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document historical release epigrams
[perl5.git] / Porting / epigrams.pod
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4363636d
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1=head1 NAME
2
3perlepigrams - list of Perl release epigrams
4
5=head1 DESCRIPTION
6
7Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigram>, a short excerpt
8from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or
9release manager. This file assembles the known list of epigrams for
10posterity.
11
12=head1 EPIGRAMS
13
14=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
15
16=over
17
18The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
19involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
20when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
21streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
22road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
23seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
24smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
25
26"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
27volcano were once more to set to work."
28
29=back
30
31=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
32
33=over
34
35"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
36many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
37Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs—
38what we might call ice-one—is only one of several types of ice.
39Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
40had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
41...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
42"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine—a crystal as
43hard as this desk—with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
44degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
45and-thirty degrees."
46
47=back
48
49=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
50
51=over
52
53San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
54the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
55hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
56of the Free World."
57
58Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
59level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
60harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
61exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
62
63=back
64
65=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
66
67=over
68
69Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
70the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
71just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
72a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
73it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
74of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
75common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
76bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
77
78 Around and around and around we spin,
79 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
80
81=back
82
83=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
84
85=over
86
87'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
88not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
89your cat grins like that?'
90
91'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
92
93She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
94jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
95and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
96
97'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
98that cats COULD grin.'
99
100'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
101
102=back
103
104=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
105
106=over
107
108'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
109have got altered.'
110
111'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
112there was silence for some minutes.
113
114=back
115
116=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
117
118=over
119
120'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
121always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
122rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
123yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
124can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
125kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
126
127=back
128
129=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
130
131=over
132
133At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
134called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
135dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
136in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
137sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
138
139'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
140is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
141the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
142to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
143accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
144Mercia and Northumbria—"'
145
146=back
147
148=head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no epigram
149
150=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
151
152=over
153
154So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
155hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
156making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
157picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
158close by her.
159
160There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
161VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
162dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
163occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
164it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
165OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
166Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
167never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
168take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
169after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
170rabbit-hole under the hedge.
171
172In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
173in the world she was to get out again.
174
175=back
176
177=head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigram
178
179=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
180
181=over
182
183 A little child, a limber elf,
184 Singing, dancing to itself,
185 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
186 That always finds, and never seeks,
187 Makes such a vision to the sight
188 As fills a father's eyes with light;
189 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
190 Upon his heart, that he at last
191 Must needs express his love's excess
192 With words of unmeant bitterness.
193 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
194 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
195 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
196 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
197 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
198 At each wild word to feel within
199 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
200 And what, if in a world of sin
201 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
202 Such giddiness of heart and brain
203 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
204 So talks as it's most used to do.
205
206=back
207
208=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
209
210=over
211
212And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
213into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
214mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
215question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
216hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
217louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
218who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
219worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
220done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
221
222=back
223
224=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
225
226=over
227
228"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
229course you'd druther work—wouldn't you? Course you would!"
230
231Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
232
233"Why ain't that work?"
234
235Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
236is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
237
238"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
239
240The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
241to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
242
243That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
244swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
245-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
246watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
247absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
248
249=back
250
251
252=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
253
254=over
255
256The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
257at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
258streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
259the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
260live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
261colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
262as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
263wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
264prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
265however much they're into colour.
266
267=back
268
269=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
270
271=over
272
273Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
274and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
275word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
276disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
277everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
278on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
279that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
280glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
281war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Mil
282presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
283for more hazardous assignment.
284
285=back
286
287=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
288
289=over
290
291Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
292streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
293trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
294to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
295about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
296of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
297facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
298explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
299Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
300people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
301work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
302their art.
303
304=back
305
306
307=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
308
309=over
310
311'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
312the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
313Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
314Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
315responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
316Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
317Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
318Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
319Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
320Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
321
322'Can they all type?' I joked.
323
324'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
325McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
326
327I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
328'We could have opened an agency.'
329
330Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
331Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
332amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
333all say that, do they?' I ventured.
334
335Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
336replied. 'Not quite all.'
337
338=back
339
340=head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigram
341
342=head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigram
343
344=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
345
346=over
347
348He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
349he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
350out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
351noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
352must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
353number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
354did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
355
356=back
357
358=head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigram
359
360=head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigram
361
362=head2 v5.9.5 - no epigram
363
364=head2 v5.9.4 - no epigram
365
366=head2 v5.9.3 - no epigram
367
368=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
369
370=over
371
372This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
373gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
374technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
375about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
376bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
377paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
378in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
379electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
380picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
381to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
382technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
383getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
384sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
385it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
386conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
387
388"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
389that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
390`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
391
392"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
393one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
394flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
395everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
396make you flip?
397
398=back
399
400=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
401
402=over
403
404Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
405
406=back
407
408=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
409
410=over
411
412What of October, that ambiguous month
413
414=back
415
416=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
417
418=over
419
420Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
421proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
422the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
423anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
424how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
425
426'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
427
428This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
429that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
430
431'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
432expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
433anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
434sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
435
436This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
437basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
438policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
439disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
440the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
441Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
442and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
443Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
444
445In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
446reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
447
448I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
449Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
450for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
451had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
452work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
453the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
454left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
455pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
456the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
457the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
458
459I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
460publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
461Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
462
463So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
464pushing to increase the membership?
465
466'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
467more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
468futile and impotent it becomes.'
469
470This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
471
472Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
473diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
474
475=back
476
477=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
478
479=over
480
481There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
482about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
483four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
484anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
485thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
486
487Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
488and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
489press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
490obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
491produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
492this draft...'
493
494I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
495hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
496incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
497
498'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
499redundancy payments as well.'
500
501'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
502it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
503
504'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
505
506=back
507
508=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
509
510=over
511
512A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
513was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
514and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
515jets and all.
516
517I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
518
519I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
520Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
521specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
522the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
523jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
524grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
525in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
526
527While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
528taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
529me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
530sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
531three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
532plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
533occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
534were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
535
536And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
537were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
538
539Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
540name like Charlie Umtali?
541
542I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
543know something about our official visitor.
544
545Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
546has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
547car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
548to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
549knew little of his background.
550
551I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
552Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
553first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
554
555Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
556
557'Why?' I enquired.
558
559'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
560to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
561never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
562
563Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
564that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
565
566In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
567where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
568revolving door and comes out in front.'
569
570'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
571
572'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
573
574'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
575
576=back
577
578=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
579
580=over
581
582 It's not that easy bein' green
583 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
584 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
585 Or something much more colorful like that
586
587 It's not easy bein' green
588 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
589 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
590 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
591 Or stars in the sky
592
593 But green's the color of Spring
594 And green can be cool and friendly-like
595 And green can be big like an ocean
596 Or important like a mountain
597 Or tall like a tree
598
599 When green is all there is to be
600 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
601 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
602 And I think it's what I want to be
603
604=back
605
606=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
607
608=over
609
610 Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
611
612 Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
613
614=back
615
616=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
617
618=over
619
620And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
621hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
622cat.
623
624Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
625the wolf? What then?"
626
627=back
628
629=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
630
631=over
632
633And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
634bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
635round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
636
637In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
638gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
639climbed up the high stone wall.
640
641One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
642stretched out over the wall.
643
644Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
645Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
646take care that he doesn't catch you!".
647
648The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
649snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
650
651How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
652the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
653
654=back
655
656=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
657
658=over
659
660"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
661you."
662
663"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
664
665"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
666and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
667to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
668
669"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
670
671"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
672planting it."
673
674"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
675grow up into a beehive."
676
677Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
678
679"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
680Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
681wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
682
683Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
684
685"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
686how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
687and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
688
689=back
690
691=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
692
693=over
694
695"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
696
697"Hunting," said Pooh.
698
699"Hunting what?"
700
701"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
702
703"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
704
705"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
706
707"What do you think you'll answer?"
708
709"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
710"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
711you see there?"
712
713"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
714excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
715
716=back
717
718=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
719
720=over
721
722Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
723ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
724bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
725waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
726droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
727hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
728longbow.
729
730In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
731often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
732placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
733likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
734may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
735Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
736Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
737farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
738grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
739T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
740
741=back
742
743=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
744
745=over
746
747Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
748ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
749sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
750pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
751shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
752
753The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
754Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
755Caledonia and South America.
756
757=back
758
759=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
760
761=over
762
763The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
764often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
765large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
766and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
767spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
768year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
769may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
770
771It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
772branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
773of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
774that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
775
776Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
777other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
778acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
779mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
780
781It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
782heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
783
784=back
785
786=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
787
788=over
789
790 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
791 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
792 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
793 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
794
795 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
796 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
797 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
798 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
799 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
800 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
801 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
802 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
803
804
805 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
806 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
807
808=back
809
810
811=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
812
813=over
814
815 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
816 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
817 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
818 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
819
820 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
821 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
822 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
823 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
824 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
825 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!
826
827=back
828
829=head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
830
831=over
832
833 There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
834 When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
835 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
836 We must find him of the train can't start.'
837 All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
838 They are searching high and low,
839 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
840 Then the Night Mail just can't go'
841 At 11.42 then the signal's overdue
842 And the passengers are frantic to a man--
843 Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear:
844 He's been busy in the luggage van!
845 He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
846 And the the signal goes 'All Clear!'
847 And we're off at last of the northern part
848 Of the Northern Hemisphere!
849
850=back
851
852=head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode"
853
854=over
855
856 We are the music makers,
857 And we are the dreamers of dreams,
858 Wandering by lonely sea-breakers,
859 And sitting by desolate streams; --
860 World-losers and world-forsakers,
861 On whom the pale moon gleams:
862 Yet we are the movers and shakers
863 Of the world for ever, it seems.
864
865=back
866
867=head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance"
868
869=over
870
871 There may be trouble ahead,
872 But while there's music and moonlight,
873 And love and romance,
874 Let's face the music and dance.
875
876 Before the fiddlers have fled,
877 Before they ask us to pay the bill,
878 And while we still have that chance,
879 Let's face the music and dance.
880
881 Soon, we'll be without the moon,
882 Humming a different tune, and then,
883
884 There may be teardrops to shed,
885 So while there's music and moonlight,
886 And love and romance,
887 Let's face the music and dance.
888
889=back
890
891=head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"
892
893=over
894
895 Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins!
896 Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
897 Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail!
898 Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
899 Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
900 Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough?
901
902
903 Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
904 Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me,
905 For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
906 And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
907
908 O my brave soul!
909 O farther farther sail!
910 O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God?
911 O farther, farther, farther sail!
912
913=back
914
915=head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle/John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty"
916
917=over
918
919 It's fun to charter an accountant
920 And sail the wide accountan-cy,
921 To find, explore the funds offshore
922 And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
923
924=back
925
926=head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies"
927
928=over
929
930 They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
931 In a Sieve they went to sea:
932 In spite of all their friends could say,
933 On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
934 In a Sieve they went to sea!
935 And when the Sieve turned round and round,
936 And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
937 They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big,
938 But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig!
939 In a Sieve we'll go to sea!"
940
941 Far and few, far and few,
942 Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
943 Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
944 And they went to sea in a Sieve.
945
946=back
947
948=head2 v5.8.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Color of Magic"
949
950=over
951
952"What happens next?" asked Twoflower.
953
954Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently.
955
956"Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be
957flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple
958arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders
959and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then
960I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then
961I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl
962will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll
963liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure."
964Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the
965ceiling, whistling tunelessly.
966
967"All that?" said Twoflower.
968
969"Usually."
970
971=back
972
973=head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"
974
975=over
976
977No matter what she did with her hair it took about
978three minutes for it to tangle itself up again,
979like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which,
980no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil
981overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
982
983=back
984
985=head2 v5.6.2 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
986
987=over
988
989When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this
990sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of
991a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see
992what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not
993long in this instance.
994
995=back
996
997=head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
998
999=over
1000
1001"Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?"
1002
1003=back
1004
1005=head2 5.005_05-RC1 - no epigram
1006
1007=head2 5.005_04 - no epigram
1008
1009=head2 5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"
1010
1011=over
1012
1013The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise
1014the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they
1015never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use
1016them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council
1017chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would
1018run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster
1019and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them,
1020and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up
1021and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake
1022the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers
1023fall.
1024
1025=back
1026
1027=head2 5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
1028
1029=over
1030
1031Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
1032plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
1033going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
1034she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked
1035at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
1036cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
1037hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she
1038passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
1039disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
1040of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
1041she fell past it.
1042
1043=back
1044
1045=head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
1046
1047This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigrams
1048on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled
1049L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406>
1050by ysth.
1051
1052=cut
1053# vim:tw=72: