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3=head1 NAME
4
0e6b8110 5perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs
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6
7=head1 DESCRIPTION
8
0e6b8110 9Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt
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10from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or release
11manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for posterity,
12and also links to the release announcements in mailing list archives.
4363636d 13
de6a5728 14I<Note>: these have also been referred to as I<epigrams>, but the
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15definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used.
16Consult your favorite dictionary for details.
17
18=head1 EPIGRAPHS
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20=head2 v5.25.2 - Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip "Waiting For The Beat To Kick In"
21
22L<Announced on 2016-06-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/06/msg237274.html>
23
24 Waiting for the beat to kick in
25 But it never does
26 Waiting for my feet to grow wings
27 That lift me above
28 All of these tiresome things
29 That we know and love
30 Waiting for the beat to kick in
31 But it never does
32
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33=head2 v5.25.1 - Eli Pariser, "The Filter Bubble"
34
5f602b3b 35L<Announced on 2016-05-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236566.html>
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36
37Imagine that you're a smart high school student on the low end of the social
38totem pole. You're alienated from adult authority, but unlike many teenagers,
39you're also alienated from the power structures of your peers -- an existence
40that can feel lonely and peripheral. Systems and equations are intuitive, but
41people aren't -- social signals are confusing and messy, difficult to interpret.
42
43Then you discover code. You may be powerless at the lunch table, but code
44gives you power over an infinitely malleable world and opens the door to a
45symbolic system that's perfectly clear and ordered. The jostling for position
46and status fades away. The nagging parental voices disappear. There's just a
47clean, white page for you to fill, an opportunity to build a better place, a
48home, from the ground up.
49
50No wonder you're a geek.
51
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52=head2 v5.25.0 - Robert Frost, "The Trial by Existence"
53
54L<Announced on 2016-05-09 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236244.html>
55
56 Even the bravest that are slain
57 Shall not dissemble their surprise
58 On waking to find valor reign,
59 Even as on earth, in paradise;
60 And where they sought without the sword
61 Wide fields of asphodel fore’er,
62 To find that the utmost reward
63 Of daring should be still to dare.
64
65=head2 v5.24.0 - Robert Frost, "The Black Cottage"
66
67L<Announced on 2016-05-09 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236242.html>
68
69 As I sit here, and oftentimes, I wish
70 I could be monarch of a desert land
71 I could devote and dedicate forever
72 To the truths we keep coming back and back to.
73 So desert it would have to be, so walled
74 By mountain ranges half in summer snow,
75 No one would covet it or think it worth
76 The pains of conquering to force change on.
77 Scattered oases where men dwelt, but mostly
78 Sand dunes held loosely in tamarisk
79 Blown over and over themselves in idleness.
80 Sand grains should sugar in the natal dew
81 The babe born to the desert, the sand storm
82 Retard mid-waste my cowering caravans—
83
84 “There are bees in this wall.” He struck the clapboards,
85 Fierce heads looked out; small bodies pivoted.
86 We rose to go. Sunset blazed on the windows.
87
88=head2 v5.24.0-RC5 - The Mountain Goats, "No Children"
89
90L<Announced on 2016-05-04 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236198.html>
91
92 And I hope when you think of me years down the line
93 You can't find one good thing to say
94 And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
95 You'd stay the hell out of my way
96
97 I am drowning, there is no sign of land
98 You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand
99
100=head2 v5.24.0-RC4 - The Joker in "The Killing Joke"
101
102L<Announced on 2016-05-02 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/05/msg236145.html>
103
104"See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum…"
105
106=head2 v5.24.0-RC3 - Jesse Vincent
107
108L<Announced on 2016-04-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg236066.html>
109
110The Great Pumpkin is a Santa-Claus like figure. He does bring toys like
111Santa. But unlike Santa, who gives away toys because it's his job, he
112gives away toys because it's the right thing to do.
113
114=head2 v5.24.0-RC2 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
115
116L<Announced on 2016-04-23 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg235999.html>
117
118“How do you feel, Yossarian?”
119
120“Fine. No, I’m very frightened.”
121
122“That’s good,” said Major Danby. “It proves you’re still alive. It won’t
123be fun.”
124
125Yossarian started out. “Yes it will.”
126
127“I mean it, Yossarian. You’ll have to keep on your toes every minute of
128every day. They’ll bend heaven and earth to catch you.”
129
130“I’ll keep on my toes every minute.”
131
132“You’ll have to jump.”
133
134“I’ll jump.”
135
136“Jump!” Major Danby cried.
137
138Yossarian jumped.
139
140Nately’s [girl] was hiding just outside the door. The knife came down,
141missing him by inches, and he took off.
142
143=head2 v5.24.0-RC1 - Robert Frost, "The Census-Taker"
144
145L<Announced on 2016-04-14 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg235807.html>
146
147 Nothing was left to do that I could see
148 Unless to find that there was no one there
149 And declare to the cliffs too far for echo,
150 "The place is desert, and let whoso lurks
151 In silence, if in this he is aggrieved,
152 Break silence now or be forever silent.
153 Let him say why it should not be declared so."
154 The melancholy of having to count souls
155 Where they grow fewer and fewer every year
156 Is extreme where they shrink to none at all.
157 It must be I want life to go on living.
158
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159=head2 v5.23.9 - Tom Kitchin, "from nature to plate"
160
161L<Announced on 2016-03-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/03/msg235251.html>
162
163Spring
164
165Spring is the proper beginning of my kitchen and a season that I
166look forward to with great anticipation. By the time spring arrives
167I am desperate to welcome all the spring produce into my kitchen
168and I long to work with fresh green vegetables again. As much as I
169love root vegetables, such as celeriac and parsnips, and the heaver
170meat and game dishes, I'm ready to leave those behind with winter
171and begin a new adventure.
172
173Somehow spring always gives me a little bit of bounce in my feet
174-- I feel like I want to kick off my shoes and dance around in my
175kitchen. Not that I do, of course, but I feel lighter somehow. My
176adrenalin kicks in with spring and so does the level of excitement,
177as I think about all the produce that is about to come in.
178
179The moment spring arrives I'm eager to cook peas, broad beans, green
180asparagus and other fresh vegetables! I want to create lighter,
181brighter dishes and I can't wait to get my hands on the first greens
182and the first morels, not to mention the first wild Scottish salmon.
183Thanks to my network of trusted suppliers, I always get to first
184produce of the season delivered to my restaurant as soon as it is
185possible. I want my customers to experience and understand the
186beauty of locally grown produce and to try things the minute they
187are available so they can taste how incredibly fresh the ingredients
188are. I also want them to understand the relationship between
189seasonality and flavours. One of the most important things to
190remember is to allow the seasons to inspire your dishes and help
191you make natural matches. Wild spring herbs, such as sorrel, sweet
192cicely and wild garlic, as well as spring salad leaves and green
193lettuce served with wild salmon, wild sea trout, lamb or rabbit are
194marriages made in heaven.
195
196
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197=head2 v5.23.8 - Patrick Rothfuss, "The Wise Man's Fear (The Kingkiller's Chronicle: Day Two)"
198
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199L<Announced on 2016-02-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/02/msg234535.html>
200
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201Denna, on the other hand, had never been trained. She knew nothing
202of shortcuts. You'd think she'd be forced to wander the city, lost and
203helpless, trapped in a twisting maze of mortared stone.
204
205But instead, she simply walked throught the walls. She didn't know
206any better. Nobody had ever told her she couldn't. Because of this,
207she moved through the city like some faerie creature. She walked roads
208no one else could see, and it made her music wild and strange and
209free.
210
da44b70c 211=head2 v5.23.7 - William Gibson, "Neuromancer"
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f43a4a46 213L<Announced on 2016-01-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/01/msg233856.html>
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214
215A year here and he still dreamed of cyberspace, hope fading
216nightly. All the speed he took, all the turns he'd taken and
217the corners he cut in Night City, and he'd still see the matrix
218in his dreams, bright lattices of logic unfolding across that
219colourless void...The Sprawl was a long, strange way home now
220over the Pacific, and he was no Console Man, no cyberspace
221cowboy. Just another hustler, trying to make it through. But
222the dreams came on in the Japanese night like livewire voodoo,
223and he'd cry for it, cry in his sleep, and wake alone in the
224dark, curled in his capsule in some coffin hotel, hands clawed
225into the bedslab, temper foam bunched between his fingers,
226trying to reach the console that wasn't there.
227
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228=head2 v5.23.6 - 5.23 Episode VII
229
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230L<Announced on 2015-12-21 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233475.html>
231
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232 A long time ago in microseconds, in a galaxy not very far away...
233
234 5.23 Episode VII
235 THE FUZZ AWAKENS
236
237 It is a period of
238 unrest as separatists
239 announce their intentions
240 to fork PERL and return the
241 galaxy to speed and stability.
242
243 Chancellor Rik Hoolian struggles
244 to hold together the remains of the
245 once mighty Republic against a tide of
246 incivility and the depredations of a new
247 foe, the FUZZ RAIDERS.
248
249 Meanwhile, after 15 years of preparation and
250 high expectations, Supreme Leader Toady prepares
251 to unleash a devastating new weapon, PERL SIXDOTOH,
252 that could splinter the Republic forever and usher in
253 a new Empire of gradual typing....
254
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255=head2 v5.23.5 - utastro!nather (Ed Nather), "The Story of Mel", in net.jokes, May 21, 1983.
256
257L<Announced on 2015-11-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/11/msg232758.html>
258
259After Mel had left the company for greener pa$ture$, the Big Boss asked
260me to look at the code and see if I could find the test and reverse it.
261Somewhat reluctantly, I agreed to look. Tracking Mel's code was a real
262adventure.
263
264I have often felt that programming is an art form, whose real value can
265only be appreciated by another versed in the same arcane art; there are
266lovely gems and brilliant coups hidden from human view and admiration,
267sometimes forever, by the very nature of the process. You can learn a
268lot about an individual just by reading through his code, even in
269hexadecimal. Mel was, I think, an unsung genius.
270
271Perhaps my greatest shock came when I found an innocent loop that had
272no test in it. No test. None. Common sense said it had to be a closed
273loop, where the program would circle, forever, endlessly. Program
274control passed right through it, however, and safely out the other side.
275It took me two weeks to figure it out.
276
277The RPC-4000 computer had a really modern facility called an index
278register. It allowed the programmer to write a program loop that used
279an indexed instruction inside; each time through, the number in the
280index register was added to the address of that instruction, so it
281would refer to the next datum in a series. He had only to increment
282the index register each time through. Mel never used it.
283
284Instead, he would pull the instruction into a machine register, add one
285to its address, and store it back. He would then execute the modified
286instruction right from the register. The loop was written so this
287additional execution time was taken into account -- just as this
288instruction finished, the next one was right under the drum's read head,
289ready to go. But the loop had no test in it.
290
291The vital clue came when I noticed the index register bit, the bit that
292lay between the address and the operation code in the instruction word,
293was turned on -- yet Mel never used the index register, leaving it zero
294all the time. When the light went on it nearly blinded me.
295
296He had located the data he was working on near the top of memory -- the
297largest locations the instructions could address -- so, after the last
298datum was handled, incrementing the instruction address would make it
299overflow. The carry would add one to the operation code, changing it to
300the next one in the instruction set: a jump instruction. Sure enough,
301the next program instruction was in address location zero, and the
302program went happily on its way.
303
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304=head2 v5.23.4 - Denis Diderot, trans. David Coward, "Jacques the Fatalist"
305
306L<Announced on 2015-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/10/msg232040.html>
307
308Well, everybody's got a dog. The prime minister is the king's dog. The
309first secretary is the prime minister's dog. A wife is a husband's dog,
310or a husband is a wife's dog. Favourite is Madame So-and-so's dog and
311Thibaut is the man on the corner's dog. When my Master tells me to talk
312when I'd prefer not to, which to be honest doesn't happen very often,
313when he tells me to shut up when I feel like talking, which I find very
314difficult, when he asks me to tell the story of my love-life and then
315keeps interrupting, what am I if not his dog? Weak men are the dogs of
316strong men.
317
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318=head2 v5.23.3 - Oliver Wendell Holmes, "The Deacon’s Masterpiece or The Wonderful 'One-Hoss Shay': A Logical Story"
319
320L<Announced on 2015-09-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/09/msg231173.html>
321
322 Little of of all we value here
323 Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year
324 Without both feeling and looking queer.
325 In fact, there’s nothing that keeps its youth,
326 So far as I know, but a tree and truth.
327 (This is a moral that runs at large;
328 Take it. — You’re welcome. — No extra charge.)
329
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330=head2 v5.23.2 - Blind Guardian, "Skalds and Shadows"
331
4442630f 332L<Announced on 2015-08-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230298.html>
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333
334 Would you believe in a night like this
335 A night like this, when visions come true
336 Would you believe in a tale like this
337 A lay of bliss, praise in the old lore
338 Come to the blazing fire and
339
340 See me in the shadows
341 See me in the shadows
342 Songs I will sing
343 Of runes and rings
344 Just hand me my harp
345 This night turns into myth
346 Nothing seems real
347 You soon will feel
348 The world we live in is another skald's
349 Dream in the shadows
350 Dream in the shadows
351
352 Do you believe there is sense in it
353 Is it truth or myth?
354 They´re one in my rhymes
355 Nobody knows the meaning behind
356 The weaver's line
357 Well nobody else but the Norns can
358 See through the blazing fires of time and
359 All things will proceed as the
360 Child of the hallowed
361 Will speak to you now
362
363 See me in the shadows
364 See me in the shadows
365 Songs I will sing of tribes and kings
366 The carrion bird and the hall of the slain
367 Nothing seems real
368 You soon will feel
369 The world we live in is another skald´s
370 Dream in the shadows
371 Dream in the shadows
372
373 Do not fear for my reason
374 There's nothing to hide
375 How bitter your treason
376 How bitter the lie
377 Remember the runes and remember the light
378 All I ever want is to be at your side
379 We'll gladden the raven now I will
380 Run through the blazing fires
381 That's my choice
382 Cause things shall proceed as foreseen
383
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384=head2 v5.23.1 - Elizabeth Haydon, "The Assassin King"
385
386L<Announced on 2015-07-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/07/msg229413.html>
387
388 I was born beneath this willow,
389 Where my sire the earth did farm
390 Had the green grass as my pillow
391 The east wind as a blanket warm.
392
393 But away! away! called the wind from the west
394 And in answer I did run
395 Seeking glory and adventure
396 Promised by the rising sun.
397
398 I found love beneath this willow,
399 As true a love as life could hold,
400 Pledged my heart and swore my fealty
401 Sealed with a kiss and a band of gold.
402
403 But to arms! to arms! called the wind from the west
404 In faithful answer I did run
405 Marching forth for king and country
406 In battles 'neath the midday sun.
407
408 Oft I dreamt of that fair willow
409 As the seven seas I plied
410 And the girl who I left waiting
411 Longing to be at her side.
412
413 But about! about! called the wind from the west
414 As once again my ship did run
415 Down the coast, about the wide world
416 Flying sails in the setting sun.
417
418 Now I lie beneath the willow
419 Now at last no more to roam,
420 My bride and earth so tightly hold me
421 In their arms I'm finally home.
422
423 While away! away! calls the wind from the west
424 Beyond the grave my spirit, free
425 Will chase the sun into the morning
426 Beyond the sky, beyond the sea.
427
da44b70c 428=head2 v5.23.0 - Bob Dylan, "Maggie's Farm"
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429
430L<Announced on 2015-06-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228807.html>
431
432 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
433 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
434 Well, I try my best
435 To be just like I am
436 But everybody wants you
437 To be just like them
438 They sing while you slave and I just get bored
439 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
440
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441=head2 v5.22.2 - Gaston Leroux, trans. Mireille Ribière, "The Phantom of the Opera"
442
443L<Announced on 2016-04-29 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg236120.html>
444
445A silence; and then: 'If, in just two minutes' time by my watch--and a
446splendid watch it is--you have not turned the scorpion, mademoiselle, I
447shall turn the grasshopper... and the grasshopper, remember, _leaps
448straight up into the air!_'
449The silence that ensued was terrifying, worse than any we had
450experienced before. I knew that when Erik spoke with that quiet,
451gentle, slightly weary voice, it meant that he had reached the end of
452his tether: that he was capable of the most abominable crimes or the
453most selfless devotion; that the slightest irritation might unleash a
454storm.
455Realizing that our fate was out of our hands, the Viscount fell to his
456knees and prayed. As for me, I pressed both hands to my chest, for my
457heart was pounding so fiercely that I thought it would burst. We were
458intensely aware of the excruciating dilemma Christine Daaé faced in
459those final seconds. We understood why she hesitated to turn the
460scorpion. What if the scorpion, rather than the grasshopper, were to
461set off the explosion? What if Erik was simply intent on destroying
462everything, regardless?
463At last he spoke: 'The two minutes are up,' he said in a soft, angelic
464voice. 'Goodbye, mademoiselle. Off you go, little grasshopper!'
465
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466=head2 v5.22.2-RC1 - Gaston Leroux, trans. Mireille Ribière, "The Phantom of the Opera"
467
468L<Announced on 2016-04-10 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2016/04/msg235732.html>
469
470This annual ball was quite a magnificent affair. It was given some time
471before Shrovetide to celebrate the birthday of a famous illustrator
472whose pencil had immortalized, in the style of Gavarni, the extravagant
473carnival parade down La Courtille. As such, the ball was an altogether
474merrier, noisier and more Bohemian occasion than was usual for a masked
475ball. Many artists had arranged to meet there; they arrived with an
476entourage of models and pupils, who, by midnight, had become quite
477boisterous.
478Raoul climbed the grand staircase at five minutes to midnight. He did
479not linger to admire the many-coloured costumes on display all the way
480up the marble steps of one of the most luxurious settings in the world;
481nor did he allow himself to be drawn into the facetious conversation of
482masked guests. He simply ignored all the jesting remarks, and shook off
483the attentions of several all too merry couples.
484Crossing the big crush-room and escaping from the dancers' farandole
485that had encircled him awhile, he at last entered the salon mentioned by
486Christine in her letter. The small room was crammed with people either
487on their way to supper at the restaurant in the Rotunda or back from
488raising a glass of champagne.
489In the midst of the gay and lively hubbub, Raoul thought that, for their
490mysterious assignation, Christine must have preferred this crowd to some
491lonely corner.
492He leaned against a door-jamb and waited. He did not have to wait long;
493a black domino passed him and deftly touched his hand. He understood
494that it was Christine and followed her.
495'Is that you, Christine?' he murmured, barely moving his slips.
496The black domino promptly looked back and raised her finger to her lips,
497no doubt to caution him against uttering her name again. Raoul followed
498on in silence.
499
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500=head2 v5.22.1 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Courage" (No. 22 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
501
502L<Announced on 2015-12-13 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233318.html>
503
504 If the snow flies in my face,
505 Let me shake it off me!
506 If my heart within me speaks,
507 I'll sing bright and gaily!
508
509 Will not listen what it says,
510 Have no ears for moaning.
511 Do not feel what it complains,--
512 Only fools like groaning!
513
514 Jolly brave into the world,
515 'Gainst all wind and weather,--
516 If there is no God on earth,
517 Let 's be gods down nether!
518
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519=head2 v5.22.1-RC4 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "The Signpost" (No. 20 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
520
521L<Announced on 2015-12-08 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233215.html>
522
523 Why do I shun all those highways
524 Which the other wanderer seeks?
525 Why do I find bridged by-ways
526 Through snow-covered deep creeks?
527
528 For I have no crime committed,
529 Why I should now run from men,--
530 What demented heart's desire
531 Drives me to a desert glen?
532
533 Signposts on all highways stationed
534 Point their signs toward the towns,
535 Whilst I wonder 'yond moderation,
536 Without rest, yet seeking rest!
537
538 One such signpost I see planted
539 Of my question unconcerned,
540 One road must my choice be granted,
541 Whence no man has yet returned!
542
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543=head2 v5.22.1-RC3 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Stormy Morning" (No. 18 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
544
545L<Announced on 2015-12-02 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/12/msg233032.html>
546
547 How the storm tore rents
548 In heavens gray attired!
549 The rags of cloud are flying
550 Around, of combat tired.
551
552 And flames of fire lambent,
553 Fly between them and part,
554 That 's what I call a morning,
555 A morning after my heart!
556
557 My heart sees in the heavens
558 Its own picture unspoilt--
559 It's nothing but the Winter,
560 The Winter, cold and wild.
561
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562=head2 v5.22.1-RC2 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "The Old Head" (No. 14 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
563
564L<Announced on 2015-11-15 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/11/msg232632.html>
565
566 The hoary frost has a white sheen
567 Strewn all over my hair,
568 So I thought I was an old man
569 And thought life dealt me fair.
570
571 Yet soon was thawed my old white mane,
572 And I have my black hair again.
573 How I abhor my young fair years,
574 How long to wait for death and biers?
575
576 From setting sun to morning's hue
577 Many a head turns white.
578 Who'll credit it? My hair did not
579 In all this lifelong plight!
580
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581=head2 v5.22.1-RC1 - Wilhelm Müller, trans. Anon., "Will-o'-the Wisp" (No. 9 in Schubert's song-cycle, "Winterreise")
582
583L<Announced on 2015-10-31 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/10/msg232321.html>
584
585 In the deepest rocky crevice
586 A will-o'-the wisp lured me;
587 How I could find my way from here,
588 For me it's easy memory!
589
590 For I am used to straying ways,
591 Every path to th'end a way,
592 All our joys and all our suffering,--
593 To a will-o'-the wisp it 's all play!
594
595 Through the dried-up bed of torrents
596 I quite calmly downward stroll;
597 Every stream its sea will enter,
598 Every suffering finds its goal!
599
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600=head2 v5.22.0 - Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
601
602L<Announced on 2015-06-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228300.html>
603
604“You are the advocate of the dead.”
605
606The old man nodded. “I am. People talk about being fair to this one and
607that one, but nobody I ever heard talks about doing right by them. We
608take everything they had, which is all right. And spit, most often, on
609their opinions, which I suppose is all right too. But we ought to
610remember now and then how much of what we have we got from them. I
611figure while I’m still here I ought to put a word in for them.”
612
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613=head2 v5.22.0-RC2 - T.S. Eliot, unpublished work
614
615L<Announced on 2015-05-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228142.html>
616
617 And when thyself with silver foot shall pass
618 Among the theories scattered on the grass
619 Take up my good intentions with the rest
620
621=head2 v5.22.0-RC1 - Gene Wolfe, Citadel of the Autarch
622
623L<Announced on 2015-05-19 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228059.html>
624
625There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by
626its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity.
627
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628=head2 v5.21.11 - Algernon Charles Swinburne, "Dolores (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs)"
629
630L<Announced on 2015-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/04/msg227472.html>
631
632 They shall pass and their places be taken,
633 The gods and the priests that are pure.
634 They shall pass, and shalt thou not be shaken?
635 They shall perish, and shalt thou endure?
636 Death laughs, breathing close and relentless
637 In the nostrils and eyelids of lust,
638 With a pinch in his fingers of scentless
639 And delicate dust.
640
641 But the worm shall revive thee with kisses;
642 Thou shalt change and transmute as a god,
643 As the rod to a serpent that hisses,
644 As the serpent again to a rod.
645 Thy life shall not cease though thou doff it;
646 Thou shalt live until evil be slain,
647 And good shall die first, said thy prophet,
648 Our Lady of Pain.
649
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SH
650=head2 v5.21.10 - Aldous Huxley, "The Devils of Loudun"
651
652L<Announced on 2015-03-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/03/msg226847.html>
653
654The fire burned on, the good fathers continued to sprinkle and intone.
655Suddenly a flock of pigeons came swooping down from the church and
656started to wheel around the roaring column of flame and smoke. The
657crowd shouted, the archers waved their halberds at the birds, Lactance
658and Tranquille splashed them on the wing with holy water. In vain. The
659pigeons were not to be driven away. Round and round they flew, diving
660through the smoke, singeing their feathers in the flames. Both parties
661claimed a miracle. For the parson's enemies the birds, quite obviously,
662were a troop of devils, come to fetch away his soul. For his friends,
663they were emblems of the Holy Ghost and living proof of his innocence.
664It never seems to have occurred to anyone that they were just pigeons,
665obeying the laws of their own, their blessedly other-than-human nature.
666
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S
667=head2 v5.21.9 - Emily Dickinson, "There is Another Sky"
668
c8d2be4d 669L<Announced on 2015-02-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg226002.html>
94fa4f56 670
e5f16b09
SH
671 There is another sky,
672 Ever serene and fair,
673 And there is another sunshine,
674 Though it be darkness there;
675 Never mind faded forests, Austin,
676 Never mind silent fields -
677 Here is a little forest,
678 Whose leaf is ever green;
679 Here is a brighter garden,
680 Where not a frost has been;
681 In its unfading flowers
682 I hear the bright bee hum:
683 Prithee, my brother,
684 Into my garden come!
94fa4f56 685
8917c25b
MH
686=head2 v5.21.8 - Bill Watterson, "Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection"
687
06dcbead 688L<Announced on 2015-01-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/01/msg224869.html>
8917c25b
MH
689
690Calvin: OK Hobbes, press the button and duplicate me.
691Hobbes: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
692Calvin: Brother! You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions! This is a *BRILLIANT* idea! Hit the button, will ya?
693Hobbes: I'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress... Here you go.
694[Box]: *BOINK*
695Hobbes: Scientific progress goes "BOINK"?
696Calvin?: It worked! It worked! I'm a genius!
697Cavlin??: No you're not, you liar! *I* invented this!
698
2ee7da68 699=head2 v5.21.7 - Robert Heinlein, "The Number of the Beast"
d171d861
MM
700
701L<Announced on 2014-12-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/12/msg223774.html>
702
4ed12d4a
SH
703"Zebadiah, Hilda and I salvaged and put everything into the basket.
704Hilda started to put it into our wardrobe-and it was heavy. So
705we looked. Packed as tight as when we left Oz. Six bananas-and
706everything else. Cross my heart. No, go look."
707"Hmmm- Jake, can you write equations for a picnic basket that
708refills itself? Will it go on doing so?"
709"Zeb, equations can be written to describe anything. The description
710would be simpler for a basket that replenishes itself indefinitely
711than for one that does it once and stops-I would have to describe
712the discontinuity."
d171d861 713
2ee7da68 714=head2 v5.21.6 - Jeff Noon, "Vurt"
11741df4
CBW
715
716L<Announced on 2014-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/11/msg222448.html>
717
4ed12d4a
SH
718GAME CAT
719
720EXCHANGE MECHANISMS. Sometimes we lose precious
721things. Friends and colleagues, fellow travellers in the
722Vurt, sometimes we lose them; even lovers we sometimes
723lose. And get bad things in exchange: aliens, objects,
724snakes, and sometimes even death. Things we don't want.
725This is part of the deal, part of the game deal;
726all things, in all worlds, must be kept in balance.
727Kittlings often ask, who decides on the swappings? Now then,
728some say it's all accidental; that some poor Vurt thing
729finds himself too close to a door, at too critical a time,
730just when something real is being lost. Whoosh! Swap time!
731Others say that some kind of overseer is working the
732MECHANISMS OF EXCHANGE, deciding the fate of innocents.
733The Cat can only tease at this, because of the big secrets
734involved, and because of the levels between you, the reader,
735and me, the Game Cat. Hey, listen; I've struggled to get
736where I am today; why should I give you the easy route?
737Get working, kittlings! Reach up higher. Work the Vurt.
11741df4 738
2ee7da68 739=head2 v5.21.5 - Friso Wiegersma (text), Jean Ferrat (music), Wim Sonneveld (performer), "Het Dorp"
b22c1b06
A
740
741L<Announced on 2014-10-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg221399.html>
742
743 Het Dorp
744
745 Thuis heb ik nog een ansichtkaart
746 waarop een kerk, een kar met paard,
747 een slagerij J. van der Ven.
748 Een kroeg, een juffrouw op de fiets
749 het zegt u hoogstwaarschijnlijk niets,
750 maar 't is waar ik geboren ben.
751 Dit dorp, ik weet nog hoe het was,
752 de boerenkind'ren in de klas,
753 een kar die ratelt op de keien,
754 het raadhuis met een pomp ervoor,
755 een zandweg tussen koren door,
11741df4 756 het vee, de boerderijen.
b22c1b06
A
757
758 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
759 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
760 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 761 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
b22c1b06
A
762
763 Wat leefden ze eenvoudig toen
764 in simp'le huizen tussen groen
765 met boerenbloemen en een heg.
766 Maar blijkbaar leefden ze verkeerd,
767 het dorp is gemoderniseerd
768 en nu zijn ze op de goeie weg.
769 Want ziet, hoe rijk het leven is,
770 ze zien de televisiequiz
771 en wonen in betonnen dozen,
772 met flink veel glas, dan kun je zien
773 hoe of het bankstel staat bij Mien
774 en d'r dressoir met plastic rozen.
775
776 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
777 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
778 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 779 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
b22c1b06
A
780
781 De dorpsjeugd klit wat bij elkaar
782 in minirok en beatle-haar
783 en joelt wat mee met beat-muziek.
784 Ik weet wel, het is hun goeie recht,
785 de nieuwe tijd, net wat u zegt,
786 maar het maakt me wat melancholiek.
787 Ik heb hun vaders nog gekend
788 ze kochten zoethout voor een cent
789 ik zag hun moeders touwtjespringen.
790 Dat dorp van toen, het is voorbij,
791 dit is al wat er bleef voor mij:
792 een ansicht en herinneringen.
793
794 Toen ik langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
795 de hoge bomen nog zag staan.
796 Ik was een kind, hoe kon ik weten
797 dat dat voorgoed voorbij zou gaan.
798
2ee7da68 799=head2 v5.21.4 - Edgar Allan Poe, "The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket"
28c2c58f
SH
800
801L<Announced on 2014-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220267.html>
802
4ed12d4a
SH
803To-day, being in latitude 83° 20', longitude 43° 5' W. (the sea being
804of an extraordinarily dark colour), we again saw land from the
805masthead, and, upon a closer scrutiny, found it to be one of a group
806of very large islands. The shore was precipitous, and the interior
807seemed to be well wooded, a circumstance which occasioned us great
808joy. In about four hours from our first discovering the land we came
809to anchor in ten fathoms, sandy bottom, a league from the coast, as a
810high surf, with strong ripples here and there, rendered a nearer
811approach of doubtful expediency. The two largest boats were now
812ordered out, and a party, well armed (among whome were Peters and
813myself), proceeded to look for an opening in the reef which appeared
814to encircle the island. After searching about for some time, we
815discovered an inlet, which we were entering, when we saw four large
816canoes put off from the shore, filled with men who seemed to be well
817armed. We waited for them to come up, and, as they moved with great
818rapidity, they were soon within hail. Captain Guy now held up a white
819handkerchief on the blade of an oar, when the strangers made a full
820stop, and commenced a loud jabbering all at once, intermingled with
821occasional shouts, in which we could distinguish the words Anamoo-moo!
822and Lama-Lama! They continued this for at least half an hour, during
823which we had a good opportunity of observing their appearance.
28c2c58f 824
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SH
825=head2 v5.21.3 - Robert Service, "The Men that Don't Fit In"
826
827L<Announced on 2014-08-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218826.html>
828
829 If they just went straight they might go far,
830 They are strong and brave and true;
831 But they're always tired of the things that are,
832 And they want the strange and new.
833 They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
834 What a deep mark I would make!"
835 So they chop and change, and each fresh move
836 Is only a fresh mistake.
837
838=head2 v5.21.2 - Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Charlie Duke, Final minutes of communication of the first manned moon landing, July 20, 1969
839
840L<Announced on 2014-07-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/07/msg217937.html>
841
842 Armstrong: Okay. Here's a...Looks like a good area here.
843 Aldrin: I got the shadow out there.
844 Aldrin: 250, down at 2 1/2, 19 forward.
845 Aldrin: Altitude, velocity lights.
846 Aldrin: 3 1/2 down, 220 feet, 13 forward.
847 Aldrin: 11 forward. Coming down nicely.
848 Armstrong: Gonna be right over that crater.
849 Aldrin: 200 feet, 4 1/2 down.
850 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down.
851 Armstrong: I got a good spot [garbled].
852 Aldrin: 160 feet, 6 1/2 down.
853 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down, 9 forward. You're looking good.
854 Aldrin: 120 feet.
855 Aldrin: 100 feet, 3 1/2 down, 9 forward. Five percent. Quantity light.
856 Aldrin: Okay. 75 feet. And it's looking good. Down a half, 6 forward.
857 Duke: 60 seconds.
858 Aldrin: Light's on.
859 Aldrin: 60 feet, down 2 1/2. 2 forward. 2 forward. That's good.
860 Aldrin: 40 feet, down 2 1/2. Picking up some dust.
861 Aldrin: 30 feet, 2 1/2 down. [Garbled] shadow.
862 Aldrin: 4 forward. 4 forward. Drifting to the right a little. 20 feet,
863 down a half.
864 Duke: 30 seconds.
865 Aldrin: Drifting forward just a little bit; that's good.
866 Aldrin: Contact Light.
867 Armstrong: Shutdown.
868 Aldrin: Okay. Engine Stop.
869 Aldrin: ACA out of Detent.
870 Armstrong: Out of Detent. Auto.
871 Aldrin: Mode Control, both Auto. Descent Engine Command Override, Off.
872 Engine Arm, Off. 413 is in.
873 Duke: We copy you down, Eagle.
874 Armstrong: Engine arm is off.
875 Armstrong: Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.
876 Duke: Roger, Twan...[correcting himself] Tranquility. We copy you on
877 the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue.
878 We're breathing again. Thanks a lot.
879 Aldrin: Thank you.
880
881=head2 v5.21.1 - Robert Jordan, "The Crossroads of Twilights", Book 10 of "The Wheel of Time"
882
883L<Announced on 2014-06-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/06/msg217030.html>
884
885 We rode on the winds of the rising storm,
886 We ran to the sounds of the thunder.
887 We danced among the lightning bolts,
888 and tore the world asunder.
889
890 -- Anonymous fragment of a poem believed
891 written near the end of the previous Age,
892 known by some as the Third Age.
893 Sometimes attributed to the Dragon
894 Reborn.
895
896=head2 v5.21.0 - Friedrich von Schiller, "The Song of the Bell"
897
898L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215826.html>
899
900 Walled in fast within the earth
901 Stands the form burnt out of clay.
902 This must be the bell’s great birth!
903 Fellows, lend a hand to-day.
904 Sweat must trickle now
905 From the burning brow,
906 Till the work its master honour.
907 Blessing comes from Heaven’s Donor.
908
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SH
909=head2 v5.20.3 - Elias Lönnrot, trans. Keith Bosley, "The Kalevala", Canto 42: Stealing the Sampo
910
911L<Announced on 2015-09-12 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/09/msg230945.html>
912
913 Steady old Väinämöinen
914 uttered a word and spoke thus:
915 'No lilting on the waters
916 and no singing on the waves!
917 Song keeps you lazy
918 tales delay rowing.
919 Precious day would pass and night
920 would overtake us midway
921 on these wide waters
922 upon these vast waves.'
923
924 The wanton Lemminkäinen
925 uttered a word and spoke thus:
926 'The time will pass anyway
927 the fair day will flee
928 and the night will come panting
929 and the twilight will steal in
930 if you don't sing while you live
931 nor hum in this world.'
932
9d05662d
SH
933=head2 v5.20.3-RC2 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
934
935L<Announced on 2015-08-29 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230544.html>
936
937'I fled from Basra, sad and tearful, with no idea where I was going,
938and I was reciting these lines:
939
940 The pain of parting makes me melt away,
941 As lovers do when those they love are harsh.
942 I wonder at the patience that I showed
943 When I had lost my love, for that was wonderful.
944 Beloved, do you know that since you left,
945 I have remained confused in misery.
946
947I then heard a voice that said: "Damn you, have you no fear of
948Almighty God that you hand over a girl to an unbelieving 'ifrit?" I
949walked for a time amongst the palm-trees until I caught sight of a
950person, whom I approached. When I asked him who he was he said: "I
951am one of the jinn who were converted to Islam at the hands of 'Ali
952ibn Abi Talib, may God ennoble him." "How can I get to my wife?" I
953asked him, and he said: "Wretched fellow, you had a bird which you
954allowed to fly away and now you want to fly after it." But he
955added: "Follow this road with God's blessing all night until dawn
956and then by the shore you will see a huge cave in which there is an
957idol made of white stone. You must drink of the water that there is
958coming out of the cave and smear your face with its mud. Stay there
959and a barge will pass you as you stand opposite the statue. Various
960different creatures will emerge, heads without bodies and bodies
961without heads, and they will prostrate themselves in adoration to
962the idol rather than to Almighty God. When you see that, embark on
963the barge and cross to the other bank and walk along it until
964sunset. On a high point you will see a castle built of bricks of
965gold and silver. That is where your 'ifrit will be. I have now
966told you about this, so goodbye."
967
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968=head2 v5.20.3-RC1 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
969
970L<Announced on 2015-08-22 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230359.html>
971
972'On the night of the wedding the ape came to sit in front of me and
973asked me what I intended to do. "Whatever you tell me," I replied,
974and he said: "Take care not to covet the girl, or I shall come back
975and burn you up and leave you as a lesson for those who can learn."
976I agreed to this and when evening came I found the world full of
977candles and torches burning in holders of gold and silver. There
978were servants and serving girls, and everyone who saw me
979congratulated me on my good fortune, as there was no girl on the
980face of the earth more beautiful than my bride.
981[...]
982'Next morning I went out to the market, and people went in and asked
983her how the night had been. "He never looked up at me," she told
984them. Then, when it was afternoon, I went to my house, where the
985ape was sitting by the door. "Tell me what you did," it said, and I
986told it: "By God, I did not learn and do not know whether this was a
987man or a girl." "That's what I want," it said.
988[...]
989'On the second night my bride was brought to me, after which the
990servants left her and went away. She fell asleep, and, while she
991was sleeping, I killed the cock, wrapped it in the cloth and put the
992four poles from the couch over it. Suddenly there was a huge crash
993like a peal of thunder and a fiery 'ifrit swooped on the girl. I
994fainted at the sight and when I recovered I heard a voice saying:
995"By the Lord of the Ka'ba, the girl has been carried off!" and there
996was a sound like the rustling of wind and bitter weeping. At this I
997shed tears, struck my head and was filled with regret when it was no
998longer of any use, for to me the whole world was worth no more than
999a bean.
1000
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1001=head2 v5.20.2 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Magical Trevor"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/magical-trevor.html>
1002
1003L<Announced on 2015-02-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225777.html>
1004
1005 Everyone loves Magical Trevor,
1006 'Cos the tricks that he does are ever so clever;
1007 Look at him now, disappearin' the cow,
1008 Where is the cow hidden right now?
1009
1010 Taking a bow, it's Magical Trevor,
1011 Everybody's seen that the trick is clever;
1012 Look at him there with his leathery, leathery whip!
1013 It's made of magic, and with a little flip--
1014
1015 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back,
1016 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back;
1017 Back, back, back from his magical journey,
1018 Yeah!
1019
1020 What did he see in the parallel dimension?
1021 He saw beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans;
1022 Oh, beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans,
1023 Yeah, yeah!
1024
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SH
1025=head2 v5.20.2-RC1 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Scampi"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/scampi.html>
1026
1027L<Announced on 2015-02-01 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225273.html>
1028
1029 I've seen things,
1030 I've seen them with my eyes;
1031 I've seen things,
1032 They're often in disguise.
1033
1034 Like carrots, handbags, cheese, toilets,
1035 Russians, planets, hamsters, weddings,
1036 Poets, Stalin, Kuala Lumpur!
1037 Pygmies, budgies, Kuala Lumpur!
1038
1039 I've seen things,
1040 I've seen them with my eyes;
1041 I've seen things,
1042 They're often in disguise.
1043
1044 Like carrots, handbags, cheese...
1045
2ee7da68 1046=head2 v5.20.1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. Diana Reed, "Così fan tutte"
c43e8743
SH
1047
1048L<Announced on 2014-09-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219789.html>
1049
1050 DORABELLA (as if waking from a daze): Where are they?
1051 DON ALFONSO: They've gone.
1052 FIORDILIGI: Oh, the cruel bitterness of parting!
1053
1054 DON ALFONSO:
1055 Take heart, my dearest children.
1056 Look, in the distance, your lovers are waving to you.
1057
1058 FIORDILIGI: Bon voyage, my darling!
1059 DORABELLA: Bon voyage!
1060
1061 FIORDILIGI:
1062 O heavens! How swiftly the ship is sailing away!
1063 It is disappearing already!
1064 It is no longer in sight!
1065 Oh, may heaven grant it a prosperous voyage!
1066
1067 DORABELLA: May good luck attend it to the battlefield!
1068 DON ALFONSO: And may your sweethearts and my friends be safe!
1069
1070 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA, DON ALFONSO:
1071 May the wind be gentle,
1072 may the sea be calm,
1073 and may the elements
1074 respond kindly
1075 to our wishes.
1076
2ee7da68 1077=head2 v5.20.1-RC2 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
d1da2d57
SH
1078
1079L<Announced on 2014-09-07 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219446.html>
1080
1081 GUGLIELMO:
1082 Oh God, I feel that this foot of mine
1083 is reluctant to come before her.
1084
1085 FERRANDO:
1086 My trembling lip
1087 can utter no word.
1088
1089 DON ALFONSO:
1090 The hero displays his manliness
1091 in the most terrible moments.
1092
1093 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA:
1094 Now that we have heard the news,
1095 you have the lesser duty:
1096 Take heart, and plunge your swords
1097 into both our hearts.
1098
1099 FERRANDO, GUGLIELMO:
1100 My idol, blame fate
1101 that I must abandon you.
1102
1103 DORABELLA: Ah no, you shall not leave...
1104 FIORDILIGI: No, cruel one, you shall not go...
1105 DORABELLA: First I want to tear out my heart.
1106 FIORDILIGI: First I want to die at your feet.
1107 FERRANDO (softly to Don Alfonso): What do you say to that?
1108 GUGLIELMO (softly to Don Alfonso): You realise?
1109 DON ALFONSO (softly): Steady, friend, finem lauda.
1110
1111 ALL:
1112 Thus destiny defrauds
1113 the hopes of mortals.
1114 Ah, among so many misfortunes,
1115 who can ever love life?
1116
2ee7da68 1117=head2 v5.20.1-RC1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
e1ded6ad
SH
1118
1119L<Announced on 2014-08-25 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218975.html>
1120
1121 DON ALFONSO:
1122 I'd like to speak, but I haven't the heart:
1123 my lip stammers.
1124 My voice cannot emerge,
1125 but remains in my throat.
1126 What will you do? What shall I do?
1127 Oh what a great catastrophe!
1128 There can be nothing worse.
1129 I feel pity for you and for them.
1130
1131 FIORDILIGI: Heavens! For mercy's sake, Signor Alfonso, don't make us
1132 die.
1133 DON ALFONSO: My children, you must arm yourselves with constancy.
1134 DORABELLA: Ye Gods! What evil has occurred? What horrible event? Is my
1135 love dead, perhaps?
1136 FIORDILIGI: Is mine dead?
1137 DON ALFONSO: They are not dead, but they are not far from it.
1138 DORABELLA: Wounded?
1139 DON ALFONSO: No.
1140 FIORDILIGI: Ill?
1141 DON ALFONSO: Nor that.
1142 FIORDILIGI: What, then?
1143 DON ALFONSO: A royal command summons them to the field of battle.
1144 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA: Alas, what do I hear? And they will leave?
1145 DON ALFONSO: Immediately.
1146 DORABELLA: And there is no way of preventing it?
1147 DON ALFONSO: There is none.
1148 FIORDILIGI: And not even a single farewell...
1149 DON ALFONSO: The unhappy men haven't the courage to see you; but if
1150 you wish it, they are ready...
1151 DORABELLA: Where are they?
1152 DON ALFONSO: Come in, friends.
1153
7684c8f0
RS
1154=head2 v5.20.0 - William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
1155
1156L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215815.html>
1157
1158 But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
1159 Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
1160 Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
1161 When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
1162 So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
1163 So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
1164
f17f1150
RS
1165=head2 v5.20.0-RC1 - Lindsey Buckingham, "Second Hand News"
1166
1167L<Announced on 2014-05-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215479.html>
1168
1169 When times go bad
1170 when times go rough
1171 Won't you lay me down in tall grass
1172 And let me do my stuff
1173
2ee7da68 1174=head2 v5.19.11 - Isidore-Lucien Ducasse [as "Comte de Lautréamont"], trans. Paul Knight, "Les Chants de Maldoror"
50bb8485
SH
1175
1176L<Announced on 2014-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/04/msg214580.html>
1177
1178O rigorous mathematics, I have not forgotten you since your wise lessons,
1179sweeter than honey, filtered into my heart like a refreshing wave.
1180Instinctively, from the cradle, I had longed to drink from your source, older
1181than the sun, and I continue to tread the sacred sanctuary of your solemn
1182temple, I, the most faithful of your devotees. There was a vagueness in my
1183mind, something thick as smoke; but I managed to mount the steps which lead to
1184your altar, and you drove away this dark veil, as the wind blows the
1185draught-board. You replaced it with excessive coldness, consummate prudence and
1186implacable logic. With the aid of your fortifying milk, my intellect developed
1187rapidly and took on immense proportions amid the ravishing lucidity which you
1188bestow as a gift on all those who sincerely love you. Arithmetic! Algebra!
1189Geometry! Awe-inspiring trinity! Luminous triangle! He who has not known you
1190is a fool!
1191
2ee7da68 1192=head2 v5.19.10 - John Chadwick, "The Decipherment of Linear B"
9e616318
AC
1193
1194L<Announced on 2014-03-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/03/msg213851.html>
071a75f5
AC
1195
1196The urge to discover secrets is deeply ingrained in human nature; even
1197the least curious mind is roused by the promise of sharing knowledge
1198withheld from others. Some are fortunate enough to find a job which
1199consists in the solution of mysteries, whether it be the physicist who
1200tracks down a hitherto unknown nuclear particle or the policeman who
1201detects a criminal. But most of us are driven to sublimate this urge
1202by the solving of artificial puzzles devised for our entertainment.
1203
2ee7da68 1204=head2 v5.19.9 - R. A. MacAvoy, "Tea with the Black Dragon"
132664ae
TC
1205
1206L<Announced on 2014-02-20 by Tony Cook|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/02/msg213047.html>
1207
1208Old hands. The smell of rain--the smell of Ch'an. Quiet words in
1209rough Cantonese. "I am not to be your master. Your master has to be
1210stronger than you are--has to tell you you are a fool and make you
1211know it. And make you feel content in being a fool. How could I do
1212that for you? I'm old. You are too strong for me; you are full of
1213chi." The old man has paused then, huddled against the wind while
1214clouds thickened above them.
1215
1216"I will tell you this, Long," he continued, "Before you find yourself
1217you will lose your chi. Also you will leave behind you all pride of
1218body, pride of mind. You will be reduced. Like me." The old man
1219closed his eyes, and rain began to beat against his gray, crew-cut
1220hair. He pulled his coat closer. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and
1221he looked Long in the face.
1222
1223"You must leave China. Go across the ocean. There you will meet your
1224master." He set down his teacup with a palsied hand. His voice rose,
1225grew fierce.
1226
1227"I tell you this, most honored and impressive visitor. You are a
1228fool, yes, but you will find the very thing you seek. You will find
1229truth!"
1230
2ee7da68 1231=head2 v5.19.8 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
d897adff
RS
1232
1233L<Announced on 2014-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211729.html>
1234
1235“I used to get a big kick out of saving people’s lives. Now I wonder what the
1236hell’s the point, since they all have to die anyway.”
1237
1238“Oh, there’s a point, all right,” Dunbar assured him.
1239
1240“Is there? What is the point?”
1241
1242“The point is to keep them from dying for as long as you can.”
1243
1244“Yeah, but what’s the point, since they all have to die anyway?”
1245
1246“The trick is not to think about that.”
1247
1248“Never mind the trick. What the hell’s the point?”
1249
1250Dunbar pondered in silence for a few moments. “Who the hell knows?”
1251
2cff31c9
A
1252=head2 v5.19.7 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Slaughterhouse-Five"
1253
1254L<Announced on 2013-12-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/12/msg210882.html>
1255
e91f1fc1
SH
1256And somewhere in there was springtime. The corpse mines were closed
1257down. The soldiers all left to fight the Russians. In the suburbs,
1258the women and children dug rifle pits. Billy and the rest of his group
1259were locked up in the stable in the suburbs. And then, one morning,
1260they got up to discover that the door was unlocked. World War Two in
1261Europe was over.
2cff31c9 1262
e91f1fc1
SH
1263Billy and the rest wandered out onto the shady street. The trees were
1264leafing out. There was nothing going on out there, no traffic of any
1265kind. There was only one vehicle, an abandoned wagon drawn by two
1266horses. The wagon was green and coffin-shaped.
2cff31c9 1267
e91f1fc1 1268Birds were talking.
2cff31c9 1269
e91f1fc1 1270One bird said to Billy Pilgrim, "Pee-tee-weet?"
2cff31c9 1271
5a3c3c58
CBW
1272=head2 v5.19.6 - Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Spam"
1273
1274L<Announced on 2013-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/11/msg210043.html>
1275
4ed12d4a
SH
1276 Interior: cheap cafe. All the customers are Vikings. Mr and Mrs Bun enter downwards (on wires).
1277
1278 Mr. Bun: Morning.
1279 Waitress: Morning.
1280 Mr. Bun: What have you got, then?
1281 Waitress: Well there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam;
1282 egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam;
1283 spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam;
1284 or lobster thermidor aux crevettes, with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried
1285 egg on top and spam
1286 Mrs. Bun: Have you got anything without spam in it?
1287 Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got MUCH spam in it.
1288 Mrs. Bun: I don't want ANY spam.
1289 Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
1290 Mrs. Bun: That's got spam in it!
1291 Mr. Bun: Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
1292 Mrs. Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage, without the spam.
1293 Waitress: Uuuuuuggggh!
1294 Mrs. Bun: What d'you mean, uugggh! I don't like spam.
1295 Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
1296
1297 (Brief shot of a Viking ship)
1298
1299 Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
1300 Mrs. Bun: Why not?
1301 Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it?
1302 Mrs. Bun: I don't like spam!
5a3c3c58 1303
40e1c3e8 1304=head2 v5.19.5 - Charles Baudelaire, trans. James McGowan, "The Flowers of Evil", 51. The Cat
4d764166
SH
1305
1306L<Announced on 2013-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/10/msg208752.html>
1307
4d764166
SH
1308 I
1309
1310 A cat is strolling through my mind
1311 Acting as though he owned the place,
1312 A lovely cat -- strong, charming, sweet.
1313 When he meows, one scarcely hears,
1314
1315 So tender and discreet his tone;
1316 But whether he should growl or purr
1317 His voice is always rich and deep.
1318 That is the secret of his charm.
1319
1320 This purling voice that filters down
1321 Into my darkest depths of soul
1322 Fulfils me like a balanced verse,
1323 Delights me as a potion would.
1324
1325 It puts to sleep the cruellest ills
1326 And keeps a rein on ecstasies --
1327 Without the need for any words
1328 It can pronounce the longest phrase.
1329
1330 Oh no, there is no bow that draws
1331 Across my heart, fine instrument,
1332 And makes to sing so royally
1333 The strongest and the purest chord,
1334
1335 More than your voice, mysterious cat,
1336 Exotic cat, seraphic cat,
1337 In whom all is, angelically,
1338 As subtle as harmonious.
1339
1340 II
1341
1342 From his soft fur, golden and brown,
1343 Goes out so sweet a scent, one night
1344 I might have been embalmed in it
1345 By giving him one little pet.
1346
1347 He is my household's guardian soul;
1348 He judges, he presides, inspires
1349 All matters in hos royal realm;
1350 Might he be fairy? or a god?
1351
1352 When my eyes, to this cat I love
1353 Drawn as by a magnet's force,
1354 Turn tamely back from that appeal,
1355 And when I look within myself,
1356
1357 I notice with astonishment
1358 The fire of his opal eyes,
1359 Clear beacons glowing, living jewels,
1360 Taking my measure, steadily.
1361
ce520fa6
SH
1362=head2 v5.19.4 - Washington Irving, "The Widow and Her Son"
1363
1364L<Announced on 2013-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/09/msg207969.html>
1365
ce520fa6
SH
1366There is something in sickness that breaks down the pride of manhood;
1367that softens the heart and brings it back to the feelings of infancy.
1368Who that has languished, even in advanced life, in sickness and
1369despondency — who that has pined on a weary bed in the neglect and
1370loneliness of a foreign land — but has thought on the mother "that
1371looked on his childhood," that smoothed his pillow and administered to
1372his helplessness. — Oh! there is an enduring tenderness in the love
1373of a mother to her son that transcends all other affections of the
1374heart. It is neither to be chilled by selfishness — nor daunted by
1375danger — nor weakened by worthlessness — nor stifled by ingratitude.
1376She will sacrifice every comfort to his convenience — she will
1377surrender every pleasure to his enjoyment — she will glory in his fame
1378and exult in his prosperity. And if misfortune overtake him he will
1379be the dearer to her from misfortune — and if disgrace settle upon his
1380name, she will still love and cherish him in spite of his disgrace —
1381and if all the world beside cast him off, she will be all the world to
1382him.
1383
9a701c04
SH
1384=head2 v5.19.3 - Andrew Hodges, "Alan Turing: The Enigma"
1385
1386L<Announced on 2013-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg206318.html>
1387
9a701c04
SH
1388E.M. Forster, outdoing the King's heresy with grand bravura, had
1389written in 1938 that if he were faced with the choice between
1390betraying his country and betraying his friends, he hoped he would
1391have the courage to betray his country. He would always put the
1392personal above the political. But for Alan Turing, unlike Forster, or
1393Wittgenstein, or G.H. Hardy, it was more than a theoretical question.
1394For him not only had the personal become the political, but the
1395political was the personal. He had chosen and promised for himself in
1396working for the government. The choice for him therefore was that
1397between betraying one part of himself and betraying another part. And
1398however much he wavered between these alternatives, there was a solid
1399logic to the mind of security, one that could not be expected to take
1400an interest in notions of freedom and development. He had no rights
1401to such things, as he would have had to admit. He might have
1402outwitted the Home Guard, but when it came to questions that mattered,
1403there was no doubt that he had placed himself under military law.
1404There was a war on; there was always a war on now.
1405
0b0ed28b
AP
1406=head2 v5.19.2 - Fred Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month"
1407
1408L<Announced on 2013-07-22 by Aristotle Pagaltzis|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/07/msg204905.html>
1409
c2a00619
KW
1410The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the
1411correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life,
1412showing things that never were nor could be. [...] Not all is delight,
1413however [...] One must perform perfectly. The computer resembles the
1414magic of legend in this respect, too. If one character, one pause, of
1415the incantation is not strictly in proper form, the magic doesn't work.
1416
549a11ea
DG
1417=head2 v5.19.1 - William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
1418
703078b2 1419L<Announced on 2013-06-21 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/06/msg203449.html>
549a11ea
DG
1420
1421 Over hill, over dale,
1422 Thorough bush, thorough briar,
1423 Over park, over pale,
1424 Thorough flood, thorough fire,
1425 I do wander everywhere,
1426 Swifter than the moon's sphere;
1427 And I serve the fairy queen,
1428 To dew her orbs upon the green.
1429 The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
1430 In their gold coats, spots you see;
1431 Those be rubies, fairy favours,
1432 In their freckles live our savours.
1433 I must go seek some dew-drops here,
1434 And hang a perl in every cowslip's ear.
1435 Farewell, thou lob of spirits, I'll be gone;
1436 My queen and all her elves come here anon!
1437
5f42d1f2 1438=head2 v5.19.0 - Batman, of the Joker, in "The Dark Knight Returns"
549a11ea
DG
1439
1440L<Announced on 2013-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201980.html>
1441
1442 From the beginning, I knew…
1443 …that there was nothing wrong with you…
1444 …that I can't fix…
1445 …with my hands…
1446
40e1c3e8 1447=head2 v5.18.4 - Robert W. Chambers, Cassilda's Song in "The King in Yellow," Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1
RS
1448
1449L<Announced on 2014-10-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg220770.html>
1450
1451 Along the shore the cloud waves break,
1452 The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
1453 The shadows lengthen
1454 In Carcosa.
1455
1456 Strange is the night where black stars rise,
1457 And strange moons circle through the skies
1458 But stranger still is
1459 Lost Carcosa.
1460
1461 Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
1462 Where flap the tatters of the King,
1463 Must die unheard in
1464 Dim Carcosa.
1465
1466 Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
1467 Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
1468 Shall dry and die in
1469 Lost Carcosa.
1470
8bbce0b1
RS
1471=head2 v5.18.3 - (no epigraph)
1472
1473(no epigraph)
1474
40e1c3e8 1475=head2 v5.18.3-RC2 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 1476
dd047fac 1477L<Announced on 2014-09-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220613.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
1478
1479"Ah! I see it now!" I shrieked. "You have seized the throne and the
1480empire. Woe! woe to you who are crowned with the crown of the King in
1481Yellow!"
1482
40e1c3e8 1483=head2 v5.18.3-RC1 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 1484
dd047fac 1485L<Announced on 2014-09-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220072.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
1486
1487 CAMILLA: You, sir, should unmask.
1488
1489 STRANGER: Indeed?
1490
1491 CASSILDA: Indeed it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.
1492
1493 STRANGER: I wear no mask.
1494
1495 CAMILLA: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask!
1496
6d0eb662
RS
1497=head2 v5.18.2 - Miss Manners
1498
1499L<Announced on 2014-01-06 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211224.html>
1500
1501One of the major mistakes people make is that they think manners are
1502only the expression of happy ideas. There's a whole range of behavior
1503that can be expressed in a mannerly way. That's what civilization is all
1504about – doing it in a mannerly and not an antagonistic way. One of the
1505places we went wrong was the naturalistic Rousseauean movement of the
1506Sixties in which people said, "Why can't you just say what's on your
1507mind?" In civilization there have to be some restraints. If we followed
1508every impulse, we'd be killing one another.
1509
80963870
RS
1510=head2 v5.18.1 - Chuck Moore
1511
1512L<Announced on 2013-08-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205897.html>
1513
1514The operating system is another concept that is curious. Operating
1515systems are dauntingly complex and totally unnecessary. It’s a brilliant
1516thing that Bill Gates has done in selling the world on the notion of
1517operating systems. It’s probably the greatest con game the world has
1518ever seen.
1519
1520An operating system does absolutely nothing for you. As long as you had
1521something — a subroutine called disk driver, a subroutine called some
1522kind of communication support, in the modern world, it doesn’t do
1523anything else. In fact, Windows spends a lot of time with overlays and
1524disk management all stuff like that which are irrelevant. You’ve got
1525gigabyte disks; you’ve got megabyte RAMs. The world has changed in a way
1526that renders the operating system unnecessary.
1527
1528=head2 v5.18.1-RC1 - Chuck Moore
1529
1530L<Announced on 2013-08-02 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205445.html>
1531
1532Compilers are probably the worst code ever written. They are written by
1533someone who has never written a compiler before and will never do so
1534again. The more elaborate the language, the more complex, bug-ridden,
1535and unusable is the compiler. But a simple compiler for a simple
1536language is an essential tool—if only for documentation.
1537
4e720792
RS
1538=head2 v5.18.0 - Yevgeny Zamyatin
1539
1540L<Announced on 2013-05-18 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201940.html>
1541
1542It is an error to divide people into the living and the dead: there are people
1543who are dead-alive, and people who are alive-alive. The dead-alive also write,
1544walk, speak, act. But they make no mistakes; only machines make no mistakes,
1545and they produce only dead things. The alive-alive are constantly in error, in
1546search, in questions, in torment.
1547
2ee7da68 1548=head2 v5.18.0-RC4 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
4e720792 1549
dd047fac 1550L<Announced on 2013-05-16 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201889.html>
4e720792
RS
1551
1552Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
1553
1554=head2 v5.18.0-RC3 - Tom Waits, "The Ocean Doesn't Want Me"
1555
dd047fac 1556L<Announced on 2013-05-14 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201823.html>
4e720792
RS
1557
1558 I'd love to go drowning
1559 And to stay and to stay
1560 But the ocean doesn't want me today
1561 I'll go in up to here
1562 It can't possibly hurt
1563 All they will find is my beer
1564 And my shirt
1565
1566=head2 v5.18.0-RC2 - Tom Waits, "Earth Died Screaming"
1567
1568L<Announced on 2013-05-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201723.html>
1569
1570 And the great day of wrath has come
1571 And here's mud in your big red eye
1572 The poker's in the fire
1573 And the locusts take the sky
1574 And the earth died screaming
1575 While I lay dreaming of you
1576
1577=head2 v5.18.0-RC1 - Tom Waits, "What's He Building in There?"
1578
1579L<Announced on 2013-05-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201651.html>
1580
1581 What's he building in there?
1582
1583 We have a right to know…
1584
2ee7da68 1585=head2 v5.17.11 - Nigel Tufnel in "This is Spın̈al Tap"
4e720792
RS
1586
1587L<Announced on 2013-04-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/04/msg201056.html>
1588
1589It's very special because, if you can see, the numbers all go to…
1590eleven! Look, right across the board: eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven!
1591
2ee7da68 1592=head2 v5.17.10 - Vernor Vinge, "A Fire Upon The Deep"
7707f065 1593
f3d08688 1594L<Announced on 2013-03-23 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200504.html>
7707f065
MM
1595
1596The archive informed the automation. Data structures were built, recipes
1597followed. A local network was built, faster than anything on Straum, but surely
1598safe. Nodes were added, modified by other recipes. The archive was a friendly
1599place, with hierarchies of translation keys that led them along. Straum itself
1600would be famous for this.
1601
1602Six months passed. A year.
1603
72f869fd 1604The omniscient view. Not self-aware really. Self-awareness is much over-rated.
7707f065 1605Most automation works far better as a part of a whole, and even if human-
72f869fd 1606powerful, it does not need to self-know.
7707f065 1607
2ee7da68 1608=head2 v5.17.9 - Douglas Adams, "The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy"
fed67cf1 1609
f3d08688 1610L<Announced on 2013-02-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/02/msg199115.html>
fed67cf1
CBW
1611
1612Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
1613The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a
1614recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of
1615his poem 'Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My
1616Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died
1617of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the
1618Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one
1619of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been
1620'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to
1621embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled
1622'My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine,
1623in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation,
1624leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
1625
1626The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator
1627Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England,
1628in the destruction of the planet Earth.
1629
2ee7da68 1630=head2 v5.17.8 - Iain Pears, "An Instance of the Fingerpost"
2eea07f2 1631
f3d08688 1632L<Announced on 2013-01-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/01/msg197571.html>
2eea07f2
AC
1633
1634I must here declare myself as someone who does not for a moment subscribe to
1635the general view that a willingness to perform oneself is detrimental to the
1636dignity of experimental philosophy. There is, after all, a clear distinction
1637between labour carried out for financial reward, and that done for the
1638improvement of mankind: to put it another way, Lower as a philosopher was
1639fully my equal even if he fell away when he became the practising physician.
1640I think ridiculous of certain professors of anatomy, who find it beneath
1641them to pick up the knife themselves, but merely comment while hired hands
1642do the cutting. Sylvius would never have dreamt of sitting on a dais reading
b86ac955 1643from an authority while others cut — when he taught, the knife was
2eea07f2
AC
1644in his hand and the blood spattered his coat. Boyle also did not scruple to
1645perform his own experiments and, on one occasion in my presence, even showed
1646himself willing to anatomise a rat with his very own hands. Nor was he less
1647a gentleman when he had finished. Indeed, in my opinion, his stature was all
1648the greater, for in Boyle wealth, humility and curiosity mingled, and the
1649world is richer for it.
1650
2ee7da68 1651=head2 v5.17.7 - R. Scott Bakker, "The Darkness That Comes Before"
c2a10b9c 1652
f3d08688 1653L<Announced on 2012-12-18 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/12/msg196707.html>
c2a10b9c
DR
1654
1655No thought.
4ed12d4a
SH
1656
1657The boy extinguished. Only a place.
1658
1659This place.
1660
1661Motionless, the Pragma sat facing him, the bare soles of his feet flat against each other, his dark frock scored by the shadows of deep folds, his eyes as empty as the child they watched.
1662
1663A place without breath or sound. A place of sight alone. A place without before or after . . . almost.
1664
1665For the first lances of sunlight careered over the glacier, as ponderous as great tree limbs in the wind. Shadows hardened and light gleamed across the Pragma’s ancient skull.
1666
1667The old man’s left hand forsook his right sleeve, bearing a watery knife. And like a rope in water, his arm pitched outward, fingertips trailing across the blade as the knife swung languidly into the air, the sun skating and the dark shrine plunging across its mirror back . . .
1668
1669And the place where Kellhus had once existed extended an open hand—the blond hairs like luminous filaments against tanned skin—and grasped the knife from stunned space.
1670
1671The slap of pommel against palm triggered the collapse of place into little boy. The pale stench of his body. Breath, sound, and lurching thoughts.
1672
1673I have been legion . . .
1674
1675In his periphery, he could see the spike of the sun ease from the mountain. He felt drunk with exhaustion. In the recoil of his trance, it seemed all he could hear were the twigs arching and bobbing in the wind, pulled by leaves like a million sails no bigger than his hand. Cause everywhere, but amid countless minute happenings—diffuse, useless.
1676
1677Now I understand.
c2a10b9c 1678
2ee7da68 1679=head2 v5.17.6 - Kurt Vonnegut, "The Sirens of Titan"
1443de07 1680
f3d08688 1681L<Announced on 2012-11-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195659.html>
1443de07
RS
1682
1683Beatrice, looking like a gypsy queen, smoldered at the foot of a statue
1684of a young physical student. At first glance, the laboratory-gowned
1685scientist seemed to be a perfect servant of nothing but truth. At first
1686glance, one was convinced that nothing but truth could please him as he
1687beamed at his test tube. At first glance, one thought that he was as
1688much above the beastly concerns of mankind as the harmoniums in the
1689caves of Mercury. There, at first glance, was a young man without
1690vanity, without lust — and one accepted at its face value the title Salo
1691had engraved on the statue, "Discovery of Atomic Power."
1692
6720b7ff
FR
1693=head2 v5.17.5 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
1694
f3d08688 1695L<Announced on 2012-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194349.html>
6720b7ff
FR
1696
1697Neither of them noticed the pair of polka-dotted knickers hiding
1698behind the ventilation duct overhead, listening patiently and
1699recording everything.
1700
e6a2c28f
FR
1701=head2 v5.17.4 - Roald Dahl, "Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf"
1702
f3d08688 1703L<Announced on 2012-09-19 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/09/msg192635.html>
e6a2c28f 1704
5814c912
RS
1705 The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
1706 She whips a pistol from her knickers.
1707 She aims it at the creature's head,
1708 And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
e6a2c28f 1709
5814c912
RS
1710 A few weeks later, in the wood,
1711 I came across Miss Riding Hood.
1712 But what a change! No cloak of red,
1713 No silly hood upon her head.
1714 She said, "Hello, and do please note
1715 My lovely furry wolfskin coat."
e6a2c28f 1716
4079ea87
SH
1717=head2 v5.17.3 - Kris Ta-belle, "Smoked Perl Onion Soup"
1718
1719L<Announced on 2012-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190775.html>
1720
1721Preparation:
1722
1723Cut 16 Perl Onions into quarters and put them in a grill smoker rack
1724or a perforated pan over a BBQ using hickory wood chips or Special
1725Blend Smoker Bisquettes. Smoke them for an hour and remove once they
1726look golden brown.
1727Let them cool and put them in the fridge (or freezer) until you are
1728ready to create the soup.
1729
1730Ingredients:
1731
5814c912
RS
1732 16 diced, pre-smoked, Perl Onions
1733 3 tbsp butter
1734 1/4 cup olive oil
1735 2 small garlic cloves, finely minced
1736 1 tsp salt
1737 1 tsp sugar
1738 black pepper to taste
1739 1 cup red wine
1740 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1741 6 cups of beef or vegetable stock
1742 1 cup of thick cream (milk can be used as a substitute)
4079ea87
SH
1743
1744Method:
1745
5814c912
RS
1746 Melt the butter in a pan and then add olive oil.
1747 Heat and add the onions to caramelize over a medium-high heat for up
1748 to half an hour.
1749 Add the garlic, turn down the heat and cook for a further 5 minutes.
1750 Add the salt, pepper and sugar.
1751 Now add the red wine and reduce to a jam like consistency.
1752 Add the flour, stir well and add the stock a cup at a time.
1753 Simmer for 30 minutes, add the cream and heat to almost boiling.
4079ea87
SH
1754
1755Enjoy.
1756
d7846122
TC
1757=head2 v5.17.2 - Terry Pratchet, "The Colour of Magic"
1758
3d76f962 1759L<Announced on 2012-07-21 by TonyC|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/07/msg189828.html>
d7846122
TC
1760
1761‘I knew it,’ said Rincewind. ‘We're in a strong magical field.’
1762
1763Twoflower and Hrun looked around the little hollow where they had made
1764their noonday halt. Then they looked at each other.
1765
1766The horses were quietly cropping the rich grass by the stream. Yellow
1767butterflies skittered among the bushes. There was a smell of thyme
1768and a buzzing of bees. The wild pigs on the spit sizzled gently.
1769
1770Hrun shrugged and went back to oiling his biceps. They gleamed.
1771
1772‘Looks alright to me,’ he said.
1773
1774‘Try tossing a coin,’ said Rincewind.
1775
1776‘What?’
1777
1778‘Go on. Toss a coin.’
1779
1780‘Hokay,’ said Hrun. 'If that gives you any pleasure.’ He reached into
1781his pouch and withdrew a handful of loose change plundered from a
1782dozen realms. With some care he selected a Zchloty leaden
1783quarter-iotum and balanced it on a purple thumbnail.
1784
1785‘You call,’ he said. ‘Heads or—’ he inspected the obverse with
1786an air of intense concentration, ‘some sort of a fish with legs.’
1787
1788‘When it's in the air,’ said Rincewind. Hrun grinned and flicked his thumb.
1789
1790The iotum rose, spinning.
1791
1792‘Edge,’ said Rincewind, without looking at it.
1793
322e634c
JL
1794=head2 v5.17.1 - Rand Miller, "Myst: The Book of Ti'ana"
1795
1796L<Announced on 2012-06-20 by doy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/06/msg188354.html>
1797
1798On their return from Ko'ah, Aitrus had shown her the Book, patiently
1799taking her through page after page, and showing her how such an Age was
1800"made." She had seen at once the differences between this archaic form
1801and the ordinary written speech of the D'ni, noting how it was not
1802merely more elaborate but more specific: a language of precise yet
1803subtle descriptive power. Yet seeing was one thing, believing another.
1804Given all the evidence, her rational mind still fought against accepting
1805it.
1806
dd15390c
Z
1807=head2 v5.17.0 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
1808
f51b9d59 1809L<Announced on 2012-05-26 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg187214.html>
dd15390c
Z
1810
1811`Welcome, comrades!' Burya opened his arms toward the soldier.
1812`Yes it is true! With help from our allies of the Festival, the iron
1813hand of the reactionary junta is about to be overthrown for all time!
1814The new economy is being born; the marginal cost of production has
1815been abolished, and from now on, if any item is produced once, it can
1816be replicated infinitely. From each according to his imagination,
1817to each according to his needs! Join us or better still, bring your
1818fellow soldiers and workers to join us!'
1819
1820There was a sharp bang from the roof of the Corn Exchange, right at the
1821climax of his impromptu speech; heads turned in alarm. Something had
1822broken inside the spork factory and a stream of rainbow-hued plastic
1823implements fountained toward the sky and clattered to the cobblestones
1824on every side, like a harbinger of the postindustrial society to come.
1825Workers and peasants alike stared in open-mouthed bewilderment at this
1826astounding display of productivity, then bent to scrabble in the muck
1827for the brightly colored sporks of revolution. A volley of shots rang
1828out and Burya Rubenstein raised his hands, grinning wildly, to accept
1829the salute of the soldiers from the Skull Hill garrison.
1830
c682aa67
SH
1831=head2 v5.16.3 - Devo, "Freedom of Choice"
1832
1833L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200009.html>
1834
1835 A victim of collision on the open sea
1836 Nobody ever said that life was free
1837 Sink, swim, go down with the ship
1838 But use your freedom of choice
1839
1840=head2 v5.16.2 - Stanislaw Lem, "The Cyberiad", Trurl's Machine
1841
1842L<Announced on 2012-11-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg194915.html>
1843
1844Once upon a time Trurl the constructor built an eight-story thinking
1845machine. When it was finished, he gave it a coat of white paint,
1846trimmed the edges in lavender, stepped back, squinted, then added a
1847little curlicue on the front and, where one might imagine the forehead
1848to be, a few pale orange polkadots. Extremely pleased with himself,
1849he whistled an air and, as is always done on such occasions, asked it
1850the ritual question of how much is two plus two.
1851
1852The machine stirred. Its tubes began to glow, its coils warmed up,
1853current coursed through all its circuits like a waterfall,
1854transformers hummed and throbbed, there was a clanging, and a
1855chugging, and such an ungodly racket that Trurl began to think of
1856adding a special mentation muffler. Meanwhile the machine labored on,
1857as if it had been given the most difficult problem in the Universe to
1858solve; the ground shook, the sand slid underfoot from the vibration,
1859valves popped like champagne corks, the relays nearly gave way under
1860the strain. At last, when Trurl had grown extremely impatient, the
1861machine ground to a halt and said in a voice like thunder: SEVEN!
1862
2ee7da68 1863=head2 v5.16.1 - Emerald Rose, "Never Split The Party"
a210cc89 1864
6dab83b1 1865L<Announced on 2012-08-08 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190413.html>
a210cc89
RS
1866
1867 Don't you know? You never split the party
1868 Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty
1869 The wizard in the middle, where he can shed some light
1870 And you never let that damn thief out of sight…
1871
c33412d7 1872=head2 v5.16.1-RC1 - Tom Moldvay, Foreward to the "Dungeons & Dragons Basic Rulebook"
a210cc89 1873
6dab83b1 1874L<Announced on 2012-08-03 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190264.html>
a210cc89
RS
1875
1876I was busy rescuing the captured maiden when the dragon showed up.
1877Fifty feed of scaled terror glared down at us with smoldering red eyes.
1878Tendrils of smoke drifted out from between fangs larger than daggers.
1879The dragon blocked the only exit from the cave.
1880
1881
1882
1883I unwrapped the sword which the mysterious cleric had given me. The
1884sword was golden-tinted steel. Its hilt was set with a rainbow
1885collection of precious gems. I shouted my battle cry and charged
1886
1887My charge caught the dragon by surprise. Its titanic jaws snapped shut
1888inches from my face. I swung the golden sword with both arms. The
1889swordblade bit into the dragon's neck and continued through to the other
1890side. With an earth-shaking crash, the dragon dropped dead at my feet.
1891The magic sword had saved my life and ended the reign of the
1892dragon-tyrant. The countryside was freed and I could return as a hero.
1893
2ee7da68 1894=head2 v5.16.0 - W.H. Auden, "September 1, 1939"
4c4c16b2 1895
6dab83b1 1896L<Announced on 2012-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg186903.html>
4c4c16b2 1897
a210cc89
RS
1898 All I have is a voice
1899 To undo the folded lie,
1900 The romantic lie in the brain
1901 Of the sensual man-in-the-street
1902 And the lie of Authority
1903 Whose buildings grope the sky:
1904 There is no such thing as the State
1905 And no one exists alone;
1906 Hunger allows no choice
1907 To the citizen or the police;
1908 We must love one another or die.
1909
2ee7da68 1910=head2 v5.15.9 - Bob Dylan, "Blowin' In The Wind"
54fdd2d6 1911
6dab83b1 1912L<Announced on 2012-03-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/03/msg184824.html>
a97faa3d 1913
4ed12d4a
SH
1914 How many roads must a man walk down
1915 Before you call him a man?
1916 Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
1917 Before she sleeps in the sand?
1918 Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannonballs fly
1919 Before they're forever banned?
1920 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1921 The answer is blowin' in the wind
1922
1923 How many years can a mountain exist
1924 Before it's washed to the sea?
1925 Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
1926 Before they're allowed to be free?
1927 Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
1928 Pretending he just doesn't see?
1929 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1930 The answer is blowin' in the wind
1931
1932 How many times must a man look up
1933 Before he can see the sky?
1934 Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
1935 Before he can hear people cry?
1936 Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
1937 That too many people have died?
1938 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1939 The answer is blowin' in the wind
54fdd2d6 1940
2ee7da68 1941=head2 v5.15.8 - The KLF, "The Manual-How To Have A Number One The Easy Way"
1f9d7ff5 1942
6dab83b1 1943L<Announced on 2012-02-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/02/msg183919.html>
1f9d7ff5
MM
1944
1945 "Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
1946 Doctor Who, in the Tardis
1947 Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
1948 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who
1949 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who"
1950
1951Gibberish of course, but every lad in the country under a certain
1952age related instinctively to what it was about. The ones slightly
1953older needed a couple of pints inside them to clear away the mind
1954debris left by the passing years before it made sense. As for
1955girls and our chorus, we think they must have seen it as pure crap.
1956A fact that must have limited to zero our chances of staying at The
1957Top for more than one week.
1958
1959Stock, Aitkin and Waterman, however, are kings of writing chorus
1960lyrics that go straight to the emotional heart of the 7" single
1961buying girls in this country. Their most successful records will kick
1962into the chorus with a line which encapsulates the entire emotional
1963meaning of the song. This will obviously be used as the title. As
1964soon as Rick Astley hit the first line of the chorus on his debut
1965single it was all over - the Number One position was guaranteed:
1966
1967 "I'm never going to give you up"
1968
2ee7da68 1969=head2 v5.15.7 - Penelope Lively, "The Voyage of QV66"
cf6bc744 1970
6dab83b1 1971L<Announced on 2012-01-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/01/msg182230.html>
cf6bc744
CBW
1972
1973"Laboratories," announced Henry. "Kindly don't touch anything."
1974
1975He led us into a long low brick shed. Outside there was a
1976notice on a piece of board, crudely printed in red paint,
1977which said GRATE SIENCE DISCOVERYS DONE HERE SSSH! BRING YOUR
1978OWN BUKKIT NO PINCHING ANYWUN ELSE'S EXPERRYMENTS CANTEEN OPEN
1979ALL DAY CHIMPS ONLY.
1980
1981There were a lot of large black monkeys inside, all intently
1982busy on what they were doing. Some of them were pouring stuff
1983out of bottles into buckets and carefully stirring the ensuing
1984mixture; others were at work with glass tubes and jars, blowing
1985and measuring and mixing; others were crouched over long benches
1986with tools and heaps of bits and pieces of metal, cutting and
1987bending and constructing. There was a great deal of noise and
1988chatter. Every now and then one of them would give a whoop of
1989excitement and all the others would gather round and jump up and
1990down cheering and applauding.
1991
1992"Chimps," said Henry. "They're awfully clever."
1993
2ee7da68 1994=head2 v5.15.6 - Ursula K. Leguin, "A Wizard of Earthsea"
b0d358f0 1995
6dab83b1 1996L<Announced on 2011-12-20 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/12/msg180962.html>
b0d358f0
DR
1997
1998Ged had thought that as the prentice of a great mage he would enter at once
1999into the mystery and mastery of power. He would understand the language of the
2000beasts and the speech of the leaves of the forest, he thought, and sway the
2001winds with his word, and learn to change himself into any shape he
2002wished. Maybe he and his master would run together as stags, or fly to Re Albi
2003over the mountain on the wings of eagles.
2004
2005But it was not so at all. They wandered, first down into the Vale and then
2006gradually south and westward around the mountain, given lodging in little
2007villages or spending the night out in the wilderness, like poor
2008journeyman-sorcerers, or tinkers, or beggars. They entered no mysterious
2009domain. Nothing happened. The mage's oaken staff that Ged had watched at first
2010with eager dread was nothing but a stout staff to walk with. Three days went
2011by and four days went by and still Ogion had not spoken a single charm in
2012Ged's hearing, and had not taught him a single name or rune or spell.
2013
2ee7da68 2014=head2 v5.15.5 - Nikolai Gogol, trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, "The Diary of a Madman"
d0fc7727 2015
6dab83b1 2016L<Announced on 2011-11-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/11/msg179588.html>
d0fc7727
SH
2017
2018This day - is a day of the greatest solemnity! Spain has a king. He has
2019been found. I am that king. Only this very day did I learn of it. I
2020confess, it came to me suddenly in a flash of lightning. I don't understand
2021how I could have thought and imagined that I was a titular councillor. How
2022could such a wild notion enter my head? It's a good thing no one thought of
2023putting me in an insane asylum. Now everything is laid open before me. Now
2024I see everything as on the palm of my hand. And before, I don't understand,
2025before everything around me was in some sort of fog. And all this happens, I
2026think, because people imagine that the human brain is in the head. Not at
2027all: it is brought by a wind from the direction of the Caspian Sea. First
2028off, I announced to Mavra who I am. When she heard that the king of Spain
2029was standing before her, she clasped her hands and nearly died of fright.
2030The stupid woman had never seen a king of Spain before. However, I
2031endeavoured to calm her down and assured her in gracious words of my
2032benevolence and that I was not at all angry that she sometimes polished my
2033boots poorly. They're benighted folk. It's impossible to tell them about
2034lofty matters. She got frightened because she's convinced that all kings of
2035Spain are like Philip II. But I explained to her that there was no
2036resemblance between me and Philip II, and that I didn't have a single
2037Capuchin . . . I didn't go to the office . . . To hell with it! No friends,
2038you won't lure me there now; I'm not going to copy your vile papers!
2039
1542e678
FR
2040=head2 v5.15.4 - Steve Jobs
2041
6dab83b1 2042L<Announced on 2011-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/10/msg178412.html>
1542e678
FR
2043
2044A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they
2045don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions
2046without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of
2047the human experience, the better design we will have.
2048
2ee7da68 2049=head2 v5.15.3 - Oscar Wilde, From the preface to "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
607b15aa 2050
6dab83b1 2051L<Announced on 2011-09-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177427.html>
ca420de3 2052
4ed12d4a
SH
2053All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath
2054the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol
2055do so at their peril.
607b15aa 2056
4ed12d4a
SH
2057It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
2058Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the
2059work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the
2060artist is in accord with himself.
607b15aa 2061
4ed12d4a
SH
2062We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as
2063he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless
2064thing is that one admires it intensely.
607b15aa 2065
4ed12d4a 2066All art is quite useless.
607b15aa 2067
2ee7da68 2068=head2 v5.15.2 - Rainer Maria Rilke, trans., C. F. MacIntyre, "Duino", The First Elegy
bfb65171 2069
6dab83b1 2070L<Announced on 2011-08-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/08/msg176067.html>
bfb65171 2071
5814c912
RS
2072 True, it is strange to live no more on earth,
2073 no longer follow the folkways scarecely learned;
2074 not to give roses and other especially auspicious
2075 things the significance of a human future;
2076 to be no more what one was in infinitely anxious hands,
2077 and to put aside even one's name, like a broken plaything.
2078 Strange, to wish wishes no longer. Strange, to see
2079 all that was related fluttering so loosely in space.
2080 And being dead is hard, full of catching-up,
2081 so that finally one feels a little eternity.–
2082 But the living all make the mistake of too sharp discrimination.
2083 Often angels (it's said) don't know if they move
2084 among the quick or the dead. The eternal current
2085 hurtles all ages along with it forever
2086 through both realms and drowns their voices in both.
bfb65171 2087
1889cb12
Z
2088=head2 v5.15.1 - Greg Egan, "Permutation City"
2089
2ccefb8a 2090L<Announced on 2011-07-20 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/07/msg175014.html>
1889cb12
Z
2091
2092Carter held out a hand towards the middle of the room. `See that
2093fountain?' A ten-metre-wide marble wedding cake, topped with a
2094winged cherub wrestling a serpent, duly appeared. Water cascaded
2095down from a gushing wound in the cherub's neck. Carter said, `It's
2096being computed by redundancies in the sketch of the city. I can
2097extract the results, because I know exactly where to look for them --
2098but nobody else would have a hope in hell of picking them out.'
2099
2100Peer walked up to the fountain. Even as he approached, he noticed
2101that the spray was intangible; when he dipped his hand in the water
2102around the base he felt nothing, and the motion he made with his
2103fingers left the foaming surface unchanged. They were spying on
2104the calculations, not interacting with them; the fountain was a
2105closed system.
2106
2107Carter said, `In your case, of course, nobody will need to know
2108the results. Except you -- and you'll know them because you'll
2109/be/ them.'
2110
452ead5e
DG
2111=head2 v5.15.0 - Neil Gaiman, "The Graveyard Book"
2112
2113L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173748.html>
2114
4ed12d4a 2115If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.
452ead5e 2116
c682aa67 2117=head2 v5.14.4 - Arthur C. Clarke, "The Nine Billion Names of God"
b3c5102d 2118
c682aa67 2119L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg199988.html>
b3c5102d 2120
c682aa67
SH
2121He began to sing, but gave it up after a while. This vast arena of
2122mountains, gleaming like whitely hooded ghosts on every side, did not
2123encourage such ebullience. Presently George glanced at his watch.
2124
2125'Should be there in an hour,' he called back over his shoulder to
2126Chuck. Then he added, in an afterthought: 'Wonder if the computer's
2127finished its run. It was due about now.'
2128
2129Chuck didn't reply, so George swung round in his saddle. He could just
2130see Chuck's face, a white oval turned towards the sky.
2131
2132'Look,' whispered Chuck, and George lifted his eyes to heaven. (There
2133is always a last time for everything.)
2134
2135Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.
2136
2137=head2 v5.14.3 - William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
2138
2139L<Announced on 2012-10-12 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194057.html>
2140
2141 The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all
2142 this time there was not any man died in his own person,
2143 videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed
2144 out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die
2145 before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he
2146 would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned
2147 nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good
2148 youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and
2149 being taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish
2150 coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.' But these
2151 are all lies: men have died from time to time and worms have
2152 eaten them, but not for love.
2153
2154=head2 v5.14.2 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
2155
2156L<Announced on 2011-09-26 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177618.html>
2157
2158It's not so much that people don't value the programs after they have them--they
2159do value them. But they're not the sort of thing that would ever catch on if
2160they had to overcome the marketing barrier. (I don't yet know if perl will
2161catch on at all--I'm worried enough about it that I specifically included an
2162awk-to-perl translator just to help it catch on.) Maybe it's all just an
2163inferiority complex. Or maybe I don't like to be mercenary.
2164
2165So I guess I'd say that the reason some software comes free is that the
2166mechanism for selling it is missing, either from the work environment, or from
2167the heart of the programmer.
b3c5102d 2168
c684cf36 2169=head2 v5.14.1 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
901b3fdb
LB
2170
2171L<Announced on 2011-06-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173650.html>
2172
2173At this point I'm no longer working for a company that makes me sign
2174my life away, but by now I'm in the habit. Besides, I still harbor
2175the deep-down suspicion that nobody would pay money for what I write,
2176since most of it just helps you do something better that you could
2177already do some other way. How much money would you personally pay
2178to upgrade from readnews to rn? How much money would you pay for
2179the patch program? As for warp, it's a mere game. And anything you
2180can do with perl you can eventually do with an amazing and totally
2181unreadable conglomeration of awk, sed, sh and C.
2182
c684cf36 2183=head2 v5.14.0 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
8b55b028
ZA
2184
2185L<Announced on 2011-05-14 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172326.html>
2186
2187At the start of any project, I'm programming primarily to please
2188myself. (The two chief virtues in a programmer are laziness and
2189impatience.) After a while somebody looks over my shoulder and says,
2190"That's neat. It'd be neater if it did such-and-so." So the thing
2191gets neater. Pretty soon (a year or two) I have an rn, a warp, a patch,
2192or a perl. One of these years I'll have a metaconfig.
2193
2194I then say to myself, "I don't want my life's work to die when this
2195computer is scrapped, so I should let some other people use this. If I
2196ask my company to sell this, it'll never see the light of day, and nobody
2197would pay much for it anyway. If I sell it myself, I'll be in trouble with
2198my company, to whom I signed my life away when I was hired. If I give it
2199away, I can pretend it was worthless in the first place, so my company
2200won't care. In any event, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."
2201
2202So a freely distributable program is born.
2203
2204=head2 v5.14.0-RC3 - American Airlines Gate Agent, last call
2205
2206L<Announced on 2011-05-11 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172282.html>
2207
2208This is the last call for flight 1697 with service to Chicago and
2209continuing service to San Francisco. All passengers should already be
2210aboard. If you aren't aboard at this time, you will be denied boarding
2211and your bags will be offloaded.
2212
2ee7da68 2213=head2 v5.14.0-RC2 - Greg Grandin, "Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City"
8b55b028
ZA
2214
2215L<Announced on 2011-05-04 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg171879.html>
2216
2217Over the course of nearly two decades, Ford would spend tens of millions
2218of dollars founding not one but, after the plantation was defastated
2219by leaf blight, two American towns, complete with central squares,
2220sidewalks, indoor plumbing, hospitals, manicured lawns, movie theaters,
2221swimming pools, golf courses, and, of course, Model Ts and As rolling
2222down their paved streets.
2223
2224Back in America, newspapers kept up their drumbeat celebration, only
2225obliquely referencing reports that things were not progressing as the
2226company had hoped. But there was one note of skepticism. In late 1928,
2227the Washington Post ran an editorial that read in its entirety: "Ford will
2228govern a rubber plantation in Brazil larger than North Carolina. This is
2229the first time he has applied quantity production methods to trouble"
2230
2231=head2 v5.14.0-RC1 - Bill Bryson, "In a Sunburned Country"
2232
2233L<Announced on 2011-04-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/04/msg171253.html>
2234
2235But then Australia is such a difficult country to keep track of. On
2236my first visit, some years ago, I passed the time on the long flight
2237reading a history of Australian politics in the twentieth century,
2238wherein I encountered the startling fact that in 1967 the prime minister,
2239Harold Holt, was strolling along a beach in Victoria when he plunged into
2240the surf and vanished. No trace of the poor man was ever seen again.
b86ac955 2241This seemed doubly astounding to me—first that Australia could
8b55b028
ZA
2242just I<lose> a prime minister (I mean, come on) and second that news of
2243this had never reached me.
2244
2ee7da68 2245=head2 v5.13.11 - Walt Whitman, L<"Leaves of Grass"|http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaves_of_Grass>
04496198 2246
f3d08688 2247L<Announced on 2011-03-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/03/msg170206.html>
04496198
FR
2248
2249 When the full-grown poet came,
2250 Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all its
2251 shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;
2252 But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unreconciled,
2253 Nay he is mine alone;
2254 --Then the full-grown poet stood between the two, and took each
2255 by the hand;
c2a00619
KW
2256 And to-day and ever so stands, as blender, uniter, tightly
2257 holding hands,
04496198
FR
2258 Which he will never release until he reconciles the two,
2259 And wholly and joyously blends them.
2260
2ee7da68 2261=head2 v5.13.10 - Egill Skalla-Grímsson, L<"Egils saga Skalla-Grímssonar"|http://www.heimskringla.no/wiki/Egils_saga_Skalla-Gr%C3%ADmssonar>
f1e17f6f 2262
fbc70a9e 2263L<Announced on 2011-02-20 by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/02/msg169340.html>
30688243 2264
4ed12d4a
SH
2265 Skalat maðr rúnar rísta,
2266 nema ráða vel kunni.
2267 Þat verðr mörgum manni,
2268 es of myrkvan staf villisk.
2269 Sák á telgðu talkni
2270 tíu launstafi ristna.
2271 Þat hefr lauka lindi
2272 langs ofrtrega fengit.
30688243 2273
79af17bd
AB
2274=head2 v5.13.9 - John F Kennedy, L<Inaugural Address January 20, 1961|http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy%27s_Inaugural_Address>
2275
2276L<Announced on 2011-01-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168335.html>
2277
2278In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been
2279granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I
2280do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it. I do not believe
2281that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other
2282generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this
2283endeavor will light our country and all who serve it. And the glow from
2284that fire can truly light the world.
2285
2286And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
2287ask what you can do for your country.
2288
2289My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you,
2290but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
2291
2292Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world,
2293ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which
2294we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history
2295the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love,
2296asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's
2297work must truly be our own.
2298
94521723
Z
2299=head2 v5.13.8 - Roger Williams, L<"The Fifth Gift"|http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/8/19/21304/8493>
2300
2831a86c
ZA
2301L<Announced on 2010-12-19 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/12/msg167271.html>
2302
94521723
Z
2303The aliens called the box a "matter generator," but we'd be more inclined
2304to call it a matter duplicator. By connecting switches and potentiometers
2305between the copper posts it was possible to make the box mark off two
2306cubic rectangular areas of volume. Make a certain contact, and these
2307areas would be isolated within perfectly reflective fields. They could
2308be expanded or contracted by altering resistances between other posts.
2309As I worked out the user interface I built a little control panel for
2310the device. It was actually a clever way for the aliens to do things;
2311instead of trying to build controls we could use, they built us an
2312interface we could attach to controls that made sense to us. It could
2313also be automated.
2314
2315Once you had made the contact that established the shielded volumes,
2316if you made another certain contact the contents of the first volume
2317were copied to the second. The machine copied metal, plastic, steel,
2318and diamond with equal ease. Copies of copies of copies of copies were
2319indistinguishable from the originals at any magnification, even using
2320techniques like X-ray crystallography.
2321
2ee7da68 2322=head2 v5.13.7 - Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski, "The Matrix"
6b1649d0 2323
2831a86c
ZA
2324L<Announced on 2010-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/11/msg166162.html>
2325
6b1649d0
CBW
2326[Neo sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one]
2327
5814c912 2328 Neo: Whoa. Deja vu.
6b1649d0
CBW
2329
2330[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
2331
5814c912
RS
2332 Trinity: What did you just say?
2333 Neo: Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
2334 Trinity: What did you see?
2335 Cypher: What happened?
89550e55
RS
2336 Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just
2337 like it.
5814c912
RS
2338 Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
2339 Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure.
2340 Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
2341 Neo: What is it?
89550e55
RS
2342 Trinity: A deja vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when
2343 they change something.
6b1649d0 2344
54cc2c9a
TM
2345=head2 v5.13.6 - Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"
2346
2831a86c
ZA
2347L<Announced on 2010-10-20 by Tatsuhiko Miyagawa|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/10/msg165183.html>
2348
54cc2c9a
TM
2349The boy called Crow softly rests a hand on my shoulder, and with that
2350he storm vanishes.
2351
2352"From now on -- no matter what -- you've got to be the world's toughest
2353fifteen-year-old. That's the only way you're going to survive. And in order
2354to do that, you've got to figure out what it means to be tough. You following
2355me?"
2356
2357I keep my eyes closed and don't reply. I just want to sink off into sleep
2358like this, his hand on my shoulder. I hear the faint flutter of wings.
2359
2360"You're going to be the world's toughest fifteen-year-old," Crow whispers
2361as I try to fall asleep. Like he was carving the words in a deep blue tattoo
2362on my heart.
2363
2364(Translated from Japanese by Philip Gabriel)
2365
f6c56125
SH
2366=head2 v5.13.5 - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, "The Room in the Dragon Volant"
2367
2831a86c
ZA
2368L<Announced on 2010-09-19 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg164238.html>
2369
f6c56125
SH
2370Candle in hand I stepped in. I do not know whether the quality of
2371air, long undisturbed, is peculiar; to me it has always seemed so, and
2372the damp smell of the old masonry hung in this atmosphere. My candle
2373faintly lighted the bare stone wall that enclosed the stair, the foot
2374of which I could not see. Down I went, and a few turns brought me to
2375the stone floor. Here was another door, of the simple, old, oak kind,
2376deep sunk in the thickness of the wall. The large end of the key
2377fitted this. The lock was stiff; I set the candle down upon the
2378stair, and applied both hands; it turned with difficulty, and as it
2379revolved, uttered a shriek that alarmed me for my secret.
2380
2381For some minutes I did not move. In a little time, however, I took
2382courage, and opened the door. The night-air floating in puffed out
2383the candle. There was a thicket of holly and underwood, as dense as a
2384jungle, close about the door. I should have been in pitch-darkness,
2385were it not that through the topmost leaves there twinkled, here and
2386there, a glimmer of moonshine.
2387
2388Softly, lest any one should have opened his window at the sound of the
2389rusty bolt, I struggled through this till I gained a view of the open
2390grounds. Here I found that the brushwood spread a good way up the
2391park, uniting with the wood that approached the little temple I have
806849f8 2392described.
f6c56125 2393
fdea69f9
FR
2394=head2 v5.13.4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2395
2831a86c
ZA
2396L<Announced on 2010-08-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163150.html>
2397
fdea69f9
FR
2398`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice;
2399`I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat
2400it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
2401she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
2402
4ed12d4a
SH
2403 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
2404 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
2405 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
2406 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
fdea69f9
FR
2407
2408
2409`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.
2410
2411`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
2412nonsense.'
2413
2414Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
2415anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
2416
2417`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
2418
2419`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
2420
2421`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How could he turn them out
2422with his nose, you know?'
2423
2424`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
2425the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
2426
0feeb912
DG
2427=head2 v5.13.3 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"
2428
2831a86c
ZA
2429L<Announced on 2010-07-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/07/msg162230.html>
2430
0feeb912
DG
2431Look at Crowley, doing 110 mph on the M40 heading towards
2432Oxfordshire. Even the most resolutely casual observer would
2433notice a number of strange things about him. The clenched teeth,
2434for example, or the dull red glow coming from behind his
2435sunglasses. And the car. The car was a definite hint.
2436
2437Crowley had started the journey in his Bentley, and he was
2438dammned if he wasn't going to finish it in the Bentley as well.
2439Not that even the kind of car buff who owns his own pair of
2440motoring goggles would have been able to tell it was a vintage
2441Bentley. Not any more. They wouldn't have been able to tell
2442that it was a Bentley. They would only offer fifty-fifty that it
2443had ever even been a car.
2444
2445There was no paint left on it, for a start. It might still have
2446been black, where it wasn't a rusty, smudged reddish-brown, but
2447this was a dull charcoal black. It traveled in its own ball of
2448flame, like a space capsule making a particularly difficult
2449re-entry.
2450
2451There was a thin skin of crusted, melted rubber left around the
2452metal wheel rims, but seeing that the wheel rims were still
2453somhow riding an inch above the road surface this didn't seem to
2454make an awful lot of difference to the suspension.
2455
2456It should have fallen apart miles back.
2457
3c55f444
MT
2458=head2 v5.13.2 - Iain M Banks, "Use of Weapons"
2459
2831a86c
ZA
2460L<Announced on 2010-06-22 by Matt S Trout|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/06/msg161112.html>
2461
51caa79e
DG
2462We deal in the moral equivalent of black holes, where the normal laws -
2463the rules of right and wrong that people imagine apply everywhere else
2464in the universe - break down; beyond those metaphysical event-horizons,
3c55f444
MT
2465there exist ... special circumstances.
2466
2467=head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote"
d069c093 2468
2831a86c
ZA
2469L<Announced on 2010-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160275.html>
2470
d069c093
RS
2471And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct
2472bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail
2473yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out
2474with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even
2475if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build
2476bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in
2477quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough.
2478
c7bed260
Z
2479=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
2480
2481L<Announced on 2010-04-20 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg159275.html>
2482
2483The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
2484involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
2485when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
2486streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
2487road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
2488seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
2489smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
2490
2491"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
2492volcano were once more to set to work."
2493
c682aa67
SH
2494=head2 v5.12.5 - William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure"
2495
2496L<Announced on 2012-11-10 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195171.html>
2497
2498 Music oft hath such a charm
2499 To make bad good, and good provoke to harm.
2500
2501=head2 v5.12.4 - William Schwenck Gilbert, "Trial By Jury"
2502
2503L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173725.html>
2504
2505 You cannot eat breakfast all day,
2506 Nor is it the act of a sinner,
2507 When breakfast is taken away,
2508 To turn his attention to dinner;
2509 And it's not in the range of belief,
2510 To look upon him as a glutton,
2511 Who, when he is tired of beef,
2512 Determines to tackle the mutton.
2513 Ah! But this I am willing to say,
2514 If it will appease her sorrow,
2515 I'll marry this lady today,
2516 And I'll marry the other tomorrow!
2517
2518=head2 v5.12.4-RC2 - James Russell Lowell, "Eleanor makes macaroons"
2519
2520L<Announced on 2011-06-15 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173609.html>
2521
2522 Now for sugar, -- nay, our plan
2523 Tolerates no work of man.
2524 Hurry, then, ye golden bees;
2525 Fetch your clearest honey, please,
2526 Garnered on a Yorkshire moor,
2527 While the last larks sing and soar,
2528 From the heather-blossoms sweet
2529 Where sea-breeze and sunshine meet,
2530 And the Augusts mask as Junes, --
2531 Eleanor makes macaroons!
2532
2533=head2 v5.12.4-RC1 - Ogden Nash, "The Clean Plater"
2534
2535L<Announced on 2011-06-08 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173352.html>
2536
2537 Pheasant is pleasant, of course,
2538 And terrapin, too, is tasty,
2539 Lobster I freely endorse,
2540 In pate or patty or pasty.
2541 But there's nothing the matter with butter,
2542 And nothing the matter with jam,
2543 And the warmest greetings I utter
2544 To the ham and the yam and the clam.
2545 For they're food,
2546 All food,
2547 And I think very fondly of food.
2548 Through I'm broody at times
2549 When bothered by rhymes,
2550 I brood
2551 On food.
2552
c7bed260
Z
2553=head2 v5.12.3 - Howard W. Campbell, Jr., "Reflections on Not Participating in Current Events"
2554
2555L<Announced on 2011-01-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168368.html>
2556
2557 I saw a huge steam roller,
2558 It blotted out the sun.
2559 The people all lay down, lay down;
2560 They did not try to run.
2561 My love and I, we looked amazed
2562 Upon the gory mystery.
2563 'Lie down, lie down!' the people cried.
2564 'The great machine is history!'
2565 My love and I, we ran away,
2566 The engine did not find us.
2567 We ran up to a mountain top,
2568 Left history far behind us.
2569 Perhaps we should have stayed and died,
2570 But somehow we don't think so.
2571 We went to see where history'd been,
2572 And my, the dead did stink so.
2573
2574=head2 v5.12.2 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
2575
2576L<Announced on 2010-09-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg163852.html>
2577
2578CPUs. Cayce Pollard Units. That's what Damien calls the clothing
2579she wears. CPUs are either black, white, or gray, and ideally
2580seem to have come into this world without human intervention.
2581
2582What people take for relentless minimalism is a side effect
2583of too much exposure to the reactor-cores of fashion. This
2584has resulted in a remorseless paring-down of what she can and
2585will wear. She is, literally, allergic to fashion. She can
2586only tolerate things that could have been worn, to a general
2587lack of comment, during any year between 1945 and 2000. She's a
2588design-free zone, a one-woman school of and whose very austerity
2589periodically threatens to spawn its own cult.
2590
2591=head2 v5.12.2-RC1 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
2592
2593L<Announced on 2010-08-31 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163670.html>
2594
2595The front page opens, familiar as a friend's living room. A frame-grab
2596from #48 serves as backdrop, dim and almost monochrome, no characters in
2597view. This is one of the sequences that generate comparisons with
2598Tarkovsky. She only knows Tarkovsky from stills, really, though she did
2599once fall asleep during a screening of The Stalker, going under on an
2600endless pan, the camera aimed straight down, in close-up, at a puddle on
2601a ruined mosaic floor. But she is not one of those who think that much
2602will be gained by analysis of the maker's imagined influences. The cult
2603of the footage is rife with subcults, claiming every possible influence.
2604Truffaut, Peckinpah -- The Peckinpah people, among the least likely, are
2605still waiting for the guns to be drawn.
2606
4363636d
DG
2607=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2608
2831a86c
ZA
2609L<Announced on 2010-05-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160109.html>
2610
4363636d
DG
2611"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
2612many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
d517a16a
Z
2613Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs --
2614what we might call ice-one -- is only one of several types of ice.
4363636d
DG
2615Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
2616had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
2617...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
d517a16a
Z
2618"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- a crystal as
2619hard as this desk -- with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
4363636d
DG
2620degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
2621and-thirty degrees."
2622
4363636d
DG
2623=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2624
2831a86c
ZA
2625L<Announced on 2010-05-13 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160066.html>
2626
4363636d
DG
2627San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
2628the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
2629hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
2630of the Free World."
2631
2632Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
2633level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
2634harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
2635exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
2636
2831a86c
ZA
2637=head2 v5.12.1-RC1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2638
2639L<Announced on 2010-05-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg159971.html>
4363636d 2640
4363636d
DG
2641Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
2642the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
2643just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
2644a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
2645it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
2646of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
2647common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
2648bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
2649
4ed12d4a
SH
2650 Around and around and around we spin,
2651 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
4363636d 2652
4363636d
DG
2653=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2654
2831a86c
ZA
2655L<Announced on 2010-04-12 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158820.html>
2656
4363636d
DG
2657'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
2658not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
2659your cat grins like that?'
2660
2661'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
2662
2663She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
2664jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
2665and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
2666
2667'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
2668that cats COULD grin.'
2669
2670'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
2671
4363636d
DG
2672=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2673
2831a86c
ZA
2674L<Announced on 2010-04-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158720.html>
2675
4363636d
DG
2676'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
2677have got altered.'
2678
2679'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
2680there was silence for some minutes.
2681
4363636d
DG
2682=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2683
2831a86c
ZA
2684L<Announced on 2010-04-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158567.html>
2685
4363636d
DG
2686'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
2687always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
2688rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
2689yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
2690can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
2691kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
2692
4363636d
DG
2693=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2694
2831a86c
ZA
2695L<Announced on 2010-04-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158346.html>
2696
4363636d
DG
2697At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
2698called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
2699dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
2700in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
2701sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
2702
2703'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
2704is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
2705the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
2706to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
2707accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
d517a16a 2708Mercia and Northumbria --"'
4363636d 2709
2831a86c 2710=head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no announcement
4363636d 2711
2831a86c 2712Available on CPAN since 2010-04-01.
4363636d 2713
3e340399 2714=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
4363636d 2715
2831a86c
ZA
2716L<Announced on 2010-03-29 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg158060.html>
2717
4363636d
DG
2718So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
2719hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
2720making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
2721picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
2722close by her.
2723
2724There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
2725VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
2726dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
2727occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
2728it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
2729OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
2730Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
2731never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
2732take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
2733after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
2734rabbit-hole under the hedge.
2735
2736In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
2737in the world she was to get out again.
2738
0e6b8110 2739=head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph
4363636d 2740
2831a86c 2741L<Announced on 2020-03-21 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg157761.html>
4363636d 2742
3e340399 2743=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
4363636d 2744
2831a86c
ZA
2745L<Announced on 2010-02-21 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/02/msg156957.html>
2746
4ed12d4a
SH
2747 A little child, a limber elf,
2748 Singing, dancing to itself,
2749 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
2750 That always finds, and never seeks,
2751 Makes such a vision to the sight
2752 As fills a father's eyes with light;
2753 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
2754 Upon his heart, that he at last
2755 Must needs express his love's excess
2756 With words of unmeant bitterness.
2757 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
2758 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
2759 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
2760 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
2761 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
2762 At each wild word to feel within
2763 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
2764 And what, if in a world of sin
2765 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
2766 Such giddiness of heart and brain
2767 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
2768 So talks as it's most used to do.
4363636d 2769
4363636d
DG
2770=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
2771
2831a86c
ZA
2772L<Announced on 2010-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/01/msg155848.html>
2773
4363636d
DG
2774And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
2775into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
2776mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
2777question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
2778hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
2779louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
2780who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
2781worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
2782done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
2783
4363636d
DG
2784=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
2785
2831a86c
ZA
2786L<Announced on 2009-12-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/12/msg154838.html>
2787
4363636d 2788"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
d517a16a 2789course you'd druther work -- wouldn't you? Course you would!"
4363636d
DG
2790
2791Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
2792
2793"Why ain't that work?"
2794
2795Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
2796is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
2797
2798"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
2799
2800The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
2801to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
2802
2803That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
2804swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
2805-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
2806watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
2807absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
2808
4363636d
DG
2809=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
2810
f0ccce9b 2811L<Announced on 2009-11-20 by Léon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/11/msg153646.html>
2831a86c 2812
4363636d
DG
2813The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
2814at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
2815streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
2816the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
2817live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
2818colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
2819as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
2820wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
2821prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
2822however much they're into colour.
2823
4363636d
DG
2824=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
2825
2831a86c
ZA
2826L<Announced on 2009-10-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg152360.html>
2827
4363636d
DG
2828Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
2829and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
2830word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
2831disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
2832everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
2833on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
2834that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
2835glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
b10ee209 2836war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Milo
4363636d
DG
2837presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
2838for more hazardous assignment.
2839
4363636d
DG
2840=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
2841
2831a86c
ZA
2842L<Announced on 2009-10-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg151376.html>
2843
4363636d
DG
2844Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
2845streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
2846trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
2847to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
2848about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
2849of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
2850facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
2851explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
2852Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
2853people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
2854work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
2855their art.
2856
4363636d
DG
2857=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2858
dd047fac 2859L<Announced on 2009-08-23 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150172.html>
2831a86c 2860
4363636d
DG
2861'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
2862the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
2863Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
2864Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
2865responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
2866Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
2867Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
2868Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
2869Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
2870Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
2871
2872'Can they all type?' I joked.
2873
2874'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
2875McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
2876
2877I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
2878'We could have opened an agency.'
2879
2880Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
2881Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
2882amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
2883all say that, do they?' I ventured.
2884
2885Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
2886replied. 'Not quite all.'
2887
0e6b8110 2888=head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph
4363636d 2889
2831a86c 2890L<Announced on 2009-08-18 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150015.html>
3e340399 2891
0e6b8110 2892=head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph
4363636d 2893
2831a86c 2894L<Announced on 2009-08-06 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg149498.html>
3e340399 2895
c7bed260 2896=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
4363636d 2897
c7bed260
Z
2898L<Announced on 2007-12-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/12/msg131636.html>
2899
2900He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
2901he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
2902out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
2903noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
2904must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
2905number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
2906did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
2907
2908=head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph
2909
2910L<Announced on 2007-11-25 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130978.html>
2911
2912=head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph
2913
2914L<Announced on 2007-11-17 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130653.html>
2915
2916=head2 v5.9.5 - no announcement
2917
2918L<Pre-announced on 2007-07-07 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/07/msg126358.html>,
2919available on CPAN with same date, but never actually announced.
2920
2921=head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph
2922
2923L<Announced on 2006-08-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/08/msg115782.html>
2924
2925=head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph
2926
2927L<Announced on 2006-01-28 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109086.html>
2928
2929=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
2930
f3d08688 2931L<Announced on 2005-04-01 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/04/msg99421.html>
c7bed260
Z
2932
2933This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
2934gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
2935technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
2936about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
2937bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
2938paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
2939in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
2940electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
2941picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
2942to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
2943technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
2944getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
2945sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
2946it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
2947conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
2948
2949"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
2950that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
2951`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
2952
2953"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
2954one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
2955flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
2956everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
2957make you flip?
2958
2959=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
2960
f3d08688 2961L<Announced on 2004-03-16 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89722.html>
c7bed260
Z
2962
2963Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
2964
2965=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
2966
f3d08688 2967L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84147.html>
c7bed260
Z
2968
2969What of October, that ambiguous month
4363636d 2970
4363636d
DG
2971=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2972
2831a86c
ZA
2973L<Announced on 2008-12-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142571.html>
2974
4363636d
DG
2975Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
2976proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
2977the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
2978anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
2979how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
2980
2981'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
2982
2983This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
2984that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
2985
2986'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
2987expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
2988anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
2989sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
2990
2991This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
2992basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
2993policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
2994disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
2995the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
2996Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
2997and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
2998Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
2999
3000In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
3001reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
3002
3003I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
3004Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
3005for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
3006had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
3007work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
3008the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
3009left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
3010pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
3011the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
3012the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
3013
3014I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
3015publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
3016Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
3017
3018So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
3019pushing to increase the membership?
3020
3021'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
3022more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
3023futile and impotent it becomes.'
3024
3025This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
3026
3027Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
3028diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
3029
4363636d
DG
3030=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
3031
dd047fac 3032L<Announced on 2008-12-06 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142422.html>
2831a86c 3033
4363636d
DG
3034There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
3035about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
3036four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
3037anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
3038thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
3039
3040Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
3041and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
3042press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
3043obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
3044produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
3045this draft...'
3046
3047I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
3048hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
3049incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
3050
3051'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
3052redundancy payments as well.'
3053
3054'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
3055it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
3056
3057'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
3058
4363636d
DG
3059=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
3060
2831a86c
ZA
3061L<Announced on 2008-11-10 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/11/msg141515.html>
3062
4363636d
DG
3063A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
3064was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
3065and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
3066jets and all.
3067
3068I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
3069
3070I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
3071Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
3072specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
3073the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
3074jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
3075grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
3076in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
3077
3078While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
3079taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
3080me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
3081sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
3082three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
3083plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
3084occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
3085were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
3086
3087And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
3088were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
3089
3090Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
3091name like Charlie Umtali?
3092
3093I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
3094know something about our official visitor.
3095
3096Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
3097has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
3098car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
3099to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
3100knew little of his background.
3101
3102I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
3103Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
3104first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
3105
3106Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
3107
3108'Why?' I enquired.
3109
3110'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
3111to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
3112never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
3113
3114Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
3115that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
3116
3117In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
3118where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
3119revolving door and comes out in front.'
3120
3121'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
3122
3123'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
3124
3125'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
3126
4363636d
DG
3127=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
3128
f3d08688 3129L<Announced on 2006-01-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109190.html>
2831a86c 3130
4ed12d4a
SH
3131 It's not that easy bein' green
3132 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
3133 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
3134 Or something much more colorful like that
51caa79e 3135
4ed12d4a
SH
3136 It's not easy bein' green
3137 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
3138 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
3139 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
3140 Or stars in the sky
51caa79e 3141
4ed12d4a
SH
3142 But green's the color of Spring
3143 And green can be cool and friendly-like
3144 And green can be big like an ocean
3145 Or important like a mountain
3146 Or tall like a tree
4363636d 3147
4ed12d4a
SH
3148 When green is all there is to be
3149 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
3150 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
3151 And I think it's what I want to be
4363636d 3152
4363636d
DG
3153=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
3154
f3d08688 3155L<Announced on 2006-01-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg108833.html>
2831a86c 3156
4ed12d4a 3157 Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
51caa79e 3158
4ed12d4a 3159 Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
4363636d 3160
4363636d
DG
3161=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
3162
f3d08688 3163L<Announced on 2005-05-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg101088.html>
2831a86c 3164
4363636d
DG
3165And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
3166hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
3167cat.
3168
3169Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
51caa79e 3170the wolf? What then?"
4363636d 3171
4363636d
DG
3172=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
3173
2831a86c
ZA
3174L<Announced on 2005-05-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg100711.html>
3175
4363636d
DG
3176And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
3177bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
3178round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
3179
3180In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
3181gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
3182climbed up the high stone wall.
3183
3184One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
3185stretched out over the wall.
3186
3187Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
3188Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
3189take care that he doesn't catch you!".
3190
3191The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
3192snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
3193
3194How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
51caa79e 3195the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
4363636d 3196
4363636d
DG
3197=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
3198
f3d08688 3199L<Announced on 2004-11-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg96304.html>
2831a86c 3200
4363636d 3201"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
51caa79e 3202you."
4363636d 3203
51caa79e 3204"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
4363636d
DG
3205
3206"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
3207and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
51caa79e 3208to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
4363636d 3209
51caa79e 3210"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
4363636d
DG
3211
3212"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
3213planting it."
3214
3215"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
51caa79e 3216grow up into a beehive."
4363636d 3217
51caa79e 3218Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
4363636d
DG
3219
3220"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
3221Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
51caa79e 3222wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
4363636d 3223
51caa79e 3224Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
4363636d
DG
3225
3226"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
3227how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
51caa79e 3228and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
4363636d 3229
4363636d
DG
3230=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
3231
2831a86c
ZA
3232L<Announced on 2004-11-11 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg95786.html>
3233
4363636d
DG
3234"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
3235
3236"Hunting," said Pooh.
3237
3238"Hunting what?"
3239
3240"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
3241
3242"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
3243
3244"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
3245
3246"What do you think you'll answer?"
3247
3248"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
3249"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
3250you see there?"
3251
3252"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
3253excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
3254
4363636d
DG
3255=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
3256
f3d08688 3257L<Announced on 2004-07-19 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg93189.html>
2831a86c 3258
4363636d
DG
3259Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
3260ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
3261bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
3262waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
3263droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
3264hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
3265longbow.
3266
3267In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
3268often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
3269placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
3270likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
3271may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
3272Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
3273Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
3274farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
3275grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
51caa79e 3276T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
4363636d 3277
4363636d
DG
3278=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
3279
f3d08688 3280L<Announced on 2004-07-09 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92934.html>
2831a86c 3281
4363636d
DG
3282Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
3283ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
3284sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
3285pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
3286shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
3287
3288The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
3289Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
51caa79e 3290Caledonia and South America.
4363636d 3291
4363636d
DG
3292=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
3293
f3d08688 3294L<Announced on 2004-07-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92840.html>
2831a86c 3295
4363636d
DG
3296The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
3297often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
3298large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
3299and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
3300spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
3301year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
3302may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
3303
3304It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
3305branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
3306of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
3307that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
3308
3309Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
3310other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
3311acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
3312mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
3313
3314It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
51caa79e 3315heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
4363636d 3316
4363636d
DG
3317=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
3318
f3d08688 3319L<Announced on 2004-04-22 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90984.html>
2831a86c 3320
4363636d
DG
3321 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
3322 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
3323 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
3324 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
3325
3326 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
3327 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
3328 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
3329 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
3330 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
3331 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
3332 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
3333 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
3334
4363636d
DG
3335 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
3336 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
3337
4363636d
DG
3338
3339=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
3340
f3d08688 3341L<Announced on 2004-04-16 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90796.html>
2831a86c 3342
4363636d
DG
3343 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
3344 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
3345 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
3346 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
3347
3348 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
3349 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
3350 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
3351 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
3352 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
3353 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!
3354
4363636d
DG
3355=head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
3356
f3d08688 3357L<Announced on 2004-04-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90422.html>
2831a86c 3358
4363636d
DG
3359 There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
3360 When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
3361 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
3362 We must find him of the train can't start.'
3363 All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
3364 They are searching high and low,
3365 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
3366 Then the Night Mail just can't go'
3367 At 11.42 then the signal's overdue
3368 And the passengers are frantic to a man--
3369 Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear:
3370 He's been busy in the luggage van!
3371 He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
c5fb089a 3372 And the signal goes 'All Clear!'
4363636d
DG
3373 And we're off at last of the northern part
3374 Of the Northern Hemisphere!
3375
4363636d
DG
3376=head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode"
3377
f3d08688 3378L<Announced on 2004-01-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/01/msg87317.html>
2831a86c 3379
51caa79e
DG
3380 We are the music makers,
3381 And we are the dreamers of dreams,
3382 Wandering by lonely sea-breakers,
3383 And sitting by desolate streams; --
3384 World-losers and world-forsakers,
3385 On whom the pale moon gleams:
3386 Yet we are the movers and shakers
3387 Of the world for ever, it seems.
4363636d 3388
4363636d
DG
3389=head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance"
3390
f3d08688 3391L<Announced on 2004-01-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/01/msg86969.html>
2831a86c 3392
4363636d
DG
3393 There may be trouble ahead,
3394 But while there's music and moonlight,
3395 And love and romance,
3396 Let's face the music and dance.
3397
3398 Before the fiddlers have fled,
3399 Before they ask us to pay the bill,
3400 And while we still have that chance,
3401 Let's face the music and dance.
3402
3403 Soon, we'll be without the moon,
3404 Humming a different tune, and then,
3405
3406 There may be teardrops to shed,
3407 So while there's music and moonlight,
3408 And love and romance,
3409 Let's face the music and dance.
3410
4363636d
DG
3411=head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"
3412
f3d08688 3413L<Announced on 2003-11-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84822.html>
2831a86c 3414
4363636d
DG
3415 Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins!
3416 Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
3417 Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail!
3418 Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
3419 Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
3420 Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough?
3421
4363636d
DG
3422 Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
3423 Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me,
3424 For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
3425 And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
3426
3427 O my brave soul!
3428 O farther farther sail!
3429 O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God?
3430 O farther, farther, farther sail!
3431
2ee7da68 3432=head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle and John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty"
4363636d 3433
f3d08688 3434L<Announced on 2003-11-03 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84645.html>
2831a86c 3435
4363636d
DG
3436 It's fun to charter an accountant
3437 And sail the wide accountan-cy,
3438 To find, explore the funds offshore
3439 And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
3440
4363636d
DG
3441=head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies"
3442
f3d08688 3443L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84194.html>
2831a86c 3444
4363636d
DG
3445 They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
3446 In a Sieve they went to sea:
3447 In spite of all their friends could say,
3448 On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
3449 In a Sieve they went to sea!
3450 And when the Sieve turned round and round,
3451 And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
3452 They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big,
3453 But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig!
3454 In a Sieve we'll go to sea!"
3455
3456 Far and few, far and few,
3457 Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
3458 Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
3459 And they went to sea in a Sieve.
3460
2831a86c
ZA
3461=head2 v5.8.1 - epigraph same as v5.7.1
3462
3463L<Announced on 2003-09-25 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82678.html>
3464
3465=head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"
3466
3467L<Announced on 2003-09-22 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82476.html>
3468
3469No matter what she did with her hair it took about
3470three minutes for it to tangle itself up again,
3471like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which,
3472no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil
3473overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
3474
3475=head2 v5.8.1-RC4 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3476
3477L<Announced on 2003-08-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/08/msg79184.html>
3478
3479Grand Viziers were /always/ scheming megalomaniacs.
3480It was probably in the job description: "Are you a
3481devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good,
3482then you can be my most trusted minister."
3483
3484=head2 v5.8.1-RC3 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3485
3486L<Announced on 2003-07-30 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg79048.html>
3487
3488Lord Hong had a mind like a knife, although possibly
3489a knife with a curved blade.
3490
3491=head2 v5.8.1-RC2 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3492
3493L<Announced on 2003-07-11 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78102.html>
3494
3495Many an ancient lord's last words had been, "You can't kill
3496me because I've got magic aaargh."
3497
3498=head2 v5.8.1-RC1 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
3499
3500L<Announced on 2003-07-10 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78009.html>
3501
3502Cohen was familiar with city gates. He'd broken down a number
3503in his time, by battering ram, siege gun, and on one occasion
3504with his head.
3505
3506But the gates of Hunghung were pretty damn good gates. They
3507weren't like the gates of Ankh-Morpork, which were usually wide
3508open to attract the spending customer and whose concession to
3509defense was the sign "Thank You For Not Attacking Our City.
3510Bonum Diem." These things were big and made of metal and there
3511was a guardhouse and a squad of unhelpful men in black armor.
3512
2831a86c
ZA
3513=head2 v5.8.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
3514
3515L<Announced on 2002-07-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63720.html>
3516
3517There was the faint sound of footsteps.
3518"Chap with a whip got as far as the big sharp spikes last week,"
3519said the low priest.
3520There was a sound like the flushing of a very old dry lavatory.
3521The footsteps stopped. The High Priest smiled to himself.
3522"Right," he said. "See your two pebbles and raise you two pebbles."
3523The low priest threw down his cards. "Double Onion," he said.
3524The High Priest looked down suspiciously.
3525The low priest consulted a scrap of paper. "That's three hundred
3526thousand, nine hundred and sixty-four pebbles you owe me," he said.
3527There was the sound of footsteps. The priests exchanged glances.
3528"Haven't had one for poisoned-dart alley for quite some time,"
3529said the High Priest.
3530"Five says he makes it", said the low priest. "You're on."
3531There was a faint clatter of metal points on stone.
3532"It's a shame to take your pebbles."
3533There were footsteps again.
3534
3535=head2 v5.8.0-RC3 - no epigraph
3536
3537L<Announced on 2002-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63234.html>
3538
3539=head2 v5.8.0-RC2 - no epigraph
3540
3541L<Announced on 2002-06-21 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg62013.html>
3542
3543=head2 v5.8.0-RC1 - no epigraph
3544
3545L<Announced on 2002-06-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg60317.html>
3546
3547=head2 v5.7.3 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
3548
3549L<Announced on 2002-03-04 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/03/msg53652.html>
3550
3551Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong.
3552No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always
3553got there first, and is waiting for it.
3554
3555=head2 v5.7.2 - Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods"
3556
3557L<Announced on 2001-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/07/msg40370.html>
3558
3559His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools --
3560the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up
3561all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any
3562bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing
3563you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
3564
3565=head2 v5.7.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
3566
dd047fac 3567L<Announced on 2001-04-09 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33851.html>
4363636d 3568
4363636d
DG
3569"What happens next?" asked Twoflower.
3570
3571Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently.
3572
3573"Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be
3574flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple
3575arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders
3576and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then
3577I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then
3578I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl
3579will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll
3580liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure."
3581Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the
3582ceiling, whistling tunelessly.
3583
3584"All that?" said Twoflower.
3585
3586"Usually."
3587
c7bed260
Z
3588=head2 v5.7.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Moving Pictures"
3589
3590L<Announced on 2000-09-02 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/09/msg17730.html>
3591
3592The Librarian had seen many weird things in his time,
3593but that had to be the 57th strangest.
3594[footnote: he had a tidy mind]
3595
2ee7da68 3596=head2 v5.6.2 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
c7bed260 3597
f3d08688 3598L<Announced on 2003-11-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg85222.html>
c7bed260
Z
3599
3600When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this
3601sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of
3602a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see
3603what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not
3604long in this instance.
3605
2ee7da68 3606=head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
c7bed260 3607
f3d08688 3608L<Announced on 2003-11-08 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84953.html>
c7bed260
Z
3609
3610"Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?"
3611
2831a86c 3612=head2 v5.6.1 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", Riddles in the Dark
4363636d 3613
2831a86c 3614L<Announced on 2001-04-08 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33823.html>
4363636d 3615
2831a86c
ZA
3616`What have I got in my pocket?' he said aloud. He was talking to
3617himself, but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully
3618upset.
4363636d 3619
2831a86c
ZA
3620`Not fair! not fair!' he hissed. `It isn't fair, my precious, is it,
3621to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?'
4363636d 3622
2831a86c
ZA
3623Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask
3624stuck to his question, `What have I got in my pocket?' he said
3625louder.
4363636d 3626
2831a86c
ZA
3627`S-s-s-s-s,' hissed Gollum. `It must give us three guesseses,
3628my precious, three guesseses.'
4363636d 3629
2831a86c 3630=head2 v5.6.1-foolish - no epigraph
4363636d 3631
dd047fac 3632L<Announced on 2001-04-01 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33421.html>
3e340399 3633
2831a86c 3634=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL3 - I can't find the announcement
4363636d 3635
a4b0381d
MS
3636No announcement available.
3637
2831a86c 3638=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL2 - no epigraph
4363636d 3639
2831a86c 3640L<Announced on 2001-01-31 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/01/msg29934.html>
4363636d 3641
2831a86c 3642=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL1 - no epigraph
4363636d 3643
2831a86c 3644L<Announced on 2000-12-18 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/12/msg27738.html>
4363636d 3645
2831a86c 3646=head2 v5.6.0 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", The Last Stage
a4b0381d 3647
2831a86c
ZA
3648L<Announced on 2000-03-23 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10341.html>
3649
4ed12d4a
SH
3650 The dragon is withered,
3651 His bones are now crumbled;
3652 His armour is shivered,
3653 His splendour is humbled!
3654 Though sword shall be rusted,
3655 And throne and crown perish
3656 With strength that men trusted
3657 And wealth that they cherish,
3658 Here grass is still growing,
3659 And leaves are a yet swinging,
3660 The white water flowing,
3661 And elves are yet singing
3662 Come! Tra-la-la-lally!
3663 Come back to the valley.
2831a86c 3664
2831a86c
ZA
3665=head2 v5.6.0-RC3 - no epigraph
3666
3667L<Announced on 2000-03-22 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10140.html>
4363636d 3668
c7bed260
Z
3669=head2 v5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph
3670
3671L<Announced on 2009-02-16 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/02/msg144227.html>
3672
3673=head2 v5.005_04 - no epigraph
3674
f3d08688 3675L<Announced on 2004-03-01 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89047.html>
c7bed260
Z
3676
3677=head2 v5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"
3678
f3d08688 3679L<Announced on 2004-02-19 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/02/msg88672.html>
c7bed260
Z
3680
3681The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise
3682the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they
3683never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use
3684them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council
3685chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would
3686run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster
3687and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them,
3688and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up
3689and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake
3690the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers
3691fall.
3692
3693=head2 v5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3694
f3d08688 3695L<Announced on 2004-02-05 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/02/msg88312.html>
c7bed260
Z
3696
3697Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
3698plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
3699going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
3700she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked
3701at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
3702cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
3703hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she
3704passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
3705disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
3706of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
3707she fell past it.
3708
3709=head2 v1.0_16 - Johan Vromans, extemporarily
3710
f3d08688
SH
3711L<Announced on 2003-12-18 by Richard Clamp|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/12/msg86423.html>
3712
3713 't was 16 years ago today
3714 Larry taught us a new game
3715 of lazyness, impatience, and hubris
3716 Happy birthday, Perl!
c7bed260 3717
4363636d
DG
3718=head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
3719
0e6b8110 3720This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs
4363636d
DG
3721on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled
3722L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406>
3723by ysth.
3724
3725=cut
3e340399 3726
4363636d 3727# vim:tw=72: