.
1680Instinctively, from the cradle, I had longed to drink from your source, older
1681than the sun, and I continue to tread the sacred sanctuary of your solemn
1682temple, I, the most faithful of your devotees. There was a vagueness in my
1683mind, something thick as smoke; but I managed to mount the steps which lead to
1684your altar, and you drove away this dark veil, as the wind blows the
1685draught-board. You replaced it with excessive coldness, consummate prudence and
1686implacable logic. With the aid of your fortifying milk, my intellect developed
1687rapidly and took on immense proportions amid the ravishing lucidity which you
1688bestow as a gift on all those who sincerely love you. Arithmetic! Algebra!
1689Geometry! Awe-inspiring trinity! Luminous triangle! He who has not known you
1690is a fool!
1691
2ee7da68 1692=head2 v5.19.10 - John Chadwick, "The Decipherment of Linear B"
9e616318
AC
1693
1694L<Announced on 2014-03-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/03/msg213851.html>
071a75f5
AC
1695
1696The urge to discover secrets is deeply ingrained in human nature; even
1697the least curious mind is roused by the promise of sharing knowledge
1698withheld from others. Some are fortunate enough to find a job which
1699consists in the solution of mysteries, whether it be the physicist who
1700tracks down a hitherto unknown nuclear particle or the policeman who
1701detects a criminal. But most of us are driven to sublimate this urge
1702by the solving of artificial puzzles devised for our entertainment.
1703
2ee7da68 1704=head2 v5.19.9 - R. A. MacAvoy, "Tea with the Black Dragon"
132664ae
TC
1705
1706L<Announced on 2014-02-20 by Tony Cook|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/02/msg213047.html>
1707
1708Old hands. The smell of rain--the smell of Ch'an. Quiet words in
1709rough Cantonese. "I am not to be your master. Your master has to be
1710stronger than you are--has to tell you you are a fool and make you
1711know it. And make you feel content in being a fool. How could I do
1712that for you? I'm old. You are too strong for me; you are full of
1713chi." The old man has paused then, huddled against the wind while
1714clouds thickened above them.
1715
1716"I will tell you this, Long," he continued, "Before you find yourself
1717you will lose your chi. Also you will leave behind you all pride of
1718body, pride of mind. You will be reduced. Like me." The old man
1719closed his eyes, and rain began to beat against his gray, crew-cut
1720hair. He pulled his coat closer. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and
1721he looked Long in the face.
1722
1723"You must leave China. Go across the ocean. There you will meet your
1724master." He set down his teacup with a palsied hand. His voice rose,
1725grew fierce.
1726
1727"I tell you this, most honored and impressive visitor. You are a
1728fool, yes, but you will find the very thing you seek. You will find
1729truth!"
1730
2ee7da68 1731=head2 v5.19.8 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
d897adff
RS
1732
1733L<Announced on 2014-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211729.html>
1734
1735“I used to get a big kick out of saving people’s lives. Now I wonder what the
1736hell’s the point, since they all have to die anyway.”
1737
1738“Oh, there’s a point, all right,” Dunbar assured him.
1739
1740“Is there? What is the point?”
1741
1742“The point is to keep them from dying for as long as you can.”
1743
1744“Yeah, but what’s the point, since they all have to die anyway?”
1745
1746“The trick is not to think about that.”
1747
1748“Never mind the trick. What the hell’s the point?”
1749
1750Dunbar pondered in silence for a few moments. “Who the hell knows?”
1751
2cff31c9
A
1752=head2 v5.19.7 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Slaughterhouse-Five"
1753
1754L<Announced on 2013-12-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/12/msg210882.html>
1755
e91f1fc1
SH
1756And somewhere in there was springtime. The corpse mines were closed
1757down. The soldiers all left to fight the Russians. In the suburbs,
1758the women and children dug rifle pits. Billy and the rest of his group
1759were locked up in the stable in the suburbs. And then, one morning,
1760they got up to discover that the door was unlocked. World War Two in
1761Europe was over.
2cff31c9 1762
e91f1fc1
SH
1763Billy and the rest wandered out onto the shady street. The trees were
1764leafing out. There was nothing going on out there, no traffic of any
1765kind. There was only one vehicle, an abandoned wagon drawn by two
1766horses. The wagon was green and coffin-shaped.
2cff31c9 1767
e91f1fc1 1768Birds were talking.
2cff31c9 1769
e91f1fc1 1770One bird said to Billy Pilgrim, "Pee-tee-weet?"
2cff31c9 1771
5a3c3c58
CBW
1772=head2 v5.19.6 - Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Spam"
1773
1774L<Announced on 2013-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/11/msg210043.html>
1775
4ed12d4a
SH
1776 Interior: cheap cafe. All the customers are Vikings. Mr and Mrs Bun enter downwards (on wires).
1777
1778 Mr. Bun: Morning.
1779 Waitress: Morning.
1780 Mr. Bun: What have you got, then?
1781 Waitress: Well there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam;
1782 egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam;
1783 spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam;
1784 or lobster thermidor aux crevettes, with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried
1785 egg on top and spam
1786 Mrs. Bun: Have you got anything without spam in it?
1787 Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got MUCH spam in it.
1788 Mrs. Bun: I don't want ANY spam.
1789 Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
1790 Mrs. Bun: That's got spam in it!
1791 Mr. Bun: Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
1792 Mrs. Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage, without the spam.
1793 Waitress: Uuuuuuggggh!
1794 Mrs. Bun: What d'you mean, uugggh! I don't like spam.
1795 Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
1796
1797 (Brief shot of a Viking ship)
1798
1799 Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
1800 Mrs. Bun: Why not?
1801 Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it?
1802 Mrs. Bun: I don't like spam!
5a3c3c58 1803
40e1c3e8 1804=head2 v5.19.5 - Charles Baudelaire, trans. James McGowan, "The Flowers of Evil", 51. The Cat
4d764166
SH
1805
1806L<Announced on 2013-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/10/msg208752.html>
1807
4d764166
SH
1808 I
1809
1810 A cat is strolling through my mind
1811 Acting as though he owned the place,
1812 A lovely cat -- strong, charming, sweet.
1813 When he meows, one scarcely hears,
1814
1815 So tender and discreet his tone;
1816 But whether he should growl or purr
1817 His voice is always rich and deep.
1818 That is the secret of his charm.
1819
1820 This purling voice that filters down
1821 Into my darkest depths of soul
1822 Fulfils me like a balanced verse,
1823 Delights me as a potion would.
1824
1825 It puts to sleep the cruellest ills
1826 And keeps a rein on ecstasies --
1827 Without the need for any words
1828 It can pronounce the longest phrase.
1829
1830 Oh no, there is no bow that draws
1831 Across my heart, fine instrument,
1832 And makes to sing so royally
1833 The strongest and the purest chord,
1834
1835 More than your voice, mysterious cat,
1836 Exotic cat, seraphic cat,
1837 In whom all is, angelically,
1838 As subtle as harmonious.
1839
1840 II
1841
1842 From his soft fur, golden and brown,
1843 Goes out so sweet a scent, one night
1844 I might have been embalmed in it
1845 By giving him one little pet.
1846
1847 He is my household's guardian soul;
1848 He judges, he presides, inspires
1849 All matters in hos royal realm;
1850 Might he be fairy? or a god?
1851
1852 When my eyes, to this cat I love
1853 Drawn as by a magnet's force,
1854 Turn tamely back from that appeal,
1855 And when I look within myself,
1856
1857 I notice with astonishment
1858 The fire of his opal eyes,
1859 Clear beacons glowing, living jewels,
1860 Taking my measure, steadily.
1861
ce520fa6
SH
1862=head2 v5.19.4 - Washington Irving, "The Widow and Her Son"
1863
1864L<Announced on 2013-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/09/msg207969.html>
1865
ce520fa6
SH
1866There is something in sickness that breaks down the pride of manhood;
1867that softens the heart and brings it back to the feelings of infancy.
1868Who that has languished, even in advanced life, in sickness and
1869despondency — who that has pined on a weary bed in the neglect and
1870loneliness of a foreign land — but has thought on the mother "that
1871looked on his childhood," that smoothed his pillow and administered to
1872his helplessness. — Oh! there is an enduring tenderness in the love
1873of a mother to her son that transcends all other affections of the
1874heart. It is neither to be chilled by selfishness — nor daunted by
1875danger — nor weakened by worthlessness — nor stifled by ingratitude.
1876She will sacrifice every comfort to his convenience — she will
1877surrender every pleasure to his enjoyment — she will glory in his fame
1878and exult in his prosperity. And if misfortune overtake him he will
1879be the dearer to her from misfortune — and if disgrace settle upon his
1880name, she will still love and cherish him in spite of his disgrace —
1881and if all the world beside cast him off, she will be all the world to
1882him.
1883
9a701c04
SH
1884=head2 v5.19.3 - Andrew Hodges, "Alan Turing: The Enigma"
1885
1886L<Announced on 2013-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg206318.html>
1887
9a701c04
SH
1888E.M. Forster, outdoing the King's heresy with grand bravura, had
1889written in 1938 that if he were faced with the choice between
1890betraying his country and betraying his friends, he hoped he would
1891have the courage to betray his country. He would always put the
1892personal above the political. But for Alan Turing, unlike Forster, or
1893Wittgenstein, or G.H. Hardy, it was more than a theoretical question.
1894For him not only had the personal become the political, but the
1895political was the personal. He had chosen and promised for himself in
1896working for the government. The choice for him therefore was that
1897between betraying one part of himself and betraying another part. And
1898however much he wavered between these alternatives, there was a solid
1899logic to the mind of security, one that could not be expected to take
1900an interest in notions of freedom and development. He had no rights
1901to such things, as he would have had to admit. He might have
1902outwitted the Home Guard, but when it came to questions that mattered,
1903there was no doubt that he had placed himself under military law.
1904There was a war on; there was always a war on now.
1905
0b0ed28b
AP
1906=head2 v5.19.2 - Fred Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month"
1907
1908L<Announced on 2013-07-22 by Aristotle Pagaltzis|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/07/msg204905.html>
1909
c2a00619
KW
1910The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the
1911correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life,
1912showing things that never were nor could be. [...] Not all is delight,
1913however [...] One must perform perfectly. The computer resembles the
1914magic of legend in this respect, too. If one character, one pause, of
1915the incantation is not strictly in proper form, the magic doesn't work.
1916
549a11ea
DG
1917=head2 v5.19.1 - William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
1918
703078b2 1919L<Announced on 2013-06-21 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/06/msg203449.html>
549a11ea
DG
1920
1921 Over hill, over dale,
1922 Thorough bush, thorough briar,
1923 Over park, over pale,
1924 Thorough flood, thorough fire,
1925 I do wander everywhere,
1926 Swifter than the moon's sphere;
1927 And I serve the fairy queen,
1928 To dew her orbs upon the green.
1929 The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
1930 In their gold coats, spots you see;
1931 Those be rubies, fairy favours,
1932 In their freckles live our savours.
1933 I must go seek some dew-drops here,
1934 And hang a perl in every cowslip's ear.
1935 Farewell, thou lob of spirits, I'll be gone;
1936 My queen and all her elves come here anon!
1937
5f42d1f2 1938=head2 v5.19.0 - Batman, of the Joker, in "The Dark Knight Returns"
549a11ea
DG
1939
1940L<Announced on 2013-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201980.html>
1941
1942 From the beginning, I knew…
1943 …that there was nothing wrong with you…
1944 …that I can't fix…
1945 …with my hands…
1946
40e1c3e8 1947=head2 v5.18.4 - Robert W. Chambers, Cassilda's Song in "The King in Yellow," Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1
RS
1948
1949L<Announced on 2014-10-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg220770.html>
1950
1951 Along the shore the cloud waves break,
1952 The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
1953 The shadows lengthen
1954 In Carcosa.
1955
1956 Strange is the night where black stars rise,
1957 And strange moons circle through the skies
1958 But stranger still is
1959 Lost Carcosa.
1960
1961 Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
1962 Where flap the tatters of the King,
1963 Must die unheard in
1964 Dim Carcosa.
1965
1966 Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
1967 Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
1968 Shall dry and die in
1969 Lost Carcosa.
1970
8bbce0b1
RS
1971=head2 v5.18.3 - (no epigraph)
1972
1973(no epigraph)
1974
40e1c3e8 1975=head2 v5.18.3-RC2 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 1976
dd047fac 1977L<Announced on 2014-09-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220613.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
1978
1979"Ah! I see it now!" I shrieked. "You have seized the throne and the
1980empire. Woe! woe to you who are crowned with the crown of the King in
1981Yellow!"
1982
40e1c3e8 1983=head2 v5.18.3-RC1 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 1984
dd047fac 1985L<Announced on 2014-09-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220072.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
1986
1987 CAMILLA: You, sir, should unmask.
1988
1989 STRANGER: Indeed?
1990
1991 CASSILDA: Indeed it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.
1992
1993 STRANGER: I wear no mask.
1994
1995 CAMILLA: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask!
1996
6d0eb662
RS
1997=head2 v5.18.2 - Miss Manners
1998
1999L<Announced on 2014-01-06 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211224.html>
2000
2001One of the major mistakes people make is that they think manners are
2002only the expression of happy ideas. There's a whole range of behavior
2003that can be expressed in a mannerly way. That's what civilization is all
2004about – doing it in a mannerly and not an antagonistic way. One of the
2005places we went wrong was the naturalistic Rousseauean movement of the
2006Sixties in which people said, "Why can't you just say what's on your
2007mind?" In civilization there have to be some restraints. If we followed
2008every impulse, we'd be killing one another.
2009
80963870
RS
2010=head2 v5.18.1 - Chuck Moore
2011
2012L<Announced on 2013-08-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205897.html>
2013
2014The operating system is another concept that is curious. Operating
2015systems are dauntingly complex and totally unnecessary. It’s a brilliant
2016thing that Bill Gates has done in selling the world on the notion of
2017operating systems. It’s probably the greatest con game the world has
2018ever seen.
2019
2020An operating system does absolutely nothing for you. As long as you had
2021something — a subroutine called disk driver, a subroutine called some
2022kind of communication support, in the modern world, it doesn’t do
2023anything else. In fact, Windows spends a lot of time with overlays and
2024disk management all stuff like that which are irrelevant. You’ve got
2025gigabyte disks; you’ve got megabyte RAMs. The world has changed in a way
2026that renders the operating system unnecessary.
2027
2028=head2 v5.18.1-RC1 - Chuck Moore
2029
2030L<Announced on 2013-08-02 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205445.html>
2031
2032Compilers are probably the worst code ever written. They are written by
2033someone who has never written a compiler before and will never do so
2034again. The more elaborate the language, the more complex, bug-ridden,
2035and unusable is the compiler. But a simple compiler for a simple
2036language is an essential tool—if only for documentation.
2037
4e720792
RS
2038=head2 v5.18.0 - Yevgeny Zamyatin
2039
2040L<Announced on 2013-05-18 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201940.html>
2041
2042It is an error to divide people into the living and the dead: there are people
2043who are dead-alive, and people who are alive-alive. The dead-alive also write,
2044walk, speak, act. But they make no mistakes; only machines make no mistakes,
2045and they produce only dead things. The alive-alive are constantly in error, in
2046search, in questions, in torment.
2047
2ee7da68 2048=head2 v5.18.0-RC4 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
4e720792 2049
dd047fac 2050L<Announced on 2013-05-16 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201889.html>
4e720792
RS
2051
2052Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
2053
2054=head2 v5.18.0-RC3 - Tom Waits, "The Ocean Doesn't Want Me"
2055
dd047fac 2056L<Announced on 2013-05-14 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201823.html>
4e720792
RS
2057
2058 I'd love to go drowning
2059 And to stay and to stay
2060 But the ocean doesn't want me today
2061 I'll go in up to here
2062 It can't possibly hurt
2063 All they will find is my beer
2064 And my shirt
2065
2066=head2 v5.18.0-RC2 - Tom Waits, "Earth Died Screaming"
2067
2068L<Announced on 2013-05-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201723.html>
2069
2070 And the great day of wrath has come
2071 And here's mud in your big red eye
2072 The poker's in the fire
2073 And the locusts take the sky
2074 And the earth died screaming
2075 While I lay dreaming of you
2076
2077=head2 v5.18.0-RC1 - Tom Waits, "What's He Building in There?"
2078
2079L<Announced on 2013-05-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201651.html>
2080
2081 What's he building in there?
2082
2083 We have a right to know…
2084
2ee7da68 2085=head2 v5.17.11 - Nigel Tufnel in "This is Spın̈al Tap"
4e720792
RS
2086
2087L<Announced on 2013-04-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/04/msg201056.html>
2088
2089It's very special because, if you can see, the numbers all go to…
2090eleven! Look, right across the board: eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven!
2091
2ee7da68 2092=head2 v5.17.10 - Vernor Vinge, "A Fire Upon The Deep"
7707f065 2093
f3d08688 2094L<Announced on 2013-03-23 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200504.html>
7707f065
MM
2095
2096The archive informed the automation. Data structures were built, recipes
2097followed. A local network was built, faster than anything on Straum, but surely
2098safe. Nodes were added, modified by other recipes. The archive was a friendly
2099place, with hierarchies of translation keys that led them along. Straum itself
2100would be famous for this.
2101
2102Six months passed. A year.
2103
72f869fd 2104The omniscient view. Not self-aware really. Self-awareness is much over-rated.
7707f065 2105Most automation works far better as a part of a whole, and even if human-
72f869fd 2106powerful, it does not need to self-know.
7707f065 2107
2ee7da68 2108=head2 v5.17.9 - Douglas Adams, "The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy"
fed67cf1 2109
f3d08688 2110L<Announced on 2013-02-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/02/msg199115.html>
fed67cf1
CBW
2111
2112Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
2113The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a
2114recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of
2115his poem 'Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My
2116Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died
2117of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the
2118Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one
2119of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been
2120'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to
2121embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled
2122'My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine,
2123in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation,
2124leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
2125
2126The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator
2127Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England,
2128in the destruction of the planet Earth.
2129
2ee7da68 2130=head2 v5.17.8 - Iain Pears, "An Instance of the Fingerpost"
2eea07f2 2131
f3d08688 2132L<Announced on 2013-01-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/01/msg197571.html>
2eea07f2
AC
2133
2134I must here declare myself as someone who does not for a moment subscribe to
2135the general view that a willingness to perform oneself is detrimental to the
2136dignity of experimental philosophy. There is, after all, a clear distinction
2137between labour carried out for financial reward, and that done for the
2138improvement of mankind: to put it another way, Lower as a philosopher was
2139fully my equal even if he fell away when he became the practising physician.
2140I think ridiculous of certain professors of anatomy, who find it beneath
2141them to pick up the knife themselves, but merely comment while hired hands
2142do the cutting. Sylvius would never have dreamt of sitting on a dais reading
b86ac955 2143from an authority while others cut — when he taught, the knife was
2eea07f2
AC
2144in his hand and the blood spattered his coat. Boyle also did not scruple to
2145perform his own experiments and, on one occasion in my presence, even showed
2146himself willing to anatomise a rat with his very own hands. Nor was he less
2147a gentleman when he had finished. Indeed, in my opinion, his stature was all
2148the greater, for in Boyle wealth, humility and curiosity mingled, and the
2149world is richer for it.
2150
2ee7da68 2151=head2 v5.17.7 - R. Scott Bakker, "The Darkness That Comes Before"
c2a10b9c 2152
f3d08688 2153L<Announced on 2012-12-18 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/12/msg196707.html>
c2a10b9c
DR
2154
2155No thought.
4ed12d4a
SH
2156
2157The boy extinguished. Only a place.
2158
2159This place.
2160
2161Motionless, the Pragma sat facing him, the bare soles of his feet flat against each other, his dark frock scored by the shadows of deep folds, his eyes as empty as the child they watched.
2162
2163A place without breath or sound. A place of sight alone. A place without before or after . . . almost.
2164
2165For the first lances of sunlight careered over the glacier, as ponderous as great tree limbs in the wind. Shadows hardened and light gleamed across the Pragma’s ancient skull.
2166
2167The old man’s left hand forsook his right sleeve, bearing a watery knife. And like a rope in water, his arm pitched outward, fingertips trailing across the blade as the knife swung languidly into the air, the sun skating and the dark shrine plunging across its mirror back . . .
2168
2169And the place where Kellhus had once existed extended an open hand—the blond hairs like luminous filaments against tanned skin—and grasped the knife from stunned space.
2170
2171The slap of pommel against palm triggered the collapse of place into little boy. The pale stench of his body. Breath, sound, and lurching thoughts.
2172
2173I have been legion . . .
2174
2175In his periphery, he could see the spike of the sun ease from the mountain. He felt drunk with exhaustion. In the recoil of his trance, it seemed all he could hear were the twigs arching and bobbing in the wind, pulled by leaves like a million sails no bigger than his hand. Cause everywhere, but amid countless minute happenings—diffuse, useless.
2176
2177Now I understand.
c2a10b9c 2178
2ee7da68 2179=head2 v5.17.6 - Kurt Vonnegut, "The Sirens of Titan"
1443de07 2180
f3d08688 2181L<Announced on 2012-11-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195659.html>
1443de07
RS
2182
2183Beatrice, looking like a gypsy queen, smoldered at the foot of a statue
2184of a young physical student. At first glance, the laboratory-gowned
2185scientist seemed to be a perfect servant of nothing but truth. At first
2186glance, one was convinced that nothing but truth could please him as he
2187beamed at his test tube. At first glance, one thought that he was as
2188much above the beastly concerns of mankind as the harmoniums in the
2189caves of Mercury. There, at first glance, was a young man without
2190vanity, without lust — and one accepted at its face value the title Salo
2191had engraved on the statue, "Discovery of Atomic Power."
2192
6720b7ff
FR
2193=head2 v5.17.5 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
2194
f3d08688 2195L<Announced on 2012-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194349.html>
6720b7ff
FR
2196
2197Neither of them noticed the pair of polka-dotted knickers hiding
2198behind the ventilation duct overhead, listening patiently and
2199recording everything.
2200
e6a2c28f
FR
2201=head2 v5.17.4 - Roald Dahl, "Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf"
2202
f3d08688 2203L<Announced on 2012-09-19 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/09/msg192635.html>
e6a2c28f 2204
5814c912
RS
2205 The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
2206 She whips a pistol from her knickers.
2207 She aims it at the creature's head,
2208 And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
e6a2c28f 2209
5814c912
RS
2210 A few weeks later, in the wood,
2211 I came across Miss Riding Hood.
2212 But what a change! No cloak of red,
2213 No silly hood upon her head.
2214 She said, "Hello, and do please note
2215 My lovely furry wolfskin coat."
e6a2c28f 2216
4079ea87
SH
2217=head2 v5.17.3 - Kris Ta-belle, "Smoked Perl Onion Soup"
2218
2219L<Announced on 2012-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190775.html>
2220
2221Preparation:
2222
2223Cut 16 Perl Onions into quarters and put them in a grill smoker rack
2224or a perforated pan over a BBQ using hickory wood chips or Special
2225Blend Smoker Bisquettes. Smoke them for an hour and remove once they
2226look golden brown.
2227Let them cool and put them in the fridge (or freezer) until you are
2228ready to create the soup.
2229
2230Ingredients:
2231
5814c912
RS
2232 16 diced, pre-smoked, Perl Onions
2233 3 tbsp butter
2234 1/4 cup olive oil
2235 2 small garlic cloves, finely minced
2236 1 tsp salt
2237 1 tsp sugar
2238 black pepper to taste
2239 1 cup red wine
2240 1/4 cup all purpose flour
2241 6 cups of beef or vegetable stock
2242 1 cup of thick cream (milk can be used as a substitute)
4079ea87
SH
2243
2244Method:
2245
5814c912
RS
2246 Melt the butter in a pan and then add olive oil.
2247 Heat and add the onions to caramelize over a medium-high heat for up
2248 to half an hour.
2249 Add the garlic, turn down the heat and cook for a further 5 minutes.
2250 Add the salt, pepper and sugar.
2251 Now add the red wine and reduce to a jam like consistency.
2252 Add the flour, stir well and add the stock a cup at a time.
2253 Simmer for 30 minutes, add the cream and heat to almost boiling.
4079ea87
SH
2254
2255Enjoy.
2256
d7846122
TC
2257=head2 v5.17.2 - Terry Pratchet, "The Colour of Magic"
2258
3d76f962 2259L<Announced on 2012-07-21 by TonyC|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/07/msg189828.html>
d7846122
TC
2260
2261‘I knew it,’ said Rincewind. ‘We're in a strong magical field.’
2262
2263Twoflower and Hrun looked around the little hollow where they had made
2264their noonday halt. Then they looked at each other.
2265
2266The horses were quietly cropping the rich grass by the stream. Yellow
2267butterflies skittered among the bushes. There was a smell of thyme
2268and a buzzing of bees. The wild pigs on the spit sizzled gently.
2269
2270Hrun shrugged and went back to oiling his biceps. They gleamed.
2271
2272‘Looks alright to me,’ he said.
2273
2274‘Try tossing a coin,’ said Rincewind.
2275
2276‘What?’
2277
2278‘Go on. Toss a coin.’
2279
2280‘Hokay,’ said Hrun. 'If that gives you any pleasure.’ He reached into
2281his pouch and withdrew a handful of loose change plundered from a
2282dozen realms. With some care he selected a Zchloty leaden
2283quarter-iotum and balanced it on a purple thumbnail.
2284
2285‘You call,’ he said. ‘Heads or—’ he inspected the obverse with
2286an air of intense concentration, ‘some sort of a fish with legs.’
2287
2288‘When it's in the air,’ said Rincewind. Hrun grinned and flicked his thumb.
2289
2290The iotum rose, spinning.
2291
2292‘Edge,’ said Rincewind, without looking at it.
2293
322e634c
JL
2294=head2 v5.17.1 - Rand Miller, "Myst: The Book of Ti'ana"
2295
2296L<Announced on 2012-06-20 by doy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/06/msg188354.html>
2297
2298On their return from Ko'ah, Aitrus had shown her the Book, patiently
2299taking her through page after page, and showing her how such an Age was
2300"made." She had seen at once the differences between this archaic form
2301and the ordinary written speech of the D'ni, noting how it was not
2302merely more elaborate but more specific: a language of precise yet
2303subtle descriptive power. Yet seeing was one thing, believing another.
2304Given all the evidence, her rational mind still fought against accepting
2305it.
2306
dd15390c
Z
2307=head2 v5.17.0 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
2308
f51b9d59 2309L<Announced on 2012-05-26 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg187214.html>
dd15390c
Z
2310
2311`Welcome, comrades!' Burya opened his arms toward the soldier.
2312`Yes it is true! With help from our allies of the Festival, the iron
2313hand of the reactionary junta is about to be overthrown for all time!
2314The new economy is being born; the marginal cost of production has
2315been abolished, and from now on, if any item is produced once, it can
2316be replicated infinitely. From each according to his imagination,
2317to each according to his needs! Join us or better still, bring your
2318fellow soldiers and workers to join us!'
2319
2320There was a sharp bang from the roof of the Corn Exchange, right at the
2321climax of his impromptu speech; heads turned in alarm. Something had
2322broken inside the spork factory and a stream of rainbow-hued plastic
2323implements fountained toward the sky and clattered to the cobblestones
2324on every side, like a harbinger of the postindustrial society to come.
2325Workers and peasants alike stared in open-mouthed bewilderment at this
2326astounding display of productivity, then bent to scrabble in the muck
2327for the brightly colored sporks of revolution. A volley of shots rang
2328out and Burya Rubenstein raised his hands, grinning wildly, to accept
2329the salute of the soldiers from the Skull Hill garrison.
2330
c682aa67
SH
2331=head2 v5.16.3 - Devo, "Freedom of Choice"
2332
2333L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200009.html>
2334
2335 A victim of collision on the open sea
2336 Nobody ever said that life was free
2337 Sink, swim, go down with the ship
2338 But use your freedom of choice
2339
2340=head2 v5.16.2 - Stanislaw Lem, "The Cyberiad", Trurl's Machine
2341
2342L<Announced on 2012-11-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg194915.html>
2343
2344Once upon a time Trurl the constructor built an eight-story thinking
2345machine. When it was finished, he gave it a coat of white paint,
2346trimmed the edges in lavender, stepped back, squinted, then added a
2347little curlicue on the front and, where one might imagine the forehead
2348to be, a few pale orange polkadots. Extremely pleased with himself,
2349he whistled an air and, as is always done on such occasions, asked it
2350the ritual question of how much is two plus two.
2351
2352The machine stirred. Its tubes began to glow, its coils warmed up,
2353current coursed through all its circuits like a waterfall,
2354transformers hummed and throbbed, there was a clanging, and a
2355chugging, and such an ungodly racket that Trurl began to think of
2356adding a special mentation muffler. Meanwhile the machine labored on,
2357as if it had been given the most difficult problem in the Universe to
2358solve; the ground shook, the sand slid underfoot from the vibration,
2359valves popped like champagne corks, the relays nearly gave way under
2360the strain. At last, when Trurl had grown extremely impatient, the
2361machine ground to a halt and said in a voice like thunder: SEVEN!
2362
2ee7da68 2363=head2 v5.16.1 - Emerald Rose, "Never Split The Party"
a210cc89 2364
6dab83b1 2365L<Announced on 2012-08-08 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190413.html>
a210cc89
RS
2366
2367 Don't you know? You never split the party
2368 Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty
2369 The wizard in the middle, where he can shed some light
2370 And you never let that damn thief out of sight…
2371
c33412d7 2372=head2 v5.16.1-RC1 - Tom Moldvay, Foreward to the "Dungeons & Dragons Basic Rulebook"
a210cc89 2373
6dab83b1 2374L<Announced on 2012-08-03 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190264.html>
a210cc89
RS
2375
2376I was busy rescuing the captured maiden when the dragon showed up.
2377Fifty feed of scaled terror glared down at us with smoldering red eyes.
2378Tendrils of smoke drifted out from between fangs larger than daggers.
2379The dragon blocked the only exit from the cave.
2380
2381
2382
2383I unwrapped the sword which the mysterious cleric had given me. The
2384sword was golden-tinted steel. Its hilt was set with a rainbow
2385collection of precious gems. I shouted my battle cry and charged
2386
2387My charge caught the dragon by surprise. Its titanic jaws snapped shut
2388inches from my face. I swung the golden sword with both arms. The
2389swordblade bit into the dragon's neck and continued through to the other
2390side. With an earth-shaking crash, the dragon dropped dead at my feet.
2391The magic sword had saved my life and ended the reign of the
2392dragon-tyrant. The countryside was freed and I could return as a hero.
2393
2ee7da68 2394=head2 v5.16.0 - W.H. Auden, "September 1, 1939"
4c4c16b2 2395
6dab83b1 2396L<Announced on 2012-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg186903.html>
4c4c16b2 2397
a210cc89
RS
2398 All I have is a voice
2399 To undo the folded lie,
2400 The romantic lie in the brain
2401 Of the sensual man-in-the-street
2402 And the lie of Authority
2403 Whose buildings grope the sky:
2404 There is no such thing as the State
2405 And no one exists alone;
2406 Hunger allows no choice
2407 To the citizen or the police;
2408 We must love one another or die.
2409
2ee7da68 2410=head2 v5.15.9 - Bob Dylan, "Blowin' In The Wind"
54fdd2d6 2411
6dab83b1 2412L<Announced on 2012-03-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/03/msg184824.html>
a97faa3d 2413
4ed12d4a
SH
2414 How many roads must a man walk down
2415 Before you call him a man?
2416 Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
2417 Before she sleeps in the sand?
2418 Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannonballs fly
2419 Before they're forever banned?
2420 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
2421 The answer is blowin' in the wind
2422
2423 How many years can a mountain exist
2424 Before it's washed to the sea?
2425 Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
2426 Before they're allowed to be free?
2427 Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
2428 Pretending he just doesn't see?
2429 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
2430 The answer is blowin' in the wind
2431
2432 How many times must a man look up
2433 Before he can see the sky?
2434 Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
2435 Before he can hear people cry?
2436 Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
2437 That too many people have died?
2438 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
2439 The answer is blowin' in the wind
54fdd2d6 2440
2ee7da68 2441=head2 v5.15.8 - The KLF, "The Manual-How To Have A Number One The Easy Way"
1f9d7ff5 2442
6dab83b1 2443L<Announced on 2012-02-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/02/msg183919.html>
1f9d7ff5
MM
2444
2445 "Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
2446 Doctor Who, in the Tardis
2447 Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
2448 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who
2449 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who"
2450
2451Gibberish of course, but every lad in the country under a certain
2452age related instinctively to what it was about. The ones slightly
2453older needed a couple of pints inside them to clear away the mind
2454debris left by the passing years before it made sense. As for
2455girls and our chorus, we think they must have seen it as pure crap.
2456A fact that must have limited to zero our chances of staying at The
2457Top for more than one week.
2458
2459Stock, Aitkin and Waterman, however, are kings of writing chorus
2460lyrics that go straight to the emotional heart of the 7" single
2461buying girls in this country. Their most successful records will kick
2462into the chorus with a line which encapsulates the entire emotional
2463meaning of the song. This will obviously be used as the title. As
2464soon as Rick Astley hit the first line of the chorus on his debut
2465single it was all over - the Number One position was guaranteed:
2466
2467 "I'm never going to give you up"
2468
2ee7da68 2469=head2 v5.15.7 - Penelope Lively, "The Voyage of QV66"
cf6bc744 2470
6dab83b1 2471L<Announced on 2012-01-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/01/msg182230.html>
cf6bc744
CBW
2472
2473"Laboratories," announced Henry. "Kindly don't touch anything."
2474
2475He led us into a long low brick shed. Outside there was a
2476notice on a piece of board, crudely printed in red paint,
2477which said GRATE SIENCE DISCOVERYS DONE HERE SSSH! BRING YOUR
2478OWN BUKKIT NO PINCHING ANYWUN ELSE'S EXPERRYMENTS CANTEEN OPEN
2479ALL DAY CHIMPS ONLY.
2480
2481There were a lot of large black monkeys inside, all intently
2482busy on what they were doing. Some of them were pouring stuff
2483out of bottles into buckets and carefully stirring the ensuing
2484mixture; others were at work with glass tubes and jars, blowing
2485and measuring and mixing; others were crouched over long benches
2486with tools and heaps of bits and pieces of metal, cutting and
2487bending and constructing. There was a great deal of noise and
2488chatter. Every now and then one of them would give a whoop of
2489excitement and all the others would gather round and jump up and
2490down cheering and applauding.
2491
2492"Chimps," said Henry. "They're awfully clever."
2493
2ee7da68 2494=head2 v5.15.6 - Ursula K. Leguin, "A Wizard of Earthsea"
b0d358f0 2495
6dab83b1 2496L<Announced on 2011-12-20 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/12/msg180962.html>
b0d358f0
DR
2497
2498Ged had thought that as the prentice of a great mage he would enter at once
2499into the mystery and mastery of power. He would understand the language of the
2500beasts and the speech of the leaves of the forest, he thought, and sway the
2501winds with his word, and learn to change himself into any shape he
2502wished. Maybe he and his master would run together as stags, or fly to Re Albi
2503over the mountain on the wings of eagles.
2504
2505But it was not so at all. They wandered, first down into the Vale and then
2506gradually south and westward around the mountain, given lodging in little
2507villages or spending the night out in the wilderness, like poor
2508journeyman-sorcerers, or tinkers, or beggars. They entered no mysterious
2509domain. Nothing happened. The mage's oaken staff that Ged had watched at first
2510with eager dread was nothing but a stout staff to walk with. Three days went
2511by and four days went by and still Ogion had not spoken a single charm in
2512Ged's hearing, and had not taught him a single name or rune or spell.
2513
2ee7da68 2514=head2 v5.15.5 - Nikolai Gogol, trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, "The Diary of a Madman"
d0fc7727 2515
6dab83b1 2516L<Announced on 2011-11-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/11/msg179588.html>
d0fc7727
SH
2517
2518This day - is a day of the greatest solemnity! Spain has a king. He has
2519been found. I am that king. Only this very day did I learn of it. I
2520confess, it came to me suddenly in a flash of lightning. I don't understand
2521how I could have thought and imagined that I was a titular councillor. How
2522could such a wild notion enter my head? It's a good thing no one thought of
2523putting me in an insane asylum. Now everything is laid open before me. Now
2524I see everything as on the palm of my hand. And before, I don't understand,
2525before everything around me was in some sort of fog. And all this happens, I
2526think, because people imagine that the human brain is in the head. Not at
2527all: it is brought by a wind from the direction of the Caspian Sea. First
2528off, I announced to Mavra who I am. When she heard that the king of Spain
2529was standing before her, she clasped her hands and nearly died of fright.
2530The stupid woman had never seen a king of Spain before. However, I
2531endeavoured to calm her down and assured her in gracious words of my
2532benevolence and that I was not at all angry that she sometimes polished my
2533boots poorly. They're benighted folk. It's impossible to tell them about
2534lofty matters. She got frightened because she's convinced that all kings of
2535Spain are like Philip II. But I explained to her that there was no
2536resemblance between me and Philip II, and that I didn't have a single
2537Capuchin . . . I didn't go to the office . . . To hell with it! No friends,
2538you won't lure me there now; I'm not going to copy your vile papers!
2539
1542e678
FR
2540=head2 v5.15.4 - Steve Jobs
2541
6dab83b1 2542L<Announced on 2011-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/10/msg178412.html>
1542e678
FR
2543
2544A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they
2545don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions
2546without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of
2547the human experience, the better design we will have.
2548
2ee7da68 2549=head2 v5.15.3 - Oscar Wilde, From the preface to "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
607b15aa 2550
6dab83b1 2551L<Announced on 2011-09-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177427.html>
ca420de3 2552
4ed12d4a
SH
2553All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath
2554the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol
2555do so at their peril.
607b15aa 2556
4ed12d4a
SH
2557It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
2558Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the
2559work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the
2560artist is in accord with himself.
607b15aa 2561
4ed12d4a
SH
2562We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as
2563he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless
2564thing is that one admires it intensely.
607b15aa 2565
4ed12d4a 2566All art is quite useless.
607b15aa 2567
2ee7da68 2568=head2 v5.15.2 - Rainer Maria Rilke, trans., C. F. MacIntyre, "Duino", The First Elegy
bfb65171 2569
6dab83b1 2570L<Announced on 2011-08-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/08/msg176067.html>
bfb65171 2571
5814c912
RS
2572 True, it is strange to live no more on earth,
2573 no longer follow the folkways scarecely learned;
2574 not to give roses and other especially auspicious
2575 things the significance of a human future;
2576 to be no more what one was in infinitely anxious hands,
2577 and to put aside even one's name, like a broken plaything.
2578 Strange, to wish wishes no longer. Strange, to see
2579 all that was related fluttering so loosely in space.
2580 And being dead is hard, full of catching-up,
2581 so that finally one feels a little eternity.–
2582 But the living all make the mistake of too sharp discrimination.
2583 Often angels (it's said) don't know if they move
2584 among the quick or the dead. The eternal current
2585 hurtles all ages along with it forever
2586 through both realms and drowns their voices in both.
bfb65171 2587
1889cb12
Z
2588=head2 v5.15.1 - Greg Egan, "Permutation City"
2589
2ccefb8a 2590L<Announced on 2011-07-20 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/07/msg175014.html>
1889cb12
Z
2591
2592Carter held out a hand towards the middle of the room. `See that
2593fountain?' A ten-metre-wide marble wedding cake, topped with a
2594winged cherub wrestling a serpent, duly appeared. Water cascaded
2595down from a gushing wound in the cherub's neck. Carter said, `It's
2596being computed by redundancies in the sketch of the city. I can
2597extract the results, because I know exactly where to look for them --
2598but nobody else would have a hope in hell of picking them out.'
2599
2600Peer walked up to the fountain. Even as he approached, he noticed
2601that the spray was intangible; when he dipped his hand in the water
2602around the base he felt nothing, and the motion he made with his
2603fingers left the foaming surface unchanged. They were spying on
2604the calculations, not interacting with them; the fountain was a
2605closed system.
2606
2607Carter said, `In your case, of course, nobody will need to know
2608the results. Except you -- and you'll know them because you'll
2609/be/ them.'
2610
452ead5e
DG
2611=head2 v5.15.0 - Neil Gaiman, "The Graveyard Book"
2612
2613L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173748.html>
2614
4ed12d4a 2615If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.
452ead5e 2616
c682aa67 2617=head2 v5.14.4 - Arthur C. Clarke, "The Nine Billion Names of God"
b3c5102d 2618
c682aa67 2619L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg199988.html>
b3c5102d 2620
c682aa67
SH
2621He began to sing, but gave it up after a while. This vast arena of
2622mountains, gleaming like whitely hooded ghosts on every side, did not
2623encourage such ebullience. Presently George glanced at his watch.
2624
2625'Should be there in an hour,' he called back over his shoulder to
2626Chuck. Then he added, in an afterthought: 'Wonder if the computer's
2627finished its run. It was due about now.'
2628
2629Chuck didn't reply, so George swung round in his saddle. He could just
2630see Chuck's face, a white oval turned towards the sky.
2631
2632'Look,' whispered Chuck, and George lifted his eyes to heaven. (There
2633is always a last time for everything.)
2634
2635Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.
2636
2637=head2 v5.14.3 - William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
2638
2639L<Announced on 2012-10-12 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194057.html>
2640
2641 The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all
2642 this time there was not any man died in his own person,
2643 videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed
2644 out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die
2645 before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he
2646 would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned
2647 nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good
2648 youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and
2649 being taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish
2650 coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.' But these
2651 are all lies: men have died from time to time and worms have
2652 eaten them, but not for love.
2653
2654=head2 v5.14.2 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
2655
2656L<Announced on 2011-09-26 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177618.html>
2657
2658It's not so much that people don't value the programs after they have them--they
2659do value them. But they're not the sort of thing that would ever catch on if
2660they had to overcome the marketing barrier. (I don't yet know if perl will
2661catch on at all--I'm worried enough about it that I specifically included an
2662awk-to-perl translator just to help it catch on.) Maybe it's all just an
2663inferiority complex. Or maybe I don't like to be mercenary.
2664
2665So I guess I'd say that the reason some software comes free is that the
2666mechanism for selling it is missing, either from the work environment, or from
2667the heart of the programmer.
b3c5102d 2668
c684cf36 2669=head2 v5.14.1 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
901b3fdb
LB
2670
2671L<Announced on 2011-06-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173650.html>
2672
2673At this point I'm no longer working for a company that makes me sign
2674my life away, but by now I'm in the habit. Besides, I still harbor
2675the deep-down suspicion that nobody would pay money for what I write,
2676since most of it just helps you do something better that you could
2677already do some other way. How much money would you personally pay
2678to upgrade from readnews to rn? How much money would you pay for
2679the patch program? As for warp, it's a mere game. And anything you
2680can do with perl you can eventually do with an amazing and totally
2681unreadable conglomeration of awk, sed, sh and C.
2682
c684cf36 2683=head2 v5.14.0 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
8b55b028
ZA
2684
2685L<Announced on 2011-05-14 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172326.html>
2686
2687At the start of any project, I'm programming primarily to please
2688myself. (The two chief virtues in a programmer are laziness and
2689impatience.) After a while somebody looks over my shoulder and says,
2690"That's neat. It'd be neater if it did such-and-so." So the thing
2691gets neater. Pretty soon (a year or two) I have an rn, a warp, a patch,
2692or a perl. One of these years I'll have a metaconfig.
2693
2694I then say to myself, "I don't want my life's work to die when this
2695computer is scrapped, so I should let some other people use this. If I
2696ask my company to sell this, it'll never see the light of day, and nobody
2697would pay much for it anyway. If I sell it myself, I'll be in trouble with
2698my company, to whom I signed my life away when I was hired. If I give it
2699away, I can pretend it was worthless in the first place, so my company
2700won't care. In any event, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."
2701
2702So a freely distributable program is born.
2703
2704=head2 v5.14.0-RC3 - American Airlines Gate Agent, last call
2705
2706L<Announced on 2011-05-11 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172282.html>
2707
2708This is the last call for flight 1697 with service to Chicago and
2709continuing service to San Francisco. All passengers should already be
2710aboard. If you aren't aboard at this time, you will be denied boarding
2711and your bags will be offloaded.
2712
2ee7da68 2713=head2 v5.14.0-RC2 - Greg Grandin, "Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City"
8b55b028
ZA
2714
2715L<Announced on 2011-05-04 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg171879.html>
2716
2717Over the course of nearly two decades, Ford would spend tens of millions
2718of dollars founding not one but, after the plantation was defastated
2719by leaf blight, two American towns, complete with central squares,
2720sidewalks, indoor plumbing, hospitals, manicured lawns, movie theaters,
2721swimming pools, golf courses, and, of course, Model Ts and As rolling
2722down their paved streets.
2723
2724Back in America, newspapers kept up their drumbeat celebration, only
2725obliquely referencing reports that things were not progressing as the
2726company had hoped. But there was one note of skepticism. In late 1928,
2727the Washington Post ran an editorial that read in its entirety: "Ford will
2728govern a rubber plantation in Brazil larger than North Carolina. This is
2729the first time he has applied quantity production methods to trouble"
2730
2731=head2 v5.14.0-RC1 - Bill Bryson, "In a Sunburned Country"
2732
2733L<Announced on 2011-04-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/04/msg171253.html>
2734
2735But then Australia is such a difficult country to keep track of. On
2736my first visit, some years ago, I passed the time on the long flight
2737reading a history of Australian politics in the twentieth century,
2738wherein I encountered the startling fact that in 1967 the prime minister,
2739Harold Holt, was strolling along a beach in Victoria when he plunged into
2740the surf and vanished. No trace of the poor man was ever seen again.
b86ac955 2741This seemed doubly astounding to me—first that Australia could
8b55b028
ZA
2742just I<lose> a prime minister (I mean, come on) and second that news of
2743this had never reached me.
2744
2ee7da68 2745=head2 v5.13.11 - Walt Whitman, L<"Leaves of Grass"|http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaves_of_Grass>
04496198 2746
f3d08688 2747L<Announced on 2011-03-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/03/msg170206.html>
04496198
FR
2748
2749 When the full-grown poet came,
2750 Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all its
2751 shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;
2752 But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unreconciled,
2753 Nay he is mine alone;
2754 --Then the full-grown poet stood between the two, and took each
2755 by the hand;
c2a00619
KW
2756 And to-day and ever so stands, as blender, uniter, tightly
2757 holding hands,
04496198
FR
2758 Which he will never release until he reconciles the two,
2759 And wholly and joyously blends them.
2760
2ee7da68 2761=head2 v5.13.10 - Egill Skalla-Grímsson, L<"Egils saga Skalla-Grímssonar"|http://www.heimskringla.no/wiki/Egils_saga_Skalla-Gr%C3%ADmssonar>
f1e17f6f 2762
fbc70a9e 2763L<Announced on 2011-02-20 by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/02/msg169340.html>
30688243 2764
4ed12d4a
SH
2765 Skalat maðr rúnar rísta,
2766 nema ráða vel kunni.
2767 Þat verðr mörgum manni,
2768 es of myrkvan staf villisk.
2769 Sák á telgðu talkni
2770 tíu launstafi ristna.
2771 Þat hefr lauka lindi
2772 langs ofrtrega fengit.
30688243 2773
79af17bd
AB
2774=head2 v5.13.9 - John F Kennedy, L<Inaugural Address January 20, 1961|http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy%27s_Inaugural_Address>
2775
2776L<Announced on 2011-01-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168335.html>
2777
2778In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been
2779granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I
2780do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it. I do not believe
2781that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other
2782generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this
2783endeavor will light our country and all who serve it. And the glow from
2784that fire can truly light the world.
2785
2786And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
2787ask what you can do for your country.
2788
2789My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you,
2790but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
2791
2792Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world,
2793ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which
2794we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history
2795the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love,
2796asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's
2797work must truly be our own.
2798
94521723
Z
2799=head2 v5.13.8 - Roger Williams, L<"The Fifth Gift"|http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/8/19/21304/8493>
2800
2831a86c
ZA
2801L<Announced on 2010-12-19 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/12/msg167271.html>
2802
94521723
Z
2803The aliens called the box a "matter generator," but we'd be more inclined
2804to call it a matter duplicator. By connecting switches and potentiometers
2805between the copper posts it was possible to make the box mark off two
2806cubic rectangular areas of volume. Make a certain contact, and these
2807areas would be isolated within perfectly reflective fields. They could
2808be expanded or contracted by altering resistances between other posts.
2809As I worked out the user interface I built a little control panel for
2810the device. It was actually a clever way for the aliens to do things;
2811instead of trying to build controls we could use, they built us an
2812interface we could attach to controls that made sense to us. It could
2813also be automated.
2814
2815Once you had made the contact that established the shielded volumes,
2816if you made another certain contact the contents of the first volume
2817were copied to the second. The machine copied metal, plastic, steel,
2818and diamond with equal ease. Copies of copies of copies of copies were
2819indistinguishable from the originals at any magnification, even using
2820techniques like X-ray crystallography.
2821
2ee7da68 2822=head2 v5.13.7 - Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski, "The Matrix"
6b1649d0 2823
2831a86c
ZA
2824L<Announced on 2010-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/11/msg166162.html>
2825
6b1649d0
CBW
2826[Neo sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one]
2827
5814c912 2828 Neo: Whoa. Deja vu.
6b1649d0
CBW
2829
2830[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
2831
5814c912
RS
2832 Trinity: What did you just say?
2833 Neo: Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
2834 Trinity: What did you see?
2835 Cypher: What happened?
89550e55
RS
2836 Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just
2837 like it.
5814c912
RS
2838 Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
2839 Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure.
2840 Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
2841 Neo: What is it?
89550e55
RS
2842 Trinity: A deja vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when
2843 they change something.
6b1649d0 2844
54cc2c9a
TM
2845=head2 v5.13.6 - Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"
2846
2831a86c
ZA
2847L<Announced on 2010-10-20 by Tatsuhiko Miyagawa|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/10/msg165183.html>
2848
54cc2c9a
TM
2849The boy called Crow softly rests a hand on my shoulder, and with that
2850he storm vanishes.
2851
2852"From now on -- no matter what -- you've got to be the world's toughest
2853fifteen-year-old. That's the only way you're going to survive. And in order
2854to do that, you've got to figure out what it means to be tough. You following
2855me?"
2856
2857I keep my eyes closed and don't reply. I just want to sink off into sleep
2858like this, his hand on my shoulder. I hear the faint flutter of wings.
2859
2860"You're going to be the world's toughest fifteen-year-old," Crow whispers
2861as I try to fall asleep. Like he was carving the words in a deep blue tattoo
2862on my heart.
2863
2864(Translated from Japanese by Philip Gabriel)
2865
f6c56125
SH
2866=head2 v5.13.5 - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, "The Room in the Dragon Volant"
2867
2831a86c
ZA
2868L<Announced on 2010-09-19 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg164238.html>
2869
f6c56125
SH
2870Candle in hand I stepped in. I do not know whether the quality of
2871air, long undisturbed, is peculiar; to me it has always seemed so, and
2872the damp smell of the old masonry hung in this atmosphere. My candle
2873faintly lighted the bare stone wall that enclosed the stair, the foot
2874of which I could not see. Down I went, and a few turns brought me to
2875the stone floor. Here was another door, of the simple, old, oak kind,
2876deep sunk in the thickness of the wall. The large end of the key
2877fitted this. The lock was stiff; I set the candle down upon the
2878stair, and applied both hands; it turned with difficulty, and as it
2879revolved, uttered a shriek that alarmed me for my secret.
2880
2881For some minutes I did not move. In a little time, however, I took
2882courage, and opened the door. The night-air floating in puffed out
2883the candle. There was a thicket of holly and underwood, as dense as a
2884jungle, close about the door. I should have been in pitch-darkness,
2885were it not that through the topmost leaves there twinkled, here and
2886there, a glimmer of moonshine.
2887
2888Softly, lest any one should have opened his window at the sound of the
2889rusty bolt, I struggled through this till I gained a view of the open
2890grounds. Here I found that the brushwood spread a good way up the
2891park, uniting with the wood that approached the little temple I have
806849f8 2892described.
f6c56125 2893
fdea69f9
FR
2894=head2 v5.13.4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2895
2831a86c
ZA
2896L<Announced on 2010-08-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163150.html>
2897
fdea69f9
FR
2898`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice;
2899`I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat
2900it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
2901she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
2902
4ed12d4a
SH
2903 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
2904 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
2905 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
2906 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
fdea69f9
FR
2907
2908
2909`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.
2910
2911`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
2912nonsense.'
2913
2914Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
2915anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
2916
2917`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
2918
2919`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
2920
2921`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How could he turn them out
2922with his nose, you know?'
2923
2924`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
2925the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
2926
0feeb912
DG
2927=head2 v5.13.3 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"
2928
2831a86c
ZA
2929L<Announced on 2010-07-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/07/msg162230.html>
2930
0feeb912
DG
2931Look at Crowley, doing 110 mph on the M40 heading towards
2932Oxfordshire. Even the most resolutely casual observer would
2933notice a number of strange things about him. The clenched teeth,
2934for example, or the dull red glow coming from behind his
2935sunglasses. And the car. The car was a definite hint.
2936
2937Crowley had started the journey in his Bentley, and he was
2938dammned if he wasn't going to finish it in the Bentley as well.
2939Not that even the kind of car buff who owns his own pair of
2940motoring goggles would have been able to tell it was a vintage
2941Bentley. Not any more. They wouldn't have been able to tell
2942that it was a Bentley. They would only offer fifty-fifty that it
2943had ever even been a car.
2944
2945There was no paint left on it, for a start. It might still have
2946been black, where it wasn't a rusty, smudged reddish-brown, but
2947this was a dull charcoal black. It traveled in its own ball of
2948flame, like a space capsule making a particularly difficult
2949re-entry.
2950
2951There was a thin skin of crusted, melted rubber left around the
2952metal wheel rims, but seeing that the wheel rims were still
2953somhow riding an inch above the road surface this didn't seem to
2954make an awful lot of difference to the suspension.
2955
2956It should have fallen apart miles back.
2957
3c55f444
MT
2958=head2 v5.13.2 - Iain M Banks, "Use of Weapons"
2959
2831a86c
ZA
2960L<Announced on 2010-06-22 by Matt S Trout|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/06/msg161112.html>
2961
51caa79e
DG
2962We deal in the moral equivalent of black holes, where the normal laws -
2963the rules of right and wrong that people imagine apply everywhere else
2964in the universe - break down; beyond those metaphysical event-horizons,
3c55f444
MT
2965there exist ... special circumstances.
2966
2967=head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote"
d069c093 2968
2831a86c
ZA
2969L<Announced on 2010-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160275.html>
2970
d069c093
RS
2971And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct
2972bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail
2973yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out
2974with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even
2975if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build
2976bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in
2977quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough.
2978
c7bed260
Z
2979=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
2980
2981L<Announced on 2010-04-20 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg159275.html>
2982
2983The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
2984involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
2985when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
2986streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
2987road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
2988seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
2989smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
2990
2991"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
2992volcano were once more to set to work."
2993
c682aa67
SH
2994=head2 v5.12.5 - William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure"
2995
2996L<Announced on 2012-11-10 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195171.html>
2997
2998 Music oft hath such a charm
2999 To make bad good, and good provoke to harm.
3000
3001=head2 v5.12.4 - William Schwenck Gilbert, "Trial By Jury"
3002
3003L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173725.html>
3004
3005 You cannot eat breakfast all day,
3006 Nor is it the act of a sinner,
3007 When breakfast is taken away,
3008 To turn his attention to dinner;
3009 And it's not in the range of belief,
3010 To look upon him as a glutton,
3011 Who, when he is tired of beef,
3012 Determines to tackle the mutton.
3013 Ah! But this I am willing to say,
3014 If it will appease her sorrow,
3015 I'll marry this lady today,
3016 And I'll marry the other tomorrow!
3017
3018=head2 v5.12.4-RC2 - James Russell Lowell, "Eleanor makes macaroons"
3019
3020L<Announced on 2011-06-15 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173609.html>
3021
3022 Now for sugar, -- nay, our plan
3023 Tolerates no work of man.
3024 Hurry, then, ye golden bees;
3025 Fetch your clearest honey, please,
3026 Garnered on a Yorkshire moor,
3027 While the last larks sing and soar,
3028 From the heather-blossoms sweet
3029 Where sea-breeze and sunshine meet,
3030 And the Augusts mask as Junes, --
3031 Eleanor makes macaroons!
3032
3033=head2 v5.12.4-RC1 - Ogden Nash, "The Clean Plater"
3034
3035L<Announced on 2011-06-08 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173352.html>
3036
3037 Pheasant is pleasant, of course,
3038 And terrapin, too, is tasty,
3039 Lobster I freely endorse,
3040 In pate or patty or pasty.
3041 But there's nothing the matter with butter,
3042 And nothing the matter with jam,
3043 And the warmest greetings I utter
3044 To the ham and the yam and the clam.
3045 For they're food,
3046 All food,
3047 And I think very fondly of food.
3048 Through I'm broody at times
3049 When bothered by rhymes,
3050 I brood
3051 On food.
3052
c7bed260
Z
3053=head2 v5.12.3 - Howard W. Campbell, Jr., "Reflections on Not Participating in Current Events"
3054
3055L<Announced on 2011-01-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168368.html>
3056
3057 I saw a huge steam roller,
3058 It blotted out the sun.
3059 The people all lay down, lay down;
3060 They did not try to run.
3061 My love and I, we looked amazed
3062 Upon the gory mystery.
3063 'Lie down, lie down!' the people cried.
3064 'The great machine is history!'
3065 My love and I, we ran away,
3066 The engine did not find us.
3067 We ran up to a mountain top,
3068 Left history far behind us.
3069 Perhaps we should have stayed and died,
3070 But somehow we don't think so.
3071 We went to see where history'd been,
3072 And my, the dead did stink so.
3073
3074=head2 v5.12.2 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
3075
3076L<Announced on 2010-09-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg163852.html>
3077
3078CPUs. Cayce Pollard Units. That's what Damien calls the clothing
3079she wears. CPUs are either black, white, or gray, and ideally
3080seem to have come into this world without human intervention.
3081
3082What people take for relentless minimalism is a side effect
3083of too much exposure to the reactor-cores of fashion. This
3084has resulted in a remorseless paring-down of what she can and
3085will wear. She is, literally, allergic to fashion. She can
3086only tolerate things that could have been worn, to a general
3087lack of comment, during any year between 1945 and 2000. She's a
3088design-free zone, a one-woman school of and whose very austerity
3089periodically threatens to spawn its own cult.
3090
3091=head2 v5.12.2-RC1 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
3092
3093L<Announced on 2010-08-31 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163670.html>
3094
3095The front page opens, familiar as a friend's living room. A frame-grab
3096from #48 serves as backdrop, dim and almost monochrome, no characters in
3097view. This is one of the sequences that generate comparisons with
3098Tarkovsky. She only knows Tarkovsky from stills, really, though she did
3099once fall asleep during a screening of The Stalker, going under on an
3100endless pan, the camera aimed straight down, in close-up, at a puddle on
3101a ruined mosaic floor. But she is not one of those who think that much
3102will be gained by analysis of the maker's imagined influences. The cult
3103of the footage is rife with subcults, claiming every possible influence.
3104Truffaut, Peckinpah -- The Peckinpah people, among the least likely, are
3105still waiting for the guns to be drawn.
3106
4363636d
DG
3107=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
3108
2831a86c
ZA
3109L<Announced on 2010-05-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160109.html>
3110
4363636d
DG
3111"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
3112many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
d517a16a
Z
3113Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs --
3114what we might call ice-one -- is only one of several types of ice.
4363636d
DG
3115Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
3116had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
3117...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
d517a16a
Z
3118"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- a crystal as
3119hard as this desk -- with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
4363636d
DG
3120degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
3121and-thirty degrees."
3122
4363636d
DG
3123=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
3124
2831a86c
ZA
3125L<Announced on 2010-05-13 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160066.html>
3126
4363636d
DG
3127San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
3128the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
3129hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
3130of the Free World."
3131
3132Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
3133level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
3134harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
3135exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
3136
2831a86c
ZA
3137=head2 v5.12.1-RC1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
3138
3139L<Announced on 2010-05-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg159971.html>
4363636d 3140
4363636d
DG
3141Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
3142the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
3143just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
3144a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
3145it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
3146of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
3147common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
3148bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
3149
4ed12d4a
SH
3150 Around and around and around we spin,
3151 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
4363636d 3152
4363636d
DG
3153=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3154
2831a86c
ZA
3155L<Announced on 2010-04-12 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158820.html>
3156
4363636d
DG
3157'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
3158not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
3159your cat grins like that?'
3160
3161'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
3162
3163She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
3164jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
3165and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
3166
3167'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
3168that cats COULD grin.'
3169
3170'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
3171
4363636d
DG
3172=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3173
2831a86c
ZA
3174L<Announced on 2010-04-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158720.html>
3175
4363636d
DG
3176'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
3177have got altered.'
3178
3179'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
3180there was silence for some minutes.
3181
4363636d
DG
3182=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3183
2831a86c
ZA
3184L<Announced on 2010-04-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158567.html>
3185
4363636d
DG
3186'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
3187always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
3188rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
3189yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
3190can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
3191kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
3192
4363636d
DG
3193=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3194
2831a86c
ZA
3195L<Announced on 2010-04-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158346.html>
3196
4363636d
DG
3197At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
3198called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
3199dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
3200in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
3201sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
3202
3203'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
3204is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
3205the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
3206to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
3207accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
d517a16a 3208Mercia and Northumbria --"'
4363636d 3209
2831a86c 3210=head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no announcement
4363636d 3211
2831a86c 3212Available on CPAN since 2010-04-01.
4363636d 3213
3e340399 3214=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
4363636d 3215
2831a86c
ZA
3216L<Announced on 2010-03-29 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg158060.html>
3217
4363636d
DG
3218So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
3219hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
3220making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
3221picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
3222close by her.
3223
3224There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
3225VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
3226dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
3227occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
3228it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
3229OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
3230Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
3231never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
3232take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
3233after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
3234rabbit-hole under the hedge.
3235
3236In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
3237in the world she was to get out again.
3238
0e6b8110 3239=head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph
4363636d 3240
2831a86c 3241L<Announced on 2020-03-21 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg157761.html>
4363636d 3242
3e340399 3243=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
4363636d 3244
2831a86c
ZA
3245L<Announced on 2010-02-21 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/02/msg156957.html>
3246
4ed12d4a
SH
3247 A little child, a limber elf,
3248 Singing, dancing to itself,
3249 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
3250 That always finds, and never seeks,
3251 Makes such a vision to the sight
3252 As fills a father's eyes with light;
3253 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
3254 Upon his heart, that he at last
3255 Must needs express his love's excess
3256 With words of unmeant bitterness.
3257 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
3258 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
3259 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
3260 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
3261 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
3262 At each wild word to feel within
3263 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
3264 And what, if in a world of sin
3265 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
3266 Such giddiness of heart and brain
3267 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
3268 So talks as it's most used to do.
4363636d 3269
4363636d
DG
3270=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
3271
2831a86c
ZA
3272L<Announced on 2010-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/01/msg155848.html>
3273
4363636d
DG
3274And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
3275into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
3276mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
3277question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
3278hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
3279louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
3280who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
3281worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
3282done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
3283
4363636d
DG
3284=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
3285
2831a86c
ZA
3286L<Announced on 2009-12-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/12/msg154838.html>
3287
4363636d 3288"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
d517a16a 3289course you'd druther work -- wouldn't you? Course you would!"
4363636d
DG
3290
3291Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
3292
3293"Why ain't that work?"
3294
3295Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
3296is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
3297
3298"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
3299
3300The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
3301to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
3302
3303That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
3304swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
3305-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
3306watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
3307absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
3308
4363636d
DG
3309=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
3310
f0ccce9b 3311L<Announced on 2009-11-20 by Léon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/11/msg153646.html>
2831a86c 3312
4363636d
DG
3313The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
3314at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
3315streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
3316the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
3317live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
3318colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
3319as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
3320wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
3321prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
3322however much they're into colour.
3323
4363636d
DG
3324=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
3325
2831a86c
ZA
3326L<Announced on 2009-10-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg152360.html>
3327
4363636d
DG
3328Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
3329and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
3330word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
3331disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
3332everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
3333on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
3334that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
3335glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
b10ee209 3336war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Milo
4363636d
DG
3337presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
3338for more hazardous assignment.
3339
4363636d
DG
3340=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
3341
2831a86c
ZA
3342L<Announced on 2009-10-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg151376.html>
3343
4363636d
DG
3344Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
3345streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
3346trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
3347to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
3348about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
3349of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
3350facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
3351explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
3352Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
3353people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
3354work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
3355their art.
3356
4363636d
DG
3357=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
3358
dd047fac 3359L<Announced on 2009-08-23 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150172.html>
2831a86c 3360
4363636d
DG
3361'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
3362the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
3363Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
3364Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
3365responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
3366Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
3367Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
3368Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
3369Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
3370Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
3371
3372'Can they all type?' I joked.
3373
3374'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
3375McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
3376
3377I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
3378'We could have opened an agency.'
3379
3380Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
3381Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
3382amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
3383all say that, do they?' I ventured.
3384
3385Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
3386replied. 'Not quite all.'
3387
0e6b8110 3388=head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph
4363636d 3389
2831a86c 3390L<Announced on 2009-08-18 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150015.html>
3e340399 3391
0e6b8110 3392=head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph
4363636d 3393
2831a86c 3394L<Announced on 2009-08-06 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg149498.html>
3e340399 3395
c7bed260 3396=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
4363636d 3397
c7bed260
Z
3398L<Announced on 2007-12-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/12/msg131636.html>
3399
3400He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
3401he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
3402out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
3403noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
3404must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
3405number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
3406did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
3407
3408=head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph
3409
3410L<Announced on 2007-11-25 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130978.html>
3411
3412=head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph
3413
3414L<Announced on 2007-11-17 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130653.html>
3415
3416=head2 v5.9.5 - no announcement
3417
3418L<Pre-announced on 2007-07-07 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/07/msg126358.html>,
3419available on CPAN with same date, but never actually announced.
3420
3421=head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph
3422
3423L<Announced on 2006-08-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/08/msg115782.html>
3424
3425=head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph
3426
3427L<Announced on 2006-01-28 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109086.html>
3428
3429=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
3430
f3d08688 3431L<Announced on 2005-04-01 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/04/msg99421.html>
c7bed260
Z
3432
3433This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
3434gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
3435technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
3436about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
3437bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
3438paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
3439in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
3440electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
3441picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
3442to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
3443technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
3444getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
3445sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
3446it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
3447conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
3448
3449"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
3450that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
3451`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
3452
3453"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
3454one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
3455flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
3456everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
3457make you flip?
3458
3459=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
3460
f3d08688 3461L<Announced on 2004-03-16 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89722.html>
c7bed260
Z
3462
3463Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
3464
3465=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
3466
f3d08688 3467L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84147.html>
c7bed260
Z
3468
3469What of October, that ambiguous month
4363636d 3470
4363636d
DG
3471=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
3472
2831a86c
ZA
3473L<Announced on 2008-12-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142571.html>
3474
4363636d
DG
3475Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
3476proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
3477the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
3478anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
3479how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
3480
3481'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
3482
3483This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
3484that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
3485
3486'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
3487expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
3488anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
3489sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
3490
3491This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
3492basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
3493policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
3494disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
3495the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
3496Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
3497and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
3498Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
3499
3500In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
3501reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
3502
3503I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
3504Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
3505for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
3506had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
3507work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
3508the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
3509left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
3510pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
3511the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
3512the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
3513
3514I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
3515publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
3516Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
3517
3518So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
3519pushing to increase the membership?
3520
3521'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
3522more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
3523futile and impotent it becomes.'
3524
3525This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
3526
3527Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
3528diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
3529
4363636d
DG
3530=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
3531
dd047fac 3532L<Announced on 2008-12-06 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142422.html>
2831a86c 3533
4363636d
DG
3534There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
3535about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
3536four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
3537anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
3538thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
3539
3540Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
3541and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
3542press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
3543obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
3544produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
3545this draft...'
3546
3547I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
3548hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
3549incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
3550
3551'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
3552redundancy payments as well.'
3553
3554'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
3555it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
3556
3557'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
3558
4363636d
DG
3559=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
3560
2831a86c
ZA
3561L<Announced on 2008-11-10 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/11/msg141515.html>
3562
4363636d
DG
3563A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
3564was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
3565and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
3566jets and all.
3567
3568I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
3569
3570I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
3571Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
3572specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
3573the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
3574jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
3575grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
3576in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
3577
3578While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
3579taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
3580me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
3581sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
3582three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
3583plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
3584occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
3585were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
3586
3587And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
3588were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
3589
3590Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
3591name like Charlie Umtali?
3592
3593I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
3594know something about our official visitor.
3595
3596Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
3597has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
3598car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
3599to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
3600knew little of his background.
3601
3602I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
3603Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
3604first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
3605
3606Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
3607
3608'Why?' I enquired.
3609
3610'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
3611to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
3612never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
3613
3614Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
3615that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
3616
3617In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
3618where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
3619revolving door and comes out in front.'
3620
3621'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
3622
3623'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
3624
3625'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
3626
4363636d
DG
3627=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
3628
f3d08688 3629L<Announced on 2006-01-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109190.html>
2831a86c 3630
4ed12d4a
SH
3631 It's not that easy bein' green
3632 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
3633 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
3634 Or something much more colorful like that
51caa79e 3635
4ed12d4a
SH
3636 It's not easy bein' green
3637 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
3638 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
3639 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
3640 Or stars in the sky
51caa79e 3641
4ed12d4a
SH
3642 But green's the color of Spring
3643 And green can be cool and friendly-like
3644 And green can be big like an ocean
3645 Or important like a mountain
3646 Or tall like a tree
4363636d 3647
4ed12d4a
SH
3648 When green is all there is to be
3649 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
3650 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
3651 And I think it's what I want to be
4363636d 3652
4363636d
DG
3653=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
3654
f3d08688 3655L<Announced on 2006-01-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg108833.html>
2831a86c 3656
4ed12d4a 3657 Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
51caa79e 3658
4ed12d4a 3659 Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
4363636d 3660
4363636d
DG
3661=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
3662
f3d08688 3663L<Announced on 2005-05-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg101088.html>
2831a86c 3664
4363636d
DG
3665And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
3666hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
3667cat.
3668
3669Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
51caa79e 3670the wolf? What then?"
4363636d 3671
4363636d
DG
3672=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
3673
2831a86c
ZA
3674L<Announced on 2005-05-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg100711.html>
3675
4363636d
DG
3676And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
3677bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
3678round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
3679
3680In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
3681gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
3682climbed up the high stone wall.
3683
3684One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
3685stretched out over the wall.
3686
3687Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
3688Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
3689take care that he doesn't catch you!".
3690
3691The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
3692snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
3693
3694How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
51caa79e 3695the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
4363636d 3696
4363636d
DG
3697=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
3698
f3d08688 3699L<Announced on 2004-11-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg96304.html>
2831a86c 3700
4363636d 3701"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
51caa79e 3702you."
4363636d 3703
51caa79e 3704"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
4363636d
DG
3705
3706"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
3707and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
51caa79e 3708to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
4363636d 3709
51caa79e 3710"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
4363636d
DG
3711
3712"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
3713planting it."
3714
3715"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
51caa79e 3716grow up into a beehive."
4363636d 3717
51caa79e 3718Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
4363636d
DG
3719
3720"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
3721Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
51caa79e 3722wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
4363636d 3723
51caa79e 3724Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
4363636d
DG
3725
3726"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
3727how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
51caa79e 3728and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
4363636d 3729
4363636d
DG
3730=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
3731
2831a86c
ZA
3732L<Announced on 2004-11-11 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg95786.html>
3733
4363636d
DG
3734"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
3735
3736"Hunting," said Pooh.
3737
3738"Hunting what?"
3739
3740"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
3741
3742"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
3743
3744"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
3745
3746"What do you think you'll answer?"
3747
3748"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
3749"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
3750you see there?"
3751
3752"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
3753excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
3754
4363636d
DG
3755=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
3756
f3d08688 3757L<Announced on 2004-07-19 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg93189.html>
2831a86c 3758
4363636d
DG
3759Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
3760ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
3761bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
3762waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
3763droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
3764hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
3765longbow.
3766
3767In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
3768often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
3769placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
3770likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
3771may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
3772Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
3773Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
3774farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
3775grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
51caa79e 3776T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
4363636d 3777
4363636d
DG
3778=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
3779
f3d08688 3780L<Announced on 2004-07-09 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92934.html>
2831a86c 3781
4363636d
DG
3782Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
3783ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
3784sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
3785pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
3786shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
3787
3788The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
3789Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
51caa79e 3790Caledonia and South America.
4363636d 3791
4363636d
DG
3792=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
3793
f3d08688 3794L<Announced on 2004-07-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92840.html>
2831a86c 3795
4363636d
DG
3796The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
3797often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
3798large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
3799and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
3800spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
3801year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
3802may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
3803
3804It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
3805branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
3806of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
3807that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
3808
3809Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
3810other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
3811acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
3812mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
3813
3814It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
51caa79e 3815heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
4363636d 3816
4363636d
DG
3817=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
3818
f3d08688 3819L<Announced on 2004-04-22 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90984.html>
2831a86c 3820
4363636d
DG
3821 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
3822 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
3823 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
3824 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
3825
3826 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
3827 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
3828 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
3829 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
3830 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
3831 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
3832 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
3833 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
3834
4363636d
DG
3835 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
3836 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
3837
4363636d
DG
3838
3839=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
3840
f3d08688 3841L<Announced on 2004-04-16 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90796.html>
2831a86c 3842
4363636d
DG
3843 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
3844 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
3845 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
3846 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
3847
3848 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
3849 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
3850 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
3851 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
3852 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
3853 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!