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1=head1 NAME
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0e6b8110 3perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs
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5=head1 DESCRIPTION
6
0e6b8110 7Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt
4363636d 8from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or
0e6b8110 9release manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for
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10posterity.
11
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12I<Note>: these have also been referred to as <epigrams>, but the
13definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used.
14Consult your favorite dictionary for details.
15
16=head1 EPIGRAPHS
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18=head2 v5.13.5 - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, "The Room in the Dragon Volant"
19
20Candle in hand I stepped in. I do not know whether the quality of
21air, long undisturbed, is peculiar; to me it has always seemed so, and
22the damp smell of the old masonry hung in this atmosphere. My candle
23faintly lighted the bare stone wall that enclosed the stair, the foot
24of which I could not see. Down I went, and a few turns brought me to
25the stone floor. Here was another door, of the simple, old, oak kind,
26deep sunk in the thickness of the wall. The large end of the key
27fitted this. The lock was stiff; I set the candle down upon the
28stair, and applied both hands; it turned with difficulty, and as it
29revolved, uttered a shriek that alarmed me for my secret.
30
31For some minutes I did not move. In a little time, however, I took
32courage, and opened the door. The night-air floating in puffed out
33the candle. There was a thicket of holly and underwood, as dense as a
34jungle, close about the door. I should have been in pitch-darkness,
35were it not that through the topmost leaves there twinkled, here and
36there, a glimmer of moonshine.
37
38Softly, lest any one should have opened his window at the sound of the
39rusty bolt, I struggled through this till I gained a view of the open
40grounds. Here I found that the brushwood spread a good way up the
41park, uniting with the wood that approached the little temple I have
42described.
43
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44=head2 v5.13.4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
45
46`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice;
47`I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat
48it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
49she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
50
51 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
52 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
53 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
54 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
55
56
57`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.
58
59`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
60nonsense.'
61
62Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
63anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
64
65`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
66
67`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
68
69`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How could he turn them out
70with his nose, you know?'
71
72`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
73the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
74
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75=head2 v5.13.3 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"
76
77Look at Crowley, doing 110 mph on the M40 heading towards
78Oxfordshire. Even the most resolutely casual observer would
79notice a number of strange things about him. The clenched teeth,
80for example, or the dull red glow coming from behind his
81sunglasses. And the car. The car was a definite hint.
82
83Crowley had started the journey in his Bentley, and he was
84dammned if he wasn't going to finish it in the Bentley as well.
85Not that even the kind of car buff who owns his own pair of
86motoring goggles would have been able to tell it was a vintage
87Bentley. Not any more. They wouldn't have been able to tell
88that it was a Bentley. They would only offer fifty-fifty that it
89had ever even been a car.
90
91There was no paint left on it, for a start. It might still have
92been black, where it wasn't a rusty, smudged reddish-brown, but
93this was a dull charcoal black. It traveled in its own ball of
94flame, like a space capsule making a particularly difficult
95re-entry.
96
97There was a thin skin of crusted, melted rubber left around the
98metal wheel rims, but seeing that the wheel rims were still
99somhow riding an inch above the road surface this didn't seem to
100make an awful lot of difference to the suspension.
101
102It should have fallen apart miles back.
103
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104=head2 v5.13.2 - Iain M Banks, "Use of Weapons"
105
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106We deal in the moral equivalent of black holes, where the normal laws -
107the rules of right and wrong that people imagine apply everywhere else
108in the universe - break down; beyond those metaphysical event-horizons,
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109there exist ... special circumstances.
110
111=head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote"
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112
113And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct
114bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail
115yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out
116with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even
117if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build
118bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in
119quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough.
120
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121=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
122
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123The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
124involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
125when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
126streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
127road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
128seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
129smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
130
131"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
132volcano were once more to set to work."
133
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134=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
135
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136"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
137many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
138Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs—
139what we might call ice-one—is only one of several types of ice.
140Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
141had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
142...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
143"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine—a crystal as
144hard as this desk—with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
145degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
146and-thirty degrees."
147
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148=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
149
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150San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
151the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
152hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
153of the Free World."
154
155Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
156level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
157harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
158exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
159
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160=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
161
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162Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
163the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
164just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
165a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
166it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
167of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
168common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
169bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
170
171 Around and around and around we spin,
172 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
173
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174=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
175
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176'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
177not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
178your cat grins like that?'
179
180'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
181
182She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
183jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
184and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
185
186'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
187that cats COULD grin.'
188
189'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
190
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191=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
192
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193'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
194have got altered.'
195
196'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
197there was silence for some minutes.
198
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199=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
200
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201'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
202always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
203rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
204yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
205can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
206kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
207
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208=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
209
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210At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
211called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
212dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
213in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
214sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
215
216'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
217is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
218the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
219to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
220accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
221Mercia and Northumbria—"'
222
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3e340399 227=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
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228
229So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
230hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
231making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
232picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
233close by her.
234
235There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
236VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
237dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
238occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
239it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
240OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
241Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
242never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
243take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
244after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
245rabbit-hole under the hedge.
246
247In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
248in the world she was to get out again.
249
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3e340399 254=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
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255
256 A little child, a limber elf,
257 Singing, dancing to itself,
258 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
259 That always finds, and never seeks,
260 Makes such a vision to the sight
261 As fills a father's eyes with light;
262 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
263 Upon his heart, that he at last
264 Must needs express his love's excess
265 With words of unmeant bitterness.
266 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
267 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
268 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
269 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
270 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
271 At each wild word to feel within
272 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
273 And what, if in a world of sin
274 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
275 Such giddiness of heart and brain
276 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
277 So talks as it's most used to do.
278
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279=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
280
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281And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
282into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
283mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
284question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
285hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
286louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
287who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
288worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
289done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
290
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291=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
292
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293"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
294course you'd druther work—wouldn't you? Course you would!"
295
296Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
297
298"Why ain't that work?"
299
300Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
301is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
302
303"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
304
305The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
306to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
307
308That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
309swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
310-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
311watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
312absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
313
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314
315=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
316
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317The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
318at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
319streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
320the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
321live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
322colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
323as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
324wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
325prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
326however much they're into colour.
327
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328=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
329
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330Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
331and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
332word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
333disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
334everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
335on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
336that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
337glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
338war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Mil
339presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
340for more hazardous assignment.
341
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342=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
343
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344Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
345streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
346trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
347to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
348about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
349of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
350facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
351explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
352Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
353people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
354work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
355their art.
356
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357
358=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
359
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360'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
361the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
362Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
363Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
364responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
365Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
366Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
367Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
368Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
369Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
370
371'Can they all type?' I joked.
372
373'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
374McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
375
376I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
377'We could have opened an agency.'
378
379Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
380Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
381amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
382all say that, do they?' I ventured.
383
384Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
385replied. 'Not quite all.'
386
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3e340399 395=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
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396
397He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
398he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
399out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
400noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
401must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
402number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
403did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
404
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3e340399 425=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
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426
427This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
428gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
429technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
430about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
431bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
432paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
433in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
434electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
435picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
436to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
437technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
438getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
439sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
440it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
441conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
442
443"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
444that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
445`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
446
447"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
448one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
449flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
450everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
451make you flip?
452
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453=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
454
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455Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
456
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457=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
458
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459What of October, that ambiguous month
460
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461=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
462
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463Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
464proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
465the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
466anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
467how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
468
469'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
470
471This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
472that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
473
474'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
475expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
476anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
477sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
478
479This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
480basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
481policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
482disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
483the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
484Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
485and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
486Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
487
488In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
489reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
490
491I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
492Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
493for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
494had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
495work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
496the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
497left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
498pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
499the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
500the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
501
502I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
503publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
504Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
505
506So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
507pushing to increase the membership?
508
509'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
510more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
511futile and impotent it becomes.'
512
513This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
514
515Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
516diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
517
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518=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
519
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520There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
521about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
522four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
523anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
524thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
525
526Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
527and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
528press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
529obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
530produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
531this draft...'
532
533I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
534hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
535incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
536
537'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
538redundancy payments as well.'
539
540'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
541it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
542
543'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
544
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545=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
546
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547A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
548was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
549and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
550jets and all.
551
552I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
553
554I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
555Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
556specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
557the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
558jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
559grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
560in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
561
562While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
563taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
564me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
565sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
566three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
567plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
568occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
569were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
570
571And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
572were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
573
574Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
575name like Charlie Umtali?
576
577I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
578know something about our official visitor.
579
580Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
581has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
582car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
583to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
584knew little of his background.
585
586I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
587Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
588first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
589
590Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
591
592'Why?' I enquired.
593
594'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
595to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
596never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
597
598Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
599that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
600
601In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
602where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
603revolving door and comes out in front.'
604
605'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
606
607'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
608
609'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
610
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611=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
612
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613 It's not that easy bein' green
614 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
4363636d 615 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
51caa79e
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616 Or something much more colorful like that
617
618 It's not easy bein' green
4363636d 619 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
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620 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
621 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
622 Or stars in the sky
623
624 But green's the color of Spring
625 And green can be cool and friendly-like
626 And green can be big like an ocean
627 Or important like a mountain
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628 Or tall like a tree
629
630 When green is all there is to be
631 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
632 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
633 And I think it's what I want to be
634
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635=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
636
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637 Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
638
639 Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
4363636d 640
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641=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
642
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643And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
644hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
645cat.
646
647Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
51caa79e 648the wolf? What then?"
4363636d 649
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650=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
651
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652And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
653bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
654round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
655
656In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
657gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
658climbed up the high stone wall.
659
660One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
661stretched out over the wall.
662
663Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
664Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
665take care that he doesn't catch you!".
666
667The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
668snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
669
670How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
51caa79e 671the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
4363636d 672
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673=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
674
4363636d 675"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
51caa79e 676you."
4363636d 677
51caa79e 678"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
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679
680"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
681and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
51caa79e 682to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
4363636d 683
51caa79e 684"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
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685
686"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
687planting it."
688
689"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
51caa79e 690grow up into a beehive."
4363636d 691
51caa79e 692Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
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693
694"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
695Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
51caa79e 696wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
4363636d 697
51caa79e 698Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
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699
700"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
701how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
51caa79e 702and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
4363636d 703
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704=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
705
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706"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
707
708"Hunting," said Pooh.
709
710"Hunting what?"
711
712"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
713
714"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
715
716"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
717
718"What do you think you'll answer?"
719
720"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
721"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
722you see there?"
723
724"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
725excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
726
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727=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
728
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729Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
730ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
731bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
732waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
733droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
734hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
735longbow.
736
737In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
738often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
739placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
740likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
741may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
742Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
743Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
744farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
745grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
51caa79e 746T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
4363636d 747
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748=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
749
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750Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
751ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
752sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
753pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
754shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
755
756The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
757Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
51caa79e 758Caledonia and South America.
4363636d 759
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760=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
761
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762The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
763often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
764large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
765and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
766spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
767year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
768may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
769
770It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
771branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
772of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
773that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
774
775Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
776other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
777acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
778mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
779
780It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
51caa79e 781heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
4363636d 782
4363636d
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783=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
784
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785 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
786 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
787 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
788 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
789
790 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
791 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
792 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
793 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
794 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
795 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
796 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
797 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
798
4363636d
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799 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
800 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
801
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802
803=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
804
4363636d
DG
805 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
806 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
807 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
808 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
809
810 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
811 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
812 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
813 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
814 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
815 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!
816
4363636d
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817=head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
818
4363636d
DG
819 There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
820 When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
821 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
822 We must find him of the train can't start.'
823 All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
824 They are searching high and low,
825 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
826 Then the Night Mail just can't go'
827 At 11.42 then the signal's overdue
828 And the passengers are frantic to a man--
829 Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear:
830 He's been busy in the luggage van!
831 He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
832 And the the signal goes 'All Clear!'
833 And we're off at last of the northern part
834 Of the Northern Hemisphere!
835
4363636d
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836=head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode"
837
51caa79e
DG
838 We are the music makers,
839 And we are the dreamers of dreams,
840 Wandering by lonely sea-breakers,
841 And sitting by desolate streams; --
842 World-losers and world-forsakers,
843 On whom the pale moon gleams:
844 Yet we are the movers and shakers
845 Of the world for ever, it seems.
4363636d 846
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847=head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance"
848
4363636d
DG
849 There may be trouble ahead,
850 But while there's music and moonlight,
851 And love and romance,
852 Let's face the music and dance.
853
854 Before the fiddlers have fled,
855 Before they ask us to pay the bill,
856 And while we still have that chance,
857 Let's face the music and dance.
858
859 Soon, we'll be without the moon,
860 Humming a different tune, and then,
861
862 There may be teardrops to shed,
863 So while there's music and moonlight,
864 And love and romance,
865 Let's face the music and dance.
866
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867=head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"
868
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869 Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins!
870 Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
871 Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail!
872 Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
873 Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
874 Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough?
875
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876 Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
877 Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me,
878 For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
879 And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
880
881 O my brave soul!
882 O farther farther sail!
883 O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God?
884 O farther, farther, farther sail!
885
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886=head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle/John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty"
887
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888 It's fun to charter an accountant
889 And sail the wide accountan-cy,
890 To find, explore the funds offshore
891 And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
892
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893=head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies"
894
4363636d
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895 They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
896 In a Sieve they went to sea:
897 In spite of all their friends could say,
898 On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
899 In a Sieve they went to sea!
900 And when the Sieve turned round and round,
901 And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
902 They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big,
903 But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig!
904 In a Sieve we'll go to sea!"
905
906 Far and few, far and few,
907 Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
908 Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
909 And they went to sea in a Sieve.
910
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911=head2 v5.8.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic"
912
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913"What happens next?" asked Twoflower.
914
915Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently.
916
917"Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be
918flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple
919arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders
920and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then
921I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then
922I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl
923will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll
924liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure."
925Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the
926ceiling, whistling tunelessly.
927
928"All that?" said Twoflower.
929
930"Usually."
931
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932=head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"
933
4363636d
DG
934No matter what she did with her hair it took about
935three minutes for it to tangle itself up again,
936like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which,
937no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil
938overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
939
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940=head2 v5.6.2 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
941
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942When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this
943sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of
944a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see
945what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not
946long in this instance.
947
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948=head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
949
51caa79e 950"Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?"
4363636d 951
0e6b8110 952=head2 5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph
4363636d 953
3e340399
RS
954Z<>
955
0e6b8110 956=head2 5.005_04 - no epigraph
4363636d 957
3e340399 958Z<>
4363636d 959
3e340399 960=head2 5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"
4363636d
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961
962The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise
963the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they
964never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use
965them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council
966chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would
967run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster
968and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them,
969and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up
970and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake
971the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers
972fall.
973
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974=head2 5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
975
4363636d
DG
976Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
977plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
978going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
979she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked
980at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
981cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
982hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she
983passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
984disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
985of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
51caa79e 986she fell past it.
4363636d 987
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988=head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
989
0e6b8110 990This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs
4363636d
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991on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled
992L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406>
993by ysth.
994
995=cut
3e340399 996
4363636d 997# vim:tw=72: