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Add epigraph for 5.20.3-RC1
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3=head1 NAME
4
0e6b8110 5perlepigraphs - list of Perl release epigraphs
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6
7=head1 DESCRIPTION
8
0e6b8110 9Many Perl release announcements included an I<epigraph>, a short excerpt
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10from a literary or other creative work, chosen by the pumpking or release
11manager. This file assembles the known list of epigraph for posterity,
12and also links to the release announcements in mailing list archives.
4363636d 13
de6a5728 14I<Note>: these have also been referred to as I<epigrams>, but the
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15definition of I<epigraph> is closer to the way they have been used.
16Consult your favorite dictionary for details.
17
18=head1 EPIGRAPHS
4363636d 19
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20=head2 v5.23.2 - Blind Guardian, "Skalds and Shadows"
21
68ad2faa 22L<Announced on 2015-08-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://TBD>
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23
24 Would you believe in a night like this
25 A night like this, when visions come true
26 Would you believe in a tale like this
27 A lay of bliss, praise in the old lore
28 Come to the blazing fire and
29
30 See me in the shadows
31 See me in the shadows
32 Songs I will sing
33 Of runes and rings
34 Just hand me my harp
35 This night turns into myth
36 Nothing seems real
37 You soon will feel
38 The world we live in is another skald's
39 Dream in the shadows
40 Dream in the shadows
41
42 Do you believe there is sense in it
43 Is it truth or myth?
44 They´re one in my rhymes
45 Nobody knows the meaning behind
46 The weaver's line
47 Well nobody else but the Norns can
48 See through the blazing fires of time and
49 All things will proceed as the
50 Child of the hallowed
51 Will speak to you now
52
53 See me in the shadows
54 See me in the shadows
55 Songs I will sing of tribes and kings
56 The carrion bird and the hall of the slain
57 Nothing seems real
58 You soon will feel
59 The world we live in is another skald´s
60 Dream in the shadows
61 Dream in the shadows
62
63 Do not fear for my reason
64 There's nothing to hide
65 How bitter your treason
66 How bitter the lie
67 Remember the runes and remember the light
68 All I ever want is to be at your side
69 We'll gladden the raven now I will
70 Run through the blazing fires
71 That's my choice
72 Cause things shall proceed as foreseen
73
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74=head2 v5.23.1 - Elizabeth Haydon, "The Assassin King"
75
76L<Announced on 2015-07-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/07/msg229413.html>
77
78 I was born beneath this willow,
79 Where my sire the earth did farm
80 Had the green grass as my pillow
81 The east wind as a blanket warm.
82
83 But away! away! called the wind from the west
84 And in answer I did run
85 Seeking glory and adventure
86 Promised by the rising sun.
87
88 I found love beneath this willow,
89 As true a love as life could hold,
90 Pledged my heart and swore my fealty
91 Sealed with a kiss and a band of gold.
92
93 But to arms! to arms! called the wind from the west
94 In faithful answer I did run
95 Marching forth for king and country
96 In battles 'neath the midday sun.
97
98 Oft I dreamt of that fair willow
99 As the seven seas I plied
100 And the girl who I left waiting
101 Longing to be at her side.
102
103 But about! about! called the wind from the west
104 As once again my ship did run
105 Down the coast, about the wide world
106 Flying sails in the setting sun.
107
108 Now I lie beneath the willow
109 Now at last no more to roam,
110 My bride and earth so tightly hold me
111 In their arms I'm finally home.
112
113 While away! away! calls the wind from the west
114 Beyond the grave my spirit, free
115 Will chase the sun into the morning
116 Beyond the sky, beyond the sea.
117
118=head2 v5.23.0 - Bob Dylan, Maggie's Farm
119
120L<Announced on 2015-06-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228807.html>
121
122 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
123 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
124 Well, I try my best
125 To be just like I am
126 But everybody wants you
127 To be just like them
128 They sing while you slave and I just get bored
129 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
130
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131=head2 v5.22.0 - Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
132
133L<Announced on 2015-06-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/06/msg228300.html>
134
135“You are the advocate of the dead.”
136
137The old man nodded. “I am. People talk about being fair to this one and
138that one, but nobody I ever heard talks about doing right by them. We
139take everything they had, which is all right. And spit, most often, on
140their opinions, which I suppose is all right too. But we ought to
141remember now and then how much of what we have we got from them. I
142figure while I’m still here I ought to put a word in for them.”
143
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144=head2 v5.22.0-RC2 - T.S. Eliot, unpublished work
145
146L<Announced on 2015-05-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228142.html>
147
148 And when thyself with silver foot shall pass
149 Among the theories scattered on the grass
150 Take up my good intentions with the rest
151
152=head2 v5.22.0-RC1 - Gene Wolfe, Citadel of the Autarch
153
154L<Announced on 2015-05-19 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/05/msg228059.html>
155
156There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by
157its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity.
158
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159=head2 v5.21.11 - Algernon Charles Swinburne, "Dolores (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs)"
160
161L<Announced on 2015-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/04/msg227472.html>
162
163 They shall pass and their places be taken,
164 The gods and the priests that are pure.
165 They shall pass, and shalt thou not be shaken?
166 They shall perish, and shalt thou endure?
167 Death laughs, breathing close and relentless
168 In the nostrils and eyelids of lust,
169 With a pinch in his fingers of scentless
170 And delicate dust.
171
172 But the worm shall revive thee with kisses;
173 Thou shalt change and transmute as a god,
174 As the rod to a serpent that hisses,
175 As the serpent again to a rod.
176 Thy life shall not cease though thou doff it;
177 Thou shalt live until evil be slain,
178 And good shall die first, said thy prophet,
179 Our Lady of Pain.
180
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181=head2 v5.21.10 - Aldous Huxley, "The Devils of Loudun"
182
183L<Announced on 2015-03-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/03/msg226847.html>
184
185The fire burned on, the good fathers continued to sprinkle and intone.
186Suddenly a flock of pigeons came swooping down from the church and
187started to wheel around the roaring column of flame and smoke. The
188crowd shouted, the archers waved their halberds at the birds, Lactance
189and Tranquille splashed them on the wing with holy water. In vain. The
190pigeons were not to be driven away. Round and round they flew, diving
191through the smoke, singeing their feathers in the flames. Both parties
192claimed a miracle. For the parson's enemies the birds, quite obviously,
193were a troop of devils, come to fetch away his soul. For his friends,
194they were emblems of the Holy Ghost and living proof of his innocence.
195It never seems to have occurred to anyone that they were just pigeons,
196obeying the laws of their own, their blessedly other-than-human nature.
197
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198=head2 v5.21.9 - Emily Dickinson, "There is Another Sky"
199
c8d2be4d 200L<Announced on 2015-02-20 by Sawyer X|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg226002.html>
94fa4f56 201
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202 There is another sky,
203 Ever serene and fair,
204 And there is another sunshine,
205 Though it be darkness there;
206 Never mind faded forests, Austin,
207 Never mind silent fields -
208 Here is a little forest,
209 Whose leaf is ever green;
210 Here is a brighter garden,
211 Where not a frost has been;
212 In its unfading flowers
213 I hear the bright bee hum:
214 Prithee, my brother,
215 Into my garden come!
94fa4f56 216
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217=head2 v5.21.8 - Bill Watterson, "Scientific Progress Goes 'Boink': A Calvin and Hobbes Collection"
218
06dcbead 219L<Announced on 2015-01-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/01/msg224869.html>
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220
221Calvin: OK Hobbes, press the button and duplicate me.
222Hobbes: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
223Calvin: Brother! You doubting Thomases get in the way of more scientific advances with your stupid ethical questions! This is a *BRILLIANT* idea! Hit the button, will ya?
224Hobbes: I'd hate to be accused of inhibiting scientific progress... Here you go.
225[Box]: *BOINK*
226Hobbes: Scientific progress goes "BOINK"?
227Calvin?: It worked! It worked! I'm a genius!
228Cavlin??: No you're not, you liar! *I* invented this!
229
2ee7da68 230=head2 v5.21.7 - Robert Heinlein, "The Number of the Beast"
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231
232L<Announced on 2014-12-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/12/msg223774.html>
233
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234"Zebadiah, Hilda and I salvaged and put everything into the basket.
235Hilda started to put it into our wardrobe-and it was heavy. So
236we looked. Packed as tight as when we left Oz. Six bananas-and
237everything else. Cross my heart. No, go look."
238"Hmmm- Jake, can you write equations for a picnic basket that
239refills itself? Will it go on doing so?"
240"Zeb, equations can be written to describe anything. The description
241would be simpler for a basket that replenishes itself indefinitely
242than for one that does it once and stops-I would have to describe
243the discontinuity."
d171d861 244
2ee7da68 245=head2 v5.21.6 - Jeff Noon, "Vurt"
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246
247L<Announced on 2014-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/11/msg222448.html>
248
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249GAME CAT
250
251EXCHANGE MECHANISMS. Sometimes we lose precious
252things. Friends and colleagues, fellow travellers in the
253Vurt, sometimes we lose them; even lovers we sometimes
254lose. And get bad things in exchange: aliens, objects,
255snakes, and sometimes even death. Things we don't want.
256This is part of the deal, part of the game deal;
257all things, in all worlds, must be kept in balance.
258Kittlings often ask, who decides on the swappings? Now then,
259some say it's all accidental; that some poor Vurt thing
260finds himself too close to a door, at too critical a time,
261just when something real is being lost. Whoosh! Swap time!
262Others say that some kind of overseer is working the
263MECHANISMS OF EXCHANGE, deciding the fate of innocents.
264The Cat can only tease at this, because of the big secrets
265involved, and because of the levels between you, the reader,
266and me, the Game Cat. Hey, listen; I've struggled to get
267where I am today; why should I give you the easy route?
268Get working, kittlings! Reach up higher. Work the Vurt.
11741df4 269
2ee7da68 270=head2 v5.21.5 - Friso Wiegersma (text), Jean Ferrat (music), Wim Sonneveld (performer), "Het Dorp"
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271
272L<Announced on 2014-10-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg221399.html>
273
274 Het Dorp
275
276 Thuis heb ik nog een ansichtkaart
277 waarop een kerk, een kar met paard,
278 een slagerij J. van der Ven.
279 Een kroeg, een juffrouw op de fiets
280 het zegt u hoogstwaarschijnlijk niets,
281 maar 't is waar ik geboren ben.
282 Dit dorp, ik weet nog hoe het was,
283 de boerenkind'ren in de klas,
284 een kar die ratelt op de keien,
285 het raadhuis met een pomp ervoor,
286 een zandweg tussen koren door,
11741df4 287 het vee, de boerderijen.
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288
289 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
290 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
291 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 292 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
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293
294 Wat leefden ze eenvoudig toen
295 in simp'le huizen tussen groen
296 met boerenbloemen en een heg.
297 Maar blijkbaar leefden ze verkeerd,
298 het dorp is gemoderniseerd
299 en nu zijn ze op de goeie weg.
300 Want ziet, hoe rijk het leven is,
301 ze zien de televisiequiz
302 en wonen in betonnen dozen,
303 met flink veel glas, dan kun je zien
304 hoe of het bankstel staat bij Mien
305 en d'r dressoir met plastic rozen.
306
307 En langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
308 zag ik de hoge bomen staan.
309 Ik was een kind en wist niet beter,
11741df4 310 dan dat dat nooit voorbij zou gaan.
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311
312 De dorpsjeugd klit wat bij elkaar
313 in minirok en beatle-haar
314 en joelt wat mee met beat-muziek.
315 Ik weet wel, het is hun goeie recht,
316 de nieuwe tijd, net wat u zegt,
317 maar het maakt me wat melancholiek.
318 Ik heb hun vaders nog gekend
319 ze kochten zoethout voor een cent
320 ik zag hun moeders touwtjespringen.
321 Dat dorp van toen, het is voorbij,
322 dit is al wat er bleef voor mij:
323 een ansicht en herinneringen.
324
325 Toen ik langs het tuinpad van m'n vader
326 de hoge bomen nog zag staan.
327 Ik was een kind, hoe kon ik weten
328 dat dat voorgoed voorbij zou gaan.
329
2ee7da68 330=head2 v5.21.4 - Edgar Allan Poe, "The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket"
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331
332L<Announced on 2014-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220267.html>
333
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334To-day, being in latitude 83° 20', longitude 43° 5' W. (the sea being
335of an extraordinarily dark colour), we again saw land from the
336masthead, and, upon a closer scrutiny, found it to be one of a group
337of very large islands. The shore was precipitous, and the interior
338seemed to be well wooded, a circumstance which occasioned us great
339joy. In about four hours from our first discovering the land we came
340to anchor in ten fathoms, sandy bottom, a league from the coast, as a
341high surf, with strong ripples here and there, rendered a nearer
342approach of doubtful expediency. The two largest boats were now
343ordered out, and a party, well armed (among whome were Peters and
344myself), proceeded to look for an opening in the reef which appeared
345to encircle the island. After searching about for some time, we
346discovered an inlet, which we were entering, when we saw four large
347canoes put off from the shore, filled with men who seemed to be well
348armed. We waited for them to come up, and, as they moved with great
349rapidity, they were soon within hail. Captain Guy now held up a white
350handkerchief on the blade of an oar, when the strangers made a full
351stop, and commenced a loud jabbering all at once, intermingled with
352occasional shouts, in which we could distinguish the words Anamoo-moo!
353and Lama-Lama! They continued this for at least half an hour, during
354which we had a good opportunity of observing their appearance.
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356=head2 v5.21.3 - Robert Service, "The Men that Don't Fit In"
357
358L<Announced on 2014-08-20 by Peter Martini|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218826.html>
359
360 If they just went straight they might go far,
361 They are strong and brave and true;
362 But they're always tired of the things that are,
363 And they want the strange and new.
364 They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
365 What a deep mark I would make!"
366 So they chop and change, and each fresh move
367 Is only a fresh mistake.
368
369=head2 v5.21.2 - Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Charlie Duke, Final minutes of communication of the first manned moon landing, July 20, 1969
370
371L<Announced on 2014-07-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/07/msg217937.html>
372
373 Armstrong: Okay. Here's a...Looks like a good area here.
374 Aldrin: I got the shadow out there.
375 Aldrin: 250, down at 2 1/2, 19 forward.
376 Aldrin: Altitude, velocity lights.
377 Aldrin: 3 1/2 down, 220 feet, 13 forward.
378 Aldrin: 11 forward. Coming down nicely.
379 Armstrong: Gonna be right over that crater.
380 Aldrin: 200 feet, 4 1/2 down.
381 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down.
382 Armstrong: I got a good spot [garbled].
383 Aldrin: 160 feet, 6 1/2 down.
384 Aldrin: 5 1/2 down, 9 forward. You're looking good.
385 Aldrin: 120 feet.
386 Aldrin: 100 feet, 3 1/2 down, 9 forward. Five percent. Quantity light.
387 Aldrin: Okay. 75 feet. And it's looking good. Down a half, 6 forward.
388 Duke: 60 seconds.
389 Aldrin: Light's on.
390 Aldrin: 60 feet, down 2 1/2. 2 forward. 2 forward. That's good.
391 Aldrin: 40 feet, down 2 1/2. Picking up some dust.
392 Aldrin: 30 feet, 2 1/2 down. [Garbled] shadow.
393 Aldrin: 4 forward. 4 forward. Drifting to the right a little. 20 feet,
394 down a half.
395 Duke: 30 seconds.
396 Aldrin: Drifting forward just a little bit; that's good.
397 Aldrin: Contact Light.
398 Armstrong: Shutdown.
399 Aldrin: Okay. Engine Stop.
400 Aldrin: ACA out of Detent.
401 Armstrong: Out of Detent. Auto.
402 Aldrin: Mode Control, both Auto. Descent Engine Command Override, Off.
403 Engine Arm, Off. 413 is in.
404 Duke: We copy you down, Eagle.
405 Armstrong: Engine arm is off.
406 Armstrong: Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.
407 Duke: Roger, Twan...[correcting himself] Tranquility. We copy you on
408 the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue.
409 We're breathing again. Thanks a lot.
410 Aldrin: Thank you.
411
412=head2 v5.21.1 - Robert Jordan, "The Crossroads of Twilights", Book 10 of "The Wheel of Time"
413
414L<Announced on 2014-06-20 by Matthew Horsfall|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/06/msg217030.html>
415
416 We rode on the winds of the rising storm,
417 We ran to the sounds of the thunder.
418 We danced among the lightning bolts,
419 and tore the world asunder.
420
421 -- Anonymous fragment of a poem believed
422 written near the end of the previous Age,
423 known by some as the Third Age.
424 Sometimes attributed to the Dragon
425 Reborn.
426
427=head2 v5.21.0 - Friedrich von Schiller, "The Song of the Bell"
428
429L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215826.html>
430
431 Walled in fast within the earth
432 Stands the form burnt out of clay.
433 This must be the bell’s great birth!
434 Fellows, lend a hand to-day.
435 Sweat must trickle now
436 From the burning brow,
437 Till the work its master honour.
438 Blessing comes from Heaven’s Donor.
439
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440=head2 v5.20.3-RC1 - Anon., trans. Malcolm C. Lyons, "The Story of Abu Muhammad the Idle and the Marvels He Encountered with the Ape As Well As the Marvels of the Seas and Islands", from "Tales of the Marvellous and News of the Strange"
441
442L<Announced on 2015-08-22 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/08/msg230359.html>
443
444'On the night of the wedding the ape came to sit in front of me and
445asked me what I intended to do. "Whatever you tell me," I replied,
446and he said: "Take care not to covet the girl, or I shall come back
447and burn you up and leave you as a lesson for those who can learn."
448I agreed to this and when evening came I found the world full of
449candles and torches burning in holders of gold and silver. There
450were servants and serving girls, and everyone who saw me
451congratulated me on my good fortune, as there was no girl on the
452face of the earth more beautiful than my bride.
453[...]
454'Next morning I went out to the market, and people went in and asked
455her how the night had been. "He never looked up at me," she told
456them. Then, when it was afternoon, I went to my house, where the
457ape was sitting by the door. "Tell me what you did," it said, and I
458told it: "By God, I did not learn and do not know whether this was a
459man or a girl." "That's what I want," it said.
460[...]
461'On the second night my bride was brought to me, after which the
462servants left her and went away. She fell asleep, and, while she
463was sleeping, I killed the cock, wrapped it in the cloth and put the
464four poles from the couch over it. Suddenly there was a huge crash
465like a peal of thunder and a fiery 'ifrit swooped on the girl. I
466fainted at the sight and when I recovered I heard a voice saying:
467"By the Lord of the Ka'ba, the girl has been carried off!" and there
468was a sound like the rustling of wind and bitter weeping. At this I
469shed tears, struck my head and was filled with regret when it was no
470longer of any use, for to me the whole world was worth no more than
471a bean.
472
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473=head2 v5.20.2 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Magical Trevor"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/magical-trevor.html>
474
475L<Announced on 2015-02-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225777.html>
476
477 Everyone loves Magical Trevor,
478 'Cos the tricks that he does are ever so clever;
479 Look at him now, disappearin' the cow,
480 Where is the cow hidden right now?
481
482 Taking a bow, it's Magical Trevor,
483 Everybody's seen that the trick is clever;
484 Look at him there with his leathery, leathery whip!
485 It's made of magic, and with a little flip--
486
487 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back,
488 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cow is back;
489 Back, back, back from his magical journey,
490 Yeah!
491
492 What did he see in the parallel dimension?
493 He saw beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans;
494 Oh, beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans,
495 Yeah, yeah!
496
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497=head2 v5.20.2-RC1 - Jonathan "Jonti" Picking, L<"Scampi"|http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/scampi.html>
498
499L<Announced on 2015-02-01 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2015/02/msg225273.html>
500
501 I've seen things,
502 I've seen them with my eyes;
503 I've seen things,
504 They're often in disguise.
505
506 Like carrots, handbags, cheese, toilets,
507 Russians, planets, hamsters, weddings,
508 Poets, Stalin, Kuala Lumpur!
509 Pygmies, budgies, Kuala Lumpur!
510
511 I've seen things,
512 I've seen them with my eyes;
513 I've seen things,
514 They're often in disguise.
515
516 Like carrots, handbags, cheese...
517
2ee7da68 518=head2 v5.20.1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. Diana Reed, "Così fan tutte"
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519
520L<Announced on 2014-09-14 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219789.html>
521
522 DORABELLA (as if waking from a daze): Where are they?
523 DON ALFONSO: They've gone.
524 FIORDILIGI: Oh, the cruel bitterness of parting!
525
526 DON ALFONSO:
527 Take heart, my dearest children.
528 Look, in the distance, your lovers are waving to you.
529
530 FIORDILIGI: Bon voyage, my darling!
531 DORABELLA: Bon voyage!
532
533 FIORDILIGI:
534 O heavens! How swiftly the ship is sailing away!
535 It is disappearing already!
536 It is no longer in sight!
537 Oh, may heaven grant it a prosperous voyage!
538
539 DORABELLA: May good luck attend it to the battlefield!
540 DON ALFONSO: And may your sweethearts and my friends be safe!
541
542 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA, DON ALFONSO:
543 May the wind be gentle,
544 may the sea be calm,
545 and may the elements
546 respond kindly
547 to our wishes.
548
2ee7da68 549=head2 v5.20.1-RC2 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
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550
551L<Announced on 2014-09-07 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg219446.html>
552
553 GUGLIELMO:
554 Oh God, I feel that this foot of mine
555 is reluctant to come before her.
556
557 FERRANDO:
558 My trembling lip
559 can utter no word.
560
561 DON ALFONSO:
562 The hero displays his manliness
563 in the most terrible moments.
564
565 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA:
566 Now that we have heard the news,
567 you have the lesser duty:
568 Take heart, and plunge your swords
569 into both our hearts.
570
571 FERRANDO, GUGLIELMO:
572 My idol, blame fate
573 that I must abandon you.
574
575 DORABELLA: Ah no, you shall not leave...
576 FIORDILIGI: No, cruel one, you shall not go...
577 DORABELLA: First I want to tear out my heart.
578 FIORDILIGI: First I want to die at your feet.
579 FERRANDO (softly to Don Alfonso): What do you say to that?
580 GUGLIELMO (softly to Don Alfonso): You realise?
581 DON ALFONSO (softly): Steady, friend, finem lauda.
582
583 ALL:
584 Thus destiny defrauds
585 the hopes of mortals.
586 Ah, among so many misfortunes,
587 who can ever love life?
588
2ee7da68 589=head2 v5.20.1-RC1 - Lorenzo da Ponte, trans. William Weaver, "Così fan tutte"
e1ded6ad
SH
590
591L<Announced on 2014-08-25 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/08/msg218975.html>
592
593 DON ALFONSO:
594 I'd like to speak, but I haven't the heart:
595 my lip stammers.
596 My voice cannot emerge,
597 but remains in my throat.
598 What will you do? What shall I do?
599 Oh what a great catastrophe!
600 There can be nothing worse.
601 I feel pity for you and for them.
602
603 FIORDILIGI: Heavens! For mercy's sake, Signor Alfonso, don't make us
604 die.
605 DON ALFONSO: My children, you must arm yourselves with constancy.
606 DORABELLA: Ye Gods! What evil has occurred? What horrible event? Is my
607 love dead, perhaps?
608 FIORDILIGI: Is mine dead?
609 DON ALFONSO: They are not dead, but they are not far from it.
610 DORABELLA: Wounded?
611 DON ALFONSO: No.
612 FIORDILIGI: Ill?
613 DON ALFONSO: Nor that.
614 FIORDILIGI: What, then?
615 DON ALFONSO: A royal command summons them to the field of battle.
616 FIORDILIGI, DORABELLA: Alas, what do I hear? And they will leave?
617 DON ALFONSO: Immediately.
618 DORABELLA: And there is no way of preventing it?
619 DON ALFONSO: There is none.
620 FIORDILIGI: And not even a single farewell...
621 DON ALFONSO: The unhappy men haven't the courage to see you; but if
622 you wish it, they are ready...
623 DORABELLA: Where are they?
624 DON ALFONSO: Come in, friends.
625
7684c8f0
RS
626=head2 v5.20.0 - William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
627
628L<Announced on 2014-05-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215815.html>
629
630 But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
631 Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
632 Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
633 When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
634 So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
635 So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
636
f17f1150
RS
637=head2 v5.20.0-RC1 - Lindsey Buckingham, "Second Hand News"
638
639L<Announced on 2014-05-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/05/msg215479.html>
640
641 When times go bad
642 when times go rough
643 Won't you lay me down in tall grass
644 And let me do my stuff
645
2ee7da68 646=head2 v5.19.11 - Isidore-Lucien Ducasse [as "Comte de Lautréamont"], trans. Paul Knight, "Les Chants de Maldoror"
50bb8485
SH
647
648L<Announced on 2014-04-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/04/msg214580.html>
649
650O rigorous mathematics, I have not forgotten you since your wise lessons,
651sweeter than honey, filtered into my heart like a refreshing wave.
652Instinctively, from the cradle, I had longed to drink from your source, older
653than the sun, and I continue to tread the sacred sanctuary of your solemn
654temple, I, the most faithful of your devotees. There was a vagueness in my
655mind, something thick as smoke; but I managed to mount the steps which lead to
656your altar, and you drove away this dark veil, as the wind blows the
657draught-board. You replaced it with excessive coldness, consummate prudence and
658implacable logic. With the aid of your fortifying milk, my intellect developed
659rapidly and took on immense proportions amid the ravishing lucidity which you
660bestow as a gift on all those who sincerely love you. Arithmetic! Algebra!
661Geometry! Awe-inspiring trinity! Luminous triangle! He who has not known you
662is a fool!
663
2ee7da68 664=head2 v5.19.10 - John Chadwick, "The Decipherment of Linear B"
9e616318
AC
665
666L<Announced on 2014-03-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/03/msg213851.html>
071a75f5
AC
667
668The urge to discover secrets is deeply ingrained in human nature; even
669the least curious mind is roused by the promise of sharing knowledge
670withheld from others. Some are fortunate enough to find a job which
671consists in the solution of mysteries, whether it be the physicist who
672tracks down a hitherto unknown nuclear particle or the policeman who
673detects a criminal. But most of us are driven to sublimate this urge
674by the solving of artificial puzzles devised for our entertainment.
675
2ee7da68 676=head2 v5.19.9 - R. A. MacAvoy, "Tea with the Black Dragon"
132664ae
TC
677
678L<Announced on 2014-02-20 by Tony Cook|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/02/msg213047.html>
679
680Old hands. The smell of rain--the smell of Ch'an. Quiet words in
681rough Cantonese. "I am not to be your master. Your master has to be
682stronger than you are--has to tell you you are a fool and make you
683know it. And make you feel content in being a fool. How could I do
684that for you? I'm old. You are too strong for me; you are full of
685chi." The old man has paused then, huddled against the wind while
686clouds thickened above them.
687
688"I will tell you this, Long," he continued, "Before you find yourself
689you will lose your chi. Also you will leave behind you all pride of
690body, pride of mind. You will be reduced. Like me." The old man
691closed his eyes, and rain began to beat against his gray, crew-cut
692hair. He pulled his coat closer. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and
693he looked Long in the face.
694
695"You must leave China. Go across the ocean. There you will meet your
696master." He set down his teacup with a palsied hand. His voice rose,
697grew fierce.
698
699"I tell you this, most honored and impressive visitor. You are a
700fool, yes, but you will find the very thing you seek. You will find
701truth!"
702
2ee7da68 703=head2 v5.19.8 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
d897adff
RS
704
705L<Announced on 2014-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211729.html>
706
707“I used to get a big kick out of saving people’s lives. Now I wonder what the
708hell’s the point, since they all have to die anyway.”
709
710“Oh, there’s a point, all right,” Dunbar assured him.
711
712“Is there? What is the point?”
713
714“The point is to keep them from dying for as long as you can.”
715
716“Yeah, but what’s the point, since they all have to die anyway?”
717
718“The trick is not to think about that.”
719
720“Never mind the trick. What the hell’s the point?”
721
722Dunbar pondered in silence for a few moments. “Who the hell knows?”
723
2cff31c9
A
724=head2 v5.19.7 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Slaughterhouse-Five"
725
726L<Announced on 2013-12-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/12/msg210882.html>
727
e91f1fc1
SH
728And somewhere in there was springtime. The corpse mines were closed
729down. The soldiers all left to fight the Russians. In the suburbs,
730the women and children dug rifle pits. Billy and the rest of his group
731were locked up in the stable in the suburbs. And then, one morning,
732they got up to discover that the door was unlocked. World War Two in
733Europe was over.
2cff31c9 734
e91f1fc1
SH
735Billy and the rest wandered out onto the shady street. The trees were
736leafing out. There was nothing going on out there, no traffic of any
737kind. There was only one vehicle, an abandoned wagon drawn by two
738horses. The wagon was green and coffin-shaped.
2cff31c9 739
e91f1fc1 740Birds were talking.
2cff31c9 741
e91f1fc1 742One bird said to Billy Pilgrim, "Pee-tee-weet?"
2cff31c9 743
5a3c3c58
CBW
744=head2 v5.19.6 - Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Spam"
745
746L<Announced on 2013-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/11/msg210043.html>
747
4ed12d4a
SH
748 Interior: cheap cafe. All the customers are Vikings. Mr and Mrs Bun enter downwards (on wires).
749
750 Mr. Bun: Morning.
751 Waitress: Morning.
752 Mr. Bun: What have you got, then?
753 Waitress: Well there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam;
754 egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam;
755 spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam;
756 or lobster thermidor aux crevettes, with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried
757 egg on top and spam
758 Mrs. Bun: Have you got anything without spam in it?
759 Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got MUCH spam in it.
760 Mrs. Bun: I don't want ANY spam.
761 Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
762 Mrs. Bun: That's got spam in it!
763 Mr. Bun: Not as much as spam, egg, sausage and spam.
764 Mrs. Bun: Look, could I have egg, bacon, spam and sausage, without the spam.
765 Waitress: Uuuuuuggggh!
766 Mrs. Bun: What d'you mean, uugggh! I don't like spam.
767 Vikings: (singing) Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
768
769 (Brief shot of a Viking ship)
770
771 Waitress: Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
772 Mrs. Bun: Why not?
773 Waitress: No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, spam and sausage, would it?
774 Mrs. Bun: I don't like spam!
5a3c3c58 775
40e1c3e8 776=head2 v5.19.5 - Charles Baudelaire, trans. James McGowan, "The Flowers of Evil", 51. The Cat
4d764166
SH
777
778L<Announced on 2013-10-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/10/msg208752.html>
779
4d764166
SH
780 I
781
782 A cat is strolling through my mind
783 Acting as though he owned the place,
784 A lovely cat -- strong, charming, sweet.
785 When he meows, one scarcely hears,
786
787 So tender and discreet his tone;
788 But whether he should growl or purr
789 His voice is always rich and deep.
790 That is the secret of his charm.
791
792 This purling voice that filters down
793 Into my darkest depths of soul
794 Fulfils me like a balanced verse,
795 Delights me as a potion would.
796
797 It puts to sleep the cruellest ills
798 And keeps a rein on ecstasies --
799 Without the need for any words
800 It can pronounce the longest phrase.
801
802 Oh no, there is no bow that draws
803 Across my heart, fine instrument,
804 And makes to sing so royally
805 The strongest and the purest chord,
806
807 More than your voice, mysterious cat,
808 Exotic cat, seraphic cat,
809 In whom all is, angelically,
810 As subtle as harmonious.
811
812 II
813
814 From his soft fur, golden and brown,
815 Goes out so sweet a scent, one night
816 I might have been embalmed in it
817 By giving him one little pet.
818
819 He is my household's guardian soul;
820 He judges, he presides, inspires
821 All matters in hos royal realm;
822 Might he be fairy? or a god?
823
824 When my eyes, to this cat I love
825 Drawn as by a magnet's force,
826 Turn tamely back from that appeal,
827 And when I look within myself,
828
829 I notice with astonishment
830 The fire of his opal eyes,
831 Clear beacons glowing, living jewels,
832 Taking my measure, steadily.
833
ce520fa6
SH
834=head2 v5.19.4 - Washington Irving, "The Widow and Her Son"
835
836L<Announced on 2013-09-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/09/msg207969.html>
837
ce520fa6
SH
838There is something in sickness that breaks down the pride of manhood;
839that softens the heart and brings it back to the feelings of infancy.
840Who that has languished, even in advanced life, in sickness and
841despondency — who that has pined on a weary bed in the neglect and
842loneliness of a foreign land — but has thought on the mother "that
843looked on his childhood," that smoothed his pillow and administered to
844his helplessness. — Oh! there is an enduring tenderness in the love
845of a mother to her son that transcends all other affections of the
846heart. It is neither to be chilled by selfishness — nor daunted by
847danger — nor weakened by worthlessness — nor stifled by ingratitude.
848She will sacrifice every comfort to his convenience — she will
849surrender every pleasure to his enjoyment — she will glory in his fame
850and exult in his prosperity. And if misfortune overtake him he will
851be the dearer to her from misfortune — and if disgrace settle upon his
852name, she will still love and cherish him in spite of his disgrace —
853and if all the world beside cast him off, she will be all the world to
854him.
855
9a701c04
SH
856=head2 v5.19.3 - Andrew Hodges, "Alan Turing: The Enigma"
857
858L<Announced on 2013-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg206318.html>
859
9a701c04
SH
860E.M. Forster, outdoing the King's heresy with grand bravura, had
861written in 1938 that if he were faced with the choice between
862betraying his country and betraying his friends, he hoped he would
863have the courage to betray his country. He would always put the
864personal above the political. But for Alan Turing, unlike Forster, or
865Wittgenstein, or G.H. Hardy, it was more than a theoretical question.
866For him not only had the personal become the political, but the
867political was the personal. He had chosen and promised for himself in
868working for the government. The choice for him therefore was that
869between betraying one part of himself and betraying another part. And
870however much he wavered between these alternatives, there was a solid
871logic to the mind of security, one that could not be expected to take
872an interest in notions of freedom and development. He had no rights
873to such things, as he would have had to admit. He might have
874outwitted the Home Guard, but when it came to questions that mattered,
875there was no doubt that he had placed himself under military law.
876There was a war on; there was always a war on now.
877
0b0ed28b
AP
878=head2 v5.19.2 - Fred Brooks, "The Mythical Man-Month"
879
880L<Announced on 2013-07-22 by Aristotle Pagaltzis|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/07/msg204905.html>
881
c2a00619
KW
882The magic of myth and legend has come true in our time. One types the
883correct incantation on a keyboard, and a display screen comes to life,
884showing things that never were nor could be. [...] Not all is delight,
885however [...] One must perform perfectly. The computer resembles the
886magic of legend in this respect, too. If one character, one pause, of
887the incantation is not strictly in proper form, the magic doesn't work.
888
549a11ea
DG
889=head2 v5.19.1 - William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
890
703078b2 891L<Announced on 2013-06-21 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/06/msg203449.html>
549a11ea
DG
892
893 Over hill, over dale,
894 Thorough bush, thorough briar,
895 Over park, over pale,
896 Thorough flood, thorough fire,
897 I do wander everywhere,
898 Swifter than the moon's sphere;
899 And I serve the fairy queen,
900 To dew her orbs upon the green.
901 The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
902 In their gold coats, spots you see;
903 Those be rubies, fairy favours,
904 In their freckles live our savours.
905 I must go seek some dew-drops here,
906 And hang a perl in every cowslip's ear.
907 Farewell, thou lob of spirits, I'll be gone;
908 My queen and all her elves come here anon!
909
5f42d1f2 910=head2 v5.19.0 - Batman, of the Joker, in "The Dark Knight Returns"
549a11ea
DG
911
912L<Announced on 2013-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201980.html>
913
914 From the beginning, I knew…
915 …that there was nothing wrong with you…
916 …that I can't fix…
917 …with my hands…
918
40e1c3e8 919=head2 v5.18.4 - Robert W. Chambers, Cassilda's Song in "The King in Yellow," Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1
RS
920
921L<Announced on 2014-10-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/10/msg220770.html>
922
923 Along the shore the cloud waves break,
924 The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
925 The shadows lengthen
926 In Carcosa.
927
928 Strange is the night where black stars rise,
929 And strange moons circle through the skies
930 But stranger still is
931 Lost Carcosa.
932
933 Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
934 Where flap the tatters of the King,
935 Must die unheard in
936 Dim Carcosa.
937
938 Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
939 Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
940 Shall dry and die in
941 Lost Carcosa.
942
8bbce0b1
RS
943=head2 v5.18.3 - (no epigraph)
944
945(no epigraph)
946
40e1c3e8 947=head2 v5.18.3-RC2 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 948
dd047fac 949L<Announced on 2014-09-27 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220613.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
950
951"Ah! I see it now!" I shrieked. "You have seized the throne and the
952empire. Woe! woe to you who are crowned with the crown of the King in
953Yellow!"
954
40e1c3e8 955=head2 v5.18.3-RC1 - Robert W. Chambers, "The King in Yellow", Act I, Scene 2
8bbce0b1 956
dd047fac 957L<Announced on 2014-09-17 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/09/msg220072.html>
8bbce0b1
RS
958
959 CAMILLA: You, sir, should unmask.
960
961 STRANGER: Indeed?
962
963 CASSILDA: Indeed it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.
964
965 STRANGER: I wear no mask.
966
967 CAMILLA: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask!
968
6d0eb662
RS
969=head2 v5.18.2 - Miss Manners
970
971L<Announced on 2014-01-06 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2014/01/msg211224.html>
972
973One of the major mistakes people make is that they think manners are
974only the expression of happy ideas. There's a whole range of behavior
975that can be expressed in a mannerly way. That's what civilization is all
976about – doing it in a mannerly and not an antagonistic way. One of the
977places we went wrong was the naturalistic Rousseauean movement of the
978Sixties in which people said, "Why can't you just say what's on your
979mind?" In civilization there have to be some restraints. If we followed
980every impulse, we'd be killing one another.
981
80963870
RS
982=head2 v5.18.1 - Chuck Moore
983
984L<Announced on 2013-08-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205897.html>
985
986The operating system is another concept that is curious. Operating
987systems are dauntingly complex and totally unnecessary. It’s a brilliant
988thing that Bill Gates has done in selling the world on the notion of
989operating systems. It’s probably the greatest con game the world has
990ever seen.
991
992An operating system does absolutely nothing for you. As long as you had
993something — a subroutine called disk driver, a subroutine called some
994kind of communication support, in the modern world, it doesn’t do
995anything else. In fact, Windows spends a lot of time with overlays and
996disk management all stuff like that which are irrelevant. You’ve got
997gigabyte disks; you’ve got megabyte RAMs. The world has changed in a way
998that renders the operating system unnecessary.
999
1000=head2 v5.18.1-RC1 - Chuck Moore
1001
1002L<Announced on 2013-08-02 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/08/msg205445.html>
1003
1004Compilers are probably the worst code ever written. They are written by
1005someone who has never written a compiler before and will never do so
1006again. The more elaborate the language, the more complex, bug-ridden,
1007and unusable is the compiler. But a simple compiler for a simple
1008language is an essential tool—if only for documentation.
1009
4e720792
RS
1010=head2 v5.18.0 - Yevgeny Zamyatin
1011
1012L<Announced on 2013-05-18 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201940.html>
1013
1014It is an error to divide people into the living and the dead: there are people
1015who are dead-alive, and people who are alive-alive. The dead-alive also write,
1016walk, speak, act. But they make no mistakes; only machines make no mistakes,
1017and they produce only dead things. The alive-alive are constantly in error, in
1018search, in questions, in torment.
1019
2ee7da68 1020=head2 v5.18.0-RC4 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
4e720792 1021
dd047fac 1022L<Announced on 2013-05-16 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201889.html>
4e720792
RS
1023
1024Clevinger was dead. That was the basic flaw in his philosophy.
1025
1026=head2 v5.18.0-RC3 - Tom Waits, "The Ocean Doesn't Want Me"
1027
dd047fac 1028L<Announced on 2013-05-14 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201823.html>
4e720792
RS
1029
1030 I'd love to go drowning
1031 And to stay and to stay
1032 But the ocean doesn't want me today
1033 I'll go in up to here
1034 It can't possibly hurt
1035 All they will find is my beer
1036 And my shirt
1037
1038=head2 v5.18.0-RC2 - Tom Waits, "Earth Died Screaming"
1039
1040L<Announced on 2013-05-12 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201723.html>
1041
1042 And the great day of wrath has come
1043 And here's mud in your big red eye
1044 The poker's in the fire
1045 And the locusts take the sky
1046 And the earth died screaming
1047 While I lay dreaming of you
1048
1049=head2 v5.18.0-RC1 - Tom Waits, "What's He Building in There?"
1050
1051L<Announced on 2013-05-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/05/msg201651.html>
1052
1053 What's he building in there?
1054
1055 We have a right to know…
1056
2ee7da68 1057=head2 v5.17.11 - Nigel Tufnel in "This is Spın̈al Tap"
4e720792
RS
1058
1059L<Announced on 2013-04-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/04/msg201056.html>
1060
1061It's very special because, if you can see, the numbers all go to…
1062eleven! Look, right across the board: eleven, eleven, eleven, eleven!
1063
2ee7da68 1064=head2 v5.17.10 - Vernor Vinge, "A Fire Upon The Deep"
7707f065 1065
f3d08688 1066L<Announced on 2013-03-23 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200504.html>
7707f065
MM
1067
1068The archive informed the automation. Data structures were built, recipes
1069followed. A local network was built, faster than anything on Straum, but surely
1070safe. Nodes were added, modified by other recipes. The archive was a friendly
1071place, with hierarchies of translation keys that led them along. Straum itself
1072would be famous for this.
1073
1074Six months passed. A year.
1075
72f869fd 1076The omniscient view. Not self-aware really. Self-awareness is much over-rated.
7707f065 1077Most automation works far better as a part of a whole, and even if human-
72f869fd 1078powerful, it does not need to self-know.
7707f065 1079
2ee7da68 1080=head2 v5.17.9 - Douglas Adams, "The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy"
fed67cf1 1081
f3d08688 1082L<Announced on 2013-02-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/02/msg199115.html>
fed67cf1
CBW
1083
1084Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
1085The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a
1086recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of
1087his poem 'Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My
1088Armpit One Midsummer Morning' four of his audience died
1089of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the
1090Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one
1091of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been
1092'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to
1093embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled
1094'My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine,
1095in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation,
1096leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
1097
1098The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator
1099Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England,
1100in the destruction of the planet Earth.
1101
2ee7da68 1102=head2 v5.17.8 - Iain Pears, "An Instance of the Fingerpost"
2eea07f2 1103
f3d08688 1104L<Announced on 2013-01-20 by Aaron Crane|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/01/msg197571.html>
2eea07f2
AC
1105
1106I must here declare myself as someone who does not for a moment subscribe to
1107the general view that a willingness to perform oneself is detrimental to the
1108dignity of experimental philosophy. There is, after all, a clear distinction
1109between labour carried out for financial reward, and that done for the
1110improvement of mankind: to put it another way, Lower as a philosopher was
1111fully my equal even if he fell away when he became the practising physician.
1112I think ridiculous of certain professors of anatomy, who find it beneath
1113them to pick up the knife themselves, but merely comment while hired hands
1114do the cutting. Sylvius would never have dreamt of sitting on a dais reading
b86ac955 1115from an authority while others cut — when he taught, the knife was
2eea07f2
AC
1116in his hand and the blood spattered his coat. Boyle also did not scruple to
1117perform his own experiments and, on one occasion in my presence, even showed
1118himself willing to anatomise a rat with his very own hands. Nor was he less
1119a gentleman when he had finished. Indeed, in my opinion, his stature was all
1120the greater, for in Boyle wealth, humility and curiosity mingled, and the
1121world is richer for it.
1122
2ee7da68 1123=head2 v5.17.7 - R. Scott Bakker, "The Darkness That Comes Before"
c2a10b9c 1124
f3d08688 1125L<Announced on 2012-12-18 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/12/msg196707.html>
c2a10b9c
DR
1126
1127No thought.
4ed12d4a
SH
1128
1129The boy extinguished. Only a place.
1130
1131This place.
1132
1133Motionless, the Pragma sat facing him, the bare soles of his feet flat against each other, his dark frock scored by the shadows of deep folds, his eyes as empty as the child they watched.
1134
1135A place without breath or sound. A place of sight alone. A place without before or after . . . almost.
1136
1137For the first lances of sunlight careered over the glacier, as ponderous as great tree limbs in the wind. Shadows hardened and light gleamed across the Pragma’s ancient skull.
1138
1139The old man’s left hand forsook his right sleeve, bearing a watery knife. And like a rope in water, his arm pitched outward, fingertips trailing across the blade as the knife swung languidly into the air, the sun skating and the dark shrine plunging across its mirror back . . .
1140
1141And the place where Kellhus had once existed extended an open hand—the blond hairs like luminous filaments against tanned skin—and grasped the knife from stunned space.
1142
1143The slap of pommel against palm triggered the collapse of place into little boy. The pale stench of his body. Breath, sound, and lurching thoughts.
1144
1145I have been legion . . .
1146
1147In his periphery, he could see the spike of the sun ease from the mountain. He felt drunk with exhaustion. In the recoil of his trance, it seemed all he could hear were the twigs arching and bobbing in the wind, pulled by leaves like a million sails no bigger than his hand. Cause everywhere, but amid countless minute happenings—diffuse, useless.
1148
1149Now I understand.
c2a10b9c 1150
2ee7da68 1151=head2 v5.17.6 - Kurt Vonnegut, "The Sirens of Titan"
1443de07 1152
f3d08688 1153L<Announced on 2012-11-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195659.html>
1443de07
RS
1154
1155Beatrice, looking like a gypsy queen, smoldered at the foot of a statue
1156of a young physical student. At first glance, the laboratory-gowned
1157scientist seemed to be a perfect servant of nothing but truth. At first
1158glance, one was convinced that nothing but truth could please him as he
1159beamed at his test tube. At first glance, one thought that he was as
1160much above the beastly concerns of mankind as the harmoniums in the
1161caves of Mercury. There, at first glance, was a young man without
1162vanity, without lust — and one accepted at its face value the title Salo
1163had engraved on the statue, "Discovery of Atomic Power."
1164
6720b7ff
FR
1165=head2 v5.17.5 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
1166
f3d08688 1167L<Announced on 2012-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194349.html>
6720b7ff
FR
1168
1169Neither of them noticed the pair of polka-dotted knickers hiding
1170behind the ventilation duct overhead, listening patiently and
1171recording everything.
1172
e6a2c28f
FR
1173=head2 v5.17.4 - Roald Dahl, "Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf"
1174
f3d08688 1175L<Announced on 2012-09-19 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/09/msg192635.html>
e6a2c28f 1176
5814c912
RS
1177 The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
1178 She whips a pistol from her knickers.
1179 She aims it at the creature's head,
1180 And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
e6a2c28f 1181
5814c912
RS
1182 A few weeks later, in the wood,
1183 I came across Miss Riding Hood.
1184 But what a change! No cloak of red,
1185 No silly hood upon her head.
1186 She said, "Hello, and do please note
1187 My lovely furry wolfskin coat."
e6a2c28f 1188
4079ea87
SH
1189=head2 v5.17.3 - Kris Ta-belle, "Smoked Perl Onion Soup"
1190
1191L<Announced on 2012-08-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190775.html>
1192
1193Preparation:
1194
1195Cut 16 Perl Onions into quarters and put them in a grill smoker rack
1196or a perforated pan over a BBQ using hickory wood chips or Special
1197Blend Smoker Bisquettes. Smoke them for an hour and remove once they
1198look golden brown.
1199Let them cool and put them in the fridge (or freezer) until you are
1200ready to create the soup.
1201
1202Ingredients:
1203
5814c912
RS
1204 16 diced, pre-smoked, Perl Onions
1205 3 tbsp butter
1206 1/4 cup olive oil
1207 2 small garlic cloves, finely minced
1208 1 tsp salt
1209 1 tsp sugar
1210 black pepper to taste
1211 1 cup red wine
1212 1/4 cup all purpose flour
1213 6 cups of beef or vegetable stock
1214 1 cup of thick cream (milk can be used as a substitute)
4079ea87
SH
1215
1216Method:
1217
5814c912
RS
1218 Melt the butter in a pan and then add olive oil.
1219 Heat and add the onions to caramelize over a medium-high heat for up
1220 to half an hour.
1221 Add the garlic, turn down the heat and cook for a further 5 minutes.
1222 Add the salt, pepper and sugar.
1223 Now add the red wine and reduce to a jam like consistency.
1224 Add the flour, stir well and add the stock a cup at a time.
1225 Simmer for 30 minutes, add the cream and heat to almost boiling.
4079ea87
SH
1226
1227Enjoy.
1228
d7846122
TC
1229=head2 v5.17.2 - Terry Pratchet, "The Colour of Magic"
1230
3d76f962 1231L<Announced on 2012-07-21 by TonyC|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/07/msg189828.html>
d7846122
TC
1232
1233‘I knew it,’ said Rincewind. ‘We're in a strong magical field.’
1234
1235Twoflower and Hrun looked around the little hollow where they had made
1236their noonday halt. Then they looked at each other.
1237
1238The horses were quietly cropping the rich grass by the stream. Yellow
1239butterflies skittered among the bushes. There was a smell of thyme
1240and a buzzing of bees. The wild pigs on the spit sizzled gently.
1241
1242Hrun shrugged and went back to oiling his biceps. They gleamed.
1243
1244‘Looks alright to me,’ he said.
1245
1246‘Try tossing a coin,’ said Rincewind.
1247
1248‘What?’
1249
1250‘Go on. Toss a coin.’
1251
1252‘Hokay,’ said Hrun. 'If that gives you any pleasure.’ He reached into
1253his pouch and withdrew a handful of loose change plundered from a
1254dozen realms. With some care he selected a Zchloty leaden
1255quarter-iotum and balanced it on a purple thumbnail.
1256
1257‘You call,’ he said. ‘Heads or—’ he inspected the obverse with
1258an air of intense concentration, ‘some sort of a fish with legs.’
1259
1260‘When it's in the air,’ said Rincewind. Hrun grinned and flicked his thumb.
1261
1262The iotum rose, spinning.
1263
1264‘Edge,’ said Rincewind, without looking at it.
1265
322e634c
JL
1266=head2 v5.17.1 - Rand Miller, "Myst: The Book of Ti'ana"
1267
1268L<Announced on 2012-06-20 by doy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/06/msg188354.html>
1269
1270On their return from Ko'ah, Aitrus had shown her the Book, patiently
1271taking her through page after page, and showing her how such an Age was
1272"made." She had seen at once the differences between this archaic form
1273and the ordinary written speech of the D'ni, noting how it was not
1274merely more elaborate but more specific: a language of precise yet
1275subtle descriptive power. Yet seeing was one thing, believing another.
1276Given all the evidence, her rational mind still fought against accepting
1277it.
1278
dd15390c
Z
1279=head2 v5.17.0 - Charles Stross, "Singularity Sky"
1280
f51b9d59 1281L<Announced on 2012-05-26 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg187214.html>
dd15390c
Z
1282
1283`Welcome, comrades!' Burya opened his arms toward the soldier.
1284`Yes it is true! With help from our allies of the Festival, the iron
1285hand of the reactionary junta is about to be overthrown for all time!
1286The new economy is being born; the marginal cost of production has
1287been abolished, and from now on, if any item is produced once, it can
1288be replicated infinitely. From each according to his imagination,
1289to each according to his needs! Join us or better still, bring your
1290fellow soldiers and workers to join us!'
1291
1292There was a sharp bang from the roof of the Corn Exchange, right at the
1293climax of his impromptu speech; heads turned in alarm. Something had
1294broken inside the spork factory and a stream of rainbow-hued plastic
1295implements fountained toward the sky and clattered to the cobblestones
1296on every side, like a harbinger of the postindustrial society to come.
1297Workers and peasants alike stared in open-mouthed bewilderment at this
1298astounding display of productivity, then bent to scrabble in the muck
1299for the brightly colored sporks of revolution. A volley of shots rang
1300out and Burya Rubenstein raised his hands, grinning wildly, to accept
1301the salute of the soldiers from the Skull Hill garrison.
1302
c682aa67
SH
1303=head2 v5.16.3 - Devo, "Freedom of Choice"
1304
1305L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg200009.html>
1306
1307 A victim of collision on the open sea
1308 Nobody ever said that life was free
1309 Sink, swim, go down with the ship
1310 But use your freedom of choice
1311
1312=head2 v5.16.2 - Stanislaw Lem, "The Cyberiad", Trurl's Machine
1313
1314L<Announced on 2012-11-01 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg194915.html>
1315
1316Once upon a time Trurl the constructor built an eight-story thinking
1317machine. When it was finished, he gave it a coat of white paint,
1318trimmed the edges in lavender, stepped back, squinted, then added a
1319little curlicue on the front and, where one might imagine the forehead
1320to be, a few pale orange polkadots. Extremely pleased with himself,
1321he whistled an air and, as is always done on such occasions, asked it
1322the ritual question of how much is two plus two.
1323
1324The machine stirred. Its tubes began to glow, its coils warmed up,
1325current coursed through all its circuits like a waterfall,
1326transformers hummed and throbbed, there was a clanging, and a
1327chugging, and such an ungodly racket that Trurl began to think of
1328adding a special mentation muffler. Meanwhile the machine labored on,
1329as if it had been given the most difficult problem in the Universe to
1330solve; the ground shook, the sand slid underfoot from the vibration,
1331valves popped like champagne corks, the relays nearly gave way under
1332the strain. At last, when Trurl had grown extremely impatient, the
1333machine ground to a halt and said in a voice like thunder: SEVEN!
1334
2ee7da68 1335=head2 v5.16.1 - Emerald Rose, "Never Split The Party"
a210cc89 1336
6dab83b1 1337L<Announced on 2012-08-08 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190413.html>
a210cc89
RS
1338
1339 Don't you know? You never split the party
1340 Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty
1341 The wizard in the middle, where he can shed some light
1342 And you never let that damn thief out of sight…
1343
c33412d7 1344=head2 v5.16.1-RC1 - Tom Moldvay, Foreward to the "Dungeons & Dragons Basic Rulebook"
a210cc89 1345
6dab83b1 1346L<Announced on 2012-08-03 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/08/msg190264.html>
a210cc89
RS
1347
1348I was busy rescuing the captured maiden when the dragon showed up.
1349Fifty feed of scaled terror glared down at us with smoldering red eyes.
1350Tendrils of smoke drifted out from between fangs larger than daggers.
1351The dragon blocked the only exit from the cave.
1352
1353
1354
1355I unwrapped the sword which the mysterious cleric had given me. The
1356sword was golden-tinted steel. Its hilt was set with a rainbow
1357collection of precious gems. I shouted my battle cry and charged
1358
1359My charge caught the dragon by surprise. Its titanic jaws snapped shut
1360inches from my face. I swung the golden sword with both arms. The
1361swordblade bit into the dragon's neck and continued through to the other
1362side. With an earth-shaking crash, the dragon dropped dead at my feet.
1363The magic sword had saved my life and ended the reign of the
1364dragon-tyrant. The countryside was freed and I could return as a hero.
1365
2ee7da68 1366=head2 v5.16.0 - W.H. Auden, "September 1, 1939"
4c4c16b2 1367
6dab83b1 1368L<Announced on 2012-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/05/msg186903.html>
4c4c16b2 1369
a210cc89
RS
1370 All I have is a voice
1371 To undo the folded lie,
1372 The romantic lie in the brain
1373 Of the sensual man-in-the-street
1374 And the lie of Authority
1375 Whose buildings grope the sky:
1376 There is no such thing as the State
1377 And no one exists alone;
1378 Hunger allows no choice
1379 To the citizen or the police;
1380 We must love one another or die.
1381
2ee7da68 1382=head2 v5.15.9 - Bob Dylan, "Blowin' In The Wind"
54fdd2d6 1383
6dab83b1 1384L<Announced on 2012-03-20 by Abigail|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/03/msg184824.html>
a97faa3d 1385
4ed12d4a
SH
1386 How many roads must a man walk down
1387 Before you call him a man?
1388 Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
1389 Before she sleeps in the sand?
1390 Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannonballs fly
1391 Before they're forever banned?
1392 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1393 The answer is blowin' in the wind
1394
1395 How many years can a mountain exist
1396 Before it's washed to the sea?
1397 Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
1398 Before they're allowed to be free?
1399 Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
1400 Pretending he just doesn't see?
1401 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1402 The answer is blowin' in the wind
1403
1404 How many times must a man look up
1405 Before he can see the sky?
1406 Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
1407 Before he can hear people cry?
1408 Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
1409 That too many people have died?
1410 The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
1411 The answer is blowin' in the wind
54fdd2d6 1412
2ee7da68 1413=head2 v5.15.8 - The KLF, "The Manual-How To Have A Number One The Easy Way"
1f9d7ff5 1414
6dab83b1 1415L<Announced on 2012-02-20 by Max Maischein|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/02/msg183919.html>
1f9d7ff5
MM
1416
1417 "Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
1418 Doctor Who, in the Tardis
1419 Doctor Who, hey Doctor Who
1420 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who
1421 Doctor Who, Doc, Doctor Who"
1422
1423Gibberish of course, but every lad in the country under a certain
1424age related instinctively to what it was about. The ones slightly
1425older needed a couple of pints inside them to clear away the mind
1426debris left by the passing years before it made sense. As for
1427girls and our chorus, we think they must have seen it as pure crap.
1428A fact that must have limited to zero our chances of staying at The
1429Top for more than one week.
1430
1431Stock, Aitkin and Waterman, however, are kings of writing chorus
1432lyrics that go straight to the emotional heart of the 7" single
1433buying girls in this country. Their most successful records will kick
1434into the chorus with a line which encapsulates the entire emotional
1435meaning of the song. This will obviously be used as the title. As
1436soon as Rick Astley hit the first line of the chorus on his debut
1437single it was all over - the Number One position was guaranteed:
1438
1439 "I'm never going to give you up"
1440
2ee7da68 1441=head2 v5.15.7 - Penelope Lively, "The Voyage of QV66"
cf6bc744 1442
6dab83b1 1443L<Announced on 2012-01-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/01/msg182230.html>
cf6bc744
CBW
1444
1445"Laboratories," announced Henry. "Kindly don't touch anything."
1446
1447He led us into a long low brick shed. Outside there was a
1448notice on a piece of board, crudely printed in red paint,
1449which said GRATE SIENCE DISCOVERYS DONE HERE SSSH! BRING YOUR
1450OWN BUKKIT NO PINCHING ANYWUN ELSE'S EXPERRYMENTS CANTEEN OPEN
1451ALL DAY CHIMPS ONLY.
1452
1453There were a lot of large black monkeys inside, all intently
1454busy on what they were doing. Some of them were pouring stuff
1455out of bottles into buckets and carefully stirring the ensuing
1456mixture; others were at work with glass tubes and jars, blowing
1457and measuring and mixing; others were crouched over long benches
1458with tools and heaps of bits and pieces of metal, cutting and
1459bending and constructing. There was a great deal of noise and
1460chatter. Every now and then one of them would give a whoop of
1461excitement and all the others would gather round and jump up and
1462down cheering and applauding.
1463
1464"Chimps," said Henry. "They're awfully clever."
1465
2ee7da68 1466=head2 v5.15.6 - Ursula K. Leguin, "A Wizard of Earthsea"
b0d358f0 1467
6dab83b1 1468L<Announced on 2011-12-20 by Dave Rolsky|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/12/msg180962.html>
b0d358f0
DR
1469
1470Ged had thought that as the prentice of a great mage he would enter at once
1471into the mystery and mastery of power. He would understand the language of the
1472beasts and the speech of the leaves of the forest, he thought, and sway the
1473winds with his word, and learn to change himself into any shape he
1474wished. Maybe he and his master would run together as stags, or fly to Re Albi
1475over the mountain on the wings of eagles.
1476
1477But it was not so at all. They wandered, first down into the Vale and then
1478gradually south and westward around the mountain, given lodging in little
1479villages or spending the night out in the wilderness, like poor
1480journeyman-sorcerers, or tinkers, or beggars. They entered no mysterious
1481domain. Nothing happened. The mage's oaken staff that Ged had watched at first
1482with eager dread was nothing but a stout staff to walk with. Three days went
1483by and four days went by and still Ogion had not spoken a single charm in
1484Ged's hearing, and had not taught him a single name or rune or spell.
1485
2ee7da68 1486=head2 v5.15.5 - Nikolai Gogol, trans. Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, "The Diary of a Madman"
d0fc7727 1487
6dab83b1 1488L<Announced on 2011-11-20 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/11/msg179588.html>
d0fc7727
SH
1489
1490This day - is a day of the greatest solemnity! Spain has a king. He has
1491been found. I am that king. Only this very day did I learn of it. I
1492confess, it came to me suddenly in a flash of lightning. I don't understand
1493how I could have thought and imagined that I was a titular councillor. How
1494could such a wild notion enter my head? It's a good thing no one thought of
1495putting me in an insane asylum. Now everything is laid open before me. Now
1496I see everything as on the palm of my hand. And before, I don't understand,
1497before everything around me was in some sort of fog. And all this happens, I
1498think, because people imagine that the human brain is in the head. Not at
1499all: it is brought by a wind from the direction of the Caspian Sea. First
1500off, I announced to Mavra who I am. When she heard that the king of Spain
1501was standing before her, she clasped her hands and nearly died of fright.
1502The stupid woman had never seen a king of Spain before. However, I
1503endeavoured to calm her down and assured her in gracious words of my
1504benevolence and that I was not at all angry that she sometimes polished my
1505boots poorly. They're benighted folk. It's impossible to tell them about
1506lofty matters. She got frightened because she's convinced that all kings of
1507Spain are like Philip II. But I explained to her that there was no
1508resemblance between me and Philip II, and that I didn't have a single
1509Capuchin . . . I didn't go to the office . . . To hell with it! No friends,
1510you won't lure me there now; I'm not going to copy your vile papers!
1511
1542e678
FR
1512=head2 v5.15.4 - Steve Jobs
1513
6dab83b1 1514L<Announced on 2011-10-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/10/msg178412.html>
1542e678
FR
1515
1516A lot of people in our industry haven't had very diverse experiences. So they
1517don't have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions
1518without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one's understanding of
1519the human experience, the better design we will have.
1520
2ee7da68 1521=head2 v5.15.3 - Oscar Wilde, From the preface to "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
607b15aa 1522
6dab83b1 1523L<Announced on 2011-09-20 by Stevan Little|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177427.html>
ca420de3 1524
4ed12d4a
SH
1525All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath
1526the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol
1527do so at their peril.
607b15aa 1528
4ed12d4a
SH
1529It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.
1530Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the
1531work is new, complex, and vital. When critics disagree, the
1532artist is in accord with himself.
607b15aa 1533
4ed12d4a
SH
1534We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as
1535he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless
1536thing is that one admires it intensely.
607b15aa 1537
4ed12d4a 1538All art is quite useless.
607b15aa 1539
2ee7da68 1540=head2 v5.15.2 - Rainer Maria Rilke, trans., C. F. MacIntyre, "Duino", The First Elegy
bfb65171 1541
6dab83b1 1542L<Announced on 2011-08-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/08/msg176067.html>
bfb65171 1543
5814c912
RS
1544 True, it is strange to live no more on earth,
1545 no longer follow the folkways scarecely learned;
1546 not to give roses and other especially auspicious
1547 things the significance of a human future;
1548 to be no more what one was in infinitely anxious hands,
1549 and to put aside even one's name, like a broken plaything.
1550 Strange, to wish wishes no longer. Strange, to see
1551 all that was related fluttering so loosely in space.
1552 And being dead is hard, full of catching-up,
1553 so that finally one feels a little eternity.–
1554 But the living all make the mistake of too sharp discrimination.
1555 Often angels (it's said) don't know if they move
1556 among the quick or the dead. The eternal current
1557 hurtles all ages along with it forever
1558 through both realms and drowns their voices in both.
bfb65171 1559
1889cb12
Z
1560=head2 v5.15.1 - Greg Egan, "Permutation City"
1561
2ccefb8a 1562L<Announced on 2011-07-20 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/07/msg175014.html>
1889cb12
Z
1563
1564Carter held out a hand towards the middle of the room. `See that
1565fountain?' A ten-metre-wide marble wedding cake, topped with a
1566winged cherub wrestling a serpent, duly appeared. Water cascaded
1567down from a gushing wound in the cherub's neck. Carter said, `It's
1568being computed by redundancies in the sketch of the city. I can
1569extract the results, because I know exactly where to look for them --
1570but nobody else would have a hope in hell of picking them out.'
1571
1572Peer walked up to the fountain. Even as he approached, he noticed
1573that the spray was intangible; when he dipped his hand in the water
1574around the base he felt nothing, and the motion he made with his
1575fingers left the foaming surface unchanged. They were spying on
1576the calculations, not interacting with them; the fountain was a
1577closed system.
1578
1579Carter said, `In your case, of course, nobody will need to know
1580the results. Except you -- and you'll know them because you'll
1581/be/ them.'
1582
452ead5e
DG
1583=head2 v5.15.0 - Neil Gaiman, "The Graveyard Book"
1584
1585L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173748.html>
1586
4ed12d4a 1587If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.
452ead5e 1588
c682aa67 1589=head2 v5.14.4 - Arthur C. Clarke, "The Nine Billion Names of God"
b3c5102d 1590
c682aa67 1591L<Announced on 2013-03-11 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2013/03/msg199988.html>
b3c5102d 1592
c682aa67
SH
1593He began to sing, but gave it up after a while. This vast arena of
1594mountains, gleaming like whitely hooded ghosts on every side, did not
1595encourage such ebullience. Presently George glanced at his watch.
1596
1597'Should be there in an hour,' he called back over his shoulder to
1598Chuck. Then he added, in an afterthought: 'Wonder if the computer's
1599finished its run. It was due about now.'
1600
1601Chuck didn't reply, so George swung round in his saddle. He could just
1602see Chuck's face, a white oval turned towards the sky.
1603
1604'Look,' whispered Chuck, and George lifted his eyes to heaven. (There
1605is always a last time for everything.)
1606
1607Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.
1608
1609=head2 v5.14.3 - William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
1610
1611L<Announced on 2012-10-12 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/10/msg194057.html>
1612
1613 The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all
1614 this time there was not any man died in his own person,
1615 videlicit, in a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed
1616 out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he could to die
1617 before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he
1618 would have lived many a fair year, though Hero had turned
1619 nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good
1620 youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont and
1621 being taken with the cramp was drowned and the foolish
1622 coroners of that age found it was 'Hero of Sestos.' But these
1623 are all lies: men have died from time to time and worms have
1624 eaten them, but not for love.
1625
1626=head2 v5.14.2 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
1627
1628L<Announced on 2011-09-26 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/09/msg177618.html>
1629
1630It's not so much that people don't value the programs after they have them--they
1631do value them. But they're not the sort of thing that would ever catch on if
1632they had to overcome the marketing barrier. (I don't yet know if perl will
1633catch on at all--I'm worried enough about it that I specifically included an
1634awk-to-perl translator just to help it catch on.) Maybe it's all just an
1635inferiority complex. Or maybe I don't like to be mercenary.
1636
1637So I guess I'd say that the reason some software comes free is that the
1638mechanism for selling it is missing, either from the work environment, or from
1639the heart of the programmer.
b3c5102d 1640
c684cf36 1641=head2 v5.14.1 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
901b3fdb
LB
1642
1643L<Announced on 2011-06-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173650.html>
1644
1645At this point I'm no longer working for a company that makes me sign
1646my life away, but by now I'm in the habit. Besides, I still harbor
1647the deep-down suspicion that nobody would pay money for what I write,
1648since most of it just helps you do something better that you could
1649already do some other way. How much money would you personally pay
1650to upgrade from readnews to rn? How much money would you pay for
1651the patch program? As for warp, it's a mere game. And anything you
1652can do with perl you can eventually do with an amazing and totally
1653unreadable conglomeration of awk, sed, sh and C.
1654
c684cf36 1655=head2 v5.14.0 - L<< Larry Wall, January 12, 1988 <992@devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> |http://groups.google.com/group/comp.sources.d/msg/5d17fa68c250b9b2 >>
8b55b028
ZA
1656
1657L<Announced on 2011-05-14 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172326.html>
1658
1659At the start of any project, I'm programming primarily to please
1660myself. (The two chief virtues in a programmer are laziness and
1661impatience.) After a while somebody looks over my shoulder and says,
1662"That's neat. It'd be neater if it did such-and-so." So the thing
1663gets neater. Pretty soon (a year or two) I have an rn, a warp, a patch,
1664or a perl. One of these years I'll have a metaconfig.
1665
1666I then say to myself, "I don't want my life's work to die when this
1667computer is scrapped, so I should let some other people use this. If I
1668ask my company to sell this, it'll never see the light of day, and nobody
1669would pay much for it anyway. If I sell it myself, I'll be in trouble with
1670my company, to whom I signed my life away when I was hired. If I give it
1671away, I can pretend it was worthless in the first place, so my company
1672won't care. In any event, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."
1673
1674So a freely distributable program is born.
1675
1676=head2 v5.14.0-RC3 - American Airlines Gate Agent, last call
1677
1678L<Announced on 2011-05-11 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg172282.html>
1679
1680This is the last call for flight 1697 with service to Chicago and
1681continuing service to San Francisco. All passengers should already be
1682aboard. If you aren't aboard at this time, you will be denied boarding
1683and your bags will be offloaded.
1684
2ee7da68 1685=head2 v5.14.0-RC2 - Greg Grandin, "Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City"
8b55b028
ZA
1686
1687L<Announced on 2011-05-04 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/05/msg171879.html>
1688
1689Over the course of nearly two decades, Ford would spend tens of millions
1690of dollars founding not one but, after the plantation was defastated
1691by leaf blight, two American towns, complete with central squares,
1692sidewalks, indoor plumbing, hospitals, manicured lawns, movie theaters,
1693swimming pools, golf courses, and, of course, Model Ts and As rolling
1694down their paved streets.
1695
1696Back in America, newspapers kept up their drumbeat celebration, only
1697obliquely referencing reports that things were not progressing as the
1698company had hoped. But there was one note of skepticism. In late 1928,
1699the Washington Post ran an editorial that read in its entirety: "Ford will
1700govern a rubber plantation in Brazil larger than North Carolina. This is
1701the first time he has applied quantity production methods to trouble"
1702
1703=head2 v5.14.0-RC1 - Bill Bryson, "In a Sunburned Country"
1704
1705L<Announced on 2011-04-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/04/msg171253.html>
1706
1707But then Australia is such a difficult country to keep track of. On
1708my first visit, some years ago, I passed the time on the long flight
1709reading a history of Australian politics in the twentieth century,
1710wherein I encountered the startling fact that in 1967 the prime minister,
1711Harold Holt, was strolling along a beach in Victoria when he plunged into
1712the surf and vanished. No trace of the poor man was ever seen again.
b86ac955 1713This seemed doubly astounding to me—first that Australia could
8b55b028
ZA
1714just I<lose> a prime minister (I mean, come on) and second that news of
1715this had never reached me.
1716
2ee7da68 1717=head2 v5.13.11 - Walt Whitman, L<"Leaves of Grass"|http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaves_of_Grass>
04496198 1718
f3d08688 1719L<Announced on 2011-03-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/03/msg170206.html>
04496198
FR
1720
1721 When the full-grown poet came,
1722 Out spake pleased Nature (the round impassive globe, with all its
1723 shows of day and night,) saying, He is mine;
1724 But out spake too the Soul of man, proud, jealous and unreconciled,
1725 Nay he is mine alone;
1726 --Then the full-grown poet stood between the two, and took each
1727 by the hand;
c2a00619
KW
1728 And to-day and ever so stands, as blender, uniter, tightly
1729 holding hands,
04496198
FR
1730 Which he will never release until he reconciles the two,
1731 And wholly and joyously blends them.
1732
2ee7da68 1733=head2 v5.13.10 - Egill Skalla-Grímsson, L<"Egils saga Skalla-Grímssonar"|http://www.heimskringla.no/wiki/Egils_saga_Skalla-Gr%C3%ADmssonar>
f1e17f6f 1734
fbc70a9e 1735L<Announced on 2011-02-20 by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/02/msg169340.html>
30688243 1736
4ed12d4a
SH
1737 Skalat maðr rúnar rísta,
1738 nema ráða vel kunni.
1739 Þat verðr mörgum manni,
1740 es of myrkvan staf villisk.
1741 Sák á telgðu talkni
1742 tíu launstafi ristna.
1743 Þat hefr lauka lindi
1744 langs ofrtrega fengit.
30688243 1745
79af17bd
AB
1746=head2 v5.13.9 - John F Kennedy, L<Inaugural Address January 20, 1961|http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy%27s_Inaugural_Address>
1747
1748L<Announced on 2011-01-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168335.html>
1749
1750In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been
1751granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I
1752do not shrink from this responsibility -- I welcome it. I do not believe
1753that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other
1754generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this
1755endeavor will light our country and all who serve it. And the glow from
1756that fire can truly light the world.
1757
1758And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you;
1759ask what you can do for your country.
1760
1761My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you,
1762but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
1763
1764Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world,
1765ask of us here the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which
1766we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history
1767the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love,
1768asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's
1769work must truly be our own.
1770
94521723
Z
1771=head2 v5.13.8 - Roger Williams, L<"The Fifth Gift"|http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/8/19/21304/8493>
1772
2831a86c
ZA
1773L<Announced on 2010-12-19 by Zefram|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/12/msg167271.html>
1774
94521723
Z
1775The aliens called the box a "matter generator," but we'd be more inclined
1776to call it a matter duplicator. By connecting switches and potentiometers
1777between the copper posts it was possible to make the box mark off two
1778cubic rectangular areas of volume. Make a certain contact, and these
1779areas would be isolated within perfectly reflective fields. They could
1780be expanded or contracted by altering resistances between other posts.
1781As I worked out the user interface I built a little control panel for
1782the device. It was actually a clever way for the aliens to do things;
1783instead of trying to build controls we could use, they built us an
1784interface we could attach to controls that made sense to us. It could
1785also be automated.
1786
1787Once you had made the contact that established the shielded volumes,
1788if you made another certain contact the contents of the first volume
1789were copied to the second. The machine copied metal, plastic, steel,
1790and diamond with equal ease. Copies of copies of copies of copies were
1791indistinguishable from the originals at any magnification, even using
1792techniques like X-ray crystallography.
1793
2ee7da68 1794=head2 v5.13.7 - Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski, "The Matrix"
6b1649d0 1795
2831a86c
ZA
1796L<Announced on 2010-11-20 by Chris 'BinGOs' Williams|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/11/msg166162.html>
1797
6b1649d0
CBW
1798[Neo sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one]
1799
5814c912 1800 Neo: Whoa. Deja vu.
6b1649d0
CBW
1801
1802[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
1803
5814c912
RS
1804 Trinity: What did you just say?
1805 Neo: Nothing. Just had a little deja vu.
1806 Trinity: What did you see?
1807 Cypher: What happened?
89550e55
RS
1808 Neo: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just
1809 like it.
5814c912
RS
1810 Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
1811 Neo: It might have been. I'm not sure.
1812 Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
1813 Neo: What is it?
89550e55
RS
1814 Trinity: A deja vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when
1815 they change something.
6b1649d0 1816
54cc2c9a
TM
1817=head2 v5.13.6 - Haruki Murakami, "Kafka on the Shore"
1818
2831a86c
ZA
1819L<Announced on 2010-10-20 by Tatsuhiko Miyagawa|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/10/msg165183.html>
1820
54cc2c9a
TM
1821The boy called Crow softly rests a hand on my shoulder, and with that
1822he storm vanishes.
1823
1824"From now on -- no matter what -- you've got to be the world's toughest
1825fifteen-year-old. That's the only way you're going to survive. And in order
1826to do that, you've got to figure out what it means to be tough. You following
1827me?"
1828
1829I keep my eyes closed and don't reply. I just want to sink off into sleep
1830like this, his hand on my shoulder. I hear the faint flutter of wings.
1831
1832"You're going to be the world's toughest fifteen-year-old," Crow whispers
1833as I try to fall asleep. Like he was carving the words in a deep blue tattoo
1834on my heart.
1835
1836(Translated from Japanese by Philip Gabriel)
1837
f6c56125
SH
1838=head2 v5.13.5 - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, "The Room in the Dragon Volant"
1839
2831a86c
ZA
1840L<Announced on 2010-09-19 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg164238.html>
1841
f6c56125
SH
1842Candle in hand I stepped in. I do not know whether the quality of
1843air, long undisturbed, is peculiar; to me it has always seemed so, and
1844the damp smell of the old masonry hung in this atmosphere. My candle
1845faintly lighted the bare stone wall that enclosed the stair, the foot
1846of which I could not see. Down I went, and a few turns brought me to
1847the stone floor. Here was another door, of the simple, old, oak kind,
1848deep sunk in the thickness of the wall. The large end of the key
1849fitted this. The lock was stiff; I set the candle down upon the
1850stair, and applied both hands; it turned with difficulty, and as it
1851revolved, uttered a shriek that alarmed me for my secret.
1852
1853For some minutes I did not move. In a little time, however, I took
1854courage, and opened the door. The night-air floating in puffed out
1855the candle. There was a thicket of holly and underwood, as dense as a
1856jungle, close about the door. I should have been in pitch-darkness,
1857were it not that through the topmost leaves there twinkled, here and
1858there, a glimmer of moonshine.
1859
1860Softly, lest any one should have opened his window at the sound of the
1861rusty bolt, I struggled through this till I gained a view of the open
1862grounds. Here I found that the brushwood spread a good way up the
1863park, uniting with the wood that approached the little temple I have
806849f8 1864described.
f6c56125 1865
fdea69f9
FR
1866=head2 v5.13.4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
1867
2831a86c
ZA
1868L<Announced on 2010-08-20 by Florian Ragwitz|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163150.html>
1869
fdea69f9
FR
1870`How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!' thought Alice;
1871`I might as well be at school at once.' However, she got up, and began to repeat
1872it, but her head was so full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
1873she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--
1874
4ed12d4a
SH
1875 "'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
1876 "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
1877 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
1878 Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
fdea69f9
FR
1879
1880
1881`That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the Gryphon.
1882
1883`Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but it sounds uncommon
1884nonsense.'
1885
1886Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands, wondering if
1887anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
1888
1889`I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
1890
1891`She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. `Go on with the next verse.'
1892
1893`But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. `How could he turn them out
1894with his nose, you know?'
1895
1896`It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully puzzled by
1897the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
1898
0feeb912
DG
1899=head2 v5.13.3 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, "Good Omens"
1900
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ZA
1901L<Announced on 2010-07-20 by David Golden|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/07/msg162230.html>
1902
0feeb912
DG
1903Look at Crowley, doing 110 mph on the M40 heading towards
1904Oxfordshire. Even the most resolutely casual observer would
1905notice a number of strange things about him. The clenched teeth,
1906for example, or the dull red glow coming from behind his
1907sunglasses. And the car. The car was a definite hint.
1908
1909Crowley had started the journey in his Bentley, and he was
1910dammned if he wasn't going to finish it in the Bentley as well.
1911Not that even the kind of car buff who owns his own pair of
1912motoring goggles would have been able to tell it was a vintage
1913Bentley. Not any more. They wouldn't have been able to tell
1914that it was a Bentley. They would only offer fifty-fifty that it
1915had ever even been a car.
1916
1917There was no paint left on it, for a start. It might still have
1918been black, where it wasn't a rusty, smudged reddish-brown, but
1919this was a dull charcoal black. It traveled in its own ball of
1920flame, like a space capsule making a particularly difficult
1921re-entry.
1922
1923There was a thin skin of crusted, melted rubber left around the
1924metal wheel rims, but seeing that the wheel rims were still
1925somhow riding an inch above the road surface this didn't seem to
1926make an awful lot of difference to the suspension.
1927
1928It should have fallen apart miles back.
1929
3c55f444
MT
1930=head2 v5.13.2 - Iain M Banks, "Use of Weapons"
1931
2831a86c
ZA
1932L<Announced on 2010-06-22 by Matt S Trout|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/06/msg161112.html>
1933
51caa79e
DG
1934We deal in the moral equivalent of black holes, where the normal laws -
1935the rules of right and wrong that people imagine apply everywhere else
1936in the universe - break down; beyond those metaphysical event-horizons,
3c55f444
MT
1937there exist ... special circumstances.
1938
1939=head2 v5.13.1 - Miguel de Unamuno, "The Sepulchre of Don Quixote"
d069c093 1940
2831a86c
ZA
1941L<Announced on 2010-05-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160275.html>
1942
d069c093
RS
1943And if anyone shall come to you and say that he knows how to construct
1944bridges and that perhaps a time will come when you will wish to avail
1945yourself of his science in order to cross over a river, out with him! Out
1946with the engineer! Rivers will be crossed by wading or swimming them, even
1947if half the crusaders drown themselves. Let the engineer go off and build
1948bridges somewhere else, where they are badly wanted. For those who go in
1949quest of the sepulchre, faith is bridge enough.
1950
c7bed260
Z
1951=head2 v5.13.0 - Jules Verne, "A Journey to the Centre of the Earth"
1952
1953L<Announced on 2010-04-20 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg159275.html>
1954
1955The heat still remained at quite a supportable degree. With an
1956involuntary shudder, I reflected on what the heat must have been
1957when the volcano of Sneffels was pouring its smoke, flames, and
1958streams of boiling lava -- all of which must have come up by the
1959road we were now following. I could imagine the torrents of hot
1960seething stone darting on, bubbling up with accompaniments of
1961smoke, steam, and sulphurous stench!
1962
1963"Only to think of the consequences," I mused, "if the old
1964volcano were once more to set to work."
1965
c682aa67
SH
1966=head2 v5.12.5 - William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure"
1967
1968L<Announced on 2012-11-10 by Dominic Hargreaves|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2012/11/msg195171.html>
1969
1970 Music oft hath such a charm
1971 To make bad good, and good provoke to harm.
1972
1973=head2 v5.12.4 - William Schwenck Gilbert, "Trial By Jury"
1974
1975L<Announced on 2011-06-20 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173725.html>
1976
1977 You cannot eat breakfast all day,
1978 Nor is it the act of a sinner,
1979 When breakfast is taken away,
1980 To turn his attention to dinner;
1981 And it's not in the range of belief,
1982 To look upon him as a glutton,
1983 Who, when he is tired of beef,
1984 Determines to tackle the mutton.
1985 Ah! But this I am willing to say,
1986 If it will appease her sorrow,
1987 I'll marry this lady today,
1988 And I'll marry the other tomorrow!
1989
1990=head2 v5.12.4-RC2 - James Russell Lowell, "Eleanor makes macaroons"
1991
1992L<Announced on 2011-06-15 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173609.html>
1993
1994 Now for sugar, -- nay, our plan
1995 Tolerates no work of man.
1996 Hurry, then, ye golden bees;
1997 Fetch your clearest honey, please,
1998 Garnered on a Yorkshire moor,
1999 While the last larks sing and soar,
2000 From the heather-blossoms sweet
2001 Where sea-breeze and sunshine meet,
2002 And the Augusts mask as Junes, --
2003 Eleanor makes macaroons!
2004
2005=head2 v5.12.4-RC1 - Ogden Nash, "The Clean Plater"
2006
2007L<Announced on 2011-06-08 by Leon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/06/msg173352.html>
2008
2009 Pheasant is pleasant, of course,
2010 And terrapin, too, is tasty,
2011 Lobster I freely endorse,
2012 In pate or patty or pasty.
2013 But there's nothing the matter with butter,
2014 And nothing the matter with jam,
2015 And the warmest greetings I utter
2016 To the ham and the yam and the clam.
2017 For they're food,
2018 All food,
2019 And I think very fondly of food.
2020 Through I'm broody at times
2021 When bothered by rhymes,
2022 I brood
2023 On food.
2024
c7bed260
Z
2025=head2 v5.12.3 - Howard W. Campbell, Jr., "Reflections on Not Participating in Current Events"
2026
2027L<Announced on 2011-01-21 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2011/01/msg168368.html>
2028
2029 I saw a huge steam roller,
2030 It blotted out the sun.
2031 The people all lay down, lay down;
2032 They did not try to run.
2033 My love and I, we looked amazed
2034 Upon the gory mystery.
2035 'Lie down, lie down!' the people cried.
2036 'The great machine is history!'
2037 My love and I, we ran away,
2038 The engine did not find us.
2039 We ran up to a mountain top,
2040 Left history far behind us.
2041 Perhaps we should have stayed and died,
2042 But somehow we don't think so.
2043 We went to see where history'd been,
2044 And my, the dead did stink so.
2045
2046=head2 v5.12.2 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
2047
2048L<Announced on 2010-09-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/09/msg163852.html>
2049
2050CPUs. Cayce Pollard Units. That's what Damien calls the clothing
2051she wears. CPUs are either black, white, or gray, and ideally
2052seem to have come into this world without human intervention.
2053
2054What people take for relentless minimalism is a side effect
2055of too much exposure to the reactor-cores of fashion. This
2056has resulted in a remorseless paring-down of what she can and
2057will wear. She is, literally, allergic to fashion. She can
2058only tolerate things that could have been worn, to a general
2059lack of comment, during any year between 1945 and 2000. She's a
2060design-free zone, a one-woman school of and whose very austerity
2061periodically threatens to spawn its own cult.
2062
2063=head2 v5.12.2-RC1 - William Gibson, "Pattern Recognition"
2064
2065L<Announced on 2010-08-31 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/08/msg163670.html>
2066
2067The front page opens, familiar as a friend's living room. A frame-grab
2068from #48 serves as backdrop, dim and almost monochrome, no characters in
2069view. This is one of the sequences that generate comparisons with
2070Tarkovsky. She only knows Tarkovsky from stills, really, though she did
2071once fall asleep during a screening of The Stalker, going under on an
2072endless pan, the camera aimed straight down, in close-up, at a puddle on
2073a ruined mosaic floor. But she is not one of those who think that much
2074will be gained by analysis of the maker's imagined influences. The cult
2075of the footage is rife with subcults, claiming every possible influence.
2076Truffaut, Peckinpah -- The Peckinpah people, among the least likely, are
2077still waiting for the guns to be drawn.
2078
4363636d
DG
2079=head2 v5.12.1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2080
2831a86c
ZA
2081L<Announced on 2010-05-16 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160109.html>
2082
4363636d
DG
2083"Now suppose," chortled Dr. Breed, enjoying himself, "that there were
2084many possible ways in which water could crystallize, could freeze.
d517a16a
Z
2085Suppose that the sort of ice we skate upon and put into highballs --
2086what we might call ice-one -- is only one of several types of ice.
4363636d
DG
2087Suppose water always froze as ice-one on Earth because it had never
2088had a seed to teach it how to form ice-two, ice-three, ice-four
2089...? And suppose," he rapped on his desk with his old hand again,
d517a16a
Z
2090"that there were one form, which we will call ice-nine -- a crystal as
2091hard as this desk -- with a melting point of, let us say, one-hundred
4363636d
DG
2092degrees Fahrenheit, or, better still, a melting point of one-hundred-
2093and-thirty degrees."
2094
4363636d
DG
2095=head2 v5.12.1-RC2 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2096
2831a86c
ZA
2097L<Announced on 2010-05-13 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg160066.html>
2098
4363636d
DG
2099San Lorenzo was fifty miles long and twenty miles wide, I learned from
2100the supplement to the New York Sunday Times. Its population was four
2101hundred, fifty thousand souls, "...all fiercely dedicated to the ideals
2102of the Free World."
2103
2104Its highest point, Mount McCabe, was eleven thousand feet above sea
2105level. Its capital was Bolivar, "...a strikingly modern city built on a
2106harbor capable of sheltering the entire United States Navy." The principal
2107exports were sugar, coffee, bananas, indigo, and handcrafted novelties.
2108
2831a86c
ZA
2109=head2 v5.12.1-RC1 - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
2110
2111L<Announced on 2010-05-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/05/msg159971.html>
4363636d 2112
4363636d
DG
2113Which brings me to the Bokononist concept of a wampeter. A wampeter is
2114the pivot of a karass. No karass is without a wampeter, Bokonon tells us,
2115just as no wheel is without a hub. Anything can be a wampeter: a tree,
2116a rock, an animal, an idea, a book, a melody, the Holy Grail. Whatever
2117it is, the members of its karass revolve about it in the majestic chaos
2118of a spiral nebula. The orbits of the members of a karass about their
2119common wampeter are spiritual orbits, naturally. It is souls and not
2120bodies that revolve. As Bokonon invites us to sing:
2121
4ed12d4a
SH
2122 Around and around and around we spin,
2123 With feet of lead and wings of tin . . .
4363636d 2124
4363636d
DG
2125=head2 v5.12.0 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2126
2831a86c
ZA
2127L<Announced on 2010-04-12 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158820.html>
2128
4363636d
DG
2129'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
2130not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
2131your cat grins like that?'
2132
2133'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
2134
2135She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
2136jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
2137and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
2138
2139'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
2140that cats COULD grin.'
2141
2142'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
2143
4363636d
DG
2144=head2 v5.12.0-RC5 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2145
2831a86c
ZA
2146L<Announced on 2010-04-09 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158720.html>
2147
4363636d
DG
2148'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
2149have got altered.'
2150
2151'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
2152there was silence for some minutes.
2153
4363636d
DG
2154=head2 v5.12.0-RC4 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2155
2831a86c
ZA
2156L<Announced on 2010-04-06 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158567.html>
2157
4363636d
DG
2158'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
2159always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
2160rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
2161yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
2162can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
2163kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
2164
4363636d
DG
2165=head2 v5.12.0-RC3 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
2166
2831a86c
ZA
2167L<Announced on 2010-04-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/04/msg158346.html>
2168
4363636d
DG
2169At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
2170called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
2171dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
2172in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
2173sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
2174
2175'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
2176is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
2177the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
2178to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
2179accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
d517a16a 2180Mercia and Northumbria --"'
4363636d 2181
2831a86c 2182=head2 v5.12.0-RC2 - no announcement
4363636d 2183
2831a86c 2184Available on CPAN since 2010-04-01.
4363636d 2185
3e340399 2186=head2 v5.12.0-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
4363636d 2187
2831a86c
ZA
2188L<Announced on 2010-03-29 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg158060.html>
2189
4363636d
DG
2190So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
2191hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of
2192making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
2193picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
2194close by her.
2195
2196There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
2197VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh
2198dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
2199occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
2200it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
2201OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
2202Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
2203never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to
2204take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
2205after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
2206rabbit-hole under the hedge.
2207
2208In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
2209in the world she was to get out again.
2210
0e6b8110 2211=head2 v5.12.0-RC0 - no epigraph
4363636d 2212
2831a86c 2213L<Announced on 2020-03-21 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/03/msg157761.html>
4363636d 2214
3e340399 2215=head2 v5.11.5 - Samuel Taylor Coleridge, "Christabel"
4363636d 2216
2831a86c
ZA
2217L<Announced on 2010-02-21 by Steve Hay|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/02/msg156957.html>
2218
4ed12d4a
SH
2219 A little child, a limber elf,
2220 Singing, dancing to itself,
2221 A fairy thing with red round cheeks,
2222 That always finds, and never seeks,
2223 Makes such a vision to the sight
2224 As fills a father's eyes with light;
2225 And pleasures flow in so thick and fast
2226 Upon his heart, that he at last
2227 Must needs express his love's excess
2228 With words of unmeant bitterness.
2229 Perhaps 'tis pretty to force together
2230 Thoughts so all unlike each other;
2231 To mutter and mock a broken charm,
2232 To dally with wrong that does no harm.
2233 Perhaps 'tis tender too and pretty
2234 At each wild word to feel within
2235 A sweet recoil of love and pity.
2236 And what, if in a world of sin
2237 (O sorrow and shame should this be true!)
2238 Such giddiness of heart and brain
2239 Comes seldom save from rage and pain,
2240 So talks as it's most used to do.
4363636d 2241
4363636d
DG
2242=head2 v5.11.4 - Fyodor Dostoevsky, "Crime and Punishment"
2243
2831a86c
ZA
2244L<Announced on 2010-01-20 by Ricardo Signes|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2010/01/msg155848.html>
2245
4363636d
DG
2246And you don't suppose that I went into it headlong like a fool? I went
2247into it like a wise man, and that was just my destruction. And you
2248mustn't suppose that I didn't know, for instance, that if I began to
2249question myself whether I had the right to gain power -- I certainly
2250hadn't the right -- or that if I asked myself whether a human being is a
2251louse it proved that it wasn't so for me, though it might be for a man
2252who would go straight to his goal without asking questions.... If I
2253worried myself all those days, wondering whether Napoleon would have
2254done it or not, I felt clearly of course that I wasn't Napoleon.
2255
4363636d
DG
2256=head2 v5.11.3 - Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
2257
2831a86c
ZA
2258L<Announced on 2009-12-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/12/msg154838.html>
2259
4363636d 2260"Say -- I'm going in a swimming, I am. Don't you wish you could? But of
d517a16a 2261course you'd druther work -- wouldn't you? Course you would!"
4363636d
DG
2262
2263Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said: "What do you call work?"
2264
2265"Why ain't that work?"
2266
2267Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly: "Well, maybe it
2268is, and maybe it aint. All I know, is, it suits Tom Sawyer."
2269
2270"Oh come, now, you don't mean to let on that you like it?"
2271
2272The brush continued to move. "Like it? Well I don't see why I oughtn't
2273to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?"
2274
2275That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom
2276swept his brush daintily back and forth -- stepped back to note the effect
2277-- added a touch here and there-criticised the effect again -- Ben
2278watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more
2279absorbed. Presently he said: "Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little."
2280
4363636d
DG
2281=head2 v5.11.2 - Michael Marshall Smith, "Only Forward"
2282
f0ccce9b 2283L<Announced on 2009-11-20 by Léon Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/11/msg153646.html>
2831a86c 2284
4363636d
DG
2285The streets were pretty quiet, which was nice. They're always quiet here
2286at that time: you have to be wearing a black jacket to be out on the
2287streets between seven and nine in the evening, and not many people in
2288the area have black jackets. It's just one of those things. I currently
2289live in Colour Neighbourhood, which is for people who are heavily into
2290colour. All the streets and buildings are set for instant colourmatch:
2291as you walk down the road they change hue to offset whatever you're
2292wearing. When the streets are busy it's kind of intense, and anyone
2293prone to epileptic seizures isn't allowed to live in the Neighbourhood,
2294however much they're into colour.
2295
4363636d
DG
2296=head2 v5.11.1 - Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
2297
2831a86c
ZA
2298L<Announced on 2009-10-20 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg152360.html>
2299
4363636d
DG
2300Milo had been caught red-handed in the act of plundering his countrymen,
2301and, as a result, his stock had never been higher. He proved good as his
2302word when a rawboned major from Minnesota curled his lip in rebellious
2303disavowal and demanded his share of the syndicate Milo kept saying
2304everybody owned. Milo met the challenge by writing the words "A Share"
2305on the nearest scrap of paper and handing it away with a virtuous disdain
2306that won the envy and admiration of almost everyone who knew him. His
2307glory was at a peak, and Colonel Cathcart, who knew and admired his
b10ee209 2308war record, was astonished by the deferential humility with which Milo
4363636d
DG
2309presented himself at Group Headquarters and made his fantastic appeal
2310for more hazardous assignment.
2311
4363636d
DG
2312=head2 v5.11.0 - Mikhail Bulgakov, "The Master and Margarita"
2313
2831a86c
ZA
2314L<Announced on 2009-10-02 by Jesse Vincent|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/10/msg151376.html>
2315
4363636d
DG
2316Whispers of an "evil power" were heard in lines at dairy shops, in
2317streetcars, stores, arguments, kitchens, suburban and long-distance
2318trains, at stations large and small, in dachas and on beaches. Needless
2319to say, truly mature and cultured people did not tell these stories
2320about an evil power's visit to the capital. In fact, they even made fun
2321of them and tried to talk sense into those who told them. Nevertheless,
2322facts are facts, as they say, and cannot simply be dismissed without
2323explanation: somebody had visited the capital. The charred cinders of
2324Griboyedov alone, and many other things besides, confirmed it. Cultured
2325people shared the point of view of the investigating team: it was the
2326work of a gang of hypnotists and ventriloquists magnificently skilled in
2327their art.
2328
4363636d
DG
2329=head2 v5.10.1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2330
dd047fac 2331L<Announced on 2009-08-23 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150172.html>
2831a86c 2332
4363636d
DG
2333'Briefly, sir, I am the Permanent Under-Secretary of State, known as
2334the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private
2335Secretary. I, too, have a Principal Private Secretary, and he is the
2336Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly
2337responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, eighty-seven Under
2338Secretaries and two hundred and nineteen Assistant Secretaries.
2339Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain
2340Private Secretaries. The Prime Minister will be appointing two
2341Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own
2342Parliamentary Private Secretary.'
2343
2344'Can they all type?' I joked.
2345
2346'None of us can type, Minister,' replied Sir Humphrey smoothly. 'Mrs
2347McKay types - she is your Secretary.'
2348
2349I couldn't tell whether or not he was joking. 'What a pity,' I said.
2350'We could have opened an agency.'
2351
2352Sir Humphrey and Bernard laughed. 'Very droll, sir,' said Sir
2353Humphrey. 'Most amusing, sir,' said Bernard. Were they genuinely
2354amused at my wit, or just being rather patronising? 'I suppose they
2355all say that, do they?' I ventured.
2356
2357Sir Humphrey reassured me on that. 'Certainly not, Minister,' he
2358replied. 'Not quite all.'
2359
0e6b8110 2360=head2 v5.10.1-RC2 - no epigraph
4363636d 2361
2831a86c 2362L<Announced on 2009-08-18 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg150015.html>
3e340399 2363
0e6b8110 2364=head2 v5.10.1-RC1 - no epigraph
4363636d 2365
2831a86c 2366L<Announced on 2009-08-06 by Dave Mitchell|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/08/msg149498.html>
3e340399 2367
c7bed260 2368=head2 v5.10.0 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
4363636d 2369
c7bed260
Z
2370L<Announced on 2007-12-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/12/msg131636.html>
2371
2372He would often declare, in speaking his thoughts upon the subject, that
2373he did not conceive how the greatest family in England could stand it
2374out against an uninterrupted succession of six or seven short
2375noses.--And for the contrary reason, he would generally add, That it
2376must be one of the greatest problems in civil life, where the same
2377number of long and jolly noses, following one another in a direct line,
2378did not raise and hoist it up into the best vacancies in the kingdom.
2379
2380=head2 v5.10.0-RC2 - no epigraph
2381
2382L<Announced on 2007-11-25 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130978.html>
2383
2384=head2 v5.10.0-RC1 - no epigraph
2385
2386L<Announced on 2007-11-17 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/11/msg130653.html>
2387
2388=head2 v5.9.5 - no announcement
2389
2390L<Pre-announced on 2007-07-07 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2007/07/msg126358.html>,
2391available on CPAN with same date, but never actually announced.
2392
2393=head2 v5.9.4 - no epigraph
2394
2395L<Announced on 2006-08-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/08/msg115782.html>
2396
2397=head2 v5.9.3 - no epigraph
2398
2399L<Announced on 2006-01-28 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109086.html>
2400
2401=head2 v5.9.2 - Thomas Pynchon, "V"
2402
f3d08688 2403L<Announced on 2005-04-01 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/04/msg99421.html>
c7bed260
Z
2404
2405This word flip was weird. Every recording date of McClintic's he'd
2406gotten into the habit of talking electricity with the audio men and
2407technicians of the studio. McClintic once couldn't have cared less
2408about electricity, but now it seemed if that was helping him reach a
2409bigger audience, some digging, some who would never dig, but all
2410paying and those royalties keeping the Triumph in gas and McClintic
2411in J. Press suits, then McClintic ought to be grateful to
2412electricity, ought maybe to learn a little more about it. So he'd
2413picked up some here and there, and one day last summer he got around
2414to talking stochastic music and digital computers with one
2415technician. Out of the conversation had come Set/Reset, which was
2416getting to be a signature for the group. He had found out from this
2417sound man about a two-triode circuit called a flip-flop, which when
2418it turned on could be one of two ways, depending on which tube was
2419conducting and which was cut off: set or reset, flip or flop.
2420
2421"And that," the man said, "can be yes or no, or one or zero. And
2422that is what you might call one of the basic units, or specialized
2423`cells' in a big `electronic brain.' "
2424
2425"Crazy," said McClintic, having lost him back there someplace. But
2426one thing that did occur to him was if a computer's brain could go
2427flip or flop, why so could a musician's. As long as you were flop,
2428everything was cool. But where did the trigger-pulse come from to
2429make you flip?
2430
2431=head2 v5.9.1 - Tom Stoppard, "Arcadia"
2432
f3d08688 2433L<Announced on 2004-03-16 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89722.html>
c7bed260
Z
2434
2435Aren't you supposed to have a pony?
2436
2437=head2 v5.9.0 - Doris Lessing, "Martha Quest"
2438
f3d08688 2439L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84147.html>
c7bed260
Z
2440
2441What of October, that ambiguous month
4363636d 2442
4363636d
DG
2443=head2 v5.8.9 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2444
2831a86c
ZA
2445L<Announced on 2008-12-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142571.html>
2446
4363636d
DG
2447Frank and I, unlike the civil servants, were still puzzled that such a
2448proposal as the Europass could even be seriously under consideration by
2449the FCO. We can both see clearly that it is wonderful ammunition for the
2450anti-Europeans. I asked Humphrey if the Foreign Office doesn't realise
2451how damaging this would be to the European ideal?
2452
2453'I'm sure they do, Minister, he said. That's why they support it.'
2454
2455This was even more puzzling, since I'd always been under the impression
2456that the FO is pro-Europe. 'Is it or isn't it?' I asked Humphrey.
2457
2458'Yes and no,' he replied of course, 'if you'll pardon the
2459expression. The Foreign Office is pro-Europe because it is really
2460anti-Europe. In fact the Civil Service was united in its desire to make
2461sure the Common Market didn't work. That's why we went into it.'
2462
2463This sounded like a riddle to me. I asked him to explain further. And
2464basically his argument was as follows: Britain has had the same foreign
2465policy objective for at least the last five hundred years - to create a
2466disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against
2467the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and
2468Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Italians
2469and Germans. [The Dutch rebellion against Phillip II of Spain, the
2470Napoleonic Wars, the First World War, and the Second World War - Ed.]
2471
2472In other words, divide and rule. And the Foreign Office can see no
2473reason to change when it has worked so well until now.
2474
2475I was aware of this, naturally, but I regarded it as ancient history.
2476Humphrey thinks that it is, in fact, current policy. It was necessary
2477for us to break up the EEC, he explained, so we had to get inside. We
2478had previously tried to break it up from the outside, but that didn't
2479work. [A reference to our futile and short-lived involvement in EFTA,
2480the European Free Trade Association, founded in 1960 and which the UK
2481left in 1972 - Ed.] Now that we're in, we are able to make a complete
2482pig's breakfast out of it. We've now set the Germans against the French,
2483the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch... and
2484the Foreign office is terribly happy. It's just like old time.
2485
2486I was staggered by all of this. I thought that the all of us who are
2487publicly pro-European believed in the European ideal. I said this to Sir
2488Humphrey, and he simply chuckled.
2489
2490So I asked him: if we don't believe in the European Ideal, why are we
2491pushing to increase the membership?
2492
2493'Same reason,' came the reply. 'It's just like the United Nations. The
2494more members it has, the more arguments you can stir up, and the more
2495futile and impotent it becomes.'
2496
2497This all strikes me as the most appalling cynicism, and I said so.
2498
2499Sir Humphrey agreed completely. 'Yes Minister. We call it
2500diplomacy. It's what made Britain great, you know.'
2501
4363636d
DG
2502=head2 v5.8.9-RC2 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2503
dd047fac 2504L<Announced on 2008-12-06 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/12/msg142422.html>
2831a86c 2505
4363636d
DG
2506There was silence in the office. I didn't know what we were going to do
2507about the four hundred new people supervising our economy drive or the
2508four hundred new people for the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office, or
2509anything! I simply sat and waited and hoped that my head would stop
2510thumping and that some idea would be suggested by someone sometime soon.
2511
2512Sir Humphrey obliged. 'Minister... if we were to end the economy drive
2513and close the Bureaucratic Watchdog Office we could issue an immediate
2514press announcement that you had axed eight hundred jobs.' He had
2515obviously thought this out carefully in advance, for at this moment he
2516produced a slim folder from under his arm. 'If you'd like to approve
2517this draft...'
2518
2519I couldn't believe the impertinence of the suggestion. Axed eight
2520hundred jobs? 'But no one was ever doing these jobs,' I pointed out
2521incredulously. 'No one's been appointed yet.'
2522
2523'Even greater economy,' he replied instantly. 'We've saved eight hundred
2524redundancy payments as well.'
2525
2526'But...' I attempted to explain '... that's just phony. It's dishonest,
2527it's juggling with figures, it's pulling the wool over people's eyes.'
2528
2529'A government press release, in fact.' said Humphrey.
2530
4363636d
DG
2531=head2 v5.8.9-RC1 - Right Hon. James Hacker MP, "The Complete Yes Minister: The Diaries of a Cabinet Minister"
2532
2831a86c
ZA
2533L<Announced on 2008-11-10 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2008/11/msg141515.html>
2534
4363636d
DG
2535A jumbo jet touched down, with BURANDAN AIRWAYS written on the side. I
2536was hugely impressed. British Airways are having to pawn their Concordes,
2537and here is this little tiny African state with its own airline, jumbo
2538jets and all.
2539
2540I asked Bernard how many planes Burandan Airways had. 'None,' he said.
2541
2542I told him not to be silly and use his eyes. 'No Minister, it belongs to
2543Freddie Laker,' he said. 'They chartered it last week and repainted it
2544specially.' Apparently most of the Have-Nots (I mean, LDCs) do this - at
2545the opening of the UN General Assembly the runways of Kennedy Airport are
2546jam-packed with phoney flag-carriers. 'In fact,' said Bernard with a sly
2547grin, 'there was one 747 that belonged to nine different African airlines
2548in a month. They called it the mumbo-jumbo.'
2549
2550While we watched nothing much happening on the TV except the mumbo-jumbo
2551taxiing around Prestwick and the Queen looking a bit chilly, Bernard gave
2552me the next day's schedule and explained that I was booked on the night
2553sleeper from King's Cross to Edinburgh because I had to vote in a
2554three-line whip at the House tonight and would have to miss the last
2555plane. Then the commentator, in that special hushed BBC voice used for any
2556occasion with which Royalty is connected, announced reverentially that we
2557were about to catch our first glimpse of President Selim.
2558
2559And out of the plane stepped Charlie. My old friend Charlie Umtali. We
2560were at LSE together. Not Selim Mohammed at all, but Charlie.
2561
2562Bernard asked me if I were sure. Silly question. How could you forget a
2563name like Charlie Umtali?
2564
2565I sent Bernard for Sir Humphrey, who was delighted to hear that we now
2566know something about our official visitor.
2567
2568Bernard's official brief said nothing. Amazing! Amazing how little the FCO
2569has been able to find out. Perhaps they were hoping it would all be on the
2570car radio. All the brief says is that Colonel Selim Mohammed had converted
2571to Islam some years ago, they didn't know his original name, and therefore
2572knew little of his background.
2573
2574I was able to tell Humphrey and Bernard /all/ about his background.
2575Charlie was a red-hot political economist, I informed them. Got the top
2576first. Wiped the floor with everyone.
2577
2578Bernard seemed relieved. 'Well that's all right then.'
2579
2580'Why?' I enquired.
2581
2582'I think Bernard means,' said Sir Humphrey helpfully, 'that he'll know how
2583to behave if he was at an English University. Even if it was the LSE.' I
2584never know whether or not Humphrey is insulting me intentionally.
2585
2586Humphrey was concerned about Charlie's political colour. 'When you said
2587that he was red-hot, were you speaking politically?'
2588
2589In a way I was. 'The thing about Charlie is that you never quite know
2590where you are with him. He's the sort of chap who follows you into a
2591revolving door and comes out in front.'
2592
2593'No deeply held convictions?' asked Sir Humphrey.
2594
2595'No. The only thing Charlie was committed too was Charlie.'
2596
2597'Ah, I see. A politician, Minister.'
2598
4363636d
DG
2599=head2 v5.8.8 - Joe Raposo, "Bein' Green"
2600
f3d08688 2601L<Announced on 2006-01-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg109190.html>
2831a86c 2602
4ed12d4a
SH
2603 It's not that easy bein' green
2604 Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
2605 When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
2606 Or something much more colorful like that
51caa79e 2607
4ed12d4a
SH
2608 It's not easy bein' green
2609 It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
2610 And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
2611 Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
2612 Or stars in the sky
51caa79e 2613
4ed12d4a
SH
2614 But green's the color of Spring
2615 And green can be cool and friendly-like
2616 And green can be big like an ocean
2617 Or important like a mountain
2618 Or tall like a tree
4363636d 2619
4ed12d4a
SH
2620 When green is all there is to be
2621 It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why?
2622 Wonder I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
2623 And I think it's what I want to be
4363636d 2624
4363636d
DG
2625=head2 v5.8.8-RC1 - Cosgrove Hall Productions, "Dangermouse"
2626
f3d08688 2627L<Announced on 2006-01-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2006/01/msg108833.html>
2831a86c 2628
4ed12d4a 2629 Greenback: And the world is mine, all mine. Muhahahahaha. See to it!
51caa79e 2630
4ed12d4a 2631 Stiletto: Si, Barone. Subito, Barone.
4363636d 2632
4363636d
DG
2633=head2 v5.8.7 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
2634
f3d08688 2635L<Announced on 2005-05-31 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg101088.html>
2831a86c 2636
4363636d
DG
2637And now, imagine the triumphant procession: Peter at the head; after him the
2638hunters leading the wolf; and winding up the procession, grandfather and the
2639cat.
2640
2641Grandfather shook his head discontentedly: "Well, and if Peter hadn't caught
51caa79e 2642the wolf? What then?"
4363636d 2643
4363636d
DG
2644=head2 v5.8.7-RC1 - Sergei Prokofiev, "Peter and the Wolf"
2645
2831a86c
ZA
2646L<Announced on 2005-05-20 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2005/05/msg100711.html>
2647
4363636d
DG
2648And now this is how things stood: The cat was sitting on one branch. The
2649bird on another, not too close to the cat. And the wolf walked round and
2650round the tree, looking at them with greedy eyes.
2651
2652In the meantime, Peter, without the slightest fear, stood behind the
2653gate, watching all that was going on. He ran home,got a strong rope and
2654climbed up the high stone wall.
2655
2656One of the branches of the tree, around which the wolf was walking,
2657stretched out over the wall.
2658
2659Grabbing hold of the branch, Peter lightly climbed over on to the tree.
2660Peter said to the bird: "Fly down and circle round the wolf's head, only
2661take care that he doesn't catch you!".
2662
2663The bird almost touched the wolf's head with its wings, while the wolf
2664snapped angrily at him from this side and that.
2665
2666How that bird teased the wolf, how that wolf wanted to catch him! But
51caa79e 2667the bird was clever and the wolf simply couldn't do anything about it.
4363636d 2668
4363636d
DG
2669=head2 v5.8.6 - A. A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
2670
f3d08688 2671L<Announced on 2004-11-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg96304.html>
2831a86c 2672
4363636d 2673"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet, giving a jump of surprise. "I knew it was
51caa79e 2674you."
4363636d 2675
51caa79e 2676"So did I,", said Pooh. "What are you doing?"
4363636d
DG
2677
2678"I'm planting a haycorn, Pooh, so that it can grow up into an oak-tree,
2679and have lots of haycorns just outside the front door instead of having
51caa79e 2680to walk miles and miles, do you see, Pooh?"
4363636d 2681
51caa79e 2682"Supposing it doesn't?" said Pooh.
4363636d
DG
2683
2684"It will, because Christopher Robin says it will, so that's why I'm
2685planting it."
2686
2687"Well," aid Pooh, "if I plant a honeycomb outside my house, then it will
51caa79e 2688grow up into a beehive."
4363636d 2689
51caa79e 2690Piglet wasn't quite sure about this.
4363636d
DG
2691
2692"Or a /piece/ of a honeycomb," said Pooh, "so as not to waste too much.
2693Only then I might only get a piece of a beehive, and it might be the
51caa79e 2694wrong piece, where the bees were buzzing and not hunnying. Bother"
4363636d 2695
51caa79e 2696Piglet agreed that that would be rather bothering.
4363636d
DG
2697
2698"Besides, Pooh, it's a very difficult thing, planting unless you know
2699how to do it," he said; and he put the acorn in the hole he had made,
51caa79e 2700and covered it up with earth, and jumped on it.
4363636d 2701
4363636d
DG
2702=head2 v5.8.6-RC1 - A. A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
2703
2831a86c
ZA
2704L<Announced on 2004-11-11 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/11/msg95786.html>
2705
4363636d
DG
2706"Hallo!" said Piglet, "whare are /you/ doing?"
2707
2708"Hunting," said Pooh.
2709
2710"Hunting what?"
2711
2712"Tracking something," said Winnie-the-Pooh very mysteriously.
2713
2714"Tracking what?" said Piglet, coming closer.
2715
2716"That's just what I ask myself, I ask myself, What?"
2717
2718"What do you think you'll answer?"
2719
2720"I shall have to wait until I catch up with it," said Winnie-the-Pooh.
2721"Now, look there." He pointed to the ground in front of him. "What do
2722you see there?"
2723
2724"Track," said Piglet. "Paw-marks." He gave a little squeak of
2725excitement. "Oh, Pooh!" Do you think it's a--a--a Woozle?"
2726
4363636d
DG
2727=head2 v5.8.5 - wikipedia, "Yew"
2728
f3d08688 2729L<Announced on 2004-07-19 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg93189.html>
2831a86c 2730
4363636d
DG
2731Yews are relatively slow growing trees, widely used in landscaping and
2732ornamental horticulture. They have flat, dark-green needles, reddish
2733bark, and bear seeds with red arils, which are eaten by thrushes,
2734waxwings and other birds, dispersing the hard seeds undamaged in their
2735droppings. Yew wood is reddish brown (with white sapwood), and very
2736hard. It was traditionally used to make bows, especially the English
2737longbow.
2738
2739In England, the Common Yew (Taxus baccata, also known as English Yew) is
2740often found in churchyards. It is sometimes suggested that these are
2741placed there as a symbol of long life or trees of death, and some are
2742likely to be over 3,000 years old. It is also suggested that yew trees
2743may have a pre-Christian association with old pagan holy sites, and the
2744Christian church found it expedient to use and take over existing sites.
2745Another explanation is that the poisonous berries and foliage discourage
2746farmers and drovers from letting their animals wander into the burial
2747grounds. The yew tree is a frequent symbol in the Christian poetry of
51caa79e 2748T.S. Eliot, especially his Four Quartets.
4363636d 2749
4363636d
DG
2750=head2 v5.8.5-RC2 - wikipedia, "Beech"
2751
f3d08688 2752L<Announced on 2004-07-09 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92934.html>
2831a86c 2753
4363636d
DG
2754Beeches are trees of the Genus Fagus, family Fagaceae, including about
2755ten species in Europe, Asia, and North America. The leaves are entire or
2756sparsely toothed. The fruit is a small, sharply-angled nut, borne in
2757pairs in spiny husks. The beech most commonly grown as an ornamental or
2758shade tree is the European beech (Fagus sylvatica).
2759
2760The southern beeches belong to a different but related genus,
2761Nothofagus. They are found in Australia, New Zealand, New Guinea, New
51caa79e 2762Caledonia and South America.
4363636d 2763
4363636d
DG
2764=head2 v5.8.5-RC1 - wikipedia, "Pedunculate Oak" (abridged)
2765
f3d08688 2766L<Announced on 2004-07-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/07/msg92840.html>
2831a86c 2767
4363636d
DG
2768The Pedunculate Oak is called the Common Oak in Britain, and is also
2769often called the English Oak in other English speaking countries It is a
2770large deciduous tree to 25-35m tall (exceptionally to 40m), with lobed
2771and sessile (stalk-less) leaves. Flowering takes place in early to mid
2772spring, and their fruit, called "acorns", ripen by autumn of the same
2773year. The acorns are pedunculate (having a peduncle or acorn-stalk) and
2774may occur singly, or several acorns may occur on a stalk.
2775
2776It forms a long-lived tree, with a large widespreading head of rugged
2777branches. While it may naturally live to an age of a few centuries, many
2778of the oldest trees are pollarded or coppiced, both pruning techniques
2779that extend the tree's potential lifespan, if not its health.
2780
2781Within its native range it is valued for its importance to insects and
2782other wildlife. Numerous insects live on the leaves, buds, and in the
2783acorns. The acorns form a valuable food resource for several small
2784mammals and some birds, notably Jays Garrulus glandarius.
2785
2786It is planted for forestry, and produces a long-lasting and durable
51caa79e 2787heartwood, much in demand for interior and furniture work.
4363636d 2788
4363636d
DG
2789=head2 v5.8.4 - T. S. Eliot, "The Old Gumbie Cat"
2790
f3d08688 2791L<Announced on 2004-04-22 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90984.html>
2831a86c 2792
4363636d
DG
2793 I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
2794 The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
2795 She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
2796 She sits and sits and sits and sits -- and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
2797
2798 But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
2799 Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
2800 She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment
2801 To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment.
2802 So she's formed, from that a lot of disorderly louts,
2803 A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
2804 With a purpose in life and a good deed to do--
2805 And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
2806
4363636d
DG
2807 So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers --
2808 On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.
2809
4363636d
DG
2810
2811=head2 v5.8.4-RC2 - T. S. Eliot, "Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
2812
f3d08688 2813L<Announced on 2004-04-16 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90796.html>
2831a86c 2814
4363636d
DG
2815 Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw --
2816 For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
2817 He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
2818 For when they reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
2819
2820 Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
2821 He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
2822 His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
2823 And when you reach the scene of crime -- /Macavity's not there/!
2824 You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air --
2825 But I tell you once and once again, /Macavity's not there/!
2826
4363636d
DG
2827=head2 v5.8.4-RC1 - T. S. Eliot, "Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
2828
f3d08688 2829L<Announced on 2004-04-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/04/msg90422.html>
2831a86c 2830
4363636d
DG
2831 There's a whisper down the line at 11.39
2832 When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
2833 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble?
2834 We must find him of the train can't start.'
2835 All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
2836 They are searching high and low,
2837 Saying 'Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
2838 Then the Night Mail just can't go'
2839 At 11.42 then the signal's overdue
2840 And the passengers are frantic to a man--
2841 Then Skimble will appear and he'll saunter to the rear:
2842 He's been busy in the luggage van!
2843 He gives one flash of his glass-green eyes
c5fb089a 2844 And the signal goes 'All Clear!'
4363636d
DG
2845 And we're off at last of the northern part
2846 Of the Northern Hemisphere!
2847
4363636d
DG
2848=head2 v5.8.3 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaugnessy, "Ode"
2849
f3d08688 2850L<Announced on 2004-01-14 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/01/msg87317.html>
2831a86c 2851
51caa79e
DG
2852 We are the music makers,
2853 And we are the dreamers of dreams,
2854 Wandering by lonely sea-breakers,
2855 And sitting by desolate streams; --
2856 World-losers and world-forsakers,
2857 On whom the pale moon gleams:
2858 Yet we are the movers and shakers
2859 Of the world for ever, it seems.
4363636d 2860
4363636d
DG
2861=head2 v5.8.3-RC1 - Irving Berlin, "Let's Face the Music and Dance"
2862
f3d08688 2863L<Announced on 2004-01-07 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/01/msg86969.html>
2831a86c 2864
4363636d
DG
2865 There may be trouble ahead,
2866 But while there's music and moonlight,
2867 And love and romance,
2868 Let's face the music and dance.
2869
2870 Before the fiddlers have fled,
2871 Before they ask us to pay the bill,
2872 And while we still have that chance,
2873 Let's face the music and dance.
2874
2875 Soon, we'll be without the moon,
2876 Humming a different tune, and then,
2877
2878 There may be teardrops to shed,
2879 So while there's music and moonlight,
2880 And love and romance,
2881 Let's face the music and dance.
2882
4363636d
DG
2883=head2 v5.8.2 - Walt Whitman, "Passage to India"
2884
f3d08688 2885L<Announced on 2003-11-05 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84822.html>
2831a86c 2886
4363636d
DG
2887 Passage, immediate passage! the blood burns in my veins!
2888 Away O soul! hoist instantly the anchor!
2889 Cut the hawsers - hall out - shake out every sail!
2890 Have we not stood here like trees in the ground long enough?
2891 Have we not grovel'd here long enough, eating and drinking like mere brutes?
2892 Have we not darken'd and dazed ourselves with books long enough?
2893
4363636d
DG
2894 Sail forth - steer for the deep waters only,
2895 Reckless O soul, exploring, I with the and thou with me,
2896 For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
2897 And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.
2898
2899 O my brave soul!
2900 O farther farther sail!
2901 O daring job, but safe! are they not all the seas of God?
2902 O farther, farther, farther sail!
2903
2ee7da68 2904=head2 v5.8.2-RC2 - Eric Idle and John Du Prez, "Accountancy Shanty"
4363636d 2905
f3d08688 2906L<Announced on 2003-11-03 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84645.html>
2831a86c 2907
4363636d
DG
2908 It's fun to charter an accountant
2909 And sail the wide accountan-cy,
2910 To find, explore the funds offshore
2911 And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
2912
4363636d
DG
2913=head2 v5.8.2-RC1 - Edward Lear, "The Jumblies"
2914
f3d08688 2915L<Announced on 2003-10-27 by Nicholas Clark|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/10/msg84194.html>
2831a86c 2916
4363636d
DG
2917 They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
2918 In a Sieve they went to sea:
2919 In spite of all their friends could say,
2920 On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
2921 In a Sieve they went to sea!
2922 And when the Sieve turned round and round,
2923 And everyone cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
2924 They cried aloud, "Our Sieve ain't big,
2925 But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig!
2926 In a Sieve we'll go to sea!"
2927
2928 Far and few, far and few,
2929 Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
2930 Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
2931 And they went to sea in a Sieve.
2932
2831a86c
ZA
2933=head2 v5.8.1 - epigraph same as v5.7.1
2934
2935L<Announced on 2003-09-25 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82678.html>
2936
2937=head2 v5.8.1-RC5 - Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"
2938
2939L<Announced on 2003-09-22 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/09/msg82476.html>
2940
2941No matter what she did with her hair it took about
2942three minutes for it to tangle itself up again,
2943like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Footnote: Which,
2944no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil
2945overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles].
2946
2947=head2 v5.8.1-RC4 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
2948
2949L<Announced on 2003-08-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/08/msg79184.html>
2950
2951Grand Viziers were /always/ scheming megalomaniacs.
2952It was probably in the job description: "Are you a
2953devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good,
2954then you can be my most trusted minister."
2955
2956=head2 v5.8.1-RC3 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
2957
2958L<Announced on 2003-07-30 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg79048.html>
2959
2960Lord Hong had a mind like a knife, although possibly
2961a knife with a curved blade.
2962
2963=head2 v5.8.1-RC2 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
2964
2965L<Announced on 2003-07-11 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78102.html>
2966
2967Many an ancient lord's last words had been, "You can't kill
2968me because I've got magic aaargh."
2969
2970=head2 v5.8.1-RC1 - Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"
2971
2972L<Announced on 2003-07-10 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/07/msg78009.html>
2973
2974Cohen was familiar with city gates. He'd broken down a number
2975in his time, by battering ram, siege gun, and on one occasion
2976with his head.
2977
2978But the gates of Hunghung were pretty damn good gates. They
2979weren't like the gates of Ankh-Morpork, which were usually wide
2980open to attract the spending customer and whose concession to
2981defense was the sign "Thank You For Not Attacking Our City.
2982Bonum Diem." These things were big and made of metal and there
2983was a guardhouse and a squad of unhelpful men in black armor.
2984
2831a86c
ZA
2985=head2 v5.8.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
2986
2987L<Announced on 2002-07-18 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63720.html>
2988
2989There was the faint sound of footsteps.
2990"Chap with a whip got as far as the big sharp spikes last week,"
2991said the low priest.
2992There was a sound like the flushing of a very old dry lavatory.
2993The footsteps stopped. The High Priest smiled to himself.
2994"Right," he said. "See your two pebbles and raise you two pebbles."
2995The low priest threw down his cards. "Double Onion," he said.
2996The High Priest looked down suspiciously.
2997The low priest consulted a scrap of paper. "That's three hundred
2998thousand, nine hundred and sixty-four pebbles you owe me," he said.
2999There was the sound of footsteps. The priests exchanged glances.
3000"Haven't had one for poisoned-dart alley for quite some time,"
3001said the High Priest.
3002"Five says he makes it", said the low priest. "You're on."
3003There was a faint clatter of metal points on stone.
3004"It's a shame to take your pebbles."
3005There were footsteps again.
3006
3007=head2 v5.8.0-RC3 - no epigraph
3008
3009L<Announced on 2002-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/07/msg63234.html>
3010
3011=head2 v5.8.0-RC2 - no epigraph
3012
3013L<Announced on 2002-06-21 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg62013.html>
3014
3015=head2 v5.8.0-RC1 - no epigraph
3016
3017L<Announced on 2002-06-01 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/06/msg60317.html>
3018
3019=head2 v5.7.3 - Terry Pratchett, "Reaper Man"
3020
3021L<Announced on 2002-03-04 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2002/03/msg53652.html>
3022
3023Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong.
3024No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always
3025got there first, and is waiting for it.
3026
3027=head2 v5.7.2 - Terry Pratchett, "Small Gods"
3028
3029L<Announced on 2001-07-13 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/07/msg40370.html>
3030
3031His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools --
3032the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up
3033all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any
3034bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing
3035you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
3036
3037=head2 v5.7.1 - Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
3038
dd047fac 3039L<Announced on 2001-04-09 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33851.html>
4363636d 3040
4363636d
DG
3041"What happens next?" asked Twoflower.
3042
3043Hrun screwed a finger in his ear and inspected it absently.
3044
3045"Oh,", he said, "I expect in a minute the door will be
3046flung back and I'll be dragged off to some sort of temple
3047arena where I'll fight maybe a couple of giant spiders
3048and an eight-foot slave from the jungles of Klatch and then
3049I'll rescue some kind of a princess from the altar and then
3050I'll kill off a few guards or whatever and then this girl
3051will show me the secret passage out of the place and we'll
3052liberate a couple of horses and escape with the treasure."
3053Hrun leaned his head back on his hands and looked at the
3054ceiling, whistling tunelessly.
3055
3056"All that?" said Twoflower.
3057
3058"Usually."
3059
c7bed260
Z
3060=head2 v5.7.0 - Terry Pratchett, "Moving Pictures"
3061
3062L<Announced on 2000-09-02 by Jarkko Hietaniemi|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/09/msg17730.html>
3063
3064The Librarian had seen many weird things in his time,
3065but that had to be the 57th strangest.
3066[footnote: he had a tidy mind]
3067
2ee7da68 3068=head2 v5.6.2 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
c7bed260 3069
f3d08688 3070L<Announced on 2003-11-15 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg85222.html>
c7bed260
Z
3071
3072When great or unexpected events fall out upon the stage of this
3073sublunary word--the mind of man, which is an inquisitive kind of
3074a substance, naturally takes a flight, behind the scenes, to see
3075what is the cause and first spring of them--The search was not
3076long in this instance.
3077
2ee7da68 3078=head2 v5.6.2-RC1 - Laurence Sterne, "Tristram Shandy"
c7bed260 3079
f3d08688 3080L<Announced on 2003-11-08 by Rafael Garcia-Suarez|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/11/msg84953.html>
c7bed260
Z
3081
3082"Pray, my dear", quoth my mother, "have you not forgot to wind up the clock?"
3083
2831a86c 3084=head2 v5.6.1 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", Riddles in the Dark
4363636d 3085
2831a86c 3086L<Announced on 2001-04-08 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33823.html>
4363636d 3087
2831a86c
ZA
3088`What have I got in my pocket?' he said aloud. He was talking to
3089himself, but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully
3090upset.
4363636d 3091
2831a86c
ZA
3092`Not fair! not fair!' he hissed. `It isn't fair, my precious, is it,
3093to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?'
4363636d 3094
2831a86c
ZA
3095Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask
3096stuck to his question, `What have I got in my pocket?' he said
3097louder.
4363636d 3098
2831a86c
ZA
3099`S-s-s-s-s,' hissed Gollum. `It must give us three guesseses,
3100my precious, three guesseses.'
4363636d 3101
2831a86c 3102=head2 v5.6.1-foolish - no epigraph
4363636d 3103
dd047fac 3104L<Announced on 2001-04-01 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/04/msg33421.html>
3e340399 3105
2831a86c 3106=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL3 - I can't find the announcement
4363636d 3107
a4b0381d
MS
3108No announcement available.
3109
2831a86c 3110=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL2 - no epigraph
4363636d 3111
2831a86c 3112L<Announced on 2001-01-31 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2001/01/msg29934.html>
4363636d 3113
2831a86c 3114=head2 v5.6.1-TRIAL1 - no epigraph
4363636d 3115
2831a86c 3116L<Announced on 2000-12-18 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/12/msg27738.html>
4363636d 3117
2831a86c 3118=head2 v5.6.0 - J R R Tolkien, "The Hobbit", The Last Stage
a4b0381d 3119
2831a86c
ZA
3120L<Announced on 2000-03-23 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10341.html>
3121
4ed12d4a
SH
3122 The dragon is withered,
3123 His bones are now crumbled;
3124 His armour is shivered,
3125 His splendour is humbled!
3126 Though sword shall be rusted,
3127 And throne and crown perish
3128 With strength that men trusted
3129 And wealth that they cherish,
3130 Here grass is still growing,
3131 And leaves are a yet swinging,
3132 The white water flowing,
3133 And elves are yet singing
3134 Come! Tra-la-la-lally!
3135 Come back to the valley.
2831a86c 3136
2831a86c
ZA
3137=head2 v5.6.0-RC3 - no epigraph
3138
3139L<Announced on 2000-03-22 by Gurusamy Sarathy|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2000/03/msg10140.html>
4363636d 3140
c7bed260
Z
3141=head2 v5.005_05-RC1 - no epigraph
3142
3143L<Announced on 2009-02-16 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2009/02/msg144227.html>
3144
3145=head2 v5.005_04 - no epigraph
3146
f3d08688 3147L<Announced on 2004-03-01 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/03/msg89047.html>
c7bed260
Z
3148
3149=head2 v5.005_04-RC2 - Rudyard Kipling, "The Jungle Book"
3150
f3d08688 3151L<Announced on 2004-02-19 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/02/msg88672.html>
c7bed260
Z
3152
3153The monkeys called the place their city, and pretended to despise
3154the Jungle-People because they lived in the forest. And yet they
3155never knew what the buildings were made for nor how to use
3156them. They would sit in circles on the hall of the king's council
3157chamber, and scratch for fleas and pretend to be men; or they would
3158run in and out of the roofless houses and collect pieces of plaster
3159and old bricks in a corner, and forget where they had hidden them,
3160and fight and cry in scuffling crowds, and then break off to play up
3161and down the terraces of the king's garden, where they would shake
3162the rose trees and the oranges in sport to see the fruit and flowers
3163fall.
3164
3165=head2 v5.005_04-RC1 - Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"
3166
f3d08688 3167L<Announced on 2004-02-05 by LE<0xe9>on Brocard|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2004/02/msg88312.html>
c7bed260
Z
3168
3169Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
3170plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
3171going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
3172she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked
3173at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
3174cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
3175hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as she
3176passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
3177disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
3178of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
3179she fell past it.
3180
3181=head2 v1.0_16 - Johan Vromans, extemporarily
3182
f3d08688
SH
3183L<Announced on 2003-12-18 by Richard Clamp|http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/2003/12/msg86423.html>
3184
3185 't was 16 years ago today
3186 Larry taught us a new game
3187 of lazyness, impatience, and hubris
3188 Happy birthday, Perl!
c7bed260 3189
4363636d
DG
3190=head1 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
3191
0e6b8110 3192This document was originally compiled based on a list of epigraphs
4363636d
DG
3193on L<Perl Monks|http://perlmonks.org> titled
3194L<Recent Perl Release Announcement|http://perlmonks.org/?node_id=372406>
3195by ysth.
3196
3197=cut
3e340399 3198
4363636d 3199# vim:tw=72: